Dr. Liara Covert

Breathwork Psychotherapist
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Sunshine Coast, Queensland 


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« Dale Beaumont & interview to inspire dreams | Main | Read the mind of the opposite sex »

5 Ways to strengthen self-worth

Human beings are conditioned to be dishonest with the self. This nurtures a misconception of being unworthy. Suddenly, you are caught between what you feel and what is taught you 'should' do. Unaware, you suppress the true self.  Intution tells you the truth. You decide to listen or ignore inner knowing.

From a young age, the body is suddenly viewed as an enemy, something to be mistrusted and subdued. Many people learn to deny themselves intuition, natural urges, choices that feel good or right. It grows desirable to control and unthinkable to surrender. How can everyone learn to strengthen self-worth?

1) Accept that self-esteem is a choice. Reasons explain why you feel as you feel at a given moment. You either reinforce what you know in your heart or, choose to obscure that as part of a process of learning lessons. No matter what the perceived rules in a given environment, you experiment with expressing desires. You define boundaries. You take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings or, you do not.

2) Learn you are completing unfinished business. Every moment, you are learning to love and accept yourself differently. The key issue is learning to love without guilt, to give and receive selflessly. As human beings choose to explore core feelings without judgment, they enrich awareness, relationships, self-mastery and connections with everything.

3) Be aware behavior patterns are energy cycles. Every thought and action transforms existing energy.  This is a perspective of consciousness where infinite circles are interconnected in a moving kaleidoscope of life forms and formless states. You never leave an energy cycle you do not complete. Residual energy from positive or negative thoughts stays with you to manifest situations.  How you view energy determines if you know vicious circles or reasons for joy.

4) Learn to love and explore yourself in peace. To accept and affirm your own sexuality, self-valuing and caring instincts, you create a foundation for additional layers of self-acceptance.  To recognize where you repress certain instincts or, why you feel uptight, helps you move through that.

5) Recognize thought energy is multi-dimensional. When you feel good about something and you listen to that, you think moreabout that. The resulting positive energy reverberrates in other areas of your life. You begin to sense blessings wherever you are, regardless of conditions. You begin to realize how you think affects your personal life, work, spiritual or religious perspectives, and other situations. You know everything and everyone are deeply interconnected.

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Reader Comments (20)

Energy is amazing. I believe I actually stave off sore throats, head colds and flu by thinking thoughts of physical well-being. I have not really been sick in many years, as compared to my younger years. When I first feel a little tickle in the back of my throat or an intiial kind of "run-down" feeling, I rest and think thoughts of lightness.

I wonder how much of it has to do with choosing to send loving energy to my body to keep me feeling well. Or how much is actually due to my frequent (almost OCD,) hand-washing.
May 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJannie Funster
Jannie, you already know the answer you seek. Developing the right attitude and open-mindedness is always possible. People often unconsciously block their ability to recall inner knowing. Part of you does not want to know the truth about yourself. This is sometimes viewed as a repressive ego defense mechanism. Every moment, soul sends messages to encourage you to awaken to full potential. Part of you resists. Other parts do surrender.
May 27, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Liara there is great synchronicity here as I have devoted the past few days to exactly this topic - the self, the intuition and following your inner guidance (especially with the most recent movie review I had a chance to do).

It is so true, from a young age we are taught to move away and disregard our own amazing built-in guiding system. Knowing this however, I do not dwell on what was done, instead I take great joy in knowing that should I ever have a child, s/he will be reminded of this from day one - to know and trust in themselves and at all times to know that they ARE worthy and so worthy indeed!
May 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvita
Evita, learning to release conditioned misunderstandings is a process. Certain misplaced ideas about the self can be deeply ingrained. People tend to resist change. Yet, the power of intention is considerable. One can change anything, everything or nothing. This all occurs from within. You may very well appreciate a book called Maps to Ecstasy: Teachings of an Urban Shaman (1989) by Gabrielle Roth. Check out the listings in a local library.
May 27, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hi Liara,

These are some powerful words! So many times, I meet people who are doing intuitive work who had to learn to accept this ability since we are so often conditioned not to acknowledge this aspect of ourselves. I think the more that people do the sort of work that you are doing, perhaps the more people will start to wake up and live happier lives! Thank you for what you do.

By the way, I named you my Hump Day Hero this week so be sure and check out my latest post. It's all about YOU!
I love your opening, this is such an important realization. We are confused at a very young age and we do choose to ignore what is innate and follow what is taught and by doing so we get caught up in living a lie which tears us apart. Excellent post!

BTW - your site will still not accept my URL as valid, not sure what is up with that.
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMark
Energy and thought are two powerful components of my life. I'm amazed how hard it is to shift some of my thoughts that don't serve me, but I'm elated when new perspectives and new energy take form.
Amy, its very generous of you to choose to write about me. As you imply, a healthy self-view is like a launching platform for other levels of developing self-awareness. Compassion means giving soul what it needs. This is not necessarily the same thing as giving ego what it tells you that you consciously want. Take the idea of melancholy. It is not compassionate to talk yourself out of feeling sad because every feeling serves you. Choosing to sense the core of different feelings helps you learn to recognize and understand why then, move through and rise above them.
May 28, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Dear Liara,

It is interesting, I was thinking of writing about honesty today. The thoughts haven't fully come together yet.

