Being Real is Natural

Notice giving or expressing love freely is natural. We need not give something with monetary value; a smile, kind word or time, is enough. As we do everything with love, any lingering pain in our heart disappears. Simply being authentic allows love to come and go. It is a natural law. We get what we give and more.

Although love energy naturally overflows, we are often taught it must be earned or requested. The result is a heavy heart. Rather than allowing the heart to blossom, we may hold energy in, create discomfort. Love flows as we appreciate being ourselves. Being honest, vulnerable fearless, allows love to flow.

After holding back, being real unleashes pent up energy. The self disappears, melts into the whole. The tense state of our heart simply echoes its natural state is to give without limits. When we share who we are, it matters not to whom we are giving or the direction of flow. Joy, spontaneity, laughter, simply happen.

10 Tips to Rebuild, Rewire & Recreate Yourself

The moment arises when we are ready to make bigger life changes.  Sometimes change seems to happen without us and we may feel confused or frozen in our tracks. Sometimes we are unsure exactly how to respond to abrupt change, that is, which mountains to scale, which direction to turn or to how to let go of what no longer serves us.  Consider 10 Tips to rebuild, rewire and recreate yourself;

1. Draw Power from Inside

Everything shifts as it dawns true power comes from inner navigation rather than from outer attractions and attachments to people, position, potential promotion, material goods and prestiege.  In other words, this is key to reclaim and strengthen relationship with our truest virtues, vivid visions and untapped potential.

2.  Speak Truthfully

One who speaks from the heart, does not hold back, regardless of judgement, rejection or loss of popularity, is aligned with Soul.  As we shift away from ego agendas, we realize being honest with ourselves and others is the only option to be real.  Journalling and reading entries to self can encourage us to take it next level.

3. Focus on a Calling

This is not the same as what we do as a job we are pushed into or we allow someone to choose for us.   It emerges from intuition, a sixth or spiritual sense.  Its up to each of us to take chances, join the dots of our own path, do what others tell us cannot be done.

4. Be Loyal to your Values

This implies we are aware of our ideals and live in integrity.  This comes from deepening self-awareness and being willing to let go of relationships and situations that are not out of sync. Whether we call them pillars, commandments, guideposts, habits, principles or core values, they quietly guide our decisions and actions. The best are easily understood and shared in practice.

5. Live from the Heart

As we sget out of the head, (stop questioning, doubting, over-analyzing), and live more from the heart, we find effortless productivity soars, confidence and self-worth increase, and we grow into magic manifestors. This is part of the process of discovering oour gifts and offering service.  I pray we all come to trust intuition over the logic and practical reasoning of the intellect.

6. Study Inspiring People

Inspiring men and women affect us based on artistic genius, being fearless warriors, prodigious scientists, businss titans, inspiring humanitarians, Nobel laureats and individuals who inspire us to love and accept ourselves and our visions.   Principles they live by, behaviours, discipline and rituals stand out or draw us in to recognize qualities in ourselves that are ripe to blossom.

7. Learn to Meditate & Visualize

Notice the body. Feel your breath. Take note when your mind is wandering. Varied approaches exist.  This is about becoming an astute observer of your own thoughts and feelings.  Gradually expand your awareness to include body sensations, and sounds in external environments. Embrace everything that arises with non-judgmental awareness. Continue practicing mindfulness meditation for at least 10 minutes daily, gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice.

8. Invest in Self-development Events & Courses

Call it synchronicity or intuition, something mysterious guides us to commit time, and energy to events and courses. Maybe its a yoga teacher training, a children's illustrator workshop, a writer's masterclass, an artists' internship, a free offering that crosses our path, guidance from inspiriting specialists with no strings attached. Take advantage of what presents. Let your soul be your pilot.

9.  Enlist experts

At different stages of life, we invite in teachers and guides that invite us to evolve and flourish into more expanded versions of our true Self. That may include; performance coaches, healers, breathworkers, spiritual counsellors, hypnotherapists, dream coaches or whatever resonates with our stage of consciousness.

10. Self-examine

To pay attention to yourself invites looking deeper into the psyche, to realize what unfolds in our external world reflects the state of our inner world.  Begin to realize the subconscious mind and conscious mind are the same mind.  The only reasons we see a difference is because we artificially create a division. The part of the mind we are not willing to look at is the subconscious mind. To explore this unknown, do shadow work, get up early, strengthen resolve, do dream work, and take steps to align with personal destiny. 

On reflection, as a wiser woman, I realize this is a lot.  At times, the process, was uncomfortable, even terrifying.  Yet, is was also electrifying, fascinating, rewarding to make my own breakthroughs. It dawns that deep personal change is often painful simply because it is transformational.  We cannot grow into all we are meant o be without leaving behind versions of ourselves we outgrow. Older versions of you experience a kind of death so your own new realities can emerge. We are taught change comes with suffering but the nature and duration are up to each of us.

Every morning, I see aspects of the external world continue to sleep or remain unchanged while the way I see myself, my behavior, even my very operating system are completely restructuring.  The more I focus energy, time and attention on my vision, the more major fears fall away and new situations emerge to replace them. Much of my previous conditioning to please, to be liked and conform, while betraying true self, just dissolved.

