The Wisdom of Presence

Notice where anger exists, pain or hurt lingers underneath. To be aware of this implies we no longer completely identify with it. If impatience arises, if we focus on or get worked up, overwhelmed about the next series of things, we are lost in continuous doing. Stress is the sense of feeling lost between now and later. Its common to feel lost in this gap in time or space. This dysfunction is amplified by technology which conditions people to focus on the illusion of "then." If we get uncentred, we get lost in thinking which underlies doing. This means we are lost in thought. Many thoughts hijack our attention to deny, devalue, disregard, reduce the present moment to a means to an end. How often are we taught the present moment is an obstacle to overcome? This revelation is a stepping stone to being here now- transcendence.

Navigate through what arises

Notice anger and discontent arise. Yet, conditioning teaches us to fear expressing truth, to resist sharing feelings, and to believe expressing anything other than calmness or happiness is bad or wrong. Even within yoga or spiritual circles, emotions that don’t echo only peace, love, gratitude, and joy are often judged as out of place.

Truth is, dishonesty about the ups and downs of life is insincerity. To say one thing directly and yet, express different feelings behind the scenes, suggests what we think, say and feel are incongruent.

Inner well-being comes from the connection and harmony between our inner life and the outer world. As we live from soul, our thoughts, feelings and action naturally align. When something does not feel right, imbalance plays out in our lives to guide us in new directions.

Assuming we must always be happy may misinterpret the sutras, yamas, and niyamas. After all, true transformation involves bringing discomfort to the surface, being honest with ourselves as part of accepting and integrating everything. This is the path to embody wholeness. Each instance we are not open with others, tells us we are not open and honest with ourselves in ways we do not yet recognize. This process of opening the heart to cracks is necessary to guide one into the vibration of true peace and contentment.

Why is it that we tend to overlook mental-emotional afflictions? How is it helpful to run from ourselves? We can only do so for so long. Our emotions or instincts arise as our buttons are being pushed, causing a negative reaction instead of a positive action. It brings us face-to-face with another side of duality before going beyond.

Triggers invite us to face our shadows, to let go of harmful behavioral patterns. Through the lens of svadhyaya, or self-study, we can see shortcomings otherwise invisible to us. The journey inward is a way to dismantle why we react to certain people and ideas, and it helps us explore new directions.

Yoga is about raising awareness. As we grow more aware of our humanity, we naturally feel more comfortable expressing it. Maybe we get angry, frustrated, or upset sometimes because we practice something that stretches us to new levels of awareness and acceptance of who we are. What enters our scope of experience is always the perfect tool to navigate what arises to guide soul growth. We are like invisible air that takes shape through wind, moving clouds and swaying trees and then, blows away.

See beyond the Intolerable

Notice healthy transcendence is neither a flight nor severing nor disconnection from lower 'uncomfortable' things and qualities. Rather, its a going beyond that does not exclude them. It is a kind of innate, receiving, decoding and streamlining of energy. As situations or feelings grow more noticable and/or intolerable, it dawns the urge to escape does not always serve us. Radical inclusion enables our expansion both horizontally and vertically, to integrate a certain quality while at the same time, not identifying with it. Its about seeing value in what was resisted or initially disregarded. This is the art of separation and simultaneous connection. Both coexist and function in divine resonance. A journey to accepting and activating all facets of True Being involves recognizing and working through all we are conditioned to judge and push away. Denial or suppression of anger is common. Anger that arises invites engaging in that angry part of ourself. Its about being inclusive, allowing energy to flow without allowing it to overcome us. To deny intense or difficult feelings prevents creating an in-depth relationship with them, keeps us fragmented and unable to embody genuine wholeness. Instead, staying close to what is being transcended allows us to know it well, and stay just far enough away to see it clearly, to bring it into lucid focus. Transcending certain energies does not mean we know longer experience them. We simply energetically reposition it within rather than identify with or get triggered by it. This is a powerful insight that triggers shifts into expanding consciousness. Stay focused on this Road to self-mastery. Awarness allows calm abiding.

