13 Benefits of facing your inner shadows

The inner shadow can be viewed as aspects of our true self we come to reject.  We resist these parts of our personality and do not allow ourselves to see them. When we, as children, internalize messages in our subconscious, they can take shape in adult life as emotional triggers. We may tell ourselves we do not know why we react as we do. Yet, a hidden part does know. We often make choices out of fear.

For instance, if one of your shadows formed around speaking your truth, when people around you speak openly and honestly, this may evoke restlessness, resentment, even terror. You may feel threatened but unclear as to why, and disregard the emotions and discomfort.

Upon deeper self-reflection, hiding your feelings may be an unconscious strategy to avoid suffering. It may point to a fear of safety or survival. This may cause you to stop speaking up, to decide your feelings are unimportant, that you are unlovable, invisible or flawed. Such misperceptions arise from denying shadows.

Consider 13 Benefits of facing your shadows:

1. Grow aware of your triggers

Noticing triggers is a step to joining the dots between your thoughts, feelings. They offer clues to where a sense of  wholeness is fractured. They remind us that it is our thoughts about the way things should be that make our lives difficult or uncomfortable.  People we encounter will continue to press our buttons until we realize what it is we do not wish to know about ourselves, yet.  They guide us to our source of freedom.  Any situation that evokes discomfort is what we seek, an entrance into a lost or unseen part of ourselves.

2. Re-activate your feeling centres

Many people have lost touch with their inner truth. They forget what it feels like. You may be conditioned to doubt or second guess true feelings. When taught to favor the left brain hemisphere, we favor the logical, rational role modelling or social beliefs and behaviours we have been given. We may downplay or devalue our right brain and creative capacities or "other ways of seeing" outside the conditioned comfort zone. This may relate to society's ideas of which life decisions "are best for us." Left-brain ideas are ego-based. Focusing on external advice or ignoring signs and signals of our bodies loses touch with the feeling truth or inner harmony unrelated to ego.

3. Stop being overly optimistic

Being overly optimistic suggests we are missing part of the bigger picture. When we only see the good, we reject aspects of self. Sometimes we are taught to be overly positive and avoid the negative.  Avoidance is a defense mechanism and reveals something is missed. As you notice a tendency to favor the positive, shadow-work is useful.  Ignoring things increases their density. Look at recurrent nightmares. What we resist, persists to invite us to make the unconscious, conscious.  Manifestations of what you reject grow stronger. If you resist your dark side, it grow more solid, takes shape in ways you cannot ignore.

4. Realize you could be right, or could be free

As you explore deeper reasons for anger and fear, this can trigger moments of awakening that lead to greater authenticity, creativity, and emotional freedom. Finding pleasure in the way things are, rather than the way you think they should be, inspires others to act in ways that surprise us. being open to deeper insight into yourself accelerates self- growth.

5. Let go of desires for love, approval & appreciation

As we disconnect from feeling centres and subtle senses, this is like overriding our inner knowing.  As we face the sense of conflict that arises, we begin to recognize that any desires we hold are unnecessary.  That is, we are what we are seeeking. This is the beginning of letting go of desire for love, approval and appreciation because it dawns we are never missing anything.

6. Recognize spiritual bypassing

In the case that we justify going against our feelings by saying "this is an exercise in uncondicional love & forgiveness," this may turn out to be a case of spiritual bypassing (SB).  SB is  is like any other form of avoidance that rewards us with a false feeling of security and happiness, while undermining our deeper path of self-growth and transformation. John Welwood coined the term, 'spiritual bypassing' to mean: "the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks." Making the unconscious conscious is part of spiritual integration.

7. Integrate heart and soul

Bringing uncomfortable issues to the surface is helping to realize that emotions only have a hold over us when we allow it. Timeless practices such as meditation, mantras, sacred geometry, journalling, automatic writing, dream journalling and immersing in nature help us to integrate the deepest desires of the heart and soul. This draws our attention to any illusions of separaton we perpetuate in thought, word and deed.

