5 Key Soul Messages

Many people are taught to evade discomfort, or that moving away from hardship is always the best course. Yet, is it? Consider this story:

Two men visit a Zen master. The first man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?” The Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?” The first man responds: “Dreadful. Everyone was hateful. I hated it.” The Zen master says: “This town is very much the same. I don’t think you should move here.”

The first man leaves and the second man arrives. The second man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?” The Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?” The second man responds: “It was wonderful. Everyone was friendly and I was happy. Just interested in a change now.”
The Zen master says: “This town is very much the same. I think you will like it here.”

One view of this story relates to karma (the Law of Cause and Effect). It echoes that whatever happens stems from our actions. We may travel far and wide in the hopes of escaping a life we disliked. Turns out that we are the common thread. That is, how we feel about ourselves is with us wherever we go.

Another view of this Zen story is that discomfort or moving away from difficult situations may offer short-term relief, but often prevents the deep growth and integration that such challenges are designed to catalyze. Consider 5 Key Soul Messages:

1. Discomfort is a Messenger
Difficult emotions — grief, rage, shame, fear — are not enemies. They are signals from the soul, pointing to unmet needs, unhealed wounds, or inner misalignments. When we avoid them, we silence our internal guidance system and miss the deeper message encoded in the pain or suffering.

2. What We Resist, Persists
Unresolved trauma or avoidance of conflict doesn't disappear—it gets stored in the body, nervous system, and energy field. It tends to resurface in different forms: new relationships, repeated patterns, or even physical illness. The soul repeats lessons until we consciously engage.

3. True Freedom Requires Integration
Freedom isn’t escape; it’s the capacity to remain present with discomfort. Facing the fire allows us to alchemize pain into wisdom, fear into clarity. Avoidance may feel like protection, but it often prolongs the suffering.

4. Initiation Requires Ordeal
Ancient sages echo that discomfort is the portal to transformation. The dark night, the betrayal, the collapse— brings greater consciousness. By staying present in the challenge, we gain resilience, awareness, and spiritual maturity.

5. Our Presence Is the Healing Agent
Sometimes we are placed in challenging situations not just for our healing, but to bring light to the collective field. By staying—consciously, not passively—we become a stabilizing force, a living transmission of courage and wholeness.

In short, while discernment is essential (not every situation must be endured), evading discomfort as a default strategy cuts us off from our soul evolution.

Top 50 Fears (based on our reader survey)

A recent reader survey revealed a list of the top 50 fears. Reflect on whether you relate to any here or add a comment about your own experience. Which fears do you overcome and which still linger?

