Emotional links to physical issues

In her book, Heal Your Body, Louise Hay has published a listing of dis-ease conditions of the body and the probable emotional causes that she felt would lead to eventual physical dysfunction. Here are a few samples from her list that may help you identify key areas of emotional buildup that may be manifesting in your body:

List of Dis-ease Conditions

A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A
Abdominal Cramps: Fear. Stopping the process.
Abscess: Fermenting thoughts over hurts, slights and revenge.
Accidents: Inability to speak up for the self. Rebellion against authority. Belief in violence.
Aches: Longing for love. Longing to be held.
Acne: Not accepting the self. Dislike of the self.
Addictions: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love self.
Adrenal Problems: Defeatism. No longer caring for the self. Anxiety.
Alcoholism: Feeling of futility, guilt, inadequacy. Self-rejection.
Allergies: Denying your own power.
Alzheimer’s: Refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and helplessness. Anger.
Amenorrhea: Not wanting to be a woman. Dislike of the self.
Anemia: “Yes-but” attitude. Lack of joy. Fear of life. Not feeling good enough.
Ankle: Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.
Anorexia: Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection.
Anxiety: Not trusting the flow and the process of life.
Apathy: Resistance to feeling. Deadening of the self. Fear.
Appetite, Excessive: Fear. Needing protection. Judging the emotions.
Arm: Represents the capacity and ability to hold the experiences of life.
Arteries: Carry the joy of life.
Arthritic Fingers: A desire to punish. Blame. Feeling victimized.
Arthritis: Feeling unloved. Criticism, resentment. – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Feeling victimized. Lack of love. Chronic bitterness. Resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Asthma: Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.
Athlete’s Foot: Frustration at not being accepted. Inability to move forward with ease.

B
Back Issues: Represents the support of life. Back Problems: – Rounded shoulders: Carrying the burdens of life. Helpless and hopeless. – Lower Back Pain: Fear of money or lack of financial support. – Mid-Back Pain: Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back!” – Upper Back Pain: Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. – Back Curvature: The inability to flow with the support of life. Fear and trying to hold on to old ideas. Not trusting life. Lack of integrity. No courage of convictions.
Bad Breath: Anger and revenge thoughts. Experiences backing up.
Balance, Loss of: Scattered thinking. Not centered.
Baldness: Fear. Tension. Trying to control everything.
Bedwetting: Fear of parent, usually the father.
Belching: Fear. Gulping life too quickly.
Bell’s Palsy: Extreme control over anger. Unwillingness to express feelings.
Bladder Problems: Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being “pissed off”.
Bleeding: Joy running out. Anger.
Blisters: Resistance. Lack of emotional protection.
Blood Pressure: – High: Longstanding emotional problem not solved. – Low: Lack of love as a child. Defeatism.
Body Odor: Fear. Dislike of the self. Fear of others.
Bones: Represent the structure of the universe. – Bone marrow: Represents deepest beliefs about the self. How you support and care for yourself. – Breaks: Rebelling against authority.
Brain: Represents the computer, the switchboard. – Tumor: Incorrect computerized beliefs. Stubborn. Refusing to change old patterns.
Breast: Represents mothering and nurturing and nourishment. – Cysts, Lumps: A refusal to nourish the self. Putting everyone else first. Over mothering. Overprotection. Overbearing attitudes.
Breath: Represents the ability to take in life. – Breathing Problems: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Getting stuck in childhood. Fear of taking in life fully. – Bronchitis: Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling.
Bruises: The little bumps in life. Self-punishment.
Bulimia: Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred.
Burns: Anger. Burning up. Incensed.
Bursitis: Repressed anger. Wanting to hit someone.

C
Calluses: Hardened concepts and ideas. Fear solidified.
Cancer: Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds.
Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.
Canker Sores: Festering words held back by the lips. Blame.
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Anger and frustration at life’s seeming injustices.
Cataracts: Inability to see ahead with joy. Dark future.
Cellulite: Stored anger and self-punishment.
Cerebral Palsy: A need to unite the family in an action of love.
Chills: Mental contraction, pulling away and in. Desire to retreat.
Cholesterol: Clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy.
Circulation: Represents the ability to feel and express the emotions in positive ways.
Colds: Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.
Colic: Mental irritation, impatience, annoyance in the surroundings.
Colitis: Insecurity. Represents the ease of letting go of that which is over.
Coma: Fear. Escaping something or someone.
Conjunctivitis: Anger and frustration at what you are looking at in life.
Constipation: Incomplete releasing. Holding on to garbage of the past. Guilt over the past. Sometimes stinginess.
Corns: Hardened areas of thought – stubborn holding on to the pain of the past.
Coughs: A desire to bark at the world. “Listen to me!”
Cramps: Tension. Fear. Gripping, holding on.
Crohn’s Disease: Fear. Worry. Not feeling good enough.
Crying: Tears are the river of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear.
Cuts: Punishment for not following your own rules.
Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.
Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”

D
Deafness: Rejection, stubbornness, isolation. What don’t you want to hear? “Don’t bother me.”
Depression: Anger you feel you do not have a right to have. Hopelessness.
Diabetes: Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.
Diarrhea: Fear. Rejection. Running off.
Dizziness: Flighty, scattered thinking. A refusal to look.
Dry eyes: Angry eyes. Refusing to see with love. Would rather die than forgive. Being spiteful.
Dysmenorrhea: Anger at the self. Hatred of the body or of women.

