Dr. Liara Covert
Breathwork Psychotherapist
Sunshine Coast, Queensland

   

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Entries in self-love (12)

Tuesday
Jan082019

10 Life-changing revelations 

This moment invites a new level of reflection.  During meditation, certain ah-ha moments arise within.  Ponder the implications of these 10 life-changing revelations;

1. Remembering who you are

Self-realisation is reaching that place where you know you are not your body, not the mind, not your emotions, not that which changes with time.  You are the Soul.  If you take away what you are aware of, you are still aware this is not there. Take away awareness and the light goes out.

2. Growing aware of the power of the psyche

The moment the psyche drops into the body is not necessarily as the result of traumatic events in childhood. This moment is so powerful, that it pulls our consciousness fully and instantaneously into the limiting experience. We forget who we are (infinite) because we are busy paying attention to the object of who we are instead of the source of consciousness.  The more intense the emotions, the more powerful an experience feels, the more distracting it is. When we drop into the body, consciousness is immediately distracted by senses, sounds.  Discomfort arises due to an imagined loss of self. However some beings do not drop into the body completely. They struggle with grounding in this world, staying linked to Source.

3. Creating the self concept

We define a world inside ourselves that supports our self concept. Our identity does not develop, but we create it to soften the blow, to distract ourselves from pain of perceived loss of Self.  We each pull the self concept around ourselves, like wool over the eyes, embellish it with the idea that it protects us from deeper pain.  Discomfort prompts each of us to grasp hold of labels and things to define us and enable us to feel more at ease with ideas of who we are in the environment we are living in. The lost Self attempts to redefine itself.  

4.   Changing self -definitions

Throughout our lives, we latch onto experiences to define us.  Ego is this masquerading self we pull over our consciousness.  We reflect on our curriculum vitae or accomplishments for instance, or label ourselves based on a series of changing relationships (i.e. friend, single, married, divorced, parent, widowed, etc).  We define ourselves by changing conditions and relationships to orient ourselves in an ever-changing reality that only exists in the mind.

5.  Feeling driven by fear 

Regardless of what we think we achieve, the false self is driven by fear of rejection, fear of being found out, fear of our self-created 'safe' realities falling apart. Deep down, we do not want life to pass us by and yet, any fear that arises within is pointing to the original fear of loss of Self that happened when we took a body. We subconsciously tell ourselves that as long as we can control things the way we define them, we can feel safer and supported.  Core panic unrecoginzed echoes attention is hijacked elsewhere than who we are.    

6. Distinguishing between core and facade

When someone dies or leaves our lives, grief often arises.  The majority of people are only ever dealing with emotion they feel related to the external world.  The real grief emerging is that which you feel about the illusion of separation you feel toward source consciousness, that which is never really lost, only forgotten.  As long as the predictable aspects of our realities continue, its like we have body guards and we feel secure, powerful, confident.  Our masks exist to protect us from the Truth of who we are.

7. Awakening to spirituality

Awakening to spirituality is about dealing with core Self rather than hiding from it.  We are no longer duped by or lost in the masquerade.   This is about working through the hurdles we create to get through the imagined fear, to deal with the fear of loss of who we are, so it ceases to occur.  It is about recognizing the game we buy into, recognizing the likes and dislikes we hold dear, the unconscious judgements we make about everything that attempt to control predictable outcomes.  On some level, when we feel insecure, we put loads of attention and effort into initatives to feel loved and accepted.  If we are living life to hide from Self, we never get anywhere.  Notice whenever something inside is not okay, that it attempts to feel okay by manipulating and exerting control over the external world. Growing aware that attempts to control are not working is the stepping stone to realizing what you are trying to hide from and compensate for.

8.  Finding True Being

We only ever truly emerge into this world when we stop being motivated by fear and are instead inspired by Love and compassion.  When our power and conditions arise from unconditional love (as opposed to conditional states like changing weather, finances, economy, rejection, ect), we are powerful beyond measure.

9. Recognizing everything is shiftable

Feelings are is shiftable. This has nothing to do with the external world. Stop looking outside to define yourself.  Instead, look inward to work with yourself.  Stop keeping yourself entertained, distracted so you think you are okay.  Work consciously with the part of you that is bothered by external changes.

10. Being okay with reality

This is not the false reality you have created and perpetuated much of our lives.  This is not about forcing conditions and people to be or do what we want.  This is about being okay with whatever is unfolding, working with it, accepting that it is for the best even if we do not yet grasp the bigger picture.  We do not access our magic if we do not surrender our desire to control and see the blessings in everything. Decide to notice what is bothering us in this moment.  Choose to relax amidst the discomfort.  Disengage. Stop complaining or resisting or taking things personally. Stop allowing external unfoldings to disturb us. Allow the distrubance to pass through.  Discomfort pass through as we leave it alone.  We let go of te parts of the world we were using to define us. We honour and respect the flow of everything. Consider 12 ways to reframe fear and failure and 5 Tips to own it.

