5 Tips to deepen connection

When people are asked what they want more than anything, one common response is to create emotional connections and invite others to do the same. Such an emotional connection does not arise from anything external; not from obtaining materialistic wealth, power, fame, car/house from lots of travel or modelling someone else's version of reality. We might then ask, what is it?

Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they find strength and inspiration from the relationship, and can have deep conversations. This can seem hard as so much arises to alienate people from connection. We live in socieities that create and instill ways to punish, shame, create criminal records and other barriers to prevent people from reconnecting.   It helps to reflect on specific examples and see where we relate.

Technology can be viewed as a bridge or a wall to connection.  We have Skype and What's App to see people on screen when they are far away.  Yet, some would say that only deep, nuanced, face-to-face relationships with physical touch are real connnections. Although I had penpals I never met who taught me amazing things about cultures and language, those I eventually met in-person added a dimension of realness and connection that letters alone could not provide. 

In 2020, we are one of the most electronically connected societies that has ever existed. We have the option to buy online, get groceries and products delivered to our doors for convenience.  Phone-ordering is another option to avoid interacting in-person. We have online banking. We can use bank machines rather than visit traditional tellers. We have the option to bypass cashiers in grocery stores because of modern scanners. We have automated chat windows for online customer service and drive-through restaurants that suggest we fear deeper relationships.  We are also taught to focus on difference and can temporarily lose sight of the deeper Truth.  Only when ready do we find the courage to make new choices that allow us to shift priorities.

Reflect on 5 tips to deepen connections in life: 

1. Do something creative & fun everyday that connects you with people  

2. Accept we sometimes feel defeated and share stories. Vulnerability makes us real & human

3. Smile and laugh more often, because we can, not because we must

4. Recognize we all share the same air, water, light and Earth and this unscorces everything

5. Recall everything is made of the same energy

5 Steps to more conscious living

Ever feel like a peice of wood drifting through life, not going in the direction you want to go? Is it clear to you how you got where you are today? Do you feel drawn to change anything?

Living consciously is about taking control of your life, about making deliberate decisions rather than making decisions willy-nilly without thought.  This is about consciously creating the life that we want rather than settling for the one that somebody tells us we deserve. Consider these 10 steps to more conscious living;

1.  Reflect regularly on your life

This involves reflecting on who you think you are, how your feel and behave in different situations.  It includes growing more aware of patterns playing out through your relationships and being open to change.

2. Reflect on how you spend your time

Notice whether you focus attention on what matters most to you or, whether you are working toward doing that in the future. The key is to find courage to stop doing things that do not stimulate creativity or fulfull you, to stop interacting with people who do not matter, stop spending money on stuff we do not need to impress people. What would you ideally be doing and where?

3. Nurture your sense of humor

Laughter is brings balance and recalibrates well-being. What tickles your funny bone? Laugh longer & more often. Spend time with children who giggle and animals that play spontaneously. Be open to allowing some of this to rub off on you. Allow yourself to be silly.  Be okay with it. Lose the conditioned fear of embarassment.

4. Review life goals often

Notice what you truly feel destined to do with your gifts and talents. Are you are in sync or off track? Ru moonlighting? Its useful to grow aware of the nature of distractions we create or excuses we make to hold ourselves back from doing what the heart knows fuels our spirit.

5. Reflect on your impact on the environment

This includes what you eat, how its produced, how far it travels to get to you. How do you feel when you eat? Are you being authentic, eating what feels right or making changes as your body gives you signs to do so? Which modes of transport do you use? Be mindful that everything we do affects more than us, but everything around us in some way.