E
Ear: Represents the capacity to hear. – Ache: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Household arguing.
Eczema: Breath-taking antagonism. Mental eruptions.
Edema: What or who won’t you let go of?
Elbow: Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences.
Emphysema: Fear of taking in life. Not worthy of living.
Endometriosis: Insecurity, disappointment and frustration. Replacing self-love with sugar. Blamers.
Epilepsy: Sense of persecution. Rejection of life. A feeling of great struggle. Self-violence.
Epstein-Barr Virus: Pushing beyond one’s limits. Fear of not being good enough. Draining all inner support. Stress.
Eye: Represents the capacity to see clearly past, present, future. – Astigmatism: “I” trouble. Fear of really seeing the self. – Hyperopia: Fear of the present. – Myopia: Fear of the future.

F
Face: Represents what we show the world.
Fainting: Fear. Can’t cope. Blacking out.
Fat or Weight issues: Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment. – Arms: Anger at being denied love. – Belly: Anger at being denied nourishment. – Hips: Lumps of stubborn anger at the parents. – Thighs: Packed childhood anger. Often rage at the father.
Fatigue: Resistance, boredom. Lack of love for what one does.
Feet: Represent our understanding – of ourselves, of life, of others. – Foot Problems: Fear of the future and of not stepping forward in life.
Fever: Anger. Burning up.
Fibroid Tumors: Nursing a hurt from a partner. A blow to the feminine ego.
Fingers: Represent the details of life. – Thumb: Represents intellect and worry. – Index: Represents ego and fear. – Middle: Represents anger and sexuality. – Ring: Represents unions and grief. – Little: Represents the family and pretending.
Food Poisoning: Allowing others to take control. Feeling defenseless.
Frigidity: Fear. Denial of pleasure. A belief that sex is bad. Insensitive partners. Fear of father.
Fungus: Stagnating beliefs. Refusing to release the past. Letting the past rule today.

G
Gallstones: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride.
Gas: Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas.
Gastritis: Prolonged uncertainty. A feeling of doom.
Genitals: Represent the masculine and feminine principles. Worry about not being good enough.
Gland Problems: Represent holding stations. Self-staring activity. Holding yourself back.
Gout: The need to dominate. Impatience, anger.
Glaucoma: Stony unforgiveness. Pressure from longstanding hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.
Gray Hair: Stress. A belief in pressure and strain.
Growths: Nursing those old hurts. Building resentments.
Gum Problems: Inability to back up decisions. Indecisive about life.

H
Hands: Hold and handle. Clutch and grip. Grasping and letting go. Caressing. Pinching. All ways of dealing with experiences.
Hay Fever: Emotional congestion. Fear of the calendar. A belief in persecution. Guilt.
Headaches: Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear.
Heart: Represents the center of love and security. – Heart Attack: Squeezing all the joy out of the heart in favor of money or position. Feeling alone and scared. “I’m not good enough. I don’t do enough. I’ll never make it.” – Heart Problems: Longstanding emotional problems. Lack of joy. Hardening of the heart. Belief in strain and stress.
Heartburn: Fear. Fear. Fear. Clutching Fear.
Hemorrhoids: Fear of deadlines. Anger of the past. Afraid to let go. Feeling burdened.
Hepatitis: Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage.
Hernia: Ruptured relationships. Strain, burdens, incorrect creative expression.
Herpes Genitalis: Mass belief in sexual guilt and the need for punishment. Public shame. Belief in a punishing God. Rejection of the genitals.
Herpes Simplex: Bitter words left unspoken.
Hip: Carries the body in perfect balance. Major thrust in moving forward. Fear of going forward in major decisions. Nothing to move forward to.
Hives: Small, hidden fears. Mountains out of molehills.
Hodgkin’s Disease: Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no substance left to support itself. The joy of life is forgotten in the race of acceptance.
Hyperactivity: Fear. Feeling pressured and frantic.
Hyperventilation: Fear. Resisting change. Not trusting the process.
Hypoglycemia: Overwhelmed by the burdens in life.

