10 Ways to give Presence

As the festive season or occasions arise, people often offer physical gifts to others.  Another approach is to reflect on priceless gestures that can be offered not only for special occasions, but also to reinforce connection, acceptance and support everyday. For instance, people want to be seen and heard. Rather than offer 'things,' what if giving full attention is an appealing way to go? Consider 10 Ways to give presence as another kind of present:

1.  Practice Mindfulness

Tune into your physical sensations.  Ground yourself in the now. Feel your feet on the ground, the sensations on your fingers and toes. Be open to your environment. Tune into your senses. Be aware of feelings. Actively check in. Pay attention to your thoughts. Pay attention to how other people in your life are doing. Check in on your loved ones. 

2. Listen Closely

Be present to other people.  Validate their thoughts and feelings. Give them your full attention. Listen without thinking. In addition to verbal communication, use multiple forms of nonverbal communication (eyes, body language, nods when appropriate) to let others know you are listening. Limit splitting your attention between the person and technology. It is hard to tune into others or yourself when you are bombarded with distractions. Be present. Listen to intuition. (Refer to The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan & Barbara Pease)

3. Honour Self-care

Meditate. Ask yourself what you want and need right now. During the holidays people get busy. Take time out for you. If overwhelm arises, step back.  Take a break. Notice when you are Hungry, Angry/Anxious, Lonely, or Tired (HALT). If hungry, don’t get angry—eat. If angry, take some space. If anxious, recognize you control how you feel/ respond. If lonely, connect with nourishing and supportive people or pets. If tired, nap.  Focus on your breath. When you're trying your best to focus, simply take steps to recenter self. 

4. Offer Service

Offering service is about being aware of what brings you joy and sharing the joyful vibration in ways that uplift others. In this way, we can engage in self-care and spend time with those who nourishing us, model both an act of self-care and its value.

5. Be Light-hearted

Spend time having fun by yourself or focus on what evokes light-heartedness.   Play outside—stomp on leaves, make a snowball, get a little wet in the rain, get warm when the sun is out. Be present to how others are doing and if they need a little pick-me-up, have a dance party for a song or two.  Limit the time you spend on social media.

6. Create Boundaries

Set good boundaries. No need to always be a “yes” person.  Modelling boundaries is useful for others to see in your life. This time of year, it can be hard to balance yours and others’ needs. Consider your emotional and physical health in the choices you make and actions you take. You can take a pause before responding to a request, especially a text or email. You can think something over. Boundaries are a two-way street; before you ask someone to do something, consider whether you are asking too much. 

7. Show Appreciation

Keep a gratitude journal. Ask others what they are grateful for. Acknowledge what matters to you. Let people know what you are grateful for them. It is okay to be proud of yourself and let others know when you are proud of them. Uplift others, as well as yourself.

8. Be Kind & Compassionate

Reflect on how you would like to be treated. Do them for another and/ or yourself. Don’t always do for others and neglect yourself. Watch what happens as we are kind for no reason. Remember, even when we get angry with someone, we still love them. Tell the closest people in your life often that you love them. Engage in self-love by telling yourself the same. Write post-it notes of kindness as little reminders. Surprise another person by showing you care.

9. Take a Break from Social Media

Recall what life is like without social media. Communicate with others through a call, a text, or a face-to-face visit. Turn off social media for even a few hours. We rely so heavily on social media that it is nice to do things offline too. Consider something completely natural unrelated to tech. 

10. Pay attention to energy

Notice duality is concerned with opposites. They key to everything is to find and align with balance. This happens as energy is the focus. Its insightful to notice our own triggers as well as ups and downs.  These are gifts we give ourselves. Notice in truth, we are more than every colour in every spectrum and every music note in every octave. Meditation is the path to let go of illusions, reclaim territory from the mind. As senses expand, we register new depth and texture, tune into a growing range of vibration, frequency, sound and light. Paradigm shifts echo changes in intensity, perception and expansion of consciousness. To know the nature of energy is to grow conscious of multidimensionality and blossom into new directions to feel more alive. Energy wisdom is the fountain of immortality.

