5 Tips to reframe rejection & criticism

It may not always be clear, but we always have choices about how to respond to what is going on around us and also to what is being directed towards us. Being open to explore our own role in the dynamic is important also. Breathwork often sheds light into our beliefs and patterns so we can change what we outgrow. