Love Yourself First

Notice loving yourself first brings greater clarity and fulfillment on a wider scale. "Who am I" who is able to give love? Am I giving it or, simply wanting to receive it? And is this about love or wanting to be desired, accepted, valued, heard? Love and desire are not the same. In this context, to be loved (desired) one day could lead to being rejected another day. Desire is then, not a stable form of emotional energy. Is my desire truly "love" for another or a subtle attempt to control and possess and take away their freedom or potential for growth? Does the free offer of love grow into an unconscious demand based on set of conditions? Is love then selfish or selfless? Is love based on fear, perceived lack and assumed instability without the other? Its amidst the chaos of internal self conflict that the impossibility of certain love is recognized. Related relationships end. This revelation evokes misery, despair, sense of where to from here? The very structure of collective ego is in a state of fragmentation. The only way out of the quagmire is through- to feel and return to Source, focus on love power that is ever present and accessible, alongside the courage to let go of the unreal.

Ego's ideas of love can justify regressing to childish behaviour. To move out of the energy of a codepedent struggle, mental-emotional imprisonment of the other, the key is to recognize true love is about letting go not clinging or holding on. When the other flies, and detaches emotionally, ego is abandonned. True love is seen as it is. Only love of pure goodness gives one the ability to shine or radiate light. The conditioned reaction to fear, deny, repress and run from pain and search for pleasure signals the love we bear for self.

Deny thyself nothing, give self infinity and eternity and discover that you need nothing for you are beyond. - Nisagardatta Maharaj

Awaken to the energetic journey

Notice the idea of awakening is not real. Awakening is only someone else's experience unless the real thing happens in our lives. Those who simply overhear and repeat ideas emit different frequencies than those who act based on conscious awareness, true innate intelligence or direct knowing. Less-than-direct experience keeps us oscillating betweeen ego and heart rather than be integrated heart-mind. Our perception and experience shift based on our changing vibration. We see things as we are until we see them as they are- pure love energy. The physical, mental, emotional, intuitive and spiritual bodies are all on their own journey to align in harmony and stillness. We each determine the pace of our alchemical journey.

Shift focus and vibration

Notice what it feels like to accept this moment exactly as it is. It enriches awareness to see the impact of one's own split mind. Polarities co-exist and both require addressing. We cannot take credit for only the positive perceptions without also being responsible for the negative. Many egos and superegos co-exist with conflicting drives to act out tension, intention and attitudes. Delusion and fantasy feed a common urge to get rid of ego when neither ego/ supergo exist. Like: if "I" could only do this without feeling bad, it would be okay. False beliefs and restlessness persist when a robotic system is in charge. This drives one split self into many inner conflicts and postpones inner peace.

To the ego, what it wants is unattainable, yet it continues striving. Its real self that doesn't want any of that, is also unattainable. A depersonalisation process is the only way to be real. Ego must die for real self to emerge from behind the screen of projections. They take up space and most of our attention. Real self is empty background. The ego believes it is a real self in a real world and that time is real. Layers of illusion may have one feeling trapped.

To get beyond the Matrix (trap), the unreality of the ego belief system has to be completely dissolved. Only then can the vast emptiness be realized. Its not simply emptiness, but intelligence without narrative or preconceived ideas, without a context, paradigm, that shapes one's way of being. One must detach, distance self from everything until one knows one is nothing but pure presence. Only then can one fully engage and connect on a whole new level. Only then can unborn intelligence emerge to consciously operate the body without desire, fear, belief in a body or existence of an "external". All of this functions from the intelligence that is producing the illusion. Everything happens perfectly without glitches. Everything that arises in one's scope comes in perfect timing and sequence, to guide the unravelling.

Apparent glitches in the Matrix simply point to residue of samskara that produce a positive self image. One has to bring it into the nothingness so preconceptions no longer superimpose in your life that actually act instead of the real self. Complete reprogramming cannot arise in the mind. As Einstein says “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it."

On an energetic level, emotions play out in the first 3 assemblage points to give ego an identity, and safety valve for its otherwise explosive energies (often xpressed as "I will die or kill"). At the third assemblage point, energy can be harnessed into a more creative direction. Yet, this is only partial sublimation of intense energies. Unused energy is continually produced anf released. The first 3 assemblage points depend on "the other" and are never contented with 'oneself' or 'other.' Those energies must be released in dreams, art or negative actions.

As it is, only soul-level discernment brings recognition of the thinking capacity from a truly different point of awareness. You can think, feel and process reality, but when grounded in the first three assemblage points, you are engaging the imagination and not yet in the symbolic. They produce only emotional charges, reactions, desires, fears to act out, not capacity to sublimate consciousness to the source of the intellect and the ability to think clearly. Shifts in consciousness shift vibrational state of being and sense of reality.

Restlessness is a sign of transformation

Notice at the perfect moment, light penetrates like a catalyst to clarify what disconnects from all that is real and matters in heart. By affirming our dignity and allowing others theirs, we are able to honor ourselves, connect as equals, move forward with insight.

Earlier in life, I often heard myself saying things like;

"Everything happens for a reason"

"It was for the best"

"It was a blessing in disguise"

(all of which were relevant in context...)

