3 Tips to get through rough spots

Every human being is familliar with bumps in the road of life.  These bumps take shape as mental challenges, physical adversity or emotional rollercoasters that involve anger, fear, sadness and grief, shame or intense energies with no labels.  Challenges threaten any facit of your sense of identity; safety, security or stability, mourning (death) or loss of connection.  When ready to step back and see with new eyes and an open heart, reflect on these 5 tips;

1. See everyone as a mirror

Everyone you encounter is inviting you to get intimate with yourself so you understand hidden emotional triggers.  How you respond to people who describe their difficulties (or complain) echoes your relationship with your true self.  Notice what you accept, resist or reject, what evokes self-love or self-loathing. You may hear yourself saying, "what do you mean? I simply wish to offer support or help someone I know going through a rough period in their own life. How do I best do it?" The simple answer is; stop seeing separation between you and other. That is key.

2.  Get grounded

The best way to help others (and yourself) is to help them focus on their bodies and being present to this moment. This is especially useful if you get emotionally triggered by people who focus energy on what perpetuates negativity.  Acknowledge discomfort is part of a process of self-acceptance. It is valuable to shift attention from memories (past) to current situation and blessings in being here.  Grounding helps manage emotional pain because it highlights pain is linked to an emotional memory and has no power to hurt in this moment.  Being here now is a way to reclaim inner power. Pain is physical and suffering is mental.

3. Reconnection

Deepening connection is the ultimate life purpose.  You may assume facing adversity or natural disaster is required to shift priorities, view reality differently. Imagine seeing your stories for what they are, exploring and healing related trauma so it no longer controls your unconscious behaviour or projections.  This invites you to find new meaning or lessons in everyone you meet and every experience you have.  Notice whether you are pro-active or reactive to experience. You can reach a place where you only view problems as a figment of the imagination and watch them miraculously work themselves out.  Watch what happens as you realize any grief or loss you feel is not for a perceived other but a loss of connection with your truest self.  Reconnecting or deepening intimacy with others requires you first get to know yourself, your unconscious patterns and emotions on a very intimate level. Self-mastery is pure freedom.

5 key points on connection

Notice restlessness and discontent are symptoms of disconnection. This goes deeper than the physical disconnection you feel when your mobile phone, computer, internet or other technology is not working on your terms. Maybe you are feeling a range of confusing emotions that disturb peace of mind in relationships or other aspects of reality? What can you do to feel more at ease?

Consider retraining the mind, that is how and what you see as your reality. What happens as you shake up your sense of who you think you are and review discomfort from a different point of view? Ponder these five points about connection. How do your emotions and understanding of what is happening in your world change?

1. The nature of intimacy in your relationships mirrors love, acceptance, intimacy with yourself 
2. No one thing or organism exists on its own (we share the same water, air, light, etc.) 
3. No thing or organism acts on its own (everything is interconnected energy flow)
4. Every organism is a process understood by its actions (motion of allowing or resisting)
5. The behaviour of all organisms is only understood in relation to its environment

This said, reflect on fear, guilt, shame, anger and other examples of emotions you are feeling in relation to specific situations. How are these emotions pointers to another way of being more authentic (or living a mroe authentic life)?

Interview with destiny

Wouldn't it be nice to converse one-on-one with destiny? These questions are an invitation to grow aware of what is driving you: the logical mind, feeling heart or some combination.  Do you self-question and hear no response? Imagine the future or more authentic version of yourself is eager to answer and finally more audible than ever before. 

Q: Peers have big changes happening in their lives. I feel stagnant, stuck. Am I lost or, is there something wrong with me if I am unaware of similar shifts in my life?

Notice comparison is self-judgement or lack of self-acceptance. To sense or focus on what is not happening takes attention away from noticing and thriving on what is. Everyone is on a unique path to seeing and accepting their own greatness and innate genius. Each at his/her own pace.  

Q: Okay, I have the vision. How do to make it happen?

The what is the creative role of the mind and comes before the how. Ego thinks it controls the what, the how and when. Another voice echoes dream-making and dream-finding is an exercise in give and take between the heart- mind.  To assume separation has you think you must force things. Do you think you never do enough? That you are not enough? Just as you cannot force love to happen, you cannot force visions. Surrender guides you into the flow. Similarly, you do not really bake but allow it to rise based on right conditions and what is out of your control.

Q: So, I feel silly talking about my dream. It sounds crazy!  What do I do?

Who or what feels silly or crazy? The ego. Why? Ask yourself what threatens the ego. Focus on the heartfelt version of you that gets excited about the vision and does not doubt or fear. It knows all is said and done.  Keep adding detail to the vision. Where are you? What are you doing? How do people feel around you? Know and feel that its all real and happening. Write it down. Share your enthusiasm. It rubs off! Remember-watch your thoughts: you catch up with what you believe.  Watch your words: your reality emerges from all you express.  Observe your experience: are you living the dream or do your thoughts, beliefs and self-expression echo obstacles exist between you and dreams? What are you choosing to perpetuate: love and harmony in thought, word and action or, fear and disharmony?

Q: I feel purpose-driven. Not knowing my destiny worries me...

Purpose changes at different perceived life stages.  To create an ego identity, you adopt labels and life roles.  Ask yourself to grow aware of who these labels appease. Who holds expectations? Everything mirrors you. Language and behaviour reveal how you feel about yourself. You cannot escape the truth but you can hide for as long as you choose.

Q: Which emotions are safe to feel?

