5 Ways to begin taking radical responsibility

To draw on the theme of a new online radical responsibility course I am offering, consider 5 ways to begin taking radical responsibility:

1. Recognize that you create all of your life experiences. 

This may be a shocker: No one and nothing is doing anything to you. Stop looking outside of yourself to people and conditions and thinking they are happening to you. Unconscious individuals look at lack of peer feedback and believe peers are the issue. Conscious individuals shift attention off the external and focus on themselves. This is a choice. Where are you placing your attention? 

2. Accept your deepest intentions (unconscious commitment) are not in your words, but in results showing up. 

If the world is not giving you abundance, useful feedback, opportunities, clients, you feel unappreciated, these are results. Regardless of what you say you want (e.g. opportunity, clients, praise), you’re unconsciously committed to getting results you get.

3. Allow curiousity to guide you. 

Your unconscious commitment/ will (the actual result) is perfect for your next developmental step in becoming a conscious co-creator. No one is doing anything wrong. Right and wrong do not exist. This is a feeling based journey you are making conscious to reclaim inner power. Everything exists for your deep learning and growth.  

4. Answer two powerful questions from a place of curiosity and wonder. #1: “How do I create and perpetuate this situation? ” #2: “What do I get from creating and perpetuating this situation?”

The answers that arise are pivotal for raising your awareness of what you can do, how you can live differently

Question #1: Imagine you’ve been asked to teach a class called, “How to get feedback & appreciation.” Note results you get now. Be the expert. Have fun with this: create a slide presentation on how to create a boss who doesn't treat you well. Typical points might include: Don’t ask your boss for feedback. Think that all feedback must be verbal and labeled as “feedback.” Get defensive when your boss gives you feedback. As you answer question #2, it dawns you’re not crazy. You’re creating this situation and you benefit from having it be this way. Discover what they are. Own what you’re getting. 

5. If you’re willing to shift your unconscious commitment (intention), examine your presentation and apply what you learn to your life. Discover the power of conscious intenation. Follow your own prescription. Results are pointers to inner voice or vibration. SHift inside and the outside can only mirror that. Its universal law.

This is an example of how many mystery writers create their scenarios. They tend to begin with the solution to the mystery and write their story backwards. So, there is more than psychology to this.  The formula works! Go with it. See what happens.

Notice so often, many assume spiritual growth means achieving some extraordinary, other-worldly, blissed-out state where we are somehow transported out of where we are. This view leads us to constantly reach for the next spiritual high, focus on futures. Or we feel that with all our commitments, responsibilities we have few ways for developing our inner nature. Both of these views reflect an error in perception. Let's step back, take another look. 

In fact, our day-to-day experiences offer raw material for spiritual development. Conflicts that arise in our families and among colleagues, the pain of losing loved ones, or our resistance to paradigms, stories, events, do not prevent inner development. Rather, they point to our ignorance and all else that hinders us from knowing and embodying true nature. We must simply be willing to surrender to the process. We are each invited to meet situations that present with compassion. This is true nature. 

Many of us do not distinguish between true nature and our personality traits, particularly our less desirable traits. Thing is, we are not the body, mind, emotions, but spirit-soul. It is the nature of the untrained mind to want what it perceives as advantageous and resist what seems painful. Discovering how the heart and mind can work together allows us to move beyond resistance and start to know inner freedom. Every situation we create has potential to reveal our true nature.

At different stages, we can feel overwhelmed by life conditions or feel bound by past traumatic events. If and when this happens, we do not see things as they really are. They are just mind-states which can be known, seen as impermanent, do not belong to us. They do not define true nature. A spiritual practice can provide insight and discipline to explore our perceptions. We each must discover what is true for ourselves. Heresay does not cut it. We can each do this right where we are. There is no need to go to a monastery or get our life more together. The intensity of our will and fears is a catalyst that propels us to go down the rabbit hole.  We can choose how to see, reframe, respond to events that will lead us to a deeper relationship with true nature.

