5 key points on connection

Notice restlessness and discontent are symptoms of disconnection. This goes deeper than the physical disconnection you feel when your mobile phone, computer, internet or other technology is not working on your terms. Maybe you are feeling a range of confusing emotions that disturb peace of mind in relationships or other aspects of reality? What can you do to feel more at ease?

Consider retraining the mind, that is how and what you see as your reality. What happens as you shake up your sense of who you think you are and review discomfort from a different point of view? Ponder these five points about connection. How do your emotions and understanding of what is happening in your world change?

1. The nature of intimacy in your relationships mirrors love, acceptance, intimacy with yourself 
2. No one thing or organism exists on its own (we share the same water, air, light, etc.) 
3. No thing or organism acts on its own (everything is interconnected energy flow)
4. Every organism is a process understood by its actions (motion of allowing or resisting)
5. The behaviour of all organisms is only understood in relation to its environment

This said, reflect on fear, guilt, shame, anger and other examples of emotions you are feeling in relation to specific situations. How are these emotions pointers to another way of being more authentic (or living a mroe authentic life)?

Interview with destiny

Wouldn't it be nice to converse one-on-one with destiny? These questions are an invitation to grow aware of what is driving you: the logical mind, feeling heart or some combination.  Do you self-question and hear no response? Imagine the future or more authentic version of yourself is eager to answer and finally more audible than ever before. 

Q: Peers have big changes happening in their lives. I feel stagnant, stuck. Am I lost or, is there something wrong with me if I am unaware of similar shifts in my life?

Notice comparison is self-judgement or lack of self-acceptance. To sense or focus on what is not happening takes attention away from noticing and thriving on what is. Everyone is on a unique path to seeing and accepting their own greatness and innate genius. Each at his/her own pace.  

Q: Okay, I have the vision. How do to make it happen?

The what is the creative role of the mind and comes before the how. Ego thinks it controls the what, the how and when. Another voice echoes dream-making and dream-finding is an exercise in give and take between the heart- mind.  To assume separation has you think you must force things. Do you think you never do enough? That you are not enough? Just as you cannot force love to happen, you cannot force visions. Surrender guides you into the flow. Similarly, you do not really bake but allow it to rise based on right conditions and what is out of your control.

Q: So, I feel silly talking about my dream. It sounds crazy!  What do I do?

Who or what feels silly or crazy? The ego. Why? Ask yourself what threatens the ego. Focus on the heartfelt version of you that gets excited about the vision and does not doubt or fear. It knows all is said and done.  Keep adding detail to the vision. Where are you? What are you doing? How do people feel around you? Know and feel that its all real and happening. Write it down. Share your enthusiasm. It rubs off! Remember-watch your thoughts: you catch up with what you believe.  Watch your words: your reality emerges from all you express.  Observe your experience: are you living the dream or do your thoughts, beliefs and self-expression echo obstacles exist between you and dreams? What are you choosing to perpetuate: love and harmony in thought, word and action or, fear and disharmony?

Q: I feel purpose-driven. Not knowing my destiny worries me...

Purpose changes at different perceived life stages.  To create an ego identity, you adopt labels and life roles.  Ask yourself to grow aware of who these labels appease. Who holds expectations? Everything mirrors you. Language and behaviour reveal how you feel about yourself. You cannot escape the truth but you can hide for as long as you choose.

Q: Which emotions are safe to feel?

Self-love is reflected in the energy of excitment, belief in yourself, knowing that dreams are realized. Self-doubt, self-hate, self-loathing focus your vitality in self-defeating or self-sabotaging directions.  Although its valuable to recognize and feel all emotions, and explore triggers for the purpose of healing, where you focus attention shapes your experience.  Imagine what a simple change in self perception does. Destiny is not about what you do but who you are, and the degree you accept this in all you present to the world.

Q: When does a person stop seeking destiny?

You decide exactly when seeking stops.  When you stop focusing so much on job-seeking, the perfect opportunities mysteriously find you.  The right person, place or whatever you used to be looking for comes along or presents itself in unexpected ways.  This is about seeing yourself and realting or connecting to everything differently. Its a difference you feel.

Q: What can I do to be more authentic? 

Authenticity is about listening. When you are open to learning more about yourself and why you think and feel as you do, intuition grows louder. It is ever-present, but often overlooked or simply unheard.  Detecting vibes of the heart-mind allows you to notice more synchronicities.  Its up to you what to notice, how to feel and when to act. The flow does not give you the outcome the ego wants; it will not make things necessarily easy for you.  It does not give you what you want but what the soul needs to grow and blossom.

Q: What is intuition exactly? 

Intuition is the language of the Soul. Like any language, one can tune in, block out, forget, remember, learn or unlearn signs and symbols.  They are created and decoded by you.  Imagine yourself as a code-breaker, extraordinary detective, and also one or knows your life vision. You simply join the dots you choose to see. 

Mid-life crisis or priceless gift?