I
Impotence: Sexual pressure, tension, guilt. Social beliefs. Spite against a previous mate. Fear of mother.
Incontinence: Emotional overflow. Years of controlling emotions.
Indigestion: Gut-level fear, dread, anxiety. Griping and grunting.
Infection: Irritation, anger, annoyance.
Inflammation: Fear. Seeing red. Inflamed thinking. Anger and frustration about conditions you are looking at in your life.
Influenza: Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.
Ingrown Toenail: Worry and guilt about your right to move forward.
Injuries: Anger at the self. Feeling guilty.
Insanity: Fleeing from the family. Escapism, withdrawal. Violent separation from life.
Insomnia: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Guilt.
Intestines: Represent assimilation and absorption.
Itching: Desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied. Remorse. Itching to get out or get away.

J
Jaundice: Internal and external prejudice. Unbalanced reason.
Jaw Problems: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

K
Kidney Problems: Criticism, disappointment, failure. Shame. Reacting like a child.
Kidney Stones: Lumps of undissolved anger.
Knee: Represents pride and ego. Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.

L
Laryngitis: So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.
Left Side of Body: Represents receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother.
Leg: Carry us forward in life.
Liver: Seat of anger and primitive emotions. Chronic complaining. Justifying fault-finding to deceive yourself. Feeling bad.
Lockjaw: Anger. A desire to control. A refusal to express feelings.
Lump in the Throat: Fear. Not trusting the process of life.
Lung: The ability to take in life. Depression. Grief. Not feeling worthy of living life fully.
Lupus: A giving up. Better to die than stand up for one’s self. Anger and punishment.
Lymph Problems: A warning that the mind needs to be recentered on the essentials of life. Love and joy.

M
Malaria: Out of balance with nature and with life.
Menopause Problems: Fear of no longer being wanted. Fear of aging. Self-rejection. Not feeling good enough.
Menstrual Problems: Rejection of one’s femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the genitals are sinful or dirty.
Migraine Headaches: Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life. Sexual fears.
Miscarriage: Fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.
Mononucleosis: Anger at not receiving love and appreciation. No longer caring for the self.
Motion Sickness: Fear. Bondage. Feeling of being trapped.
Mouth: Represents taking in of new ideas and nourishment. Set opinions. Closed mind. Incapacity to take in new ideas.
Multiple Sclerosis: Mental hardness, hard-heartedness, iron will, inflexibility.
Muscles: Resistance to new experiences. Muscles represent our ability to move in life.
Muscular Dystrophy: “It’s not worth growing up.”

N
Nails: Represent protection. – Nail Biting: Frustration. Eating away at the self. Spite of a parent.
Narcolepsy: Can’t cope. Extreme fear. Wanting to get away from it all. Not wanting to be here.
Nausea: Fear. Rejecting an idea or experience.
Neck: Represents flexibility. The ability to see what’s back there. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness, inflexibility. Unbending stubbornness.
Nephritis: Overreaction to disappointment and failure.
Nerves: Represent communication. Receptive reporters.
Nervous Breakdown: Self-centeredness. Jamming the channels of communication.
Nervousness: Fear, anxiety, struggle, rushing. Not trusting the process of life.
Neuralgia: Punishment for guilt. Anguish over communication.
Nodules: Resentment and frustration and hurt ego over career.
Nose: Represents self-recognition. – Nose Bleeds:A need for recobnition. Feeling unnoticed. Crying for love. – Runny Nose: Asking for help. Inner crying. – Stuffy Nose: Not recognizing the self-worth.
Numbness: Withholding love and consideration. Going dead mentally.

O
Osteomyelitis: Anger and frustration at the very structure of life. Feeling unsupported.
Osteoporosis: Feeling there is no support left in life. Mental pressures and tightness. Muscles can’t stretch. Loss of mental mobility.
Ovaries: Represent points of creation. Creativity.
PQ
Pain: Guilt. Guilt always seeks punishment.
Paralysis: Paralysing thoughts. Getting stuck. Terror leading to escape from a situation or person.
Pancreas: Represents the sweetness of life.
Pancreatitis: Rejection. Anger and frustration because life seems to have lost its sweetness.
Parasites: Giving power to others, letting them take over and life off of you.
Parkinson’s Disease: Fear and an intense desire to control everything and everyone.
Peptic Ulcer: Fear. A belief that you are not good enough. Anxious to please.
Phlebitis: Anger and frustration. Blaming others for the limitation and lack of joy in life.
Pimples: Small outbursts of anger.
Pituitary Gland: Represents the control center.
Pneumonia: Desperate. Tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal.
Poison Ivy: Allergy Feeling defenseless and open to attack.
Polio: Paralysing jealousy. A desire to stop someone.
Premenstrual Syndrome: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.
Prostate: Represents the masculine principle. Mental fears weaken the masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.
Psoriasis: Fear of being hurt. Deadening the senses of the self. Refusing to accept responsibility for our own feelings.

