5 Pointers to a satisfying relationship

Creating a good (reciprical) relationship implies learning how to interact with your partner in ways that promote and enhance honest communication while allowing for trust and vulnerability. Becoming skillful at relationships requires both your own inner work and external work (on your partnership).  Consider 5 pointers to nourish a satisfying relationship:

Unconditional Love & Compassion: How to have a satisfying relationship? Some say its key to always put your partner first. Yet, you cannot ignore yourself. Focus on what you are giving and how you are caring in balance with what you are receiving.  Express your needs in a way your partner can understand. If s/he does not get it, this may not be the right person for you.

Absolute Courage and Vulnerability: Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Treat someone else as you would have done unto you or treat your partner better to raise the bar on how you would like to be treated. The power of compliments, kind gestures and expressing love is often underestimated. Yet, if this baffles or overwhelms your partner, you may not see eye -to-eye and the relationship may drain rather than energize you.

Know the Truth: This is not about blaming. The key to extraordinary relationships is to know your partner’s soul and never make them wrong. Understand their needs, past hurts, behaviours and patterns. If it resonates, do what you can to satisfy their needs.  Yet, being a good partner in a relationship is also about feeling complete unto yourself without the other person. Know that you cannot satisfy each other's voids, only enrich each other.

Be Honest with yourself: Get conscious and commit to moment-to-moment awareness. Your state, body language, words and actions have a direct and potentially lasting impact on your relationship.

Giving Freedom: The power of forgiving, forgetting is profound. There is a saying: if you give a bird freedom and he comes back, he is yours. If the bird never comes back, he was never yours.  This is not about possession but rather about free will.  Create a safe space for your partner to make honest mistakes and make them feel that they can take comfort in a secure relationship. You cannot force anything. Satisfying relationships arise from giving partners the freedom to value you as you are or move on without imposing guitlt or coersion. 

3 Steps to transform your life

Many people ask what they can do to change their unfulfilling conditions and by extension, alleviate anxiety and intense emotion.  Getting the most out of coaching or mentoring relates to exploring key attitudes or beliefs. Consider 3 questions to get to the root of the matter and consciously transform your life:

Question 1: What do you really want right now?

While each person sees things in unique ways, a satisfying life is commonly based on three things:

• Transforming dreams into reality (getting measurable "results")
• Finding joy in what arises; harnessing power to understand, appreciate existence at the deepest level
• Realizing life is happening through us and for us rather than to us. (taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings as well as our power to change them, change how we respond to the external)

Question 2: What prevents you from having/ getting what you want?

Only three things prevent you from having anything you want:

• You lack clarity about what it is you really want
• You are missing/ unaware of the proven tools and strategies
• Your resistance stands in in the way of allowing  (inner conflicts exist- energy is out of alignment)

The biggest problem for most people is looking for ways to solve their problems instead of focusing on creating the life they want – a life of their own design. For coahing and mentoring to guide you effectively to a new way of being, start with what you want instead of thinking about what you don’t want. (Focus on outcomes)

Question 3: How do you change life in this moment?

An integrated approach can take your journey to the next level so you live the best version of yourself.  This implies you

• come to recognize your own patterns (make the unconccious conscious)
• are willing to take steps to make new choices (step outside the familliar/ break patterns),
• accept a different life is possible for you. 

Dream Analysis of the Week- French Pastry

Dream:

I was offered decadent french pastry by an alluring pastry chef. It was very pleasing to the eye and nose (physical senses). I resisted and was tempted to take a bite. I was on a suagr-free diet and knew taking such food would be detrimental to my health. I took a nibble of a small gluten free cupcake and spat it out immediately, knowing this was not good for me.  Found myself in bed beside pastry chef. Had my clothes on. He did not. I got out of the bed and took a tent that was on the floor.  The tent rose up, turned into a hot air balloon and levitated out the window.

Insight:

A chef is a symbol that reminds you that you have the ability and freedom to select your life path or direction.  Such an individual trained to understand flavors, cooking techniques, to create recipes from scratch with fresh ingredients, and have a high level of responsibility in a kitchen. This symbol echoes you are ready and in process of taking greater responsibility in the arenas of your own life. This chef symbol represents the progressive deepening of awareness of subtle senses and reclaiming sovereignty in life. 

Pastry can signify indulgence, pleasure and satisfaction.  This can indicate you are enjoying life to the fullest right now and the rewards it's bringing if you are in a comfortable financial, personal and professional position.  It can also imply that a period of decadence is coming to an end so you may expeirence something else.

Ask yourself whether are you indulging too much in your waking hours? The dream could be a warning to you that you need to cut back on something or eliminate it from your life before it's too late (you do irreparable damage). More literally, your food intake and quality might be an issue if you haven't been sustainging yourself with what is good for you

If, you do something that goes against your conditioned ethics or morals, you may have reached a point where these points of reference are up for review.

Tents are temporary homes that echo a free spirit. The hot air balloon implies you are rising above a situation that may evoke pain or discomfort. Hang in there!  

We offer Dream Consultations to explore single and multiple dreams as well as a variety of services including an Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga Course. Contact us.

