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Entries in fear (154)

Sunday
Nov242024

The Key to Everything

Notice as we accept the unknown with grace, and feel blessed by whatever it brings, we accept and integrate what had previously shaken us up. Reasons to complain fade. Fear dissolves. Many rainbow paths remain. We are the Way.

Sunday
Nov122023

13 Situations where we ought to speak up

(Image: Human Energy Field- visionary art by Alex Grey)

Many people have heard phrases like “Silence is golden” and “Silence speaks louder than words.” And yet, situations also arise when not speaking up is not in our best interest and can also be detrimental to others.

This article invites reflection on 13 situations that invite us to recognize speaking up is important, desirable and in the interest of the greater good.  Knowing the best course is about learning to tune into our vibration and watch signs and signals within us. May this inspire each of us to step back and review what can feel like tricky situations. Self-mastery involves systematically mastering our fears. 

1) When we witness injustice

When we see someone is treated unfairly or unjustly, we ought to know deep down silence is not an option.  Whether it’s at work, in public, or even among friends, standing by and doing nothing makes us complicit in the injustice.  It takes courage to speak up, especially if the person acting unjustly is a partner, family member or perceived authority.  We each matter. What we say matters. Validating others and their rights is like validating ourselves.  Candidly sharing can inspire others to also listen to their gut and say what they feel.

2) When our boundaries are being crossed

Moments arise when people, intentionally or unintentionally, cross our boundaries or those around us.  It might be through words, actions or even invading personal space. Many people know what it is to stay silent, thinking they don’t want to create a scene or get on someone’s bad side.  Yet, I’ve come to realize my peace of mind is paramount.  Respecting myself not only alleviates discomfort.  It also ensures my boundaries are respected. Yet for my boundaries to be respected, I must first clearly define them.

3) When something is unclear

Many people seek clarity.  At the same time, they may act as if they know or understand things they do not.  I’ve been in meetings and personal situations when what’s being discussed is confusing or unclear.  It’s easy to feel embarrassed and just nod along, pretending to understand. Yet, I’ve found that asking for clarification shows courage, open-mindedness, and willingness to learn.  That does not necessarily mean I always get clear on everything, Yet, If we say nothing, we stay in the dark. Instead, make room to let light in.

4) When our health is at stake

Well-being is a given yet how we experience health in the body, varies.  True health and balance depend on being in harmony with our soul.  Life experience has taught me to tune into the heart for guidance.   Although self-care may be effective and beneficial at times, there are situations where I speak up and reach for external expertise. In health matters, silence is not an option.  If I have a serious physical wound that is bleeding, or require surgery, I get things properly treated. I am open to discussing symptoms with specific practitioners,  expressing discomfort to a fitness instructor or friends who relate.  It’s easy to ignore signs until that no longer resonates with conscious living.  

5) When our values are compromised

Certain situations arise that challenge our sense of taboo or compromise of our values.  Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or even casual interactions, I’ve been in situations that turn out not to align with my core values.  Tempting as it might be to keep silent to maintain peace or avoid conflict, I’ve learned that this can lead to regret and resentment.  As the way I live my life is my message, I work toward transparency to encourage others to work though their own layers of unconscious dishonesty. Hence, it’s crucial for me to shift situations when my values are disrespected, standing firm in my convictions while also promoting understanding.

6) When we feel unsafe

Safety is a tricky one. This may seem obvious but it is not. Earlier in life, I found myself in situations in school, workplaces and elsewhere where I was bullied and due to fear of authority, injury, or undesirable consequences, I chose not to speak up when I felt unsafe.  Fear of safety led me to allow others to exert power over me.  Of course, we are generally taught not to put ourselves in harm's way.  Yet the mind can interfere. As we grow in wisdom and maturity, this allows seeing things from new perspectives.  I am systematically working through this and empower others to do so. It helps to take the personal out of situations, to reflect on universal principles and make decisions based on what is for the greater good not based on what ego would have us do or not do.