In passing, such phrases sound optimistic and seem harmless. Yet, with maturity, I realized I had been taught to dismiss very real concerns and feelings worthy of considerable attention. People would cross my boundaries, be hurtful, or behave in ways that went against my core values or intuition and I would be overly tolerant and accepting or too easily forgiving. Making light of difficult situations was a superficial way of glossing over issues. This felt better in the short-term, but ultimately, it solved nothing and left hidden issues to linger. In fact, as I go down the rabbit hole, it appears I mastered the art of pretending things were fine when they were clearly not.

Part of my awakening has involved recognizing I would hide or avoid anger that deserved to be felt and expressed, Rather than working through hard emotions or confronting unresolved issues, I used to simply downplay or dismiss them. Believing traumatic events must serve as “learning experiences” or focusing on the silver lining behind every negative experience, did not allow me to experience the fullness of the wisdom they held. Assuming I had a handle on it was how I hid from insecurities. It was a clever way I pulled the wool over my eyes until I was ready to go deeper.

I went through stages where I was convinced spiritual practices I engage in are always positive. Feeling detached also came to mean I was not fully conscious or present. I was very good at focusing on the positive or being overly optimistic. Had no idea I was projecting negative feelings. At some stage, it dawned positive thinking is not the way to overcome problems. Facing shadows is far more effective. Rather than attempting to “rise above” emotions, I learned to feel, heal and move through them.

Pride is difficult to detect in ourselves because it is a refusal to admit wrong or see a need to change. As the light of our dignity shines more brightly, we realize that we don’t have to be perfect. Showing vulnerability and humility invites stronger connection. We move from the superficial into soul-level relationships. We grow approachable rather than seem intimidating. We don’t see ourselves as better or worse than anyone else. We are the same.

It is freeing to hold ourselves with the dignity that comes from simply being human. We don’t need to achieve “greatness” to have worth and value. Greatness is innate . We might be inclined to seek excellence because it feels meaningful, energizing and expansive, but not because it defines who we are.

It dawns pride that drives us at certain stages of life prevents us from acknowledging our human vulnerabilities. When driven by shame or illusion of inferiority, its uncomfortable to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, I made a mistake.” When pride rules, we believe we’re always right or we fear backing down. This makes it difficult to know and sustain intimacy.

A self-centred culture teaches we must achieve self-actualization (enlightenment) to be truly happy. This quest also contributes to a tendency to avoid difficult or painful emotions. Rather than trying to solve problems in environments that cause suffering, self-centred culture teaches people that they alone are responsible for their destiny. At certain stages, maybe you relate?

What stands out is that negative thoughts and feelings serve a purpose. They do not exist so we avoid them. Rather, they point to a diminshed self image, deep hurt, sadness and that emotions that require acceptance and validation. Negative thoughts exist so we use those thoughts to propel positive actions. Simply putting on rose-colored glasses and ignoring deeper issues does not make them go away. Choosing instead to forge friendships, look people directly in the eye, be candid and share vulnerability, are keys to being more assertive, self-loving and decisive when it counts.

Ultimately, discomfort is a soul-level sign that something is not right and needs to change. If you think you lessen discomfort by simply avoiding it, or normalizing abnormal behaviour, situations causing distress will remain. Yet, to recognize the nature of our unconscious behaviours, is to see restlessness is itself a sign of our ongoing quantum transformation. We are catching up with the light.

Shift to reclaim Inner Power

Notice true power arises from within and waits on us to unleash it. We access inner power through self-awareness, conscious intention, speaking our truth, pure desire to uplift others and the self. Tapping into our inner power requires making purposeful choices to direct our thoughts, emotions, behaviors and access higher vibrations. Pursuing external power weakens our inner power since it requires external approval or validation. Many of us do this. This is why we must shift focus to “reclaim inner power.”

Reclaiming inner power is about being present, withdrawing consciousness (attention) from what does not resonate with our frequency and acting to continue raising consciousness. This is continuously choosing mindsets, behaviors, and emotions that guide us to walk in love and trust versus fear and doubt. Its like, choosing to give versus take, to surrender rather than to worry. Choose to ground in higher vibrations that emit signals of peace and contentment. This guides one towards the highest version of self. It dawns we each walk in full power when we own and use our gifts in different situations to benefit our collective humanity.

Reclaiming our power also implies not suppressing feelings. Its about creating boundaries to build a sense of safety and see from another's point of view. When we give ourselves space and solitude, soul flourishes.

If you feel triggered, insecure, or mistreated/ betrayed, whether it's really another person treats you that way or it doesn't matter: you feel betrayed and you can no longer receive love or connect; The innate desire to be seen, heard, valued cannot be felt if you hide behind a shield. As you discover innate security, it dawns negative feelings are only triggered and they guide us to deeper truth.

Feeling complete in yourself implies you are not dependent on another and already tune into and live your own truth. You no longer need external validation or acceptance yourself as you are. Relationships truly enrich us from the moment we recognize we are the ultimate source of all we need. This is the path to codependence no more. All experience enriches our journey of awareness.