R
Rash: Irritation over delays. Immature way to get attention.
Right Side of Body: Giving out, letting go, masculine energy, men, the father.
Ringworm: Allowing others to get under your skin. Not feeling good enough or clean enough.

S
Scabies: Infected thinking. Allowing others to get under your skin.
Sciatica: Being hypocritical. Fear of money and of the future.
Scleroderma: Protecting the self from life. Not trusting yourself to be there and to take care of yourself.
Scratches: Feeling life tears at you, that life is a rip off.
Senility: Returning to the so-called safety of childhood. Demanding care and attention. A form of control of those around you. Escapism.
Shin: Represents the standards of life. Breaking down ideals.
Shingles: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and tension. Too sensitive.
Sinus Problems: Irritation to one person, someone close.
Skin: Protects our individuality. Anxiety, fear. Old, buried things. I am being threatened.
Slipped Disc: Feeling totally unsupported by life. Indecisive.
Snoring: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns.
Solar Plexus: Gut reactions. Center of our intuitive power.
Sores: Unexpressed anger that settles in.
Spleen: Obsessions. Being obsessed about things.
Sprains: Anger and resistance. Not wanting to move in a certain direction in life.
Sterility: Fear and resistance to the process of life or not needing to go through the parenting experience.
Stiffness: Rigid, stiff thinking.
Stomach: Holds nourishment. Digests ideas. Dread. Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.
Stroke: Giving up. Resistance. Rather die than change. Rejection of life.

Stuttering: Insecurity. Lack of self-expression. Not being allowed to cry.
Sty: Looking at life through angry eyes. Angry at someone.
Suicidal thoughts: See life only in black and white. Refusal to see another way out.

T
Teeth: Represent decisions. – Teeth Problems: Longstanding indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. – Root Canal: Can’t bite into anything anymore. Root beliefs being destroyed. – Impacted Wisdom Teeth: Not giving yourself mental space to create a firm foundation.
Throat: Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity. – Throat Problems: The inability to speak up for one’s self. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change. – Sore throat: Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self.
Thrush: Anger over making the wrong decisions.
Thymus Gland: Feeling attacked by life. They are out to get me.
Thyroid Gland: Humiliation. I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn. – Hyperthyroid: Rage at being left out.
Tics, Twitches: Fear. A feeling of being watched by others.
Tinnitus or Ringing in the Ears: Refusal to listen. Not hearing the inner voice. Stubbornness.
Toes: Represent the minor details of the future.
Tongue: Represents the ability to taste the pleasures of life with joy.
Tonsillitis: Fear. Repressed emotions. Stifled creativity.
Tuberculosis: Wasting away from selfishness. Possessive. Cruel thoughts. Revenge.

U
Urinary infections: Pissed off, usually at the opposite sex or a lover. Blaming others.
Uterus: Represents the home of creativity.

V
Vaginitis: Anger at a mate. Sexual guilt. Punishing the self.
Varicose Veins: Standing in a situation you hate. Discouragement. Feeling over-worked and overburdened.
Vitiligo: Feeling completely outside of things. Not belonging. Not one of the group.
Vomiting: Violent rejection of ideas. Fear of the new.

WXYZ
Warts: Little expressions of hate. Belief in ugliness. – Plantar Warts: Anger at the very basis of your understanding. Spreading frustration about the future.
Wrist: Represents movement and ease.

12 Steps to be more aware

Breathwork guides us to be conscious or more aware of what is really going on in different life areas. Reflect. Where can we bring “consciousness” into our lives before, during and after breathwork? This is about paying closer attention to the signs and signals and underlying meaning of our health and body language, mental thoughts, emotions and spiritual views in our lives.  Ponder 10 steps to allow more awareness into our lives;

1. Reflect on life patterns.  Do we see trends, assume genetic disposition or inclinations in the state of our physical health and fitness, finances, similar partners or relationships, repeated environments or spirituality?This is about feeling the way into life areas and growing aware of the beliefs, values and practices that are shaping our conditions.

2. Experience breathwork. Various breathwork modalities make use of scientific research available to us about effects of levels oxygenation on our organism. These modalities use special breathing techniques, which support increasing or decreasing levels of oxygen in our body to achieve a desired result. When guided by a skilled facilitator with proper training, intention and context, breathwork has a potential to release the effects of unresolved traumas, thus supporting healing of our physical organism and psyche. Breathwork can prevent an onset of debilitating and potentially life-threatening trauma-related diseases. Check out Interview with Dan Brule.

3. Connect goal-setting with motivation. What can we do to align behaviour and visions? What is our unconscious programming? What are our dreams versus our reality?  Where do we wish to commit? Consider ways to stay motivated when new to breathwork by Ashley Neese.

