Rowing into oblivion

I recall a heralding experience I had as a teenager near my family's summer place, that renewed my faith in something beyond me. I invited my cousin Meg out for a row in the yellow dingy.  In a late afternoon, we casually ventured out into the harbor and admired the scenery.  As the wind came up, white caps formed on waves.  I reassured my cousin and said I'd row us around the local penninsula. Little did I know a storm would suddenly arise and threaten to carry us out to sea... 

Before long, fog rolled in and my passenger became petrified.  She lost any faith she had had in my navigational ability.  This contrasted my sense of excitement and adventure about our crazy situation.  I reminisced aloud of heros from some of my favorite books.  Yet, even my humorous tone turned serious when one oar fell out into the water and floated away from us.  Needless to say, the state of my passenger helped rock the boat. As she began to panic, I made efforts to calm her. Not long after, a powerful force pushed the oar back in our direction, and I grabbed it.  That went completely against the current. 

At that point, we saw the penninsula through the mist.  Considering how far we'd come, I agreed it would be wise to go ashore and walk the boat around the tip of the penninsula with the bow line. Meg might've abandoned me then, but as it happened, she couldn't climb a wet, rocky cliff.

Our feet slipped on the eroded stones on shore. The water felt refreshing on our feet.  Meg walked ahead of me and expressed aloud she wished the 'whole ordeal' was over.  When the drenched bow line slipped from my fingers in the fog, I could've sworn a man appeared long enough to help me grab it. Yet, looking up, the cliff left him nowhere to go.  Perplexed yet, grateful, I invited my passenger back into the bow and continued rowing.  She opted not to row at all. As I worked, I encouraged her to keep her spirits up. She didn't laugh though I offered her reasons. With the weather, pea soup fog and now intermittent rain, we both looked like drowned rats. 

Even in light of everything, I kept chatting and managed to enjoy myself. It wasn't long before we could see a person on a cottage deck in the distance. He waved. I smiled and kept rowing. I thought he waved at the gulls just overhead. I didn't feel we needed rescuing. As I rowed against the wind, the fog gradually cleared.  Although I shivered with no raincoat, I was glad to build stamina, resilience and determination.  I liked thinking of the story we'd share on our return.

In the end, our plan for a quick rowing trip took us three hours. My cousin admits she had no idea what she was getting into. As it happens, she hasn't accompanied me on another rowing trip since. Such memories cause me to bear in mind that experiences in our best interests may be things we never thought about. Who would voluntarily row in a storm? That boat experience prompted me to develop survival skills and keep my mind open to possibilities and alternatives. As crises evolve, I learn how faith sees me through. I convince myself I may not control the elements, but I do determine how I react to them, what I choose to attract, see and gain.

Cement sent from heaven

The following is a true story which helps you learn why this man takes angels seriously.

When I was 23, I was sailing in the Caribbean, off the coast of Cuba, and my small boat capsized.  A friend and I had taken it from the Havana Yacht Club and foolishly sailed out too far, without having the sense to wear life jackets.  Sail and rudder were gone.  With great effort, we hauled ourselves inside and sat there, water up to our waits, helpless.  A burst of wind came up, and the next thing we knew, we were clinging to the gunnels of the submerged boat.  It was too far to swim ashore and the waters were full of sharks. We drifted in a swift current, southwestwardly, along the coast.  Before long, it was pitch dark.  I was shaking inside with fear, not knowing how we would ever be found in the darkness, not being sure how long the boat would remain afloat.  I prayed more persistently than ever. I promised God if that he saved us, I would serve him well.

I don't know how much time had gone by when my companion screamed in pain.  A Portugese man-o-war had brushed across his belly, its poison leaving a wake of angry welts.  He kept taking about jumping overboard and, I recall my attention was diverted from my own desperation to talking to him about anything I could think of to distract him from his anguish.  But, I felt it was hopeless.  In the morning, if we lasted that long, the sun would emerge and burn us to a crisp.

