10 Tips to heal after loss of a loved one

Its common to find it hard to accept the perceived death of a loved one. We are deeply conditioned to believe in loss and to feel this in the physical body, and reinforce our resistance as suffering in the mind. There is no right or wrong way to respond. There is only a specturm of experience to develop or draw from. Consider 10 tips to heal after loss of a loved one:

1) Meditation and Mindfulness: 

A regular meditation practice helps to quiet the "mind chatter" and observe the true nature of the mind and the ego-centered identity. Mindfulness, or bringing present-moment awareness into daily activities, naturally follows and helps in seeing reality as it is, without the obscuring layer of conceptual thought and beliefs.

2) Self-Inquiry: 

Directly investigate the belief in a separate self by examining it against actual sensory experience. For example, try to find the exact physical location of the "self" in your body. By doing this repeatedly, you may realize the self has no physical location, revealing its conceptual, rather than factual, nature.

3) Observing Thoughts Without Judgment: 

The illusion of separation is reinforced by identifying with our thoughts, emotions, and sensations. By observing these internal experiences without attachment or judgment, you create space to recognize that you are the awareness of them, not the thoughts themselves.

4) Connecting with Others:

Engage in practices that foster a sense of shared humanity. Simple exercises like prolonged, silent eye contact with another person can help break down barriers and create a profound sense of connection and universal love. This helps to dismantle illusion of separation so you realize love knows no true bounds except in the mind.

5)  Reframe Language: 

Instead of using labeling statements like "I am sad," try rephrasing them as "sadness is arising" or "tiredness is present". This subtle shift in language helps decouple your core identity from fleeting emotions and sensations.

6) Embrace Vulnerability: 

Allow yourself to be "permeable" by letting things in and acknowledging your desire for connection. Being vulnerable helps join your "inside and outside worlds," moving away from the fear that fuels separation.

7) Challenge Your Beliefs: 

Actively question and re-evaluate your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the world. Ask yourself if these thoughts are producing the results you want in life and if they are truly fact-based or simply habitual patterns.

8) Focus on Contentment Over Happiness: 

Strive for a baseline of contentment (Santosha in Sanskrit) rather than chasing fleeting happiness. Contentment fosters inner peace and stability, making you less susceptible to the ups and downs that reinforce the ego's narrative.

9) Spend Time in Nature: 

Connecting with the natural world can help remind you of the interconnected, fluid, and dynamic way everything in nature works together. This experience serves as a powerful counterbalance to the individualistic thinking prevalent in modern culture.

10) Seek Non-Dual Teachings: 

Listening to various non-dual teachers can be helpful to ground you, but nothing replaces your own direct investigation and personal experience. 

Being Real is Natural

Notice giving or expressing love freely is natural. We need not give something with monetary value; a smile, kind word or time, is enough. As we do everything with love, any lingering pain in our heart disappears. Simply being authentic allows love to come and go. It is a natural law. We get what we give and more.

Although love energy naturally overflows, we are often taught it must be earned or requested. The result is a heavy heart. Rather than allowing the heart to blossom, we may hold energy in, create discomfort. Love flows as we appreciate being ourselves. Being honest, vulnerable fearless, allows love to flow.

After holding back, being real unleashes pent up energy. The self disappears, melts into the whole. The tense state of our heart simply echoes its natural state is to give without limits. When we share who we are, it matters not to whom we are giving or the direction of flow. Joy, spontaneity, laughter, simply happen.

7 Ways to work with the Law of Cause and Effect

Notice the universal law of cause and effect states that every action in the universe produces an equal and opposite reaction.  Some call this flow of energy "karma."  Others claim karma does not exist.  Reflect on 7 Ways to work with the Law of Cause and Effect.  Be honest...how are you travelling?

1.     Identify heavy energy

Be clear on the nature of your actions and their consequences that lock you in undesirable circumstances.  This requires making the unconscious, conscious and integrating the soul teachings. Be aware where you feel stuck or stagnant and reflect on the obstacles.

2.     Distance from incompatible people & situations

Life is complicated by those who are unable or unwilling to change.  Create distance from relationships that drain you.  Discover how much lighter you feel.  Stress will go away that was not yours to begin with.

3.     Be accountable to yourself

Once you recognize where you went astray, you are empowered to shift patterns.  Energy shifts in new directions.  Examine your past choices. Recognize making newer, more conscious choices is now.

4.     Do what nourishes your spirit

To feel drawn to something deep within you is to know intuitively this path is meant to revitalize you.  Focus energy on what makes you feel useful and valuable, allow it to nurture you.  One avenue is using dreams as a tool to get in touch with deeper meaning and life diractions. Contact us about dream work and our Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga Course.

5.     View vulnerabilities as strengths

See that apparent weaknesses or patterns are teachers and pointers to resilience and opportunities for soul growth.  Be open to power of an open heart, how this profoundly connects you to deep truth.

6.     Take responsibility

Follow intuition to modify behaviours that are not serving you and the greater good.  Accept that we cannot change others, only how we respond.  Let go of old ways or behaviours that you outgrow.  Take the process of   personal responsibility to a whole new level. Be bold, daring! Join our 3 month Radical Responsibility course.

7.     Practice Gratitude 

The energy of gratitude lifts us out of the vibration of stuckness or negative energy.  This focuses us instead in the creative flow so we can concentrate on allowing the blessings and talents of who we are to flow, rather than attempting to fix illusions of who we are not.  