Grow beyond blind compassion

(Image: Sacred geometry 792 by Endre Balogh)

Notice the importance of allowing all things to serve our awakening. When we are offended by behaviour or actions, if we are always completely non-judgemental, or at least, resist expressing true feelings or saying anything that could be seen as judgemental, we may be doing a disservice to ourselves and those who offend us. For, in not doing what we can to bring people face-to-face with the consequences of their actions, we are actually depriving them of Soul growth. Further, in letting them off the hook, we are doing the same for ourselves. As an analogy, by not allowing a butterfly to struggle its own way out of a coccoon, it emerges weak. Metamophosis is supposed to be difficult to build resilience, trust, discernment. Butterflies need a surface they can climb and hang from so their wings can expand properly. This is why they emerge in phases, building strength, confidence, energy at every stage. Similarly, certain kinds of compassion may hide misguided tolerance and aversion to confrontation, as well as avoidance of pain and anger that exist to facilitate human Soul growth. Although its helpful to examine how judgement of others can reflect our own shadows or invite us to self-examine, build our discernment a focus on self alone is misguided. Blind compassion for others can arise as a tool of survival learned during childhood. Recognizing our own patterns and changing our behaviour not only empowers us, but also nudges others to do what they exist to do. To cut to the chase, at some point, we would have to not only feel the pain of what we suffered but also feel its consequences later in life, and many of us resist that, even when we see value in doing so. At the perfect moment, it dawns that suppressing the hurt we were suffering often made things worse. Being solely compassionate about behaviour that evokes discomfort keeps us 'safely' removed both from standing up for ourselves and the consequences. Yet, if we do not russle feathers, make a fuss or contront anyone, it robs us of our autonomy and accountability, implying we do not have a choice when we do. To confront someone with fierce compassion (express true emotions) has another impact. If we hurry too fast to forgive, we skip the process that leads to authentic forgiveness, feeling our hurt, expressing our needs and navigating conflict. As we shed our blinders and see our pain clearly, our anger, hurt, frustration, moral outrage, we re-enter a realm of love that had been closed off from which we can now freely give and receive. As we welcome struggles and challenges, strive for nobel and lofty goals, we are connecting and expanding our Soul in ways beyond the wildest imagination

4 Steps to own disowned anger

During childhood, sometimes certain of our behaviours are judged as unacceptable.  As the result, we are conditioned to fear the consequences of re-enacting them.  Deep down, we develop core beliefs that certain natural responses are bad, wrong or dangerous, and we banish or repress emotions we judge in ourselves rather than allow them to flow. 

If tense muscles and recurrent discomfort in different parts of the body are familliar, there may be more to this than initially imagined.  As we grow more conscious and search through our feelings, it hits anything we attempt to hide or disown in our subconscious silently drives the dynamics of our present. Reflect on 4 steps to begin owning disowned anger:

1. Accept feeling anger is okay  

Some kids are taught anger and negative emotions are bad and to be avoided. We disown emotions as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from harm or backlash.  Anger may be something we hide from or, it may be a healthy part. Anger is a very common disowned part and deserves attention like all emotions.

2. Recognize the implications

If we disown our anger (or another part of ourselves), it helps to know why we do this as well as the implications.  In the case of disowned anger,  we may also lack assertiveness.Our strength (healthy aggression) also gets disowned along with anger. We may feel unheard in areas of our lives, belittled, not taken seriously, may be perceived as passive, pleasing, self-effacing, or lacking in self-confidence and drive. 

3. Validate all emotions

As we validate all emotions, express them when we feel them, this helps accept anger or another part of us that has been disowned.  We make ourselves what we are.  When we love all parts of ourselves, we believe in ourselves and other people naturally believe in, hear and validate us.  Self-validation is a step to allowing ourselves to change, blossom and share more of our gifts with perfect timing.

4. Develop healthy ways to express intense energy

The more allow ourselves to express intense energy in healthy ways like tantrums, the more we speak our truth, stand up for ourselves in the moment, the more we stand in our power. This involves creating healthy boundaries. The ability to be firm, take risks, be grounded, allows us to feel more alive. As we express how we feel, our inner strength is activated.  Thus, anger rarely arises because we call on our healthy sense of power, forcefulness, and set limits to handle situations. It hits we can be strong and assertive without frightening or harming others.