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« Why is more not enough? | Main | Revive dormant levels of awareness »
Tuesday
Jun162009

Facilitate a dying wish

Life on this planet does not always seem easy.  Amidst the constant acts of identifying and overcoming your own challenges, you may suddenly turn attention to help others realize a dying wish. Every gesture also helps yourself.  Part of you is in the process of dying, going through transitions. Another part of you is learning how to truly feel renewed. 

Whether or not you realize it, every moment teaches you based on how you choose to live.  Many people arrive at a point in their lives when they assist loved ones in primary care during illness.  You may do it directly or indirectly, hands-on or from a distance, for parents, grandparents or someone unrelated. How can or do you already help someone realize an end-of life  dream? What does it mean to you to be part of that?

Some people do not feel giving up the life they lead is a sacrifice when the alternative is genuinely enriching someone else's existence.  Changes in someone's health often trigger wake-up calls for family members. Do you ever ask yourself if such conditions invite changes in areas of your life?

To learn someone you care about is in an advanced stage of a serious illness might compel you to transform your life. You learn to turn thinking off, to re-awaken dormant power of intuition. You just do what is instinctive, what makes sense in the moment. This inner process opens channels of love within you that logic may have temporarily obscured.

One person's apparent crisis is everyone's crisis and also a blessing in disguise. The immortal soul dances through space and time and taps you gently when you are not being true to your authentic self. The dying wish of someone to accomplish a task with your help may hide another dying wish inside for you to be who you are. You do more than one thing unaware.

Wherever you are, stop as a meditation exercise.  Look around. Be everything you see. You are part of all things, and also part of something bigger you do not yet comprehend. Notice what you do and where you do it right now. Who is with you? Who's spirit do you feel nearby?  What you are not doing and what you stop doing are just as purposeful as what you are. 

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Reader Comments (21)

On two occasions, I have had the privilege of making death wishes come true. I do not know if they know that I am fulfilling their death wishes, but I know and that makes a great deal of difference to my self worth and peace of mind.

You are very right that in giving care we find depths of emotions that otherwise lie dormant.
June 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrummuser
I read somewhere that not only do HIV positive people suffering with AIDS have AIDS, but we all do. We are all interconnected and when one suffers, we all suffer.

Your post reinforces that message for me. Thanks!
June 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiruh
It was the death of two loved ones separated by 5 weeks that led to my eventual decision to live my life as though it is my death wish. From the twice broken heart of 14 years ago was born my service to my world and my ability to stand in my truth and my power as I help others to do the same. Death has become my friend, grief too has become a friend, and through embracing these two friends I have found my greatest friend, hope.
June 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArchmessenger
rummuser, choosing to be with a human being as he or she nears the end of this life is valuable because of the intention behind such a heart-felt gesture. You connect on a soul level. The truth of this love is known by giver and receiver. It is a celebration of life. To genuinely help another is also to strengthen and heal the inner self.

Sometimes a person has a kind of Bucket List. This is a list of things he hopes to accomplish between learning physical life is ending and the supposed end itself. People diagnosed with terminal illness sometimes create this kind of list. Other people create a smiliar list earlier in life, knowing that the physical body does not last forever. What matters is the love you express, whatever form it takes, this love travels beyond the physical. Those souls you love here retain and sense this beyond this world.
June 17, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Miruh, as a human being shifts consciousness, that energy being senses inter-connectedness with everything. That means that when someone else is sad, this evokes compassion. That also means that everyone is a part of everyone else. As you open the self to soul wisdom, you realize heightening sensitivities within. Any sense of dis-ease is a reflection of unease about something or multiple levels of things that require further attention and healing. This helps remind people that every person is empowering and healing others. Just being means you participate.
June 17, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
My 94 year old mum died June 25,2007. She moved into my house for her last year and she had two wishes which I helped her with. She wanted to make sure my brother and sister had a little nest egg from her estate, by moving into my home that was made possible by cutting costs - the hard part was the 24/7 nature of my work in the last year. Her second wish was that I assist her in letting go of her drive and letting go of this life - she did not wish to die on my daughter's birthday as her mother, sister and my father had all died on her birthday.
One of the hardest parts of the whole experience was bringing myself back to living several times a day and during the night....
I am very pleased to have been able to grant these wishes, but I am still tired and kind of worn out from the experience. Thank you for this timely post
June 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia
Curtis, your words are profound. This message resonates differently than those that echo ideas on life or death. Your energy and reflection encourage each person to create their own sense of connection with the Divine, a Higher Power and unconditional love. They can choose to give it a label or not. By virtue of having recognized inner worthiness, you feel a timeless sense of inner peace.
June 17, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Patricia, its meaningful to recognize the power of your instincts. As you permit compassion to fill the mind, choices you make are always the right ones at a given moment. When you act from the heart, this is loving and divine. Your purpose shifts. Empowering others is how you detach from emotions that do not serve you. When you feel tired, this reminds you of a phase of the renewal process. We each help create and maintain life in this world. We are each called at different moments.
June 17, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
A fabulous post and I especially liked the part where it says that when someone gives something in their life up to enrich another person's existence, they do not necessarily consider it a sacrifice. I am yet to take such a step in my life, but when the opportunity comes accross my doors, I will keep your posts in mind. Thank you for such a strong article!
June 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshok
Ashok, sacrifice is a concept that arises from attachment. As a person learns to detach from material things, and recognizes all conditions are temporary, the concept of sacrifice loses its meaning. Love for others opens doors inside you that prompt you to make choices that put others before you. It is a journey to understand the idea of selflessness, altrusim and compassion on new levels.
June 17, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
I have found funerals and memorial services can be a time of coming together and renewal. Our inner spirits still brighten in fellowship.

