Uncover your motive

Two men visit a Zen master, looking for advice.

The first man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?”

The Zen master asks: “How was your old town?”

“It was terrible. Everyone was mean. I hated it.”

To that, the Zen master replies: “This town is much the same. Don’t move here.”

After the first man leaves, the second man enters and says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. How is it?”

Again, the Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?”

“It was wonderful. Everyone was friendly. Just looking for a change.”

The master replies: “This town is very much the same. I think you will like it here.”

There is always more than one reason why we do things. The mind tells us one reason, the rest of the body offers other insight often overlooked. What we seek is what we find. Why we do what we do matters as much, if not more, as the experience itself. The rhythm of our breath offers clues to our underlying motivation for action. Focusing on the breath and engaging in breathing exercises can reveal what we run from or tward or whether we are truly present.

Ultimately, what we find is determined by how we chose to seek and what we are ready to make conscious. All behaviours and life choices are pointers to what is going on inside ourselves.  We are the creator.  Every moment our thoughts and feelings are creating every moment and direction of our lives. Uncovering our motive for a geographic move or other life change is something we only reveal to ourselves when ready. Ponder the role of mindfulness and mindlessness...

Get out of that dilemma

I am sometimes asked why share Zen stories as part of my workshops and group sessions. In a nutshell, Zen stories may confuse or leave one hanging, yet they do not impart information or knowledge. They are designed to to get rid of something, to get rid of a false problem with which you are wrestling so that the problem will disappear as the result of understanding the story.  In this way, they invite joining the dots like stars into constellations and evoke eureka moments.

There was a Master walking, engaged in forest meditation with a group of his disciples.  Suddenly, he picked up a tree branch and said to one of the monks, "what is it?" As the monk hesitated , did not answer immediately, the Master hit him with it.  Then, the Master turned to another monk and asked, "what is it?" That monk said, "Give it to me so I can see."   The Master tossed it and the monk hit the Master.  The Master said, "Well, you got out of that dilemma." 

When we look for the mind that seems to be giving us so much trouble and realize it cannot be found, this is a pointer to the solution to our perceived problem. A dilemma is like a physical stick that many people hold within themselves, dwell on, discuss or allow to fester. Focusing on dilemmas harms ourselves. Letting go, going with the flow, acting spontaneously, implies less thinking, and more savouring this moment as it is. A dilemma is a state of mind. Albert Einstein echoes we cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness that creates it.  We can always tune in, and allow the rhythm of the breath to guide us. The power resides within.

Moving beyond boredom

There is a Zen teaching story about a student who comes to the Master and tells him, "I'm getting really bored with just feeling my breath coming in and going out all the time. Don't you have a meditation practice that is more exciting?"

The Zen Master replied, "Well, yes. You are now ready for a greater teaching. Follow me." And so, the Master led the student into a courtyard and approached a large barrel of water. "Gaze into the barrel," said the Master. As the student eagerly leaned over and peered in, the Zen Master suddenly pushed the student's head into the water. Being quite strong, the Master was able to hold the student under the water for quite a while, even though the student struggled desperately. 

Finally, the Master let the student come up for air, and as the student gasped the Master asked, "So... is that breath boring?"

We are often taught to crave drama and struggle, yet do we really need them? We are also taught to believe the breath is "nothing special." After all, it happens without us. However, as we pay closer attention to the breath, recall what it is to breathe consciously, we move beyond boredom, into what we deny or overlook. In fact, as we focus on the breath, we engage in what truly matters, and what we seek is 'in plain sight' or 'in plain breath'.

While breathing exercises are growing in popularity, the rhythm of the breath itself is a language that can be decoded. Insight we gain has potential to positively impact our lives.  What is it you desire most? To reclaim power? find new confidence? Be more accepting of who you are? 

It is as if the answer or solution we seek has hidden Itself in the most obvious place. What are we ready to see about the nature of our choices? Which stage of awareness are we willing to reach? 

Interview with Julie Cardillo

Every moment, we are touched and inspired by people when we are not even initially aware of it. This happens to all of us. We may be waiting for an Uber, a bus, a train or a plane.  We may be sitting quietly in a park or another public space and a stranger comes to sit down beside us. Even passers by are sending us messages and vibrations.

Sometimes we can even intuitively choose to strike up conversation with someone we have seen before and just feel as though the moment is right to connect on a different level.  This describes how I was drawn to chat more with Julie Cardillo. She enters my life more and more and shares some insightful wisdom during this interview. Thanks Julie for the willingness to share more of yourself here. We all benefit fro sharing what matters.

 You are welcome.

Why do you get up in the mornings? What really motivates you?

My daughter, is why I get up in the morning …. comforting ,compassion , hugging , encouraging her, listening , playing,  all those things ….thats what motivates me…it is ALL my whys in one.

Love this response. Its a universal one, an invitation to love ourselves, to love where we are and to see that love mirrored in all that makes us feel good. 

How would you describe your unique gift? When did you  grow aware it?

Helping people uncover the truth about who they are - particularly those who feel helpless, vulnerable who have been through the trauma or disconnect of not having a relationship with their parents from birth.    

I have lived the experience with being adopted. My own journey through that created some trauma and wounding around the mother - daughter connections and father- daughter connections - so I want to help others heal from that.