7) When someone we care about is hurting

During our life journeys, we encounter situations where people we care for deeply are going through a tough time, mentally, emotionally, physically, perhaps living with the memory of having done something they regret. If we truly see this, feels it, we are aware of it, both the inward sorrow, as well as the outward sorrow. Then, only one option exists-we must respond, one has to solve it, one can't just sit by and do nothing.  Of course, it may be  tempting to remain silent, assuming they need space or fearing that we might say the wrong thing.  However, I’ve discovered that reaching out and expressing concern and support can make a difference.  It’s not about proposing ot solve their problems. it’s about reminding them they’re not alone.   Sometimes, it is reassuring to feel supported.  At the same time, its also important to recognize we are not responsible for the choices other people make or do not make. 

8) When we are hurting

To feel is what makes us human. Pain is physical, suffering is mental.  Self-worth can be affected. At times, I’ve chosen to keep difficult feelings to myself.  I’ve put up a facade, pretending I could handle it all.  But I’ve learned that silence can amplify my suffering.  Being honest about my feelings, reaching out for help when it feels right, has been one of the hardest yet most liberating things I’ve done.  Turns out, vulnerability is strength. In some situations, to admit that we not okay is a big step towards deep healing.

9) When our ideas can make a difference

Some of the biggest innovations have come from unexpected ideas?  For instance, the idea for the Post-It notes came from a 3M engineer who thought of using a weak adhesive for bookmarks.  To doodle or generate ideas invites brainstorning and expanding on what inspires us.  Our ideas could be the next big thing, or might resolve a situation that’s been bothering loads of people.  Remember, thought and the courage to voice it is what changes our reality.  

10) When we are treated unfairly

Discrimination and other mistreatment are more widespread than often realized. I recall a period in my life when I was working for a few different employers who had favorites and exploited me.  It wasn’t initially overt, but the subtle biases were felt.  I was often overlooked for opportunities for which I was just as qualified. In some cases, I was underpaid for my work.   At first, I brushed it off, thinking it was all in my head. But as time passed, the pattern grew more evident.  It took courage, but I finally voiced my concerns.  Those employers did not always see the same way as I did.  I was let go in one case and threatened by others. Things didn’t change immediately.  Yet, I began to see a shift in myself which led me to create situations where I was treated well.  The lesson here is, if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, don’t suffer in silence.  We deserve to be heard and treated with respect. Life is a mirror for how we treat ourselves.

11) When silence hurts more than words

We’ve all had moments in our lives when we chose silence, hoping it would save us from confrontation or pain.  But sometimes, silence hurts more than words.  I remember a time when I had a falling out with a friend. Instead of talking it out, we both chose silence. As days turned into a longer period, the distance grew. It took a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to finally break the silence and mend the friendship.

12) When dreams are guiding us

The more we develop drem recall and explore possible meanings in our dreams, the clearer it is we are often giving ourselves soul-level guidance from about how to manage situations in the physical world.   Exploring dream recall tips and writing down what we remember is a helpful way forward.

13) When you experience (or witness) a conflict of interest

Conflicts of interest happen when people acting in professional roles of authority as well as in personal roles that compromise our position and vulnerability.  For example, its unwise (and unethical) to get romantically involved with our boss or a anyone who exercises authority over us. Its also not in our best interest to share deeply intimate details of a colleague or co-worker who could take advantage of that information. This is about creating or reinforcing boundaries.

In closing, if you’re in a situation where silence is causing more damage than good, it’s time to speak up. The words might be hard to say but remember, healing starts with a conversation.

Saturday
Oct142023

Dream Analysis of the Week- Rats & Relationships

Dream:

My dream was in my old bedroom at my childhood home. My sister was in bed beside me. I was scared of rats getting into the room. I thought they would come thru the skirting boards. My uncle came in checking everything was secure. He could find evidence that they were trying to get in. There were people from work in the room ensuring me that there was no way they could get in. They even pulled up the carpet to show me no holes. I kept looking at the closet thinking they’ll get in thru there. But I look at the floor in the closet and it looked secure. I was terrified. My sister took out a notebook and was adding up sums. She showed me how long I had left to live. I didn’t know why she was showing me this. It was all mathematical calculations.

