Restlessness is a sign of transformation

Notice at the perfect moment, light penetrates like a catalyst to clarify what disconnects from all that is real and matters in heart. By affirming our dignity and allowing others theirs, we are able to honor ourselves, connect as equals, move forward with insight.

Earlier in life, I often heard myself saying things like;

"Everything happens for a reason"

"It was for the best"

"It was a blessing in disguise"

(all of which were relevant in context...)

In passing, such phrases sound optimistic and seem harmless. Yet, with maturity, I realized I had been taught to dismiss very real concerns and feelings worthy of considerable attention. People would cross my boundaries, be hurtful, or behave in ways that went against my core values or intuition and I would be overly tolerant and accepting or too easily forgiving. Making light of difficult situations was a superficial way of glossing over issues. This felt better in the short-term, but ultimately, it solved nothing and left hidden issues to linger. In fact, as I go down the rabbit hole, it appears I mastered the art of pretending things were fine when they were clearly not.

Part of my awakening has involved recognizing I would hide or avoid anger that deserved to be felt and expressed, Rather than working through hard emotions or confronting unresolved issues, I used to simply downplay or dismiss them. Believing traumatic events must serve as “learning experiences” or focusing on the silver lining behind every negative experience, did not allow me to experience the fullness of the wisdom they held. Assuming I had a handle on it was how I hid from insecurities. It was a clever way I pulled the wool over my eyes until I was ready to go deeper.

I went through stages where I was convinced spiritual practices I engage in are always positive. Feeling detached also came to mean I was not fully conscious or present. I was very good at focusing on the positive or being overly optimistic. Had no idea I was projecting negative feelings. At some stage, it dawned positive thinking is not the way to overcome problems. Facing shadows is far more effective. Rather than attempting to “rise above” emotions, I learned to feel, heal and move through them.

Pride is difficult to detect in ourselves because it is a refusal to admit wrong or see a need to change. As the light of our dignity shines more brightly, we realize that we don’t have to be perfect. Showing vulnerability and humility invites stronger connection. We move from the superficial into soul-level relationships. We grow approachable rather than seem intimidating. We don’t see ourselves as better or worse than anyone else. We are the same.

It is freeing to hold ourselves with the dignity that comes from simply being human. We don’t need to achieve “greatness” to have worth and value. Greatness is innate . We might be inclined to seek excellence because it feels meaningful, energizing and expansive, but not because it defines who we are.

It dawns pride that drives us at certain stages of life prevents us from acknowledging our human vulnerabilities. When driven by shame or illusion of inferiority, its uncomfortable to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, I made a mistake.” When pride rules, we believe we’re always right or we fear backing down. This makes it difficult to know and sustain intimacy.

A self-centred culture teaches we must achieve self-actualization (enlightenment) to be truly happy. This quest also contributes to a tendency to avoid difficult or painful emotions. Rather than trying to solve problems in environments that cause suffering, self-centred culture teaches people that they alone are responsible for their destiny. At certain stages, maybe you relate?

What stands out is that negative thoughts and feelings serve a purpose. They do not exist so we avoid them. Rather, they point to a diminshed self image, deep hurt, sadness and that emotions that require acceptance and validation. Negative thoughts exist so we use those thoughts to propel positive actions. Simply putting on rose-colored glasses and ignoring deeper issues does not make them go away. Choosing instead to forge friendships, look people directly in the eye, be candid and share vulnerability, are keys to being more assertive, self-loving and decisive when it counts.

Ultimately, discomfort is a soul-level sign that something is not right and needs to change. If you think you lessen discomfort by simply avoiding it, or normalizing abnormal behaviour, situations causing distress will remain. Yet, to recognize the nature of our unconscious behaviours, is to see restlessness is itself a sign of our ongoing quantum transformation. We are catching up with the light.

Access more joy

Notice for some, joy may seem out of reach or not experienced regularly in daily life. What is your experience of happiness for no reason, that which is embodied, open, energetic, alive? Does anything arise? Were these passing states? Is it just a state you imagine when you feel stressed and seek to get somewhere else? What is required to tap into it as an enduring part of our Being? How often do we celebrate simply Being right where we are, come what may? How often do we sense beauty and tenderness? Aliveness and openness grow more accessible as we open and value the whole of existence. Its like shifting awareness from viewing life as a problem to solve, into seeing life a mystery to experience. Do we feel obligated to feel joy or is it spontaneous? In the same way, to commit to realize full potential, empathize with the suffering to around us makes us feel more connected to our world. It is also part of our commitment to being whole to feel open to loving the world as it is. As we cultivate presence, this natural capacity within each of us, we actually cultivate paths for joy. Being open to light-heartedness happens as we pay attention and cherish all of existence. The quality of life is experienced in proportion to allowing our capacity for delight to guide us. This is a gift we give ourselves as we pay attention. Joy happens. It arises from the simple experiences; jumping into piles of leaves, tuning into the scent of a flower, the wind blowing on our face, a snowflake landing on the tongue, the taste of a strawberry. The experience of joy is so-life giving that it feels natural to find joy in everything from sunrise to sunset and all that unfolds in between.

