10 Ways to give Presence

As the festive season or occasions arise, people often offer physical gifts to others.  Another approach is to reflect on priceless gestures that can be offered not only for special occasions, but also to reinforce connection, acceptance and support everyday. For instance, people want to be seen and heard. Rather than offer 'things,' what if giving full attention is an appealing way to go? Consider 10 Ways to give presence as another kind of present:

1.  Practice Mindfulness

Tune into your physical sensations.  Ground yourself in the now. Feel your feet on the ground, the sensations on your fingers and toes. Be open to your environment. Tune into your senses. Be aware of feelings. Actively check in. Pay attention to your thoughts. Pay attention to how other people in your life are doing. Check in on your loved ones. 

2. Listen Closely

Be present to other people.  Validate their thoughts and feelings. Give them your full attention. Listen without thinking. In addition to verbal communication, use multiple forms of nonverbal communication (eyes, body language, nods when appropriate) to let others know you are listening. Limit splitting your attention between the person and technology. It is hard to tune into others or yourself when you are bombarded with distractions. Be present. Listen to intuition. (Refer to The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan & Barbara Pease)

3. Honour Self-care

Meditate. Ask yourself what you want and need right now. During the holidays people get busy. Take time out for you. If overwhelm arises, step back.  Take a break. Notice when you are Hungry, Angry/Anxious, Lonely, or Tired (HALT). If hungry, don’t get angry—eat. If angry, take some space. If anxious, recognize you control how you feel/ respond. If lonely, connect with nourishing and supportive people or pets. If tired, nap.  Focus on your breath. When you're trying your best to focus, simply take steps to recenter self. 

4. Offer Service

Offering service is about being aware of what brings you joy and sharing the joyful vibration in ways that uplift others. In this way, we can engage in self-care and spend time with those who nourishing us, model both an act of self-care and its value.

5. Be Light-hearted

Spend time having fun by yourself or focus on what evokes light-heartedness.   Play outside—stomp on leaves, make a snowball, get a little wet in the rain, get warm when the sun is out. Be present to how others are doing and if they need a little pick-me-up, have a dance party for a song or two.  Limit the time you spend on social media.

6. Create Boundaries

Set good boundaries. No need to always be a “yes” person.  Modelling boundaries is useful for others to see in your life. This time of year, it can be hard to balance yours and others’ needs. Consider your emotional and physical health in the choices you make and actions you take. You can take a pause before responding to a request, especially a text or email. You can think something over. Boundaries are a two-way street; before you ask someone to do something, consider whether you are asking too much. 

7. Show Appreciation

Keep a gratitude journal. Ask others what they are grateful for. Acknowledge what matters to you. Let people know what you are grateful for them. It is okay to be proud of yourself and let others know when you are proud of them. Uplift others, as well as yourself.

8. Be Kind & Compassionate

Reflect on how you would like to be treated. Do them for another and/ or yourself. Don’t always do for others and neglect yourself. Watch what happens as we are kind for no reason. Remember, even when we get angry with someone, we still love them. Tell the closest people in your life often that you love them. Engage in self-love by telling yourself the same. Write post-it notes of kindness as little reminders. Surprise another person by showing you care.

9. Take a Break from Social Media

Recall what life is like without social media. Communicate with others through a call, a text, or a face-to-face visit. Turn off social media for even a few hours. We rely so heavily on social media that it is nice to do things offline too. Consider something completely natural unrelated to tech. 

10. Pay attention to energy

Notice duality is concerned with opposites. They key to everything is to find and align with balance. This happens as energy is the focus. Its insightful to notice our own triggers as well as ups and downs.  These are gifts we give ourselves. Notice in truth, we are more than every colour in every spectrum and every music note in every octave. Meditation is the path to let go of illusions, reclaim territory from the mind. As senses expand, we register new depth and texture, tune into a growing range of vibration, frequency, sound and light. Paradigm shifts echo changes in intensity, perception and expansion of consciousness. To know the nature of energy is to grow conscious of multidimensionality and blossom into new directions to feel more alive. Energy wisdom is the fountain of immortality.