3 Steps to transform your life

Many people ask what they can do to change their unfulfilling conditions and by extension, alleviate anxiety and intense emotion.  Getting the most out of coaching or mentoring relates to exploring key attitudes or beliefs. Consider 3 questions to get to the root of the matter and consciously transform your life:

Question 1: What do you really want right now?

While each person sees things in unique ways, a satisfying life is commonly based on three things:

• Transforming dreams into reality (getting measurable "results")
• Finding joy in what arises; harnessing power to understand, appreciate existence at the deepest level
• Realizing life is happening through us and for us rather than to us. (taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings as well as our power to change them, change how we respond to the external)

Question 2: What prevents you from having/ getting what you want?

Only three things prevent you from having anything you want:

• You lack clarity about what it is you really want
• You are missing/ unaware of the proven tools and strategies
• Your resistance stands in in the way of allowing  (inner conflicts exist- energy is out of alignment)

The biggest problem for most people is looking for ways to solve their problems instead of focusing on creating the life they want – a life of their own design. For coahing and mentoring to guide you effectively to a new way of being, start with what you want instead of thinking about what you don’t want. (Focus on outcomes)

Question 3: How do you change life in this moment?

An integrated approach can take your journey to the next level so you live the best version of yourself.  This implies you

• come to recognize your own patterns (make the unconccious conscious)
• are willing to take steps to make new choices (step outside the familliar/ break patterns),
• accept a different life is possible for you. 

Create radical forgiveness and self-love

Notice during this journey of human existence, we often encounter challenges, forcing us to confront our shadows and question the dynamics of our relationships. Such experiences can lead us to a renewed sense of freedom and joy, as we uncover valuable lessons from introspection and deep self-work.

Ram Dass inspires us to explore the power of shadow work and forgiveness to feel more harmonious. He echoes all we do, every action and intention, unfolds within the privacy of our heart. This profound truth highlights our innate ability to shape the external world based on our internal landscape. Our thoughts, emotions, and intentions hold immense power, and by cultivating self-awareness, we can consciously create a reality that aligns with our true self.

Shadow work, essential to growth, unveils the hidden aspects of our psyche. It reveals the nature of our shadows, which learn to disguise themselves to fulfill their own needs. These shadows manifest as dysfunction, creating disharmony and disconnect in our lives. Still, shadow work offers us opportunity to recognize these shadow aspects with compassion and understanding.

Sometimes, painful experiences serve as catalysts for deeper self-reflection. A challenging encounter, like a recent exchange with my family about my decisions for my kids' home education, prompted me to question why I am viewed as a "bad person." Despite the initial urge to blame, I realized the power to change the narrative is within me. Understanding that everything is done within the privacy of our own hearts empowers us to explore what needs to shift inside.

Through shadow work, I discovered that my shadows sought to create a world of fear, chaos, and disconnection by projecting my own fears onto others. For years, in seeking acceptance, I unconsciously surrendered my power to those around me. Yet, this realization led me to see I am a loving and compassionate being. Shadows within are responsible for my own perception of dysfunction that manifests externally. By embracing self-love and recognizing our shadows, we can release the need for external validation and reclaim personal power.

To allow our transformation, the practice of surrender is key. Yet this is not giving up or giving in, its about "letting go" of old stories, projections, judgments we carry within. Creating space within our hearts for something new to manifest requires release. Central to this process is the radical act of forgiving self and others. Forgiveness does not always require we involve those we forgive directly. It is an internal process, allowing us to let go of resentment and create healing within. Recognizing that everything we do unfolds within our hearts empowers us to take ownership of our experiences and create positive change.

Shadow work unveils the nature of our shadows, allowing us to address and integrate them with compassion. By releasing the need for external validation and embracing self-love, we reclaim personal power and create a foundation for inner transformation.