Thank you for spending so much time strolling through my stories and leaving all of those lovely comments. There are two more stories that I think you might enjoy, The Dream of Lost Souls (true story) and Anxiety Dreaming (only partly fiction, yours may be the book that I was looking for).

Something that you wrote struck me as both very true and very useful to grasping the meaning from experiences, "Perceived time is irrelevant to soul." I was having difficulty understanding, why I had certain extremely open and aware moments that I could reproduce or build on. It would only make sense to build upon these experiences if there were a timeline to them.

How did you find me?
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterButternut Squash
Hi Liara,

I have often wondered what makes people feel unworthy. Is it something inside of them or do they "learn" that behavior? We are constantly faced with inward journeys that bring us to conclusions about ourselves that can be unflattering. We must learn to 'unlearn' what may have gotten lodged in our consciousness somewhere along the way. Love is the answer to all of life's questions.
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlexys Fairfield
Mark, I will look into the URL issue and get your site link added. Unsure what is up with that. Chelone, the Turtle goddess, is a spirit of silence. She may be invoked by those who require silence as well as those who have been silenced in some confusing way. Her assistance may help solve the technical issue. Spirits often awaken dormant answers inside self, remind us how to be discerning.

As for living a lie, human beings shroud their own lives in mystery as an effort to teach themselves to remove the obscurity. It sounds curious, but learning curves teach in form and formless states. Opening the senses changes everything. Each soul is his own ultimate guide to truth.
May 28, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Butternut Squash, I found your blog through Caroline and The Zen in You. Pilgrimages like yours fascinate people. Some people feel like they know certain places even without visiting them. Some people sense deja-vu when they finally experience a physical place of wonder. Some people live vicariously through travellers or, create their own conscious pilgrimages. In reality, ever human being is energy on a journey of transformation. Depending on your spiritual beliefs and dream travel experience, you may be intimately aquainted with many places in ways the conscious mind and physical body has yet to understand.

I am grateful for your blog story suggestsions. Thanks!

My new book invites readers to embark on different kinds of personal journeys. To hear an excerpt of me reading, scroll over "Self-Disclosure Book" on the top of this page. One drop down box there says, "Video." Additional info pages on this book can be accessed on the right. This is a work in progress. Additional material is being added. Amazon.com also has a written excerpt available.
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiara Covert
Alexys, as you mention, love is the ultimate answer. Human beings are still learning what this really is. From a young age, infants are conditioned to recall what feels good and are taught what is right or wrong. As the psyche develops, it creates misunderstandings that are reinforced and perpetuated until a soul chooses to awaken.
May 28, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
thank you for visiting me today. :) I needed read this blog today as I am starting my six month of unemployment (after being laid off). Self esteem issues always come into play these days.
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercharlane
Charlane, everything that happens to you can be viewed as a blessing. My new book "Self-Disclosure: Changes from Within" contains stories and life experience you would appreciate. Your local library may purchase a copy. Unemployment can be viewed as a blessing in disguise. Suddenly, you have unexpected freedom to create the life that resonates with you. As you learn to confront fear, you discover benefits where you are. Start by listing as many as you can. This will help to raise your spirits. Your post inspires the next post. Come back and visit us again.
May 28, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hi Liara,
I feel deeply connected right now to your fifth point - the idea of thought energy being multi-dimensional. I'm finding this to be powerfully true in my life right now, and as I allow myself to fully experience this, to not hold back - I do feel my sense of self-worth strengthened - even in the face of others not fully accepting what I'm portraying - I still feel a deep sense of being right where I need to be...
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLance
Lance, human beings feel and read energies on different levels even if they do not visualize colors in examples like auras and fields.People sense the pull toward situations that feel right or, are tempted for reasons that do not serve them. As you choose to believe in yourself, you choose to listen more closely to intution. Froma that standpoint, you realize many lessons exist to be learned. Self-worth is the choice to accept what you gain from every moment, even if the sensation or experience defies words or seems immeasurable. You are grateful, period.
May 29, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Stacey, shifting energy vibration begins with the power of your own intention. This is strengthened with more conscious choices. Consistency comes with practice. To believe you can do something overlooks the fact you already are. Change your thoughts and consciousness opens wider than you ever thought possible.
May 29, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert
Hi Liara,
Such as powerful words; I sure related to them. I mostly agree with (3) Be aware behavior patterns are energy cycles. My energy and 'mood' tend to be contagious. When I feel excited and animated, people sense my energy and get caught in it: they become more active. But the contrary also occurs. When i am depressed, other get depressed as well. Unlike positive energy, negative energy tends to increase 10x fold. So I try to look for the bright side of the dark side.

I agree with Mark "we do choose to ignore what is innate and follow what is taught," We are constantly been told to suppress our instincts that we usually forget who we are. As a consequence, we are confused most the the time
May 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmaya-Ran
Amaya-Ran, it is useful to remember its a choice to be confused and a choice to selectively remember who and what you are. External conditioning trains you to assume certain behviours are better than others. In reality, right and wrong do not exist. You make choices based on awareness of what helps you right now. How you view self begins and ends inside. Every moment, you awaken to what matters and slowly detach from thinking in ways that no longer serve you. Every experience has a purpose.
June 1, 2009 | Registered CommenterLiara Covert

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