For many years, words by Viktor Frankl have inspired me. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning wrote, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

It is crucial to understand, from a spiritual perspective, that the pain and suffering with which we work is no less substantial, or less real or difficult than those others face. The constrictions of the heart and mind cannot be measured like so many pounds of pressure; they are energies we learn to feel, harness and guide us back to true nature. Funny, the quest to reconnect with true nature is often lost in ordinary life. To be wrapped up in the mundane causes us to forget the big picture.

Buddha teaches that true nature is obscured by veils of wanting, fear, and delusion (or ignorance). He urges us to look at nature of our mind systematically and observe how these three mind-states condition what we think and value, and how we behave. He teaches that to identify with these mind-states causes suffering.
If we are not our thoughts, then what is our true nature, how do we find it, and how do we live so that it may flourish?

Well, the true nature of love is not based on ego strategy, but on the sheer openness of one heart to another. This is the kind of heart-opening that provides us with courage to face what arises.

Buddha also echoes our true nature is emptiness- a lack of a permanent Self- and when this true nature is realized, the divine states of the Brahma-viharas – loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity- emerge. There is also a state of mind and heart known as bodhichitta that leads one to completely dedicate oneself to the liberation of all beings from suffering. In the teachings of the great yoga masters, our true nature is Brahman, the universal soul, of which the individual soul is simply a part. When this is realized there is satchidananda, the awareness of bliss, from the knowing that pure awareness is our ultimate nature.

At some stage, it dawns, feelings of true nature are real. What Buddha describes are actual states of mind- body that can be physically and emotionally felt as profound consciousness shifts. For some people, these changes in consciousness have a strong physical component or a marked shift in perception. Some of us experience dramatically altered states of being. Others know subtle shifts in clarity, emotional centeredness, spontaneous acts of kindness. Every moment the body and mind experience true nature may feel transcendent, and manifestation simply occurs without effort. To know a “soft heart” is to act with selfless compassion. This is dwelling in the divine aspect of true nature. The new normal can feel like a transcendent moment.

Allow rose of clarity to blossom

Notice fear-based conditioning teaches us to cling to suffering perhaps because in some way, we think it makes life worthwhile. The mind thinks joy must be earned. Irony is, the more miseable we are, the more we cling to what does not serve us, the harder it sems to let go. In truth, one who is truly happy does not cling to life,or form unhealthy attachments. Deeper reflection brings new insight.

People who are suffering maintain their version of "hope." They always hope something different or better, will occur tomorrow or down the track. Those who live in adversity create an image of heaven or paradise that helps them endure discomfort. Yet, this distant idea of relief is like a carrot on a stick guiding the rabbit in us forward. Its a mind game to keep us frozen where we are. This tricky mind would like our attention to be hijacked away from the present moment. Still, that future never comes as it does not exist as mind would have us believe.

One big lesson here is only as we begin to feel hopeless about our perception of life or situation, does real hope and falling into surrender become possible. Only in a moment of real crisis or tragedy does transformation happen. So, when we think we have no real or acceptable options, maybe feel stuck in a hard place, this is when the heart cracks open and light finally reveals itself unexpectedly. The rose of clarity within blossoms in this perfect moment and not a moment before.

Awaken to cosmic magi

(Art by JR Slattum - www.threyda.com)

Notice if my present day self was to converse with myself 5 or 10 years ago, I would have said, " I know you are living the best life you can, but you are missing some big pieces of a puzzle. You are not only a danger to self but also others. Yes, you are in an illusory world of your own making. In time, it will all crumble."

And so it did. From the moment my deeper unravelling began, I cannot express the words or process, but something unique and life changing happened in my perception of this world. It emerged and accelerated to the point that not only unleashed all I am, but a new version of all that is. New realities blew the mind. Funny, the most earth-shattering revelations unfold during the darkest period.