4. Grow conscious during regular activity – while engaging in communication, exercising, eating, having sex, sports, gardening, being in nature, driving, walking. What prompts us to think or act as we do? What are we noticing? Does a sense of separation bwteen ourselves and the external world grow or shrink?

5. Connect restlessness & inauthenticity. When something feels right, we do not hold back or complain. If self-doubt arises, or we question our decisions and choices, then it likely doesn't jive with who we are. Being in integrity means taking responsibility for how we think and feel and finding courage to make life changes when we are not in harmony with our true nature.

6. Get clear on what it feels like to be conscious. Notice when we are “present” or “tuning out,” when our senses are engaged, and when we are numb.  Addictions and other unconscious behaviours are examples of tuning out due to fear, hurt or pain. To know what consciousness is/feels like, we are taught to experience what it is not. Learning The science and purpose of different breathwork techniques can ease fears as we ease into practise.

7. Know growing conscious unleashes power. This inner power enables us to make positive change or cosnciously respond and influence outcomes. We grow aware we hold power to experience a deeper level of fulfillment and joy, the power to be natural or unnatural, as well as to consciously co-create and choose.

8. Let go of conditioned habits and impulses.  Growing conscious of self-defeating habits means being aware they do not serve our highest potential and happiness. There is so much to pay attention to in life, it is easy to go on “autopilot,” to go unconscious. We are taught to multi-task as well as suppress or deny pain.

9. Choose 3 unconscious activities.  Over the next week, purposefully bring “consciousness” to these mind-less activities. This is about being present and feeling what this is. By practicing “being present to the NOW” during these activities, we expand consciousness.

10. Explore resistance. Choose a subject.   Explore it with curiosity, brainstorm words or images nd notice emotions. Allow the bod-mindy to reveal possible reasons.  Do a breathwork meditation to explore deeper reasons for the resistance. If you have a history or insight into specific trauma and would prefer a private session, consult me or another practitioner for a for trauma release.

11. List what we appreciate. Write down 25 things you appreciate. Expand consciousness about what is inspiring and a blessing in our lives. We can do this daily, weekly or as often as we choose. This includes noting inspirations like Max Storm whose Ted Talk teaches us to Breathe to Heal and Giten Tonkov whose 2019 book Feel to Heal, reveals how and why he founded the Biodynamic Breathwork Trauma Release (BBTR) Institute.  

12. Journal repeating thoughts and beliefs. Jot down repetitive thoughts, those that trigger suffering as well as uplifting or inspiring ones. Do this without judgement. Awakening to our mental condition is growing aware of patterns.  What to do with/about our observations is up to us. Engaging in a therepautic breath experience with a teacher like Christian Minson helps us override the mental suppression of emotions. We can transform destructive energy into joy and love. Watch: breathwork: our original medicine. "Realisation is like flipping a light switch.  The darkness vanishes as if it had never been. We can choose to bring it back in."

Breathwork shifts habits

Maxwell Maltz had us believe we only need 21 days to change a habit. Other research, such as a 2009 study by Phillippa Lally, a health psychology researcher at UCL, entitled ‘How long does it take to form a habit’, found that on average it takes 66 days for a habit to become ingrained.

What is often left out in therories is that conscious intention required as well as a knowing or conscious intelligence as to why habits, often viewed as negative, arose in first place. Many habits are addictions. Cathartic Breathwork is one spiritual technology of awakening that effectively uncover unconscious details.  Consider 7 Steps to breathe more consciously.

Meditation and breathwork techniques purify the chi and consciousness on the level responsible for these habit streams.  No seminar series or weekend retreat is as effective. Breathwork can transform self-perception. To purify the mind and body, we must purify the sixth consciousness by cultivating emptiness and detaching from the other five consciousnesses. This is the only way to make a lasting change in perception, personality and behavior.  The key is to see things energetically, to shift into the consistent vibration of self-love and acceptance.  Feeling better is within reach of everyone.

Interview with Vishnu of Vishnu's Virtues

In the process of reflecting on why we do the things we do, its helpful to draw our attention to underlying principles that drive us. Self-respect, dignity and honour sit at the top of my list. Yet, I was not always so clear. We are often reminded life's apparent obstacles are the Path to getting to know ourselves better and seeing with more clarity.    

As part of awakening to elements of a more authentic life, and shifting to walk the talk, universal principles often guide me.  Synchronicity led me to meet Vishnu of Vishnu's Virtues. His popular self-help blog and books help people who have had difficult relationships heal their break-up and find love again.  I appreciate that he speaks from direct experience and is speaking his truth from the heart.  During this interview, I invite taking a closer look at messages about harmony or disharmony in our own lives:

Thank you so much for this interview opportunity. I am looking forward to it!