The world turns. Energy sails everywhere and is harnessed by loving thoughts.
June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJannie Funster
Hi Liara .. I liked Patricia's words where 'Her mother's second wish was that I assist her in letting go of her drive and letting go of this life - she did not wish to die ..." This is where my mother is .. and I find it very difficult - she doesn't want to let go .. and because of her situation could live on for quite a long time. I just want the best for her during this last chapter of her life - but what she wants I'm not sure despite asking often ..

Perhaps I should just ask her .. can I facilitate your dying wish? I don't know ..

Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters
June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHilary
Jannie, as you imply, every situation is what you make of it. Human beings can choose to connect and nurture each other in a variety of conditions. The love and intention behind each initiative matters. Each person knows inside.
June 18, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hilary, you do what makes sense to you at a given moment. I recall one of my grandfathers wanted to pass over just after his wife did. He stopped eating, stopped his previous version of living, ceased speaking and was impatient for the ultimate transition. I reminded him the angels come when a soul is truly ready, not before. Each person senses when the time is right. The conscious mind is often on a different frequncy than the unconscious mind. As you still talk with your mom, its a bit different.
June 18, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hi Liara .. thanks for those words .. Mum wants to live on for the moment - so I try and make every visit worth while for her .. I don't always succeed, but we can only do our best at these times.

Thank you - Hilary
June 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHilary
Hi Liara - A couple of days ago I went to the funeral of a relative who was too young to die. Since then - I've being two things. The first - worrying about possible health problems of my own. When something like this happens - folk around them get scared for themselves too - most just don't like to admit it.

Secondly, I've been re-evaluating my life. I know there's things I want to do - lots of things, before I die. And the death of others has inspired me to stop procrastinating and get on with them. But I do still have the feeling I need more guidance - I'm not totally sure of all the things I should be doing. I'm going to give your meditation a go and see if that helps. Thanks.
June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCath Lawson
Cath, although sometimes hard to fathom, everyone dies at precisely the right moment. No person is too old, too young, too anything. Everything an energy being does is a choice. It is a choice to live in human form and also a choice to die. For some, its a choice to sleepwalk through life and for others, a choice to raise awareness and grow. To wish someone lived longer is sometimes viewed as selfish. Why are you convinced that person is not happy and at peace now? People pass on to help the living too.

I spoke to a friend today who purchased a book called 1001 Paintings to see before you die. I am familiar with a similar book called, 1001 Places to see before you die. These kinds of books, media and the way western society is structured in general, all prompt human beings to sense a shortage of time. In reality, time is an illusion. What you do in the time you are given is what makes this physical life meaningful. It is not the quantity of activities you undertake. How you enrich the other lives, matters.

Consider you imagine time and structure your life around it because almost everyone does. This leads you to make choices to nurture impatience, fear and misunderstanding. Regardless where you are, you always do enough, you are always loved, worthy, and doing meaningful things. One view of 'procrastination' is delaying or deferring something. As you stand back, you sometimes begin to realize you always focus on a few things even though your mind is tapped into many more things at once. You are not consciously aware of all you do at this moment.
June 21, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hilary, you are always doing the best you can at a given moment. This is a kind of success. No such thing as failure unless you choose to believe in it. Shift focus is an option. Sharing love and joy with positive intent matters.
June 21, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hi Liara - I hadn't thought about time in that way before. When younger people have died - especially when I know they had plans to do more, it's hard not to feel sad for them. But as you say - iif they are happy right now - what they missed doing when they were on earth doesn't matter so much.

Thanks for making me aware of my fear of shortage of time. I guess it's something I've always had and it has been making me forget about the things I have achieved in a certain period of time.
June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCath Lawson
Cath, Neal Donald Walsh shares a meaningful story about death at a young age. He gives the example of a young man who had been adopted and was very much looking forward to re-connecting with his biological mother after his 18th birthday. On that birthday, the young man died during a motorcycle accident. His adoptive mother was very angry at God for taking that young man before he reunited with his mother. When Neal Donald Walsch heard this story from the angry woman, he asked God for an answer. Apparently, God replied that young man did get his wish. His birth mother was already in heaven. The adoptive mother had not thought of that possibility. SHe had been conditioned to view situations in terms of apparent lack, based on her beliefs of meaning and the way hings should be. This perspective blinds many people from the way things are. It is a humbling reply that reminds each of us to step back from the assumptions we make. Everything always happens at precisely the right moment. Time is compressed when a person is focused on anything other than pure love.
June 22, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert

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