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Entries in stress (7)

Monday
Apr012024

The Wisdom of Presence

Notice where anger exists, pain or hurt lingers underneath. To be aware of this implies we no longer completely identify with it. If impatience arises, if we focus on or get worked up, overwhelmed about the next series of things, we are lost in continuous doing. Stress is the sense of feeling lost between now and later. Its common to feel lost in this gap in time or space. This dysfunction is amplified by technology which conditions people to focus on the illusion of "then." If we get uncentred, we get lost in thinking which underlies doing. This means we are lost in thought. Many thoughts hijack our attention to deny, devalue, disregard, reduce the present moment to a means to an end. How often are we taught the present moment is an obstacle to overcome? This revelation is a stepping stone to being here now- transcendence.

Wednesday
May102023

Choose Soul-based decision-making

My child is unhappy at daycare, growing noticably more anxious, and getting sick more often. I will regret it forever if I don’t leave my job, change my livelihood, to care for my child at home.

“I feel stressed in my workspace. There is so much negative energy among colleagues, even discrimination. I don’t know where to go for grievances. Just know that I can’t stay.”

“ I feel an urgency to pursue my dream. I have a vision but lack full clarity.”

I can relate to quandries about parenting and work-life balance, as well as roles in public and private sectors.  As a coach, clients consult me for guidance about life change without always knowing the next steps on their journey. What they and we all come to realize if open and receptive, is that our body-mind is constantly giving us signs and signals. We can learn to read them. Part of us knows what is not aligned with our soul. The messages are loud and persistent, to where they are difficult to ignore.  The voices invite us to give up the needs of our ego – earned job title, predictable income, security, maybe how and where we live and take leaps of faith without knowing how things will turn out! Its an exercise in trust. Can you relate to that inner urge to change?

With the onslaught of the global health concerns, wildfires, environmental calamities, political upheavals, and far more, we are repeatedly to prompted to act differently.  The inner voice is getting louder. As we begin to see our lives in terms of energy, the stakes are high when we are out of alignment! How can we learn to make decisions that are aligned with collective wisdom and that reliable intuition?

Six Modes of Decision-Making

In the book The New Leadership Paradigm, Richard Barrett talks about Six Modes of Decision Making.

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  1. Instinct-Based
  2. Subconscious Belief-Based
  3. Conscious Belief Based
  4. Values-Based
  5. Intuition-Based
  6. Inspiration-Based

Question is, in day-to-day life, what sort of decision-making evokes more joy and freedom? If we are guided by internal feelings, or the soul, then these modes take us closer or further away from the best choice on our path.

1.    Instinct-Based Decisions 

This is about biological survival. For example, babies instinctively know how to suckle and cry when they are born, in order to help them gain the food and attention they need to survive. As adults, your instincts kick in when you are in danger, such as the fight or flight response.  In this realm, actions proceed thought. You are not consciously in control of your decisions.

2.    Subconscious Belief-Based Decisions 

This is about personal memories and experiences from the past and are often driven by emotions rather than rational thought. When you make subconscious decisions based on beliefs from the past, you are often responding to unmet ego needs.  In this realm, action still proceeds thought and you are still not consciously in control of your decisions. The key decision driver is your personal experience rather than your biology.

3.    Conscious Belief-Based 

This is where the realm of rational decision-making based on conscious thought, information, and experience.In this type of decision-making you switch to thinking before you act. You are in control. Yet, you still tend to make decisions based on past experiences and feelings, rather than on your future and infinite potential.

4.    Values-Based decision-making

This involves examining your past beliefs and experiences and letting go of what no longer serves you anymore. When you move into values-based decision-making, you can create a future that resonates with who you truly are and want to become.  Values-based decision-making is based on your personal values and the future you want to create. You are in control of your actions and consult with others to consciously create the best outcome.

5.    Intuition-Based decisions

This is about allowing you to tap into a deeper and collective wisdom of a larger group. This may involve giving up your personal preference in service of the whole. You shift away from your ego-system into a larger eco-system view.

With intuition-based decisions, you expand our awareness of the whole, suspend your judgment, empty your mind, and are open to thoughts that arise and reflect a wisdom that is greater than your own.