Dream Analysis of the Week- Cancer & Relief

Dream:

In the dream, my mother had cancer in her lower body and doctors said it was spreading. She was mostly confined to bed and accepted medication. I wanted to know how to heal her disease.  She was disinterested.

Insight:

On a basic level, we cannot control or change others, only how we respond to them.The point of view (beliefs) of the experiencer strongly influences the outcome.   

The scientist would describe an ailment based on his language, conditioning and understanding.  A shaman might tune into deep hurt, longstanding resentment, a deep secret or grief eating away at the self of the client. Those who tune into energy sense cancer emits a vibration that reflects the experiencer holds hatreds or grudges. If disheartened, the experiencer may say, “What’s the use?”

Many people limit sense of things to the physical bosy, that which appears to be born and assumes it will die. This view alone underestimates the power of the mind.  Humans are always affected by the energy of their attitudes.  Someone who has a superiority complex or who is aggressive and violent, is on a downward spiral.  They are weakened in their heart, mind and solar plexus where emotional attitudes are held.  In the Andes, people often attribute an aching stomach to have been caused by sorrow.

People who harbour hatred inevitably experience conflicts with relationships, and imbalances in material world.  All this reflects degeneration on a cellular level.  Evaluating energy centres of the dreamer is often advisable.

The dreamer would be wise to reflect on energy levels, whether there exists a craving for affection or a fear of certain kinds of treatment or environments. What makes you feel excluded or ignored?

We offer Dream Consultations on single or multiple dreams as part of individual sessions or psychotherapy.  We also offer an Astral, Lucid and Dream Yoga Course.

Dream Analysis of the Week- Rats & Relationships

Dream:

My dream was in my old bedroom at my childhood home. My sister was in bed beside me. I was scared of rats getting into the room. I thought they would come thru the skirting boards. My uncle came in checking everything was secure. He could find evidence that they were trying to get in. There were people from work in the room ensuring me that there was no way they could get in. They even pulled up the carpet to show me no holes. I kept looking at the closet thinking they’ll get in thru there. But I look at the floor in the closet and it looked secure. I was terrified. My sister took out a notebook and was adding up sums. She showed me how long I had left to live. I didn’t know why she was showing me this. It was all mathematical calculations.

Insight:

Why fear boredom? it's good when it enters your life. Boredom is a transitional state, a stepping-stone to the next stage of personal growth. If you understand its wisdom, you can use it to fuel self-reflection or spark your creativity or take life in new directions.

Are you "skirting?" Unable to advance specific interests? "To smell a rat" suggests you are convinced someone is trying to deceive you.  Even if you do not initially see proof of this, to focus on negative thoughts can invite in what you do not want.  Are you making something out of nothing? What happens if you pay no attention to bothersome thoughts?  The mind may be playing tricks.  You only experience what aligns with vibrations of love or fear. 

It appears you crave a sense of security, while your current experience echoes you feel unsafe and insecure.  The floor is like the foundation of your beliefs. You may question the basis of your trust. A carpet often echoes sense of warmth, comfort. Notice if you continue to doubt,  then contentment will continue to elude you.

If your "biological clock" is ticking or you feel time is running out to have a family, its not up to others to decide or impose their ideas of what is right for you and when.  Any hole is a two-edged sword: it reminds you that you are whole and complete with or without offspring.  The hole may also echo empliness you feel or low self esteem if you would like to hide your head in a hole. Don't be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, hoping your problems will disappear. Facing, reframing them, is far more effective.

The bedroom is symbolic of the heart. If you close off the heart, fear being vulnerable, it is not open and cannot let anyone in to create a reliable friendship or romantic relationship. Confusion about unresolved feelings, or desire for intimacy suggest you are in process of tapping into and integrating lost childhood memories.  Get intimate with yourself,.  True intimacy in the external follows.

We all have different relationships with our siblings, or sister, from close to distant relationships.  Review your relationship with your sister. How is this changing or how has it changed? How would you like it to change? Do you feel she interferes in your affairs? Do you trust or question her advice? Have reason to trust or distrust?

A dream about your sister (that you do not have a relationship with) may signal your longing for connection and union.  Turns out, in the Bible Proverbs 7:4, it states a foolish woman "does not stay at home". This is sometimes interpreted as a sister who is causing trouble within the family.  One who causes trouble for family may also disrupt your life. Dream dialogue with older sisters sometimes points to our deep-seated desires for reliable advice and unvoiced concerns that go though our mind. We can be the sister we are seeking and see if this mirrors back.  We have opportunity to create a new kind of dialogue. Remind yourself it takes two to tango. How are you growing in her midst? How does she benefit? Does it teach you about avoidance or connection? Or is dialogue strained or non-existent?

We dream of extended family members when we are transitioning away from the expectations or influences of the immediate family. The uncle can represent a new way of going out into the world to provide for ourselves. At the same time, the word 'uncle' is associated with giving in (to "what" & with whom?- meditate).

We offer Dream Consultations on single and multipl dreams as individual sessions or a tool as part of integrative  psychotherapy. We also offer an Astral, Lucid & Dream Yoga Course.  Contact us for details.