Please share what you do and what brought you to this point in your life...

I was born in the East and grew up in the West between two cultures. Like many “good kids” with immigrant parents, I followed the path that was designed for me and that society told me to follow. I finished my law degree, got a job in the legal field, got married and bought a house.

That is a common story. Many parents model a certain life and we are taught to find our place in their existing paradigm.  As restlessness arises, we are invited to ask why.  Tell us what prompted you to break away, and to embark on another Path.

 If I had followed the path that had been promised to me, then everything should have worked out and I should have lived happily ever after. That quite didn’t happen and instead, everything fell apart. When life falls apart, we can fall apart or we can start a blog... 

Funny. This reminds me of the film Julie & Julia with actresses Amy Adams and Meryle Streep.  The is based on Julie Powell's autobiographical book: 524 Recipes: 365 Days.  The protagonist decides to spice up her life by blogging on cooking her way through a Jullia Child cookbook.  By listening to her heart, the blogger develops quite a following.

Share insight into pivotal events that shake you up, cause you to face fears. How do such experiences prompt us to make lasting life change? 

Without question, my divorce was one of the most life-changing, pivotal and sacred moments in my life. As Debbie Ford has said, “ Divorce becomes a holy moment when you choose to use it as a catalyst for having an extraordinary life.” For me, I think divorce was a wake up call to thoroughly examine every part of my life and recreate my life from the ground up. I started making life choices and career choices more consciously.

That sounds tough, and yet, adversity also often makes us stronger.  Beautiful flowers are known to grow out of the mud. How about painting us a picture: feel the way through the difficulty... 

This may sound a bit gruesome, but it feels like being a lonely ghost in a cemetery at night. Imagine a ghost who didn’t’ know how he got there and didn’t know where all the other ghosts were. So you’re lonely, it’s dark and it feels like death all around you!

This reminds me of that classic 1965 film The Sound of Music with Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer.  Unsure if you know it? Anyway, during the film,  Mother Superior (and later 'Maria') says, "When the Lord Closes a Door, somewhere he Opens a Window..." The divine message here is to simply trust in what is coming. Can you relate to that?

Definitely! The good part about darkness is that you know it won’t be night time forever. The day will surely come and the sun will rise again. 

Hallelujah! How did you find the Path back to yourself and what matters?

I found my way back to myself by forgetting about the outside world and focusing on my inner world. I found my way back to myself by getting clear on what I wanted out of life, determining what I valued and remembering the feelings that I wanted to have in my life on a daily basis. I thought about the life I wanted ahead of time before going about creating it. Often we do  the opposite.

That's a great lesson and invite for everyone.  I mean, how many people are really clear on their purpose, their priorities and actually live by them consisently?

Not yet eveyone...

Exactly! Sometimes it takes adversity to shake us up and wake us up. (See also my Interview with Kerrie Atherton about Stories of Hope)

What does happiness mean and feel like in your personal life? What are some practical things people can do to experience more personal happiness?

My biggest suggestion is to figure out what makes you happy and do that ahead of time. One way to be happy is to live in alignment with who you are.

Excellent point! How would you suggest our readers uncover this?  

One way to know who you are is to do the internal work of asking yourself who you are, why you’re here and what you want. A simple way to tap into this is to figure out what brings you happiness on a daily basis. Pay attention to which experiences and conditions evoke joy in you.

The simplicity of paying closer attention really resonates. We can only answer our own questions by being honest with ourselves.  What other guidance can you offer here?

I also invite people to reflect on what they gravitate towards. That offers many clues to who you are and what brings you purpose.  

So true! We each give ourselves little messages about changing purpose but we do not always choose to listen...

Where do the Soul and soulful living come into this? How does soul healing affect relationships? 

When your external circumstances fall apart, you are invited to align more with your soul. When you become more aligned with your soul, you can live your life more fully.  Most of us live the life we think we want without making any connection to what our soul desires. 

So, if I get what you are saying, waking up leads us to ask more conscious questions.  

Yes. We see more clearly and hear what we may have already been saying but we were not ready to hear it until now.

Being present is so important. What are the most significant relationship lessons you have learned?

I give myself permission to ask: what does my soul want? I think the biggest lesson that I’ve learned is that when relationships fall apart, you invite yourself to go within. Your greatest soul realization and discoveries are waiting for you when your heart breaks. 

That moment when we allow ourselves to feel the pain of a broken heart is also the moment we let light in, that is, hear and consciously feel the light of our own innate understanding. Its like a wake up call that we exist to love and feel.

Thsi said, many people feel discouraged about their relationships or lack of them. Please share some advice with our readers to guide positive life change. 

Without question, the most important thing you can do for your relationship is improve the relationship you have with yourself.  Only then, can you make headway when actively working on relationships with others.