Tuesday
Jan012019

5 things to allow you to thrive

Whether unconsciously or during silent contemplation, we regularly ask ourselves what can we do to be truly authentic, more accepting of ourselves and others, and instrumental in expansion or allowing something beyond us to reveal more of the wider Truth. The short answer is it all begins within.  recalibration is ongoing. Although we may not yet consciously experience our innate power in all its facits, there exist things we can do to thrive.  Consider these 5 tips: 

1. Grow aware of disempowering beliefs and replace them with empowering ones

As we do this, we feel and observe the resulting rapid changes that happen in our lives, Changes in conditions only seem to take effort or magic when we do not understand the energetic forces behind them.

2.  Feel and tune into joy as pure energy 

As you choose to be joyful, laugh spontaneously more often and do those things that evoke joy, you constantly revitalze and inspire yourself to create amazing things and enrich this world. 

3. Express what we love about ourselves and others

As we express love openly without fear, we are healing a part of ourselves that never received the attention and appreciation it deserved early in this life and in other lives (if the pattern).  Share how you feel. Be creative and specific about how and what you love.  Say it loud and clear.

4. Realize this is about unlearning more than learning

As it hits thriving is not about doing more, but about letting go of more of the filters that block it, we discover doing less, letting go of control, has a greater impact than we ever thougth possible.

5.  Breathe the way to clarity

The power of the breath and breathwork are often understimated. The pace and rhythm of your breath shares your story of love and fear. Pay attention. The intensity or tranquility of the breath speaks volumes about the degree to which you thive.  Accepting this process is not really about you.  It is an exercise in humility. The human in you is driven by ego wants and desires. Consciousness and a larger reality unfolds without you.  It moves through the breath.  Revelations reveal themselves with perfect timing.

Saturday
Sep152018

Interview with destiny

Wouldn't it be nice to converse one-on-one with destiny? These questions are an invitation to grow aware of what is driving you: the logical mind, feeling heart or some combination.  Do you self-question and hear no response? Imagine the future or more authentic version of yourself is eager to answer and finally more audible than ever before. 

Q: Peers have big changes happening in their lives. I feel stagnant, stuck. Am I lost or, is there something wrong with me if I am unaware of similar shifts in my life?

Notice comparison is self-judgement or lack of self-acceptance. To sense or focus on what is not happening takes attention away from noticing and thriving on what is. Everyone is on a unique path to seeing and accepting their own greatness and innate genius. Each at his/her own pace.  

Q: Okay, I have the vision. How do to make it happen?

The what is the creative role of the mind and comes before the how. Ego thinks it controls the what, the how and when. Another voice echoes dream-making and dream-finding is an exercise in give and take between the heart- mind.  To assume separation has you think you must force things. Do you think you never do enough? That you are not enough? Just as you cannot force love to happen, you cannot force visions. Surrender guides you into the flow. Similarly, you do not really bake but allow it to rise based on right conditions and what is out of your control.

Q: So, I feel silly talking about my dream. It sounds crazy!  What do I do?

Who or what feels silly or crazy? The ego. Why? Ask yourself what threatens the ego. Focus on the heartfelt version of you that gets excited about the vision and does not doubt or fear. It knows all is said and done.  Keep adding detail to the vision. Where are you? What are you doing? How do people feel around you? Know and feel that its all real and happening. Write it down. Share your enthusiasm. It rubs off! Remember-watch your thoughts: you catch up with what you believe.  Watch your words: your reality emerges from all you express.  Observe your experience: are you living the dream or do your thoughts, beliefs and self-expression echo obstacles exist between you and dreams? What are you choosing to perpetuate: love and harmony in thought, word and action or, fear and disharmony?

Q: I feel purpose-driven. Not knowing my destiny worries me...

Purpose changes at different perceived life stages.  To create an ego identity, you adopt labels and life roles.  Ask yourself to grow aware of who these labels appease. Who holds expectations? Everything mirrors you. Language and behaviour reveal how you feel about yourself. You cannot escape the truth but you can hide for as long as you choose.

Q: Which emotions are safe to feel?

Self-love is reflected in the energy of excitment, belief in yourself, knowing that dreams are realized. Self-doubt, self-hate, self-loathing focus your vitality in self-defeating or self-sabotaging directions.  Although its valuable to recognize and feel all emotions, and explore triggers for the purpose of healing, where you focus attention shapes your experience.  Imagine what a simple change in self perception does. Destiny is not about what you do but who you are, and the degree you accept this in all you present to the world.