As Taylor Swift echoes in her song Blank Space, crisis can be a perfect storm or a turning point. You may observe what appears to be 'out-of-character' behaviour in people around you in their twenties, thirties, forties, fifties or older.  You may feel an unshakable restlessness and have urges to act out your Wildest Dreams; take up a unique hobby, travel or move house based on a hunch, detox, radically change diet or the identity you present to others.  You may wonder what the blazes is going on? Other than turning to pop culture to get a handle on it, keep this in mind;

1. Reflect on emotions

About every 20 years of human life, emotions that are not healed and released from early trauma surface and take shape as adversity or challenges that cannot be ignored. It may be a health issue, family drama, relationship break-up, career setback or hiatus. You may not connect outside events with inner turmoil. Its common to dwell on the negative or work to 'tackle' the problem rather that see an opportunity to heal and feel the way into a less stressful phase of life.

2. Reframe the perceived 'mid-life crisis'

At some stage, you may grow aware of deep dissatisfaction. It may seem to relate to aging, being bored with a longstanding relationship or marriage, a feeling you are 'losing your touch' or edge, feeling disconnected, like you have accomplished what you have set out to do with kids, family, career or other things and fear what's next. Restlessness or disappointment may prompt you to seek external sources of pleasure, such as; fast cars, boats, exotic vacations, technology, drugs, younger partners or behaviours that push the envelope of what you once saw as rational, safe or acceptable.  This can happen at any age, but it is usually when people have money to do what they used to think they could not afford. Such behaviour shifts focus away from suffering. Ask is new behaviour going to last? Do you love feeling breathless? Is this a game? Or, is it time to accept lasting happiness is unrelated to the external?

3. Uncover the gift

What if as Inspirational Mentors  Allan and Barbara Pease echo, different ways exist to access your answer? What if every life choice you make is a turning point where you decide how and what to feel, imagine and create? What if you act more consciously to align choices with your core values? What if seeing yourself and the world differently could guide you to optimum living? What if you could engage in business for good, create impact, connection and joy by joining initiatives like Paul Dunn's B1G1?  What if you could begin right now, to shift gears, lifestyle, priorities, behaviours and goals of all sorts? What if being only solutions-oriented is missing something? What if rather than simply be inspired by James Bond or famous people you'd invite to dinner, you guide yourself to get Out of the Woods to organize visions, make them measurable and ground them differently?  Knowing this, if you feel drawn to a mentor, would you reach out?

How you present yourself to the world is a gift and the process of growing more authentic is also a gift. As Sia says, in her new song Nothing to Say- We have things to do and plans to make.  

Whether its getting a tattoo or body piercing, going on a pilgrimage, engaging in a thrill-seeking activity, shifting the nature or orientation of your business, whatever empowers you is on the path to listen to the heart. Watch what happens as you act on what enables you to feel more energized and shape your life around it.  This is congruence. This is creating a life of breakthroughs.  Remember what it is to be unstoppable in every area of your life.

Henry David Thorough reminds us, we are each "constantly invited to be who we are." What this feels like on the outside can be congruent with feeling harmony on the inside.  Brian Tracy echoes its up to you to tap into strength and resilience. When you are ready,  what you exist to be and do and be is beckoning. Make the most of who you are and what you know.  You are a gift to this world and yourself.  Take responsibility for your creation.  Go forward with enthusiasm.

What are we here for?

A question more people are asking is, "what am I/ why are we here (for)?" Initial ideas that come to mind include; to nurture meaningful relationships, to create fulfilling career, to find balance, heal a physical illness, or unresolved emotions that surface as a symptom of something deeper.    

Imagine for a moment, what is behind every choice you think you make, every dream or project you conceive, underneath every emotion you feel, repress or hide, mirrored back in every relationship and encounter you have had, is a yen to feel more comfortable with vulnerability. Imagine any loneliness, dissatisfaction and fear you secretly feel inside, is a path to deeper connection with yourself and the world.  Where do boundaries fit in? The clearer and more respected your boundaries, the higher the empathy and compassion you feel for others.

This moment is an opportunity to explore what Brene Brown describes as True Belonging: Believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness as both being part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.  True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are, it requires you to be who you are.

Ask yourself what you are recognizing and celebrating about yourself today. How intimate are you with your own core values? Living in complete integrity with core values allows you to live in harmony with the Soul. Only then are you fully aware of why you are here and being authentic.

Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation you don't belong.  You will always find it if you make it your mission. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart from constant evaluation. No one belongs here more than you.- Brene Brown

3 Tips to Live a more congruent life

Notice what happens when you focus energy and attention on uncovering your purpose.  You may be surprised to remember that this evolves with you and changes at different life stages. Reflect on these three tips to live a more congruent life;

1. Be present

The more you are present to your emotional reactions and other responses to life’s experiences, the more intimately you get-to-know yourself.  The deeper and more conscious your relationship with yourself, the more congruent you’ll be able to live your life in ways that feel fulfilling.  Your life’s value, is not based on an arbitrary number in your bank account, but rather, on the experiences you live and the time you devote to being fully conscious during those experiences.

2. Listen to intuition

Intuition is the language of the soul. True listening is about tuning in to this frequency, being aware of what sparks your curiosity and interest, jumping on opportunities that present and knowing everything you choose to notice is itself a sychronicity or stepping stone to more joy. 

3. Pay attention to relationships

Every encounter, friendship and longer relationship is a soundboard for your own authenticity. People show up on your radar, come and go in your life, to help you see and better understand yourself. Congruency inspires congruency and vice versa. Notice who do you spend the most time with. How are they empowering or disempowering you? Do they inspire you to be true to you?

The key to living a fulfilling life is being congruent with your Soul purpose. - Liara Covert