Stop bullying yourself with Mind

The most effective way to stop your mind from being a bully, to stop tormenting you, from being the source of your suffering, is through disidentifying with it. Simply come to recognize it is not who you are.

The ego mind isn’t you. But, it isn’t your enemy either.  It exists to keep you safe. Whenever ego mind insults, doubts, is unsupportive, this is not echoing low self-worth, belief you are not enough. Ego is simply threatened by something you do. The only way to make peace with ego mind is to realize full potential.  This is rising above or going beyond its limiited sense of reality. Allow true Self to take charge. To see through the tormenter is to be aware beyond this ego mind. It only exists to help you grow out of it.

As long as ego mind is in control, suffering occurs. The ego does not align with true Self. Ego mind is not interested in love, happiness, joy, peace.  Ego is a constant problem-solver to help body and ego survive.  Yet, its survival tactics are not always needed. All the resistance, anxiety, self-doubt, self-condemnation and negativity don’t determine what we can or cannot achieve.  Mind cannot intimidate us without our own consent.

We are taught to mistake ego mind’s desperate attempts to be heard for who we are.  What is the best course? Come to recognize the voice of ego mind and learn to ignore it.  See ego mind as a gift.  Be gentle with yourself.  Re-training the mind to be positive and kind is not the answer. We cannot force ego mind to forget its evolutionary programming. Instead, use ego as a useful tool and move on.

Rather than allow ego to gather momentum, be the witness. View ego as a facade. Distance from its never-ending stream of repetitive, automated, thought patterns. Shift into the voice of our true Self, the naturally supportive, loving and accepting core of who you are.

The Wisdom of Presence

Notice where anger exists, pain or hurt lingers underneath. To be aware of this implies we no longer completely identify with it. If impatience arises, if we focus on or get worked up, overwhelmed about the next series of things, we are lost in continuous doing. Stress is the sense of feeling lost between now and later. Its common to feel lost in this gap in time or space. This dysfunction is amplified by technology which conditions people to focus on the illusion of "then." If we get uncentred, we get lost in thinking which underlies doing. This means we are lost in thought. Many thoughts hijack our attention to deny, devalue, disregard, reduce the present moment to a means to an end. How often are we taught the present moment is an obstacle to overcome? This revelation is a stepping stone to being here now- transcendence.

Astonish Yourself

Notice the deeper we go within into the nature of our pain and suffering, the more astonished we are to find nothing but Love. To find no-thing, is to see fear is illusion. Our intrinsic value is felt in nothingness. This is not a vacuum or a void. Turns out, the black hole is the portal or gateway to recall and unleash our limitless potential. The loudest voice arises in the natural state of silence.

Every emotion arising in us points to our own projected reality, not to anything independent of our own mind. The most startling revelations empower us to activate and live in higher awareness.

Everything that seems to be happening to us is only appearing on the screen of our own consciousness. To know this is to fear nothing, know we are in essence, untouchable. As reality is observed through this lens, it dawns that suffering is a catalyst to deepen our own humility, compassion, quiet grace and dignity.

Freedom arises as external acceptance no longer matters. We find relief from the mind as we see through our pain, stop making choices to make others comfortable. Transmutation evokes feeling uneasy, but falling apart is a stage of awakening to our own beauty. Pain is physical and suffering is mental. Each is a teacher guiding us to find comfort in our vulnerabilty and live wholeheartedly.

The secret is to love ourselves fully as we are right now, instead of loving the idea of other people loving a different version of us. Come what may, truth is, we deserve self-love, the understanding we are worthy of our own self-respect. Inner strength and resilience grow as we consciously realize the truth for ourselves in practice. Let go.

Grow beyond blind compassion

(Image: Sacred geometry 792 by Endre Balogh)

Notice the importance of allowing all things to serve our awakening. When we are offended by behaviour or actions, if we are always completely non-judgemental, or at least, resist expressing true feelings or saying anything that could be seen as judgemental, we may be doing a disservice to ourselves and those who offend us. For, in not doing what we can to bring people face-to-face with the consequences of their actions, we are actually depriving them of Soul growth. Further, in letting them off the hook, we are doing the same for ourselves. As an analogy, by not allowing a butterfly to struggle its own way out of a coccoon, it emerges weak. Metamophosis is supposed to be difficult to build resilience, trust, discernment. Butterflies need a surface they can climb and hang from so their wings can expand properly. This is why they emerge in phases, building strength, confidence, energy at every stage. Similarly, certain kinds of compassion may hide misguided tolerance and aversion to confrontation, as well as avoidance of pain and anger that exist to facilitate human Soul growth. Although its helpful to examine how judgement of others can reflect our own shadows or invite us to self-examine, build our discernment a focus on self alone is misguided. Blind compassion for others can arise as a tool of survival learned during childhood. Recognizing our own patterns and changing our behaviour not only empowers us, but also nudges others to do what they exist to do. To cut to the chase, at some point, we would have to not only feel the pain of what we suffered but also feel its consequences later in life, and many of us resist that, even when we see value in doing so. At the perfect moment, it dawns that suppressing the hurt we were suffering often made things worse. Being solely compassionate about behaviour that evokes discomfort keeps us 'safely' removed both from standing up for ourselves and the consequences. Yet, if we do not russle feathers, make a fuss or contront anyone, it robs us of our autonomy and accountability, implying we do not have a choice when we do. To confront someone with fierce compassion (express true emotions) has another impact. If we hurry too fast to forgive, we skip the process that leads to authentic forgiveness, feeling our hurt, expressing our needs and navigating conflict. As we shed our blinders and see our pain clearly, our anger, hurt, frustration, moral outrage, we re-enter a realm of love that had been closed off from which we can now freely give and receive. As we welcome struggles and challenges, strive for nobel and lofty goals, we are connecting and expanding our Soul in ways beyond the wildest imagination

Deepen depth of character

Character deepens with experience.  Perceived (physical) pain and (mental) suffering build character. When things are not going the way our ego wants them to go, we are invited to step back, find patience and understanding. We can stop identifying with pain, see beyond it.

Radiance happens based on the attitude we hold when everythng is going our way or, at least in the direction that feels right or less painful. We navigate the waters of pleasure and pain until we move into calmer water.  As we travel this journey, increasing synchronicities arise.  Events unfold and give us information we did not even consciously know we needed, guide us to options to help us help ourselves, options we were previously unaware.   Acceptance and surrender in practice, is allowing intuition to guide us and trusting ourselves fully.

The perfect example is my recent atlas re-alignment. It was through connecting and engaging with friends that led to that atlas-related referral. For this process, I consulted an individual who helped me gain deeper insight into myself, as well as how to feel into the interconnectedness of my spine, joints, breath and the rest of my body on a whole new level. I now have more detailed understanding of reasons for my posture and breathing that extensive breathwork training had not itself given me.  However, in trusting in that path and completing that training, I was being prepared for what was coming next. A friendly reminder we are always being preapred for the unforeseen.

Similarly, this process led me to a dentist who is now assisting me to piece together a puzzle about my son. Emoional, physical and other symptoms are all related to energy flow.  What we see is always guiding us to see what we are not yet seeing. Recent life experience teaches me that it is the degree of connection and engagement we nurture in our relationships that catapults us to precisely what the soul requires to love on a whole new level. Wisdom of connection is timeless.