Dream Builders

"If you hate someone, then this enables that person to exert power over you. This is an invitation to push your figurative and emotional buttons. Life is all about learning to detach from such manipulation."

This is my favorite part of your post. I has pertinent meaning to me right now as I work through releasing an old friendship/relationship that soured long ago.

Thank you for your insight, Liara.

Donna, you may perceive the concept of intimidation in a similar way. Many human beings will say "so-and-so intimidates me" when this implies they give away their own power. Nobody does anything to you that you don't want deep down. This may be hard to swallow. However, you attract each relationship is for a reason. Its up to you to figure out meaning of interaction and see blessings. What do you learn about your true self?

Hate is a powerful word - If somebody really hates another, the person doing the hating should examine why they hate so much, starting with self and never ending with the other person.

Hi Liara, YEAH! I got on again this morning. I was so happy to see that could! I love your posts. This one on hate is especially fascinating to me. I'd like to share a few things that I have learned about hate.

1. When I am feeling it from someone I know (or don’t know), which rarely rarely happens, I ask myself, "Have I done anything that might have upset this person...even though that still does not make me responsible for their hate. Is there anything REAL that I need to take responsibility for here (for me)? Do I need to apologize for anything? And remove that aspect from the picture?"

2. Then I have to look at it on a soul level or psychic level. I have to distinguish what are their feelings and what is mine. I am someone who feels things even over great distance, and feels everything another person is feeling, I even hear their thoughts. So I have to separate their feelings from mine. Once I can do that I can let go more easily and deal with the situation. Sometimes I can be around someone and suddenly feel intense hate, anger or fear and I have to stop and look, because usually I am picking up something that is someone else’s.

3. Then, like you, I have always seen that hate is what I call a "secondary emotion". The original or base emotion is fear. I have experienced life as two fundamental emotions: fear and love. And then all the off shoots from those emotions. If we can get to the base emotion we can readily understand what is going on. Or at least I can in myself; it works for me very well and very immediately.

4. I have also learned to watch out that I don't carry someone else's emotions out of my own past conditioning. Ex: if someone hates me and I look inside and know that I've done nothing to deserve that hate and YET I still carry it for them by going inside and feeling all hurt and bad about myself, then what they want to do has worked and it has confirmed for them several things: 1. That it's okay to hate. 2. That what they are doing is working and effective and okay to do “with” me. 3. That they are a bad person (they get this message because I am letting them hate me and I don't think anyone REALLY wants to hate. It hurts to hate another person. And I am telling them it’s okay to be sick and mean or hateful.

5. I have learned that I can set solid boundaries; I don't have to stay in the presence of someone who is sending out hate. It is not good for my spirit and soul. BUT I have also learned to model love to someone who hates. If I feel loving toward Robin then I won’t let someone hate me. I see that I am worthy of love…even in my humanity. If I am loving Robin I meet hate with love. And I mean REAL love, I go in myself and find the soul of that person that is hurting and frightened and I tell them that I love them that they are safe and loved, and not just by me but by LIFE. I have seen amazing results by doing this, even over great distance. I forgive them and myself. I forgive even while they are in a state of hate, because they are in a state of hate, because they are part of me and I am part of them. In forgiving them I forgive Robin. I forgive and I can breathe and love and let go.

6. I have learned that people DO change, People DO heal. People DO learn to love, We are all God (the Creator, Life, The Great Spirit, etc.)

7. I learned that when I heal another I heal myself. We cannot heal something with out healing ourselves, over and over and over again.

Thank you dear one for inspiring me SOOOOOOO much! I think I will turn my comment here into a post for my blog. :) You bring the best out of me. I like that! :)

True words, someone else who hates you is their problem not yours. We cannot be responsible for others perceptions and emotions.

Bruno, another question to ask is why you might assume someone hates you. Sometimes this perception can be a figment of the imagination with underlying meaning about you.

Rainforest robin, your comment is incerdibly poignant and I would expect many people will relate to these thoughts. Love is a powerful force that human beings tend to underestimate. People forget that they may invite negative people into their lives in order to offer another example of behaviour. You can't force anyone to act or "see" but you can always choose how to react to what goes on around you.

Mark, you hit the nail right on the head. Getting wrapped up with that other people may think and feel distracts you from the control you exert over your true self. Each person you meet offers new lessons to learn. You decide what you are ready and willing to take on-board.

I really enjoyed rainforestrobin's post, and as Liara predicted, I can relate to a lot of it. I find that an intense emotion like hate can be even more intense when it is shared empathically. I've also had experience with it drifting between lives, as well, i.e., I've been on the receiving end of hatred in a situation that has no other explanation than being carried over from a past life. What became most critical for me was distinguishing between this life and the last, in which case I made a conscious decision to focus on this life. Unfortunately, the other individual is unable to do that, and so I've had to remove myself from that situation. Unbridled hate in any situation is unnecessary and a very sad thing. It can become a psychosis.

Donna, karma is a delicate thing. Every moment, human beings are making karma, creating the next life 'in the now.' Past lives explain who you were, not who you are.

Every thought and bahavior sets into motion a cause. All causes have effects in your life. Sooner or later, the causes set into motion by your thoughts and actions produce effects which rebound. You experience good (comfortable) karma or bad (uncomfortable) karma. People really only talk about karma when they mean bad karma. It is useful to realize you have more good karma than bad. People don't effect you unless you choose to react.

Hate is a fascinating emotion. I have only had one person in my life who I can say Hates me. I was not aware that the emotion had gone beyond dislike, to the mirror of Hate, until I sent out a friends mailout via my Yahoo address book and he was included. To get a reply wishing I was dead and that he could only live in hope for that outcome was quite a shock. So I sent him a few rather nice things (good karma etc)...hoping that he would change...but sadly he removed himself from my friends list.

Henry, some human beings create a sense of 'hell'. This is a mental place of sadness and suffering. So long as you believe and remain in another reality, you will not experience discomfort or hate for an extended period. Until a person realizes he or she doesn't deserve to exist in such a place, that person will continue to behave in ways to perpetuate his or her misunderstandings. Each human being has choices and free will.