I can relate to your calling. It is said we are meant to teach what we exist to learn. To know peace, we must teach peace.

When did you become a healer? What guided you to your current focus?

I’ve always been a healer, but just didn't know it. My experience , my journey , I AM living it every day. 

What an astute observation!  So often, we are taught to grow into some dreamed-up version of ourselves.  This distracts our attention from and acceptance of who we already are. Thanks for shifting the focus back to our true essence.

Please share about Sister’s Circles.  What are they? How do they benefit participants?

I was drawn and called to this work , it was just a matter of time before I really stepped in …. you always find the right teachers when you are ready. 

Exactly! Love that quote frm the Tao Te Ching "When the student is ready the teacher will appear... and when the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.

For me, the sister circles was about creating a community of women, who could come together and bring their experiences to be, seen,heard and loved; To provide comfort,compassion and courage to uncover their own truths (The good , the bad, the ugly …so to speak...) 

Sense this kind of a community appeals to more and more women. Many people seek a safe space to share openly. The group you describe sounds very powerful.

As it happens, I have some friends in Sydney involved in a regular men's circle. The men present are often surprised about the synchronicities that arise during group gatherings, of the delicate topics people ease into and the deep connections forged through openness and transparency. 

What would describe as your greatest challenge? What did you learn from it?

Resistance - in all of the above , stepping into my own truth , into who I am and owning the fullness and the hugeness and the bigness of that , and allowing myself  to be vulnerable and sharing the challenges and experiences that I have had throughout life.

I am still learning from it , I’m am defiantly still growing from it and with it 

Indeed! Awakening has different stages.  We are each experiencing different sides of ourselves, different levels of consciousness.   

Where have you witnessed significant transformations in you and others? Tell us about a few examples…

• During my early 20’s , leaving my small country town that I grew up in to travel the world

• Becoming a mother for the first time 

• Following my soul's work , rather then my corporate mind's work

• Starting the search for my birth parents 

My everyday life with sharing what I love; Zen Thai Shiatsu, Sister Circles , yoga, and all the other loves of mine that blend and shape shift throughout my life, the goodness from all of this ripples out beyond just me …..

Name 5 things you would want with you on a deserted island. Why these items?

Hmmmmm …My daughter …… 

Funny, I asked my husband this same question and he began to rattle off his list , a rope, flint, knife , then he asks me what I am going to take … so I would defiantly take him , because he is so practical and is taking all the good stuff (ha ha) , to provide shelter, food, warmth , he allows me to bring the fullness of who I am out in the world . 

So all up probably just the above...

 If you could write a letter to be left to a future incarnation, what 3 points would you be sure to include in that letter?

 Have comfort in knowing that you are loved 

Have compassion with yourself , through the challenges and the experiences 

Embrace all of who you are

Have the courage to chase after your dreams 

Be true to yourself , be true to the process, be true to your dreams,be true to what is loving and kind to you.

( ok that was more then 3 --ha! ha! )  

Who has highly-influenced your life at different stages? 

My dad, with his humour and compassion, his courage and truth - he is such a top bloke , I love him very much ! He's a great mate as well !

When I was travelling there was a young african boy, when we were in Malawi -  he was orphaned from Congo but  living with his aunt , he would come and visit everyday and each day he would ask me to take him with me home to Australia - he had no idea where that was and I was in my 20s living in London at the time  - he just wanted to feel that safety , comfort , compassion, warmth and help, HE reminds of my why - I still think about him and what I want to inspire in others to do. 

I have many mentors/ friends that have impacted my life in so many ways and still  inspire me each day to be who I am fully.

 If you could leave some advice to our readers, what would it be?

BE true , Be all of who  you are , step into it 

 Do you have any upcoming events and/or books you would suggest we look into? (Even if u are not the facilitator/author)

My next next round of The Sister Circles starts in August.

I also work one on one with my Zen Thai Shiatsu Bodywork sessions for anyone who is looking for more personal space 

Keep and eye out on my socials for new workshop/retreat dates 

  How can people contact you?

www.juliecardillo.com.au

www.facebook.com/JulesCardillorhythmofyourvibration

www.instagram.com/jules_rhythmofyourvibration

12 keys to living more authentically

Many people are seeking authenticity and wonder why obstacles arise in this Path.  Watch what happens as it dawns that every apparent obstacle is actually a stepping stone to experiencing life from a point of wholeness.  Everything we do is like taking another step or leap into the loving arms of authentic being. Reflect on these 12 keys to living more authentically:

1. Tune into your internal messaging system

2. Sit with emotions (and hear their messages)

3. Take ownership for your feelings, thoughts and behaviours (rather than blaming others)

4. Keep your promises (live in integrity)

5. Do contemplative work (shadow work & inner child work)

6. Explore mindfulness techniques (i.e.varied approaches to meditation)

7. Explore dream symbols & images

8. Uncover interplay among identities

9. Know self is the only person you can help

(we can change our beliefs and behaviours, how we are perceiving, discover how authenticity feels and live from this vibrational point. We cannot force another person to do any of this.)

10. Develop wisdom (the result of life experience, intuition, discernment & deep inner listening)

11. Be open to forgive (allow yourself to experience the grief process: includes difficult feelings of anger, sorrow, anguish and dissapointment)

12. Know experiencing all emotions fully without judgement opens the heart to self-love