5 Pointers to a satisfying relationship

Creating a good (reciprical) relationship implies learning how to interact with your partner in ways that promote and enhance honest communication while allowing for trust and vulnerability. Becoming skillful at relationships requires both your own inner work and external work (on your partnership).  Consider 5 pointers to nourish a satisfying relationship:

Unconditional Love & Compassion: How to have a satisfying relationship? Some say its key to always put your partner first. Yet, you cannot ignore yourself. Focus on what you are giving and how you are caring in balance with what you are receiving.  Express your needs in a way your partner can understand. If s/he does not get it, this may not be the right person for you.

Absolute Courage and Vulnerability: Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Treat someone else as you would have done unto you or treat your partner better to raise the bar on how you would like to be treated. The power of compliments, kind gestures and expressing love is often underestimated. Yet, if this baffles or overwhelms your partner, you may not see eye -to-eye and the relationship may drain rather than energize you.

Know the Truth: This is not about blaming. The key to extraordinary relationships is to know your partner’s soul and never make them wrong. Understand their needs, past hurts, behaviours and patterns. If it resonates, do what you can to satisfy their needs.  Yet, being a good partner in a relationship is also about feeling complete unto yourself without the other person. Know that you cannot satisfy each other's voids, only enrich each other.

Be Honest with yourself: Get conscious and commit to moment-to-moment awareness. Your state, body language, words and actions have a direct and potentially lasting impact on your relationship.

Giving Freedom: The power of forgiving, forgetting is profound. There is a saying: if you give a bird freedom and he comes back, he is yours. If the bird never comes back, he was never yours.  This is not about possession but rather about free will.  Create a safe space for your partner to make honest mistakes and make them feel that they can take comfort in a secure relationship. You cannot force anything. Satisfying relationships arise from giving partners the freedom to value you as you are or move on without imposing guitlt or coersion. 

5 Tips to Release Fear-based confusion

Fear-based confusion is when intuition knows you are ready to make a big life change but feel too confused or postpone taking action you know feels right.  The ego has you believe in obstacles, unknowns, reasons why-not, or other people involved you “should” put first. Thus, resistance has the upper hand. You may hover between a rock and hard place.

Does this sound familiar? Maybe you contemplate a career change, a geographic move, parenthood, ending a relationship or committing to one, organizing your finances, jumpstarting a new project, a health regimen.  Most relate to gut-wrenching confusion in some form or life area, and it can affect stress, anxiety, breathing rhythm the state of your identity.

In my own life, I’ve come to notice confusion arises as a symptom of fear, and awareness of the bigger picture can help us reclaim power, reduce stress, anxiety and help us reverse escalating emotion. As a general rule, the more important certain decisions are to your soul's evolution, the stronger the resistance you will feel. Rest assured, nobody is alone or helpless in their journey. Turns out, fear-based confusion is manageable.  In fact, it brings surprising insight and wisdom.  Consider 5 tips to release fear-based confusion:

 1. Identify what brings you joy

If fear holds you back, identify what brings you joy.  Explore what evokes uplifting feelings and aliveness.  For example, instead of trying to answer the question, “What should I do with my life?” ask, “What can I do that evokes joy right now?” Follow the trail of excitement, gratitude and appreciation for yourself, and existence. Know that sources of joy naturally shift and change as we grow.  We are each meant to be here now. As we focus on what evokes deep joy, the clouds of confusion disappear.  Clarity arises naturally.

2. Let go of "little things" that you outgrow

Giving up some activity, like a hobby you do not like anymore, or reducing portions of dessert, is much less daunting than making bigger life changes too fast. Taking things step-by-step helps you see what is possible, builds your confidence to tackle bigger things.  In addition, it leaves room for expansion and freedom to grow. As Michael Singer eches, "Letting go of fear is not letting go of life."

3. Decide on direction

Be clear on some direction. Making a clear decision is the quickest way out of confusion.  This may sound obvious, but self-doubt can be a slippery slope. Believe in yourself enough to make a decision. Know that "right" and "wrong" decisions do not exist. What matters is how we feel where we are. For example, you may not know what career you want after school yet love travel and may do so as a way of soul searching. You may not know if you want to continue in a job/ company so may take a sabbatical or retain a coach.  Doing something is a step to guide yourself in the best direction.

4.  Release expectations 

Some people tell themselves only to take a risk or decision when they feel they control the whole process. They immediately search for something that feels secure in the face of change; a new home, job, relationship, hobby or situation to move into before finlly cutting ties to the previous conditions. Yet, life does not work that way. Truth is, change happens more smoothly when we take ourselves out of it, surrender to the unknown. You can set an intention, but magic happens beyond our control.  The element of trust has a place here.

5. Trust the Universe

Once you make the initial decision, the Universe will start to provide you with people and experiences that help you move forward. Breathe.  Tune into awareness, how your decision feels in your body, and act on whatever option has a sense of lightness and openness to it. To leave the details to the Universe allows us to focus on the present, how we feel right now rather than making joy depend on a certain outcome. Recall vulnerability is strength.  Feeling vulnerable is part of embracing change. Befriend confusion and recognize the gift it is. Once you take the first step, everything else falls into place.  Its the divine plan.