Notice loving yourself first brings greater clarity and fulfillment on a wider scale. "Who am I" who is able to give love? Am I giving it or, simply wanting to receive it? And is this about love or wanting to be desired, accepted, valued, heard? Love and desire are not the same. In this context, to be loved (desired) one day could lead to being rejected another day. Desire is then, not a stable form of emotional energy. Is my desire truly "love" for another or a subtle attempt to control and possess and take away their freedom or potential for growth? Does the free offer of love grow into an unconscious demand based on set of conditions? Is love then selfish or selfless? Is love based on fear, perceived lack and assumed instability without the other? Its amidst the chaos of internal self conflict that the impossibility of certain love is recognized. Related relationships end. This revelation evokes misery, despair, sense of where to from here? The very structure of collective ego is in a state of fragmentation. The only way out of the quagmire is through- to feel and return to Source, focus on love power that is ever present and accessible, alongside the courage to let go of the unreal.Ego's ideas of love can justify regressing to childish behaviour. To move out of the energy of a codepedent struggle, mental-emotional imprisonment of the other, the key is to recognize true love is about letting go not clinging or holding on. When the other flies, and detaches emotionally, ego is abandonned. True love is seen as it is. Only love of pure goodness gives one the ability to shine or radiate light. The conditioned reaction to fear, deny, repress and run from pain and search for pleasure signals the love we bear for self.
Deny thyself nothing, give self infinity and eternity and discover that you need nothing for you are beyond. - Nisagardatta Maharaj