Miraculously, morning came and the sun was not as threatening as I'd imagined.  We were at least a mile from shore, and still afloat.  Much to my surprise, I saw a large ship approaching and became excited.  The ship had seen us.  As the ship grew closer, I could read the large letters painted on the side: Lehigh Portland Cement.  The sailors threw the ladder down and one kind man helped us on deck.  We drank coffee and the ship turned back to harbor.  I said a prayer of thanks, reminding myself of my promises and determined to do my best to remain faithful to them.

For years I remained convinced my prayers had been heard by God.  And recently, I began to wonder whether God had sent an angel to send us safely home.

-Frederic Flach, MD, based on an excerpt from The Secret Strength of Angels 

What is Balance?

Balance is forever present, yet people often find themselves believing they must chase it. Slow down. Stop even. Watch the mind going in circles. Let go of beliefs that have you side-tracked. What is permanent is an innate state unaffected by worry.

To paraphrase the poet Kalhil Gibran,

Without the energy of Hate, we don't understand the full energy of Love.
Without Sadness we don't understand the full energy of Happiness.
Without Evil we don't understand the full energy of Good.
Without Chaos we don't understand the full energy of Peace.

Staying power

Notice the conditions and relationships that have staying power or longevity in your life.  What keeps them in your scope or focus of attention?  What solidifies a bond between friends or partners and convinces them to 'stick it out' even when circumstances are difficult? What keeps certain people connected?

"The prospect of growing old together," admit one middle-aged couple.

"The loneliness I see among mature singles around me," replies one married man.

"We give each other strength," admits a female partner of 10 years.

"The joys of our children and grandchildren," explain grandparents.

"Shared values," notes a married woman.

You hear about financial troubles, serious illness, workaholism and other hurtful habits or activities, and yet, people who choose to stay connected somehow recognize how trivial many of their trials, disagreements or concerns really are.  They talk things out and let go.  They learn how not to hold grudges.  Instead, they focus on what brought them together.  They reminisce about how and why they overcame problems in the past. 

Couples that stay together through hardship learn it enables them to grow stronger and build trust. They learn the value of apology and forgiveness in and work through destructive, negative thoughts and feelings.  Healthier relationships are those where partners find ways to face the truth about themselves and also evolve together. A shared vision, a willingness to listen to each other, can lead to a relationship with staying power.  People will often offer you advice about your life.  Evaluate it thoroughly from your perspective. You are accountable for your decisions. Depend on yourself. Have faith in yourself. Share your intuitive views and see what feels right.

Shape your life

How many people do you know who don't like to make their own decisions or don't know how? These kinds of people ask someone else what to do or ask someone to do it for them.  Maybe you generously help someone with decisions, not realizing that you may actually prevent this person from developing key life skills. 

If you're having a tough time, and feel very vulnerable, you may prefer to lean on someone.  You may have lost a loved one, be in a destructive relationship or feel stuck in a self-defeating situation. You may ask people to guide you, tell you what to do, and eliminate your bad choices.  Yet, not facing things on your own means you permit fear or uncertainty to control you.  This may prevent you from learning to seek professional help you need.  Unless you figure out how to leave a destructive situation, or grow from what you now see were bad choices, you may become dependent on people for judgments and self-assessments you need to learn to make yourself. 

Maybe you have a conflict looming, where you're definitely in the right, yet, obtaining more just and ethical treatment isn't easy.  The experience may be an ongoining trial of patience and inner strength.  You may fear losing faith in the process, losing faith in yourself and wonder about the implications of any decisions. What would be the best thing to do now?

Rest assured that you're frequently being given new opportunities to change, to learn from mistakes and then, to try again and make better decisions.  It's all in how you look at the situation.  You have power to take charge of your life, to learn to read your intuition.  We all benefit from learning to look at ourselves to see where and when we have grown,how we have contributed to the lives of others, and why we have had a sense of failure. Learning to deal with the truth of why we evade choices and situations enables us to shape our lives for the better.