Insight:

Why fear boredom? it's good when it enters your life. Boredom is a transitional state, a stepping-stone to the next stage of personal growth. If you understand its wisdom, you can use it to fuel self-reflection or spark your creativity or take life in new directions.

Are you "skirting?" Unable to advance specific interests? "To smell a rat" suggests you are convinced someone is trying to deceive you.  Even if you do not initially see proof of this, to focus on negative thoughts can invite in what you do not want.  Are you making something out of nothing? What happens if you pay no attention to bothersome thoughts?  The mind may be playing tricks.  You only experience what aligns with vibrations of love or fear. 

It appears you crave a sense of security, while your current experience echoes you feel unsafe and insecure.  The floor is like the foundation of your beliefs. You may question the basis of your trust. A carpet often echoes sense of warmth, comfort. Notice if you continue to doubt,  then contentment will continue to elude you.

If your "biological clock" is ticking or you feel time is running out to have a family, its not up to others to decide or impose their ideas of what is right for you and when.  Any hole is a two-edged sword: it reminds you that you are whole and complete with or without offspring.  The hole may also echo empliness you feel or low self esteem if you would like to hide your head in a hole. Don't be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, hoping your problems will disappear. Facing, reframing them, is far more effective.

The bedroom is symbolic of the heart. If you close off the heart, fear being vulnerable, it is not open and cannot let anyone in to create a reliable friendship or romantic relationship. Confusion about unresolved feelings, or desire for intimacy suggest you are in process of tapping into and integrating lost childhood memories.  Get intimate with yourself,.  True intimacy in the external follows.

We all have different relationships with our siblings, or sister, from close to distant relationships.  Review your relationship with your sister. How is this changing or how has it changed? How would you like it to change? Do you feel she interferes in your affairs? Do you trust or question her advice? Have reason to trust or distrust?

A dream about your sister (that you do not have a relationship with) may signal your longing for connection and union.  Turns out, in the Bible Proverbs 7:4, it states a foolish woman "does not stay at home". This is sometimes interpreted as a sister who is causing trouble within the family.  One who causes trouble for family may also disrupt your life. Dream dialogue with older sisters sometimes points to our deep-seated desires for reliable advice and unvoiced concerns that go though our mind. We can be the sister we are seeking and see if this mirrors back.  We have opportunity to create a new kind of dialogue. Remind yourself it takes two to tango. How are you growing in her midst? How does she benefit? Does it teach you about avoidance or connection? Or is dialogue strained or non-existent?

We dream of extended family members when we are transitioning away from the expectations or influences of the immediate family. The uncle can represent a new way of going out into the world to provide for ourselves. At the same time, the word 'uncle' is associated with giving in (to "what" & with whom?- meditate).

We offer Dream Consultations on single and multipl dreams as individual sessions or a tool as part of integrative  psychotherapy. We also offer an Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga Course.  Contact us for details.

Friday
Oct062023

Dream Analysis of the Week- Perfume on the bed

Dream:

My dream was the bottle of perfume sitting in the middle of my bed. I’m terrified when I see it. I run to the door of bedroom to get out put the door is locked. I can’t get out. I feel trapped. I keep looking back at the bed and seeing the perfume and saying how can I be scared of that?

Insight

We generate dreams in different vibrations or vibrational bands. The physical body creates its own dreams. If your stomach is upset, a particular type of dream is created. If you are unhealthy, feverish, the physical body creates a related dream. If you are uneasy at all, one thing is clear: the dream is created out of some dis-ease. 

Physical discomfort, creates its own realm of dreams, so a physical dream can even be stimulated from the outside while you are sleeping. Reflect on perfume traits (aromas) and details like shape and details of bottle.  Its possible an object in your midst triggers you.  This comes through the physical body during dreams.  Pay attention to body language and emotions here.