8.  Rebuild inner trust

Imagine the case where you befriend someone and they seem like one type of person and then later reveal they behave in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. If you trust your feelings, and are true to yourself, that friendship may diminish or disappear from your life. Whereas if you go against your inner compass, you are eroding the trust you have in yourself.  

9. Strengthen listening 

In life, there may be occasions where you feel unheard or ignored by people at work, in family or even in passing.  Being aware of feeling ignored is tuning into deeper  reasons and buried feelings of resentment and sadness about being devalued.  As you live more based on feelings, your being feels more heard and the external world reflects this back.

10. Sharpen intuition

Intuition is the language of the soul, your essence.  Living fully requires tuning in and living soely based on intuition without over-riding our inner knowing.

11. Jumpstart self-rediscovery 

Until deep self-reflection happens, you may spend a great deal of time researching, creating or changing a sense of purpose and not really feel a sense of lasting clarity or direction. Purpose may simply be related to  skills or experience you seem to have and overlook internal cues. Self-discovery only happens when you are tuned into your feelings. 

12. Unleash inner genius

To become the best version of you, and truly free of what holds this back from realizing inner genius, the path involves uncovering and integrating your inner shadow aspects. They undermine your transformation into into the physical. Call if your soul's destiny or whatever you like.  The most authentic version of you already exists but it is up to you to take steps to experience transfiguration. Every being has a unique path.

13. Accept yourself fully

Accepting who you are at the core involves living in alignment. Every journey to complete self-love is unique. Some paths can involve soul retrieval.  The key is to walk the Path and know situations that present only change from the moment we have learned and integrated what those energies or lessons have to teach us. Accepting yourself fully allows you to turn inward and experience the peace that already exists within.  That peace is immovable, unmoving, ever-present.

Contact us to explore shadow-work on a whole new level

5 Ways to live joyfully

As long as suffering exists inside us, we cannot live life fully. It is up to each of us to identify the sources of  suffering in our lives. Only then can we accept, release and replace that life view with genuine joy and celebration. Consider 5 ways to decode setbacks and live more joyfully.

1.  Identify our inhibitions

When we are self-conscious, we are unable to act in a relaxed or natural way. Getting to the root of our hesitation or doubt is key to moving beyond it and existing in a higher-vibrational state.

2.  See the underlying reasons for suffering

Everything arises and disappears in the mind. Anxiety arises as we focus attention on the future, worry about an imagined outcome. Depression arises when we focus on ideas of the past.

3.  Be fearless 

This involves looking at each moment as fresh and new. It is about undertaking all endeavours with enthusiasm and an optimism, knowing everything is possible when we set the mind to it.

4.  Be passionate

No best thing exists to do or be.  We simply make judgements and choices. Being passionate, putting our heart into all we choose to focus on, uplifts and energizes us and all we touch.

5. Love everything

When conditioned, we see the world in terms of limitation. A genius is drawn to do what is needed joyfully. It is no more about you. Self-cosnciousness shifts to selflessness. This is a limitless way of looking at life.

12 Dimensions of Success

Over the years, I am repeatedly asked for steps or advice to assist people to feel more fulfilled or attain greater success   This guided me to create the inspirational mentor interview thread and inspirational mentor articles to encourage connection, dialogue, encourage transparency so more people gain insight from unique paths.  Over 5000 self-development articles exist here. Contact us to submit article topics and seminar ideas. We appreciate all your valuable contributions.

In addition, I also offer workshops where I explore the process of optimum living in more detail.   This draws on insights of my 13th book now in process. Take your life to a whole new level by participating in one of our group events in 2019.  The life shifts you experience speak for themselves.  I share huge shifts I have experieced as the result of healing unconscious patterns, shifting perception, and retraining the mind.