5 Pointers to a satisfying relationship

Creating a good (reciprical) relationship implies learning how to interact with your partner in ways that promote and enhance honest communication while allowing for trust and vulnerability. Becoming skillful at relationships requires both your own inner work and external work (on your partnership).  Consider 5 pointers to nourish a satisfying relationship:

Unconditional Love & Compassion: How to have a satisfying relationship? Some say its key to always put your partner first. Yet, you cannot ignore yourself. Focus on what you are giving and how you are caring in balance with what you are receiving.  Express your needs in a way your partner can understand. If s/he does not get it, this may not be the right person for you.

Absolute Courage and Vulnerability: Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Treat someone else as you would have done unto you or treat your partner better to raise the bar on how you would like to be treated. The power of compliments, kind gestures and expressing love is often underestimated. Yet, if this baffles or overwhelms your partner, you may not see eye -to-eye and the relationship may drain rather than energize you.

Know the Truth: This is not about blaming. The key to extraordinary relationships is to know your partner’s soul and never make them wrong. Understand their needs, past hurts, behaviours and patterns. If it resonates, do what you can to satisfy their needs.  Yet, being a good partner in a relationship is also about feeling complete unto yourself without the other person. Know that you cannot satisfy each other's voids, only enrich each other.

Be Honest with yourself: Get conscious and commit to moment-to-moment awareness. Your state, body language, words and actions have a direct and potentially lasting impact on your relationship.

Giving Freedom: The power of forgiving, forgetting is profound. There is a saying: if you give a bird freedom and he comes back, he is yours. If the bird never comes back, he was never yours.  This is not about possession but rather about free will.  Create a safe space for your partner to make honest mistakes and make them feel that they can take comfort in a secure relationship. You cannot force anything. Satisfying relationships arise from giving partners the freedom to value you as you are or move on without imposing guitlt or coersion. 

Stop postponing the inevitable

Notice as consciousness expands, the moment arises when it feels right to stop postponing what evokes discomfort. Allow yourself to feel deeply and do the things you resist. Show yourself directly that underlying fear is unfounded.

Patience is alert, conscious. Postponement is subconscious resistance, a double-bind: you want to act and yet, you hesitate, tell yourself you not ready. The mind is very clever. You want to meditate, to close a chapter in your life, leave a job, move, but a voice within says, “later, tomorrow, when X happens.” We make time for priorities. Now is the right time. The future is uncertain. If you really want, act. Why not? If you postpone sharing your feelings and affection with people due to fear of rejection, or lack of reciprocity, this lso has consequences.

Is fear reinforced or strengthened by postponing something? When something is pivotal, and your desire is intense, then you will not waste a single moment. You will postpone everything else, but you do that. You postpone only that which is not significant, or, you allow fear control you. One part of mind says, “Yes, it is important.” Another part of mind says, “Yes, it is important, but later.” What is really going on here? How do we give power away? How do we reclaim it?

Consider what you postpone and what you prioritize. How you spend money, mental and physical energy, time, speaks volumes. Spiritual practices are often postponed in favor of that which enriches the body, materialism, appearances. Anger, greed, hatred, negativity tend to flow quickly. Outbursts happen. You may say, “I’m coming!” and yet doddle or not show up at all. Ask where you show up for yourself. When insults come, many people do not say, “Tomorrow I will be angry;” Yet, gestures of self- love or finding peace within are often postponed.

In a nutshell, postponement points to how we are dishonest with ourselves. Watch inside yourself, at what you have been postponing, and you will find that all that is beautiful you have been postponing. Note water flows when it is allowed to flow freely. Seeds will sprout in season, but the seeds must be sown. Otherwise they will not sprout. Which seeds do you hesitate to plant in your own life? Or, what follow-up behaviour is required to blossom into more of your true being?

Unleash the dragon within

(Image credit: Orestes de Armas Centeno)

Notice if you have ever travelled anywhere, near or far, chances are you know what its like to take things you never need and later wonder why you did.

Excess baggage echoes our fears, the fear of not having enough, or the right stuff, not meeting our needs. Fears weigh us down. Its common to judge some personal experience as negative. Fear of history repeating can influence how we respond to life, people, situations. Often, the dead weight feels like part of us.

Just like a backpacker carrying stuff that is not needed or serves no real purpose, the universe is nudging us to let go of things, thoughts, emotions, memories. Then true being shines. People in our lives do not see the real us, the best of us, if we hang onto what no longer serves us. Maybe it used to but we can change.

Maybe it is time to do what many travellers end up doing along the way during a long walk. Unpack our overloaded personal backpacks, all that we outgrow yet hang onto 'just in case'. Engage in your own inner inventory. Examine each item honestly. Only as lessons are learned can situations change. Decluttering our lives is a step toward decluttering the mind. Lighten the load.

Turns out, I recall climbing up Kazakhstan mountains with far too much stuff. I had told myself I took what I needed for different purposes on a 6 week trip through different countries. Before long, I gifted 2 of my 3 bags away. Not only was the sky clear to observe stars that night, but my mind got a little clearer. Now the more I travel, the less I take.

Admittedly, letting things go can be hard. Value is so subjective. Sometimes we believe that we are not whole without a given thing, situation, relationship. Once we have the courage to set certain things free, an incredible lightness arises.

The analogy of the alchemist and the dragon's egg rings true. To discover real freedom is about unleashing the inner dragon, the dragon within. The symbolism of a dragon egg is a reminder to acknowledge our inner potential, be open to big change, embrace our spiritual journey. We are each in process of an unforeseen metamophosis and self-discovery. Letting go of what we thought was important at another stage of life is how we navigate challenges and evolve consciousness.