Beds invite us to recharge our batteries, reflect on our feelings and experiences with intimacy.  If its an unfamiliar 'dream' bedroom, may also refer to a sexual awakening. Having second thoughts? Perhaps its not the perfume that scares u but romantic attention it echoes you fear losing or fears of vulnerability, relationship evolution? If so, stop putting pressure on yourself.  Shift focus to quality time.

Perfume, as a dream symbol, tends to refer to our personal life. Its often a sign that when we wake up, we would benefit from engaging in the world more naturally and fearlessly. You need to understand what it means to smell your way through life. Which images/ sensations does perfume scent evoke? Any smell out of place?

Dreams about being trapped are a culmination of your emotions about current life events and your fears for the future. You're feeling trapped physically or emotionally, and your subconscious mind is attempting drills to help you get unstuck. Many ways exist to rewire the brain for joy  You hold the key to any locks you encounter.

In a nutshell: what stands out is possible fear of commitment, fear of things working out well, fear of allowing love to unfold next level.  Conditioned mind wanders to future 'what ifs'. Dream invites you to focus on the present. Sometimes the vibration of joy can startle or overwhelm when not used to it. 

We offer detailed Dream Consultations for single and multiple dreams.  We also offer an Astral, Lucid and Dream Yoga course.  Contact us for more information.

Monday
Oct022023

Dream Analysis of the Week- Destruction Series

Dream Series:

In the first vivid dream, I see my husband abandoning me for someone else.  I feel the deepest pain.

In the second dream, i see from high above the great wave of water coming on the town. I think how to help when water is already flooding everything. My view is far higher than some high building/mountain looking down.

In the third dream, the vision of some kind of construct. On the both sides they were like flat Earth planes and than many planets on both sides and something in between.This middle space i cannot recall. 

Insight:

In a nutshell, the theme of separation is presented in examples on personal, planetary and cosmic levels.  At each level, the perspective is from a different level of the Sun- the inner sun or sacred heart, the cosmic sun and galactic sun.  At each level, resistance presents to change.   Moving through 5 key wounds (rejection, abandonment, humiliation, injustice, betrayal) and healing is the path to love, acceptance, wholeness. The god Shiva is to be united with Shakti.  Life or Earth re-balances or recalibrates. Peace arises at each level. 

The body-mind complex (pindanda) means microcosm while the word Brahmanda means macrocosm. We often hear the phrase, 'whatever is there in the microcosm is also there in the macrocosm'.

Another way of seeing here reminds us all humans have centres of energy also called Chakras. An Yogi can by mantra japa pierce these Chakras in the sushumna nadi inside his spine. The question is how does an Yogi benefit from piercing these Chakras. Well, turns out that these Chakras in the human body-mind complex (pindanda) have their correspondence in the cosmic Lokas or planes. As the Yogi ascends chakra by chakra, he passes through the corresponding Lokas. Sir John Woodroffe in his book, 'The Serpent Power', presents the following table that shows the correspondence:

  • Muladhara Bhuvarloka
  • Svadhisthana Svarloka
  • Manipura Maharloka
  • Anahata Janaloka
  • Visuddhi TapalokaAjna Satya or Brahm
  • aloka (One who attains to Sahasrara goes beyond all Lokas.)

Turns out, 'whatever is in the macrocosm is in the microcosm' is not seen as scientific truth. We are not made of dark matter or dark energy. What surprises a Yogi as he keeps piercing each chakra is that the human being is built similar to the plan of the universe or the cosmos. This is why the Yogi by leading his shakti to each Chakra can access the equivalent loka of the 14-loka universe. There is no way a priori that any body could have predicted that. This similarity of the microcosm with the macrocosm at the deepest level is the surprise. Just as the universe is built of 14-lokas or planes, so are we. Whatever we have is also there in the universe.

We offer detailed Dream Consultations on single and multiple dreams and we also offer an Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga course.  Contact us.