For now, as a gift to yourself, ponder these 12 dimensions that shape your experience of success:

1. Clarify your version of success

Be as detailed as possible. Its sets the stage for the journey. Notice little is accomplished with tears alone or complaining about where you are not or, being frustrated about what you are not doing. Get practical: look at multiple life areas: personal, professional, spiritual, community, and others.  (Refer to: Self-Disclosure: Changes from Within for sample questionnaires). Where do you ideally envision yourself? What do your loved ones say? What are you willing to choose or what drives you over everything? What if you could be a pioneer? Do what your heart years for? What is it that truly stretches and inspires you? What do you wish more than anything else? Maybe this takes shape as a bucket list: things 2 before you leave this world. Next stage make three columns in terms of priorities (A=short term, B=medium term, C= someday)

[***during my workshop, I reveal my lists, how visiting 65 countries and doing unique and daring things has happened as well as what remains for me to create, manifest and download to translate in this world] 

2.  Empty the Mind

While reflecting on your response to the above, empty the mind of negativity. Do a brain dump of what limits or prevents you from moving forward.  We tend to adopt beliefs of people in our midst, unconsciously decide what is and is not good for us, all unconsciously before taking action. Write all examples of self-defeating or self-sabotaging thoughts running through you that discourage you, echo self-doubt, cause you to feel unworthy or to forget everything is possible. Take a close look at beliefs you are allowing to run you.   Every time you lie to yourself, decide to call yourself on it. Grow aware of the lies. Its the only way to transcend them.   Jot down examples where you transcend your own self-sabotage.

3.  Think less, Feel More

Following the title of one of my ebooks, I invite you to feel your way to your own solutions.  If money was not an obstacle, if your perceived doubts and mental clutter dissipated, how would you feel the way into new contributions to this world? What does this revised version of success look/ feel like? Imagine no limits, being heart-centred and service-driven. You can create your own fairytales by feeling the way into blessings and all that uplifts you. Notice the focus on feeling energy shapes your life. Allow yourself to feel the way into optimum living, well-being, and clarify new peak experiences. Create a new point of reference for yourself. Raise the bar higher. Why tell yourself you must work toward intermittent peak experiences? Why not instead convince yourself everything is part of the same peak experience you fragment with the mind?

4. Access hidden genius

Regardless of your evolving vision of success, inviting external guidance helps expand awareness so you reclaim inner power.  Mentors, coaches, inspirations, teachers,  all empower you to recall what matters, encourage you to push the limits of your talents and access your hidden genius.  This is about listen to the heart more closely. As you shift your understanding of what is possible and go for it, do what people do not expect, you have no reason to give up.  Sometimes people seem to stand in your way as if to discourage you. Take note of who does this, how it makes you feel. Do not allow them to hide you from your larger self. Remind yourself these are projections of your shadow. As you make the shadow conscious, self-defeating patterns no longer control you. You laugh at your genius.

5. Align with your Soul

Although we may identify what it is that nurtures and energizes us inside, we are often conditioned to talk ourselves out of things.  It can seem hard to take the steps necessary to be true to yourself, listen to intuition.  To live in harmony and inner peace, your thoughts, beliefs and actions all align.   As you grow aware of how you hold yourself back, it hits you can retrain the mind. Affirmations, mantras, meditations and other techniques assist you to feel what it is to be authentic.  Then, step back from what you are doing, and recognize how authentic you feel where you are.  You know better than anyone how you feel. Be brave: listen, act on the heart. 

6. Connection

Sometimes blood relatives support and encourage us in our heartfelt pursuits.  Other times, they discourage us, do not understand ius or, cannot relate to our motivation. We each choose who to listen to or ignore. Edna Buchanan echoes: Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. Most of us know what discomfort or restlessness feels like.  It is part of our journey to grow more discerning of external opinion in relation to our own intuition.  We choose role models and mentors. Be like Alice from Alice in Wonderland, who says, Sometimes I believe in as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast! (See Transform your Life: 730 Inspirations) Maybe nobody has done what you dream? Who inspires you to connect  with yoruself and the world in ways nobody has done before?  

7. Build confidence

Some where along the journey, we come to believe we are inadequate or do not have what it takes to realize our true potential. On some level, this invites yo uto get in touch with the undelrying reasons for your fears so you can access more of your own innate fearlessness. Identify events, experiences, conditions that ingrained your fear.  Where do you recall becoming a coward? Make this conscious and change the energy. 