Q: When does a person stop seeking destiny?

You decide exactly when seeking stops.  When you stop focusing so much on job-seeking, the perfect opportunities mysteriously find you.  The right person, place or whatever you used to be looking for comes along or presents itself in unexpected ways.  This is about seeing yourself and realting or connecting to everything differently. Its a difference you feel.

Q: What can I do to be more authentic? 

Authenticity is about listening. When you are open to learning more about yourself and why you think and feel as you do, intuition grows louder. It is ever-present, but often overlooked or simply unheard.  Detecting vibes of the heart-mind allows you to notice more synchronicities.  Its up to you what to notice, how to feel and when to act. The flow does not give you the outcome the ego wants; it will not make things necessarily easy for you.  It does not give you what you want but what the soul needs to grow and blossom.

Q: What is intuition exactly? 

Intuition is the language of the Soul. Like any language, one can tune in, block out, forget, remember, learn or unlearn signs and symbols.  They are created and decoded by you.  Imagine yourself as a code-breaker, extraordinary detective, and also one or knows your life vision. You simply join the dots you choose to see. 

Thursday
Aug162018

6 Tips to deepen self-love

Many people ask the question why am I here? Or is what I am doing really right now worthwhile? Each person is invited to determine the course of his/her life in stages and steps.  Reflect on the 6 acts of self-love to get you to that as yet unidentified destination;

1. Integrate emotional memories

Loving every part of you is about uncovering and healing sub-personalities and the emotions that give power to these sub-personalities.  This means uncovering core beliefs that drive you, owning the foundation of your sub-personality and healing the pain that keeps false beliefs alive.

2. Real forgiveness

True freedom is about making grudges and distorted (unloving) relationships conscious, communicating your truth and taking responsibility for how you feel and recognizing who has the pwoer to change this. Specifiy who, if anyone, you wish to forgive and give yourself the gift of greater peace of mind.

3. Redefining boundaries

Choosing to speak and honour your truth in other ways is about communicating your realty, what you will and will not accept.  This is about making people-pleasing tendencies conscious, recognizing and healing co-dependence in relationships and distorted dynamics in other settings.

4. Give yourself what makes you happy

How often do you allow yourself  to listen to the heart? follow intuition? Prioritizing what enables you to feel good can be as simple as creating space, 'me' time, focusing energy on self-care and self-development. Now is the moment to be good to yourself. Let go what causes misery.  Focus attention on what uplifts your spirit and nourishes the Soul. Share what evokes happiness for you right now.

5.  Merge with those dreams

Taking action to realize dreams is not meant for the back burner. Your dreams exist to be made manifest by your focus and applying the power of your thoughts, attitude and intention.  The point is not to escape the material plane with doubt about 'pipedreams' but rather to be the magician to empower and transform.

6. Focus energy on mind-body wellness

To be truly powerful and demonstrate self-love in action, simply focus energy, which is the same thing as money and time, on what keeps your heart and soul together. Nurture interconnectedness and heal whatever perpetuates discomfort or the illusion of separation between who you think you are and who you wish to be.

Wednesday
May232018

8 Messages about permission

Nothing appears or disappears from our life without our permission. Yet, this is easily overlooked.  How often do you find yourself in situations where; a) you must decide to give or deny your permission, b) you feel hurt, betrayed or compromised as someone acted without asking your permission or c) you encounter situations where multiple levels of permission (or approval) are required? This is an opportunity to delve deeper into what is really going on with the recurrent theme.  Ponder 8 messages about permission; 

1.  Everything that comes or goes is for your highest good 

2.  Nothing leaves your life unless the related lesson is learned

3.  Issues only arise as you cling to unworthiness 

4.  Sometimes persmission issues are what someone else needs to go through 

5.  Denying your permission is an effort to control

6.  The need to obtain approval invites letting go

7.   Being detached from results shifts situations without force

8.  Efforts to recreate the past prevents accepting and doing your best in present

 

Affirmations

a) I give myself permission to love myself unconditionally as I am

b) Nobody can hurt, trigger or intimidate me without my consent

c) I am a growing, evolving being

d) How much I give or deny self love is reflected back (love more & things accelerate)

e) No impediments/ obstacles exist except in thought (mind)


 "Scarcity of self value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence."-Gary Zukav

"With each inhalation of your breath, allow yourself to go deep within the inner aspects of your soul.  With each exhalation, give yourself permission to release cloudy, limiting thoughts, stifled emotions and stagnant energy." - James Van Praagh

"Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." - Rumi