5 Tips to take things in stride

Life is full of surprises.  We may tell ourselves that we assume we always know our destination and are familliar with the route of travel.  Yet, in many cases, our journey turns out to be more of a winding path with frequent stops or detours in unexpected places.  It can sometimes feel very confusing, even trigger emotional roller coasters.  Our personal and professional relationships may also be challenged. Here are ten tips to take things in stride;

1. Listen to the breath

2. Tune into body sensations

3. Grow aware of thoughts and beliefs and core values

4. Ask for advice or guidance from someone you trust

5.  Grow aware of to whom and why we give our power away 

5 Tips to reframe rejection & criticism

It may not always be clear, but we always have choices about how to respond to what is going on around us and also to what is being directed towards us. Being open to explore our own role in the dynamic is important also. Breathwork often sheds light into our beliefs and patterns so we can change what we outgrow. Consider these 5 tips to reframe rejection and criticism;

1. Do not take things personally

Don Miguel Ruiz expands on this in a fabulous book entitled, The Four Agreements. When criticized, do not allow criticism or rejection to trigger emotions. We can respond with "thanks for sharing that..." or, "I am happy to discuss things calmly with you when I do not feel attacked," or, " Would you like to rephrase that?" If the person is unwilling, turn attention away, leave the room and refuse to channel energy into this.  (Differs from withdrawing in silence)

2. Ask the individual to repeat the negative comment

In many cases, the individual will not repeat it as s/he knows we are onto their game. If the individual does repeat the criticism, we can respond, 'we are not sure we heard that correctly.' Please repeat that... [or #3]

3. Say directly, "Sounds like you wish me to feel badly about myself..."

The individual may say no, no no, just offering constructive criticism or, yes I am! You are a _____! ect. This is an opportunity to take a deep breath and say to yourself "I am not my body, not my mind, not my emotions, not any name someone would like me to believe." (Conscious living is about knowing we have a choice about what to believe and how to feel)

4. Say, "You can say what you like, but I am not choosing to let that in. "

This would not be stated in a way to taunt someone on or nudge them into an argument. It is simply a way of standing our ground. (To ourselves, we can say. 'I am a confident person who is worthy, talents. We must also realize that the way we are being treated is reflecting how we feel about ourselves inside. If we want external behaviour of others toward us to change, we must be willing to take steps to explore how and why we feel about ourselves.)

5. "Say, " did you know critical people reserve the harshest criticism for themselves?

In fact, every instance we criticize others, we are actually making a statement about our own discomfort, pain, fear or inadequacy.  Whenever we criticize others, we are actually relfecting how dissatisfied we are with ourselves? That is a shame. We need not be mean or harsh. We can simply choose to be strong by loving ourselves enough not to be affected by false information. Loving and accepting ourselves fully means we love others enough to show them love rather than reacting in fear. This is done though an open heart.

Breathe into that potential

Self-love is a way of realizing our true potential. Yet, how do we know if we love ourselves fully? What does this look like? What is a practical way to explore what may prevent fully loving ourselves?

We each have the tools at our fingertips to see who we truly are and put our gifts into practice. What if we could uncover and release repressed trauma and let go of underlying causes of addiction that hold us back? What if breathwork is a tool to enhance our creativity, and sharpen our intuition and access mroe confidence?

Engaging in cathartic breathwork is a way to get to know and decode our emotions, and uncover hidden blockages.  Such blockages can be tracked back to unconscious beliefs which have come to run us. They are also affecting us on a mental, physical and other levels.  

When honest, underneath stress, people often discover a general discomfort with life.  Ask yourself if you are living fully, acting on your feelings and intuition or logic. What does being truly authentic mean to you?Do you hear; I’m not listening to  myself; I’m not as creative as I want to be?  People often come across breathwork after other therapies have not helped them. It is a way to empower ouselves.

Major differences exist between group breathwork and doing it one-on-one. Everyone experiences each differently.  In a group, you get that amazing collective energy and you can feed off other people. Some people also feel overwhelmed by group energy. Private sessions are another option. Anyone who feels uncomfortable or finds it hard to settle and to let loose in group settings, often benefit from a one-on-one session.

Our next Cathartic breathwork event is November 23 from 1-4pm in Caloundra, Sunshine Coast. Book on Eventbrite-https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/covert-cathartic-breathwork-info-event-tickets-79942629557 or contact us directly.