8. Deal with fear of success

Deep down, you may fear people may be jealous of you if you realize dreams.  You may already have examples of where those you encounter do their best to criticize you and tear you down.  This draws attention to issues of self-worth, superiority and inferiority and the underlying fear of vulnerability.  Now is the moment to get in touch with yoru shadows on a whole new level.

9. Be congruent

Incongruence is allowing yourself to live and act based on fear.  Congruence is acting based on love. As you act from a place of love, you grow aware of a Soul purpose.  Act from this place, and what you offer the world is service-oriented rather than (ego) self-serving. You trust yourself more deeply and people and opportunities in the world naturally show up.  Synchronicities are easier to see.  As you grow aware of unconscious blocks and clear up what is out-of-alignment in your life, your evolving vision can manifest with much more ease.  You understand the energy flow behind change and dreams happen/ manifest quicker.

10. Follow intuition

You may find yourself intuitively drawn to focus time and energy into endeavours that do not make conventional business sense, but resonate and strike you as something that is part of a larger picture or transformation. You may also feel criticized for listening to your heart and not following the status quo.  You may feel called to download or share what feels daunting to you.  Freedom means feeling hiow you want to feel and knowing it feels perfect.  It means wearing what you want to wear, expressing what means the most without fear of persecution, punishment or repercussions.  Sometimes followign dreams, leads us to leave country of birth, entourage or environment to a more suitable place to allow freedom of self expressions.  This is a reminder that what and who you need always comes to you.  Its up to you to take the next step.

11.  Exercise the imagination

Notice the imagination has no boundaries but those you choose to create. You may brainstorm or free draw that which comes to you about yourself.  Have no preconceived ideas of the meaning.  Allow that to arise within you later. Notice Thomas Edicon was inspired by something to create the lightbulb.  he nearly flunked out of primary school and was repeatedly told he was stupid before later being called a genius. Some people believe Alexander Graham bell downloaded the idea for the telephone from the ethers in a dream.  It takes courage to  stand up for what you feel is right.  Yet, if you do not believe in yourself, why would anyoen else?

12. Do the unthinkable

Seize this moment to design the world you imagine existing in.  Go further than simply thinking up a career change, new relationships or environments that match ego desires. Challenge yourself to re-imagine the world from the inside out.  Imagine no karma.  What is unfolding as you are Mastering Time? The building blocks are love and compassion rather than fear and anger. Go further than simply being the conductor of the Sunrise and Sunset like in The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. As co-creator, all is possible.

The power of the universe will come to your assistance if your heart and mind are in unity. -White Buffalo Cat Woman

Interview with destiny

Wouldn't it be nice to converse one-on-one with destiny? These questions are an invitation to grow aware of what is driving you: the logical mind, feeling heart or some combination.  Do you self-question and hear no response? Imagine the future or more authentic version of yourself is eager to answer and finally more audible than ever before. 

Q: Peers have big changes happening in their lives. I feel stagnant, stuck. Am I lost or, is there something wrong with me if I am unaware of similar shifts in my life?

Notice comparison is self-judgement or lack of self-acceptance. To sense or focus on what is not happening takes attention away from noticing and thriving on what is. Everyone is on a unique path to seeing and accepting their own greatness and innate genius. Each at his/her own pace.  

Q: Okay, I have the vision. How do to make it happen?

The what is the creative role of the mind and comes before the how. Ego thinks it controls the what, the how and when. Another voice echoes dream-making and dream-finding is an exercise in give and take between the heart- mind.  To assume separation has you think you must force things. Do you think you never do enough? That you are not enough? Just as you cannot force love to happen, you cannot force visions. Surrender guides you into the flow. Similarly, you do not really bake but allow it to rise based on right conditions and what is out of your control.

Q: So, I feel silly talking about my dream. It sounds crazy!  What do I do?