Self-love is reflected in the energy of excitment, belief in yourself, knowing that dreams are realized. Self-doubt, self-hate, self-loathing focus your vitality in self-defeating or self-sabotaging directions.  Although its valuable to recognize and feel all emotions, and explore triggers for the purpose of healing, where you focus attention shapes your experience.  Imagine what a simple change in self perception does. Destiny is not about what you do but who you are, and the degree you accept this in all you present to the world.

Q: When does a person stop seeking destiny?

You decide exactly when seeking stops.  When you stop focusing so much on job-seeking, the perfect opportunities mysteriously find you.  The right person, place or whatever you used to be looking for comes along or presents itself in unexpected ways.  This is about seeing yourself and realting or connecting to everything differently. Its a difference you feel.

Q: What can I do to be more authentic? 

Authenticity is about listening. When you are open to learning more about yourself and why you think and feel as you do, intuition grows louder. It is ever-present, but often overlooked or simply unheard.  Detecting vibes of the heart-mind allows you to notice more synchronicities.  Its up to you what to notice, how to feel and when to act. The flow does not give you the outcome the ego wants; it will not make things necessarily easy for you.  It does not give you what you want but what the soul needs to grow and blossom.

Q: What is intuition exactly? 

Intuition is the language of the Soul. Like any language, one can tune in, block out, forget, remember, learn or unlearn signs and symbols.  They are created and decoded by you.  Imagine yourself as a code-breaker, extraordinary detective, and also one or knows your life vision. You simply join the dots you choose to see. 

How Writing Helped Heal My Divorce

Grace Carter is a woman who has found courage and new life direction as the result of facing marital challenges. As she worked through this adversity, she found energy to realize a dream that she refused to give up.  I am pleased to share her guest post here: 

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful things you can do. Trust me, I've been through it. As awful as it is though, it's possible to come through the other side and still be happy. Here's how I rediscovered writing, and how it's helped me survive and rebuild my life after my divorce.

Rediscovering old hobbies

When I was married, it was hard to find time for the hobbies that used to make me happy. I was an adult, and I had other obligations, such as childcare, and keeping the house while my husband was at work. I spent time with my husband, which was great at first. Hobbies had to take the back burner for now.

When I was married, I would try and take up writing as I had done when I was a teenager. My husband was never supportive though, seeing it as a waste of time. In the end, I hung up my pen for good.

When we separated, though, I rediscovered writing. At first, it was at the suggestion of a friend that I keep my thoughts in a journal. It was cathartic to lay all my thoughts bare in a book where no one else would see them. However, writing started taking over my life.

Writing as a career

When I was married, I was the homemaker while my husband worked. Now I was on my own though, I needed to make ends meet. I wondered if I could write for a living. What with the internet, there had to be a way, right?

After some searching, I came across various freelancing sites like UpWork, Essayroo and Boomessays. I did a little work at first, feeling my way around and working out what I was doing. Soon though, I had a decent sized client base and work coming my way every day.

This was brilliant for me. I could work from home, as all I needed was a laptop and an internet connection. As a busy mother, I could still take care of my children while I was making money. As well as this, I was using my long buried hobby to actually make money. I felt free for the first time since before I'd been married. I was providing for myself, and it felt amazing.

Moving on

After a while, I thought about branching out as a writer. I thought, 'Why don't I write the book I've always wanted to write?' I started writing a novel and soon it took over everything. The book wanted to be written, and I spent every spare moment I had with it.

Writing the book was amazing, but I did run into one problem while I was tapping away. As I wrote, I drew inspiration from all the other books I'd loved as a teenager. When I was finished, I published my book as an ebook. It felt great until I had an email from a lawyer, warning me that my book had plagiarised parts of one of my favourite novels.

It turns out that I'd veered too close to plagiarism by using that book as inspiration. I could have avoided this by using a plagiarism detection tool like Ukwritings, or a citation resource such as AustralianHelp.

Apart from that small hiccup though, writing really helped me survive my divorce. I found out who I was again, and was able to provide for myself. There was no better feeling than being able to do that. I strongly recommend you try writing yourself, even if it's just in a private journal.

Author bio:

Grace Carter is an editor at Big Assignments and EliteAssignmentHelp, writing websites. She works with team of writers and is involved in communications department.  Also, Grace tutors at Academized academic service.  She can be reached here:

Twitter: twitter.com/GraceCarterMe

The genius of adaptive strategies

When you feel that something is not working on your terms or timeline, you may feel frustrated.  Its moments such as these where it pays to reframe events and recognize the genius of your brain's adaptive strategies. Yes! You are a true genius!

In order to gow aware of and accept your own sheer brilliance, it is  valuable to shift focus from negative energy and discomfort to grow aware of what is really going on.   Ever wonder what the signs and signals of your body-mind are saying? Ready to decode them?

Consider the examples of; anger, depression, anxiety, stress, trauma, drug addiction, rashes, and self destructive behaviours and dysfunctional relationships.  Every human being is wired for survival.  The ego exists to self-protect.  This is what the body and mind are up to as you repress, suppress and dissociate from what troubles you. Its part of the strategy.

When ready, you can retrain your brain, your mind as well as your palette for life just as you can shift which foods and flavours appeal to you. It takes time to be attracted to and enjoy foods, behaviours and experiences of what is natural and good without self-judgement. Get ready to embrace a whole new way of existing.  Invite a new level of satisfaction.

From the moment you understand why you do the things you do, you are empowered  to make positive and lasting change.  This applies to not only how you view yourself, but also how you interact in the world.  As you let go and stop wanting things so badly, it seems miraculous yet suddenly, what you need comes to you without effort. Insight to ponder: what does surrender look and feel like in your life? What could it look like as you embrace it more fully?