Feel into the power of the mantra, "Let go, something magical is about to happen." This mantra beautifully encapsulates the essence of our journey. By surrendering to the flow of life, we create space for something extraordinary to unfold. So, let us release our attachments, embrace the transformative power of shadow work and forgiveness, and allow the magic of life to unfold before us. May we find solace in the privacy of our hearts and embrace the transformative power that lies within us.

Soul view of intense energies

Notice as energies intensify, the common (3D) assumption is that feeling tired, emotional or imbalanced points to stress, strain, over-extending, hidden physical issues or other things "wrong" with us. Yet, the Higher Mind or Soul invites us to see everything differently.

Although being taught to seek quick fixes and advice may be helpful at times, as we tune into Soul, it dawns that our innate abilities allow us to recognize another view: that we are actually recalibrating energetically. We have choices how to respond.- to allow or resist. Where ego sees signs and symptoms evoke fear and negativity, Soul sees them pointing to trust, follow intuition, inner knowing, so we function whole-heartedly by listening to languages of the Soul.

Higher Self or Soul sees our energy, state of mind and conditions, echo our harmony or incongruence with true Being. Resistance to letting go of outdated beliefs, perceptions and life situations, implies we unconsciously perpetuate old ego-driven patterns, including conditioned ways to deny or repress our own needs. Increasingly intense energies reinforce we must address all untruths and denial.

One cannot heal neediness until recognizing what neediness and insecure attachments are, why they emerge within, how they take shape in our relationship with self and others. Only by bravely deconstructing our own self-created illustons can we build a secure foundation that echoes our current state of growth and frequency.

Soul views physical tiredness as a longing for connection and intimacy with those of similar frequencies, something beyond the everyday limited reality we have been taught is real. In this way, our fatigue and intensive energies, point to doorways of new realities. They open as we consciously listen to soul guidance and merge with our Highest Selves. This requires reclaiming our power, making new choices congruent with the frequency of the Highest version of Self.

The Point of Meditation

Notice meditation is about opening the sacred heart or Third Eye. This is not a vestige or organ living in the head. Its a blossoming of awareness that presents based on expanding consciousness. One aspect is not the part of you that identifies the "I" that associates you with the limited physical body. As we examine this first "I" more, it is a mosaic of childhood conditionings used to fulfill agendas that even this "I" does not understand. It does not know what it says and is completely unaware of what is beyond it. The second eye is an entity frozen in time, the Inner Child, the self you were long ago that refuses to dissolve, that runs the show to gain power or sensory gratification that it did not have as a child. It has many different agendas. It is anti-love, or resists love for it knows not what love is. This second eye arose from a sense of rejection. It was created in an environment that was not unconditionally loving. It may not know its gender or whether its alive or dead. Until this unfulfilled or empty ghost is flushed out and seen as it is, it cannot be dissolved. Until then, the second eye perpetuates itself through activities of the first "I" (unbeknownst to the first "I") that projects the second eye in the form of "the other". Things go on with the second eye that the first "I" doesn't know. The second eye enjoys the vex, suffering, self-defeat. To get beyond suffering, you cannot simply analyze the first "I" because the second eye controls the thoughts the first "I" is allowed to retain. The truth keeps falling away, yet it consistently slips away as the first "I". The key is surrendering to the Third Eye, pure awareness, love and the unborn, eternal Self. It sees all. As one turns inward, the first "I" comes to surrender to divine nature and the second eye can be fleshed out, cherished and integrated into the whole. The first outranks the Third Eye. Only as the rightful owner of the mind is allied with the conscious mind can all vexations and unconscious agendas be overruled and absorbed by the Divine. It is not "I" that actually lives within us but Supreme Reality, that which is beyond any name or form. We can point to it but it only reveals itself as we make our way through the winding web of illusions and love ourselves fully. We can surrender to it. If you are meditating and the mind refuses to be quiet, this is simply resisting the ever-present divine within you, the very life of our Being. To surrender through the act of silence can overcome the ani-love force that has created illusion, ignorance and the wheel of reincarnation. Liberation arises as one accepts oneself fully and knows one has been the divine all along.