Please be more specific...

 Improving the relationship you have with yourself requires self-acceptance, self-compassion and improving your own self-worth. I believe that if you improve this relationship then all other relationships around you will improve. I truly believe that the relationship you have with yourself is the one that’s going to manifest around you. The way you treat yourself is likely how you will treat others. Improve the way you treat yourself and I promise that you will treat others better and be in relationship with someone who treats you better.

Thanks for drawing attention to the mirror principle. The external reality we each experience is indeed a mirror of the inner not vice versa. Growing conscious of this makes it less likely to be affected by external conditions. It also implies we are ready to take increasing personal responsibility for how we think and feel. Is that not so?

Agree very much.

You have written books on relationships. Which tips or techniques make a relationship last?  Which strategies or views can you suggest to help people pinpoint what really matters in their partnerships? 

I believe that the skill that makes a relationship last is how you create the relationship you have with yourself. We tend to treat others the same way we treat ourselves. So if you want to improve your relationship with others, watch how you’re talking to, treating and feeling about yourself. The way you treat and speak about yourself is what you’re likely doing to others. A couple ways to make relationships last is to speak more to each other about what you both want from the relationship and work on forgiving each other more quickly. I’ve discovered that we tend to imagine what we want without expressing out loud to each other! Also, grudges and resentments never lead to a healthy relationship so the sooner you speak about it, forgive it and come to terms with something, the stronger you can make your relationship.

If you had to identify the role of faith  and trust in your life, what role do each play? 

When I went through my divorce, I stopped believing in God and inquired if God was listening. I even wrote a book about it, Is God Listening? https://www.vishnusvirtues.com/books/is-god-listening/  My understanding about God, the universe and forces beyond is that we aren’t listening.

We aren’t trusting what we’re hearing from God, the universe or ourselves.

And if we sense God, the universe, ourselves, are all one in the same, and we ignore one, we do not hear any and do not feel heard either. Its all a  pointer to what or whom is not listening?

Definitely. If things are not working, we must ask the question, 'not working for whom or according to whom?' (which brings us face to face with beliefs and conditioning). 

Would you say then that unhappiness suggests we are not listening to the part of ourselves that knows what is best for us?

You could put it that way. I know I learn to trust myself more and realize the forces outside of us have their own intelligence. I stop making demands on it to make my life a certain way. I trust that the universe knows what’s best. I do my part but surrender to the universe to do it’s part.

Absolutely! Letting go and surrender are valuable lessons. 

In addition, if you’re looking for a partner, take action to find a partner and trust you’ll find one but don’t push or control the universe to do it faster or force it to produce someone who isn’t right for you. Trust that the universe knows best.  

Love yourself like you wish to be treated is a great take away. Setting an example is attracting what is best.

What do you value highly or believe in with all your heart? How does this energy or life force help make things happen?

I know that the universe is working on my behalf to help me discover who I am and help me live in alignment with it. I believe that we have to force things to happen less and let life guide us more. As smart as we think we are, the universe knows best. I’ve stopped making wishes for my birthday of things that I want and instead ask for guidance and wisdom to trust the universe to lead the way. It’s a cosmic dance and we each need to lead and follow. If we lead and follow, we are tripping the universe up!

People often speak about what they want yet do not seem to have in their lives. What from your experience, causes people to discover the truth behind their relationships and patterns?

I think the biggest lesson that people can take away from relationships is when relationships go wrong.

It also appears helpful to ask who is judging the relationship as good or bad for us in the first place (or which ideas we have adopted in relation to this).

You can get super curious about yourself, your patterns and who you are. The problem is that  many people do not self-reflect and thus do not learn from their mistakes. In fact, most of the time, we think the other person is wrong, blame or we are fault-less. Relationships are our greatest learning experiences but we seldom self-reflect, learn or grow from them as much as we can. You can choose to grow from experiences.

Self-reflect more is another great take away. As the saying goes, 'what we dislike in others is what we have not accepted about ourselves.' Facing our shadow is what we exist to do and love. 

What would you say is your reason for being? Which event (s) caused you to feel this way?

My reason for being is to be a bridge to help people grow from who they are today to become the people they are capable of being. My divorce certainly caused me to feel this way. I broke away from a predestined life and welcomed in a life that was entirely new and unfamiliar. I’ve had plenty of growth and self-awareness in the process. I’ve gained experience and heart wisdom and want to be a catalyst for others who find themselves in the throw of heartbreak realize that their best life is on the other side of a broken heart. 

Tell us about practices or teachings that shape your life-view. 

My biggest lesson about my breakup and divorce is that the past doesn’t have to equal the future. All readings and teachings that have helped me live in the present moment have helped shape my view.

Who are your inspirational mentors? How have they empowered you to shift how your see yourself?