Turns out, awakening is happening whether we detect it or not. The pace it happens to and through us and the experiences that unfold are shaped by our allowing and resistance Whether we believe it or not, the moment of truth will come for each of us. We all have dormant knowing. Only as we stop can we see.

We are all already all that we are, yet those who seek remember. I cannot deny the impact of the dark night of the soul. I encounter others along the way and we all access cosmic magic. As for those who love and support me, whether asleep or awake, shifts and changes are undeniable. Only level of consciousness differs.

Unknown to some, my cosncious choices activate a vibration of deep knowing in them too, and the domino effect continues. As you come to realize who and what you are, and the veil is lifted, the lies, the mis-conditioning, the illusion and the physical want of the human flesh for form is revealed, life cannot feel same.

Peace and harmony echo core knowing. Awake is then- You, I, We and All. Suffering and chains of mind dissolve, attachment to matter, thought and physical self. Freedom is. One knows what is always here. It need not be earned or achieved.The quest or seeking simply ends as light illuminates within.

Nisagardatta Maharaj echoes: The unreal was never born and the real cannot die.We redefine lucid as we awaken in our own dream. Light, love and Consciousness echo all that is eternal and divine. The rest dissolves from view.

Create radical forgiveness and self-love

Notice during this journey of human existence, we often encounter challenges, forcing us to confront our shadows and question the dynamics of our relationships. Such experiences can lead us to a renewed sense of freedom and joy, as we uncover valuable lessons from introspection and deep self-work.

Ram Dass inspires us to explore the power of shadow work and forgiveness to feel more harmonious. He echoes all we do, every action and intention, unfolds within the privacy of our heart. This profound truth highlights our innate ability to shape the external world based on our internal landscape. Our thoughts, emotions, and intentions hold immense power, and by cultivating self-awareness, we can consciously create a reality that aligns with our true self.

Shadow work, essential to growth, unveils the hidden aspects of our psyche. It reveals the nature of our shadows, which learn to disguise themselves to fulfill their own needs. These shadows manifest as dysfunction, creating disharmony and disconnect in our lives. Still, shadow work offers us opportunity to recognize these shadow aspects with compassion and understanding.

Sometimes, painful experiences serve as catalysts for deeper self-reflection. A challenging encounter, like a recent exchange with my family about my decisions for my kids' home education, prompted me to question why I am viewed as a "bad person." Despite the initial urge to blame, I realized the power to change the narrative is within me. Understanding that everything is done within the privacy of our own hearts empowers us to explore what needs to shift inside.

Through shadow work, I discovered that my shadows sought to create a world of fear, chaos, and disconnection by projecting my own fears onto others. For years, in seeking acceptance, I unconsciously surrendered my power to those around me. Yet, this realization led me to see I am a loving and compassionate being. Shadows within are responsible for my own perception of dysfunction that manifests externally. By embracing self-love and recognizing our shadows, we can release the need for external validation and reclaim personal power.

To allow our transformation, the practice of surrender is key. Yet this is not giving up or giving in, its about "letting go" of old stories, projections, judgments we carry within. Creating space within our hearts for something new to manifest requires release. Central to this process is the radical act of forgiving self and others. Forgiveness does not always require we involve those we forgive directly. It is an internal process, allowing us to let go of resentment and create healing within. Recognizing that everything we do unfolds within our hearts empowers us to take ownership of our experiences and create positive change.

Shadow work unveils the nature of our shadows, allowing us to address and integrate them with compassion. By releasing the need for external validation and embracing self-love, we reclaim personal power and create a foundation for inner transformation.

Feel into the power of the mantra, "Let go, something magical is about to happen." This mantra beautifully encapsulates the essence of our journey. By surrendering to the flow of life, we create space for something extraordinary to unfold. So, let us release our attachments, embrace the transformative power of shadow work and forgiveness, and allow the magic of life to unfold before us. May we find solace in the privacy of our hearts and embrace the transformative power that lies within us.