Facilitate a dying wish

Life on this planet does not always seem easy.  Amidst the constant acts of identifying and overcoming your own challenges, you may suddenly turn attention to help others realize a dying wish. Every gesture also helps yourself.  Part of you is in the process of dying, going through transitions. Another part of you is learning how to truly feel renewed. 

Whether or not you realize it, every moment teaches you based on how you choose to live.  Many people arrive at a point in their lives when they assist loved ones in primary care during illness.  You may do it directly or indirectly, hands-on or from a distance, for parents, grandparents or someone unrelated. How can or do you already help someone realize an end-of life  dream? What does it mean to you to be part of that?

Some people do not feel giving up the life they lead is a sacrifice when the alternative is genuinely enriching someone else's existence.  Changes in someone's health often trigger wake-up calls for family members. Do you ever ask yourself if such conditions invite changes in areas of your life?

To learn someone you care about is in an advanced stage of a serious illness might compel you to transform your life. You learn to turn thinking off, to re-awaken dormant power of intuition. You just do what is instinctive, what makes sense in the moment. This inner process opens channels of love within you that logic may have temporarily obscured.

One person's apparent crisis is everyone's crisis and also a blessing in disguise. The immortal soul dances through space and time and taps you gently when you are not being true to your authentic self. The dying wish of someone to accomplish a task with your help may hide another dying wish inside for you to be who you are. You do more than one thing unaware.

Wherever you are, stop as a meditation exercise.  Look around. Be everything you see. You are part of all things, and also part of something bigger you do not yet comprehend. Notice what you do and where you do it right now. Who is with you? Who's spirit do you feel nearby?  What you are not doing and what you stop doing are just as purposeful as what you are. 

Cancer recovery

You know in the heart that every case of cancer is different yet ultimately the same. Each person you know, meet or hear about in this situation invites you to empathize, to share compassion, kindness and love.  Reflect on who benefits from your support/ story.

In speaking with a rotary colleague, I hear he is recovering from malignant melanoma (skin cancer). Luckily, his cancer was caught early and didn't spread (metastasize). His physician did a biopsy and cut out the area of skin which was cancerous. This colleague said he feels good now. He's already out riding his bike again. Retirement doesn't keep him from staying active. He admits he would like to avoid getting cancer again. He thrives on his support network, reminds himself to wear a hat and more sunscreen. He's lucky, humbled by the recent, health setback yet, does not allow fear to control him. As a cheerful athlete, he feels he is now more responsible, and swears by positive thinking.

In contrast, a woman I've known from 13 years is in another remission from breast cancer. Her main goal is to muster the energy and motivation each day to get up and move about her apartment.  She lives alone and has no relatives to help her. She admits her eating habits could be healthier yet, dwells more on what appears lacking than on making changes. She rarely has the physical strength or morale to advance her game. Yet, she takes initiatives to contact a group of cancer survivors/supporters who do home visits and encourage her to attend nearby New York City meetings when she can manage it.  This woman reminds us we are each ultimately alone to deal with our health and emotions. Its up to each one of us to see blessings/ lessons where we are.

Although anyone you encounter with cancer appears on the surface to be simply grappling with physcial health issues, a closer look reveals how they react or respond is based on state of mind.  You may sense someone you know recognizes having cancer as a stepping stone to strengthen relationships, to appreciate life more, to reframe conditions or to challenge and accept himself on a new level.  If a person is highly-resistant or submissive to disease, this effects the evolution of an illness as much as attitude.  Consider how different people you know or have known respond to cancer. Consider how members of your family are responding or have responded to this disease.

Whether or not a person recovers fully from an illness depends on a variety of factors.  For most people, full recovery is the goal.  For this to happen, a person is invited to reflect on thoughts and behaviours that may have contributed to the evolution of the disease.  This includes; lifestyle choices as well as physical, emotional, psychologcal, environmental and other factors.  What blessings or revelations does having the disease trigger? One thing is crystal clear:  attitude and action are key.  Take this on-board:

• Be kind to yourself & others. Set an example.  What goes around comes around. 
• Take care of your physical body.  Explore healthy eating practices and physical exercise. 
• Be mindful.  Raising awareness boosts energy, strength and inner healing.
• Positive thinking, affirmations, laughter/ humor and creative expression therapy all empower you to deal with whatever life throws your way the best you can.  
• Notice balance and imbalances in your life. Feel the difference and thoughts and behaviours contributing to each.  You decide what matters. What if nothing does?

"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell." ~Lance Armstrong