Vulnerability is strength

Notice the more vulnerable we are, the more invulnerable or untouchable we are. Contrary to what is often taught, we are only ever vulnerable to ourselves. What other people think is irrelevant. Fear of vulnerability stems from fear of self-love. The irony is that to be vulnerable is to be truly powerful, confident and free. To be fully open and transparent, is to hide nothing, fear nothing and be indomitable. As we love and accept ourselves as we are, fears and insecurities fall away. We only seek to control others so long as we are run by insecurities. The more vulnerable we are, the more the subconscious trickle of negative thoughts/ beliefs dissipates. Society is designed to make us protective of self-image. Social acceptance is based on a keeping up an "acceptable" identity. Embracing vulnerability invites us to break the shell that hides who we are so we reveal it and grow as a Soul. Society trains and challenges us to project and reach outward for a sense of success and happiness until something shifts our focus inward. As you choose love, choose to be more gentle and kind to self and others, you embrace vulnerability, consciousness expands and realities shift. Being conditioned into anxious states keeps us looking outward for success and happiness so people avoid finding security within. Fear is metaphysical energy moving into greater fear and illness. Vulnerability is a path to opening up and questioning everything you think about yourself, to go with the flow of what comes and goes. As consciousness expands, what one fears losing turns out to be the construct of social conditioning. At the perfect moment, it dawns the transition from metaphysical and physical to purely metaphysical is simply a change in energy. Being aware of everything as energy, is a state where fear no longer runs you. As long as you fear death, attachment, identity, the body, life mirrors your fear. As you begin to see fear is illusion, you stop fearing judgement, retribution, constructs, ideas linked to death and dying. Caution though. This goes way beyond a mental journey. True aliveness unfolds through a mulit-facited, visceral journey. Ultimately, vulnerability is a choice and a vibrational energy field. Trust is also a vibration. Choosing to let go of defenses that cloud more than the solar plexus is life-changing. It marks milestones, stages of Soul transformation.

5 Words to Clarify Purpose

You may find yourself asking, “What do I want in life right now?” So, revisit purpose.

At different life stages, you may define success, fame, money, wisdom, fulfillment and words like “happiness”. Generally though, when asked, people reply with a combination of these things and what they cannot describe. You may not reflect too much until at some point, the issue of deeper purpose arises in mind and you cannot shake it. Whether or not you realize it, you unconsciously chase the answer during much of your life, creating experiences, for the pursuit of something you may not put your finger on. Soul purpose may then take shape in surprising ways.

  Never before has HUmanity known so much about what we consciously and subconsciously look for in life.  For starters, we may be prompted to look at different life areas but this only begins to touch the surface.  Consider five words to further explore how you see yourself and the nature of your purpose.

1. Survival

2. Harmony

3. Connection

4. Growth

5. Release

Precipitate a revelation

Notice each of us is a version of the universe experiencing itself. Fear nothing. Watch events unfold. A common regret before life transitions is the view: “I wasn’t true to myself.” At the supposed end of one’s life, the key is relationship to oneself (how well does one know self and live in harmony with this knowing?) In yoga, this is essence of the human condition. We are all on a journey to find ourselves, our true nature or "inner" self. Whole universe is an expression of consciousness. Your own consciousness ( sense of being) is part of infinite consciousness of the universe, just as a wave is part of the ocean. In fact, just like the wave, we are not only part of, but also One with the infinite. Not everyone realizes this. We are taught our existence is limited so we experience a limited reality. Yet, we have an inner longing for limitlessness. We want unlimited happiness. In Truth, we want bliss (infinite joy) within, to awaken to our essence. That’s why we’re seeking. That’s why we’ll only be content when we find ourselves. So if we can expand our sense of existence from ego consciousness to infinite consciousness; from our small sense of self to the greater Cosmic Self like a river merges in the ocean waves, then we will experience this bliss we long for.