I would consider Eckhart Tolle, Jon Kabat-Zinn and Pema Chodron as my teachers who helped me see that this is the only moment we have. As Nancy Levin says, “honor the space between no longer and not yet”. I think this quote really encapsulates that it’s about the journey, not about the destination. There is so much growth, understanding and wisdom to be collected along the way. I am now aware that you do not have to be a prisoner of the past. They remind me that you can’t have spring until you first have winter : ) There’s a place for every season. 

Our audience benefits from this: Universal principles speak when we are ready to hear them.

You write about love, heartbreak, letting love back in and the power of grief and heartbreak. What are some key observations you make about yourself as well as people/ clients you have encountered?

I would say that the key observations I’ve made it we can’t start fresh until we let go of the old. I’ve realized that it takes work, not time, to let go of the past and grieve. We have to actively work on letting go of the past. The one thing that our past is good for is to help us make some observations about ourselves. We have to use past relationships as a learning classroom and discover truths about ourselves. Each relationship helps us become the better version of ourselves so we are continually growing. Don’t think of soulmates when it comes to relationships. Think of relationships as classrooms. We have many teachers. 

Indeed.  When open-minded, everyone and everything is a teacher, as are we for ourselves. As Lao Tzu says, when the student is ready, the teacher appears...  Please share any universal messages that stand out which would help us all in our day-to-day living. 

Our purpose in the world is to become un-ravelled and discover who we truly are beyond everything else.

How do relationships fit into this universal wisdom?

Relationships and breakups help us discover who we are beyond it all. Use your rock bottom moments in life to get a deeper understanding about yourself. When your external world crumbles, you have an invitation to go within and see what needs improvement, healing or awareness. Use the lessons of life to help you discover who you are spiritually.

Remember, there is nothing to fear about change. Change is a teacher. Change happens to let go of what doesn’t serve us and welcome in those things that do. You don’t have to hold onto the present for dear life. There is life after relationships ending, careers ending, and familiar circumstances ending. Every ending has a new beginning.

Share anything else you feel you would like our readers to know.

Thank you for such a comprehensive interview and questions. It was so in-depth and based on the things that I’m exploring.

Where can people find you?

I would invite my readers to follow me on journey at www.vishnusvirtues.com and to pick up my new book, The Sacred Art of Letting Go, on sale at the Amazon store.

Really appreciate that you focus on encouraging people to recognize the messages of love in their lives.  For Vishnu's latest Amazon book, The Sacred Art of Letting Go, visit his Amazon store here. Here are some links to offer more information:

5 Tips to feel more joy

The conditioned mind is shifting how it perceives and processes energy. We initially sense intermittent serendipity.  Then, it is as if random acts or events are occurring.  Next, right on cue, deja-vus and coincidences arise.  We come to sense increasing synchronicity until it feels every encounter and experience in our lives is interconnected. The more clarity we get about our passion, the more we unleash untapped inner power, the more we naturally share our unique gifts. We are magically inspired what to do with it.  As this evokes joy, we tune into and live in a higher vibration. Consider 7 tips to raise our pleasure threshold ;

1. Engage in breathwork

Whether we explore Rebirthing, Holotropic, Cathartic, Reichian or Integrative breathwork, Pranayama or  some combination of deep connected breathing techniques, this is a useful step to access and release emotions which offers glimpses of inner peace.  The more we tune into the rhythm of the breath, the more we get a sense of which emotions drive us and when, the more interconnected events and encounters grow self-evident.

2. Uncover limiting core beliefs

Negative or limiting beliefs are the filters through which we are taught to see ourselves and the world.   So long as we are unconscious, self-defeating patterns continue.  Awakening is about growing aware of the origins of our behaviours so we can allow healing or energetic recalibration to occur. 

3. Empower yourself

Standing in our power implies we are willing to recognize our misperceptions and shift our fear-based beliefs to unconditionally loving ones. This is about accepting and integrating all experiences as part of the whole.  It is also about recognizing that negative emotions are pointers and gauges for how much we love or reject ourselves.

4. Speaking our truth

Part of the deepening process of self empowerment involves getting clear on our passion and sharing that openly. The more we speak and express our truth creatively, the more we begin to live our truth rather than presenting different personas to different people in different settings. Speaking our truth is one way to raise self esteem and confidence. We are letting go of masks or identities which are incompatible with our soul.

5. Act on life purpose

This is about actually doing and being what and why we exist.  Once we are fully conscious of our passion or core reason for being, then it is up to us to translate or express that for others. The mind can never quiet until we recall or uncover our unique gifts and find the courage to take steps to use this to enrich the world. It is about noticing and following synchronicities, and allowing the truth to flow naturally without fear. Being authentic is the epitome of fearlessness.