Who or what feels silly or crazy? The ego. Why? Ask yourself what threatens the ego. Focus on the heartfelt version of you that gets excited about the vision and does not doubt or fear. It knows all is said and done.  Keep adding detail to the vision. Where are you? What are you doing? How do people feel around you? Know and feel that its all real and happening. Write it down. Share your enthusiasm. It rubs off! Remember-watch your thoughts: you catch up with what you believe.  Watch your words: your reality emerges from all you express.  Observe your experience: are you living the dream or do your thoughts, beliefs and self-expression echo obstacles exist between you and dreams? What are you choosing to perpetuate: love and harmony in thought, word and action or, fear and disharmony?

Q: I feel purpose-driven. Not knowing my destiny worries me...

Purpose changes at different perceived life stages.  To create an ego identity, you adopt labels and life roles.  Ask yourself to grow aware of who these labels appease. Who holds expectations? Everything mirrors you. Language and behaviour reveal how you feel about yourself. You cannot escape the truth but you can hide for as long as you choose.

Q: Which emotions are safe to feel?

Self-love is reflected in the energy of excitment, belief in yourself, knowing that dreams are realized. Self-doubt, self-hate, self-loathing focus your vitality in self-defeating or self-sabotaging directions.  Although its valuable to recognize and feel all emotions, and explore triggers for the purpose of healing, where you focus attention shapes your experience.  Imagine what a simple change in self perception does. Destiny is not about what you do but who you are, and the degree you accept this in all you present to the world.

Q: When does a person stop seeking destiny?

You decide exactly when seeking stops.  When you stop focusing so much on job-seeking, the perfect opportunities mysteriously find you.  The right person, place or whatever you used to be looking for comes along or presents itself in unexpected ways.  This is about seeing yourself and realting or connecting to everything differently. Its a difference you feel.

Q: What can I do to be more authentic? 

Authenticity is about listening. When you are open to learning more about yourself and why you think and feel as you do, intuition grows louder. It is ever-present, but often overlooked or simply unheard.  Detecting vibes of the heart-mind allows you to notice more synchronicities.  Its up to you what to notice, how to feel and when to act. The flow does not give you the outcome the ego wants; it will not make things necessarily easy for you.  It does not give you what you want but what the soul needs to grow and blossom.

Q: What is intuition exactly? 

Intuition is the language of the Soul. Like any language, one can tune in, block out, forget, remember, learn or unlearn signs and symbols.  They are created and decoded by you.  Imagine yourself as a code-breaker, extraordinary detective, and also one or knows your life vision. You simply join the dots you choose to see. 

4 Questions from Stephen R. Covey

Everyone has access to the exact same wisdom within themselves. What differs is the pace and path taken to open our eyes, wake up, expand perception, shift to do and be what matters most.

It is said that everyone is lost until they grow aware and tap into that special something that naturally allows joy to flow within. Focusing here on this thing consistently, aligning thoughts, words and actions with this is the key to existence.  Yet, how can one really know what this is?

Take a moment to reflect on who inspires, guides you to grow more intimate with yourself.

Perhaps Stephen R. Covey is one inspirational mentor who jumps into mind. Renowned leadership authority, family expert, teacher, organizational consultant, and co-founder of FranklinCovey Co., he is author of several international bestsellers.  He was a master teacher because he was first a master student. 

Dialogue, interactions and relationships created his school of life without walls.  He admitted he never presented new concepts but succinctly put information together and synthesized it for people. His books include The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Powerful Lessons in Personal Change) & The 8th Habit (From Effectiveness to Greatness) and First Things First.

In a book called A Time Conscious Life,  a compilation of his insights, four questions stand out:

*What questions can you ask yourself to keep learning (&/or unlearning or letting go)?
*What knowledge can you gain by asking the right questions?
*What life changes can you make by embracing the knowledge you discover?
*What discipline is needed to make those changes part of your true character?

Allow yourself to surrender, feel the way into the next chapter of your life.  When you stop fighting yourself,  and listen to the heart, you soon realize so much more than what you think exists and beckons you to branch out.  Go ahead-expand into more of your gifts and true genius.