1. Fear of death-or even discussing it (Thanatophobia)

2. Fear of Failure (Atychiphobia) & Fear of Success (Achievemephobia)

3. Fear of insects (Entomophobia) and spiders (Arachnophobia)  

4. Fear of snakes (Ophidiophobia)

5. Fear of enclosed spaces (Clausterphobia)

6. Fear of thunder and lightning (Astraphobia)

7. Fear of sex (Erotophobia) and intimacy (Aphenphosmphobia)

8. Fear of Flying (Aerophobia)

9. Fear of public speaking (Glassophibia)

10. Fear of solitude (Monophobia)

11. Fear of crowds (Enochlophobia)

12. Fear of needles (Trypanophobia)

13. Fear of people (Anthropophobia)

14. Fear of water or being near it (Aquaphobia) 

15. Fear of Abandonnment (Autophobia)

16. Fear of blood or sight of it (Hematophobia)

17. Fear of commitment or 'sticking it out' (Gamophobia)

18. Fear of the unknown (Xenophobia)

19. Fear of falling (Basiphobia)

20. Fear of God (Theophobia)

21. Fear of cats (Ailurophobia)

22. Fear of change or transformation (Metathesiophobia)

23. Fear of the dark (Nyctophobia)

24. Fear of men (Androphobia) or Fear of women (Gynophobia)-*often unresolved mother issues

25. Fear of  falling in Love or losing inhibitions (Philophoba)

26.  Fear of sharks, the ocean or pools (Galeophobia)

27. Fear of #13 or belief in bad luck to follow (Triskaldekaphobia)

28. Fear of vomiting and loss of self-control (Emetophobia)

29. Fear of Everything or that terrible things are coming (Panophobia)

30. Fear of Animals (Zoophobia)

31. Fear of Crime, Burglars or Attackers (Sclerophobia)

32. Fear of Pain (Agliophobia) and fear of suffering (Algophobia)

33. Fear of Mice (Musophobia)

34. Fear of Ghosts (Phamophobia)

35. Fear of Aging (Gerascophobia)

36. Fear of Sleep or what might happen as you sleep (Somniphobia)

37. Fear of Fire (Pyrophobia)

38. Fear of forgetting or not remembering (Athazagoraphobia)

39. Fear of Horses (Equinophobia)

40. Fear of Loud Noises (Ligyirophobia)

41. Fear of work (Ergophobia)

42. Fear of being buried alive (Taphophobia)

43. Fear of Cockroaches or filth (Katsaridophobia)

44. Fear of Food (Cibophobia)

45. Fear of bees (Apiphobia) and wasps (Spheksophobia)

46. Fear of Judgement (Social Phobia)

47. Fear of getting rid of stuff (Disposophobia)

48. Fear of hearing other's opinons of you (Allodoxaphobia)

49. Fear of Superstitions (Triskaidekaphobia)

50. Fear of Feet (Podophobia)

Stop bullying yourself with Mind

The most effective way to stop your mind from being a bully, to stop tormenting you, from being the source of your suffering, is through disidentifying with it. Simply come to recognize it is not who you are.

The ego mind isn’t you. But, it isn’t your enemy either.  It exists to keep you safe. Whenever ego mind insults, doubts, is unsupportive, this is not echoing low self-worth, belief you are not enough. Ego is simply threatened by something you do. The only way to make peace with ego mind is to realize full potential.  This is rising above or going beyond its limiited sense of reality. Allow true Self to take charge. To see through the tormenter is to be aware beyond this ego mind. It only exists to help you grow out of it.

As long as ego mind is in control, suffering occurs. The ego does not align with true Self. Ego mind is not interested in love, happiness, joy, peace.  Ego is a constant problem-solver to help body and ego survive.  Yet, its survival tactics are not always needed. All the resistance, anxiety, self-doubt, self-condemnation and negativity don’t determine what we can or cannot achieve.  Mind cannot intimidate us without our own consent.

We are taught to mistake ego mind’s desperate attempts to be heard for who we are.  What is the best course? Come to recognize the voice of ego mind and learn to ignore it.  See ego mind as a gift.  Be gentle with yourself.  Re-training the mind to be positive and kind is not the answer. We cannot force ego mind to forget its evolutionary programming. Instead, use ego as a useful tool and move on.

Rather than allow ego to gather momentum, be the witness. View ego as a facade. Distance from its never-ending stream of repetitive, automated, thought patterns. Shift into the voice of our true Self, the naturally supportive, loving and accepting core of who you are.

The Wisdom of Presence

Notice where anger exists, pain or hurt lingers underneath. To be aware of this implies we no longer completely identify with it. If impatience arises, if we focus on or get worked up, overwhelmed about the next series of things, we are lost in continuous doing. Stress is the sense of feeling lost between now and later. Its common to feel lost in this gap in time or space. This dysfunction is amplified by technology which conditions people to focus on the illusion of "then." If we get uncentred, we get lost in thinking which underlies doing. This means we are lost in thought. Many thoughts hijack our attention to deny, devalue, disregard, reduce the present moment to a means to an end. How often are we taught the present moment is an obstacle to overcome? This revelation is a stepping stone to being here now- transcendence.

Astonish Yourself

Notice the deeper we go within into the nature of our pain and suffering, the more astonished we are to find nothing but Love. To find no-thing, is to see fear is illusion. Our intrinsic value is felt in nothingness. This is not a vacuum or a void. Turns out, the black hole is the portal or gateway to recall and unleash our limitless potential. The loudest voice arises in the natural state of silence.

Every emotion arising in us points to our own projected reality, not to anything independent of our own mind. The most startling revelations empower us to activate and live in higher awareness.

Everything that seems to be happening to us is only appearing on the screen of our own consciousness. To know this is to fear nothing, know we are in essence, untouchable. As reality is observed through this lens, it dawns that suffering is a catalyst to deepen our own humility, compassion, quiet grace and dignity.

Freedom arises as external acceptance no longer matters. We find relief from the mind as we see through our pain, stop making choices to make others comfortable. Transmutation evokes feeling uneasy, but falling apart is a stage of awakening to our own beauty. Pain is physical and suffering is mental. Each is a teacher guiding us to find comfort in our vulnerabilty and live wholeheartedly.

The secret is to love ourselves fully as we are right now, instead of loving the idea of other people loving a different version of us. Come what may, truth is, we deserve self-love, the understanding we are worthy of our own self-respect. Inner strength and resilience grow as we consciously realize the truth for ourselves in practice. Let go.