6.    Inspiration-Based decision-making is responding to the promptings of our soul. This decision-making enables your soul to fulfill its purpose in this world. Barrett mentions that some forms of depression arise from ignoring these insistent promptings of the soul.

In this realm, thoughts seem to appear from nowhere, they are persistent, and there are emotional consequences for not listening to them.

Three Ways to Align Decisions with the Needs of Your Soul

Here are some tips you can practice to begin shifting to making decisions aligned to the needs of your soul:

1. Be Aware of the Level at Which You are Making Decisions 

  • Do you tend to get stuck in rational decision-making based on your past experience, without considering values? When is that appropriate? And when might you need to shift to exploring the involved in the situations.

2. Consult others 

  • Through consulting with others and becoming more aware of diverse perspectives, you begin to expand your own knowledge, gain deeper levels of understanding, and tap into a collective wisdom that is greater than your own.

3. Meditation, Prayer, Spiritual Practice

  • Tapping into values, intuition, and inspiration is a spiritual practice. Take 5 minutes per day to quiet your mind, be present, and seek wisdom from your ancestors in the spiritual realm and the wisdom of the universe. Ask for guidance in decision-making. It may come in a dream, while immersed in nature or in a quiet moment. Listen carefully and pay attention.

At what level do you tend to make decisions? At what level would you like to make decisions?  What is most effective for you in different life areas?  Would you benefit from coaching along these lines? Contact us.

Monday
Jan172022

The Key to Being Authentic

(Image credit: Fractal Enlightenment)

Notice as you begin to love yourself fully as you are, you begin to grow aware of the illusions you created to shelter yourself from pain, those situations you created to uphold a false sense of self. As you begin to see through your own dishonesty, the stress and struggle it has been to uphold it, the lies told by others around you also reveal themselves. The more aligned you grow with your own integrity, the harder it is to stomach / accept the falseness around you. It dawns you never actually let go of situations or relationships. Rather, they fall away as part of you consciously shifting into higher vibrational states. You shift the focus of your attention away from unconscious living to conscious co-creation. The more in tune we become with our feelings, and act based on goodness, the faster we expand into the best version of self. A higher vibration echoes congruence, authenticity, self-respect, self-trust, self-love, -acceptance and will to surrrender to the universe. Deepest being knows help or support is always given to those who ask when they are true to themselves.

Wednesday
Oct062021

See trees as a mirror

Notice communing with trees is about allowing ourselves to rise and vibrate higher, to expand insight into nature's classroom, to exercise imagination and creative abilities, to engage more deeply with life and recall peace exists within us. Whether spontaneously hugging a tree trunk, climbing out on a limb to build confidence, feeling inspired to observe and draw what is unfolding around us, initiating a game of hide and seek, we fine tune our intuition by relying on it. Trees  are a metaphor that remind us to stretch and grow toward the Sun and beyond, to have fun blossoming into more of ourselves. As we see more universal lessons in unfolding events, we tune into existing harmony. Not only are you more receptive to beneficial energies, you are more vulnerable to vibrations which may deplete your life force and/or create emotional and physical stress. Feeling the trunk of a tree reminds us of our own thick skin. We can explore how to use our body as a protective boundary and how to clear your system if you’ve been negatively affected by outside influences. Preserving your sovereignty in this way is a wonderful way to care and respect for your dear self.

Tuesday
Oct222019

Somebody asked me

Somebody asked me why it sometimes seems like everything is working against them. The feeling that they are often under the wire to get places or pay bills on-time, that they feel disempowered by people or conditions. In a nutshell, this individual seems to move through degrees of stress to discomfort, and forgets one may also thrive on conditions of uncertainty.  Who can relate here?

What if, whenever things seem to evoke negativity or fear, we could stop and breathe deeply?

What if, we could shift from thinking something or someone is working against us, to sensing everything is always working in our favor in some way, nudging us in the best possible direction?

What if, the next time we wish we were somewhere else, doing something else, with someone else, we ask ourselves how being right where we are, is itself a blessing?

What if, we could remind ourselves, other way always exist to see, feel or respond differently to our physical, mental or emotional or other conditions? Which other avenues are opening to us?

What if, we could let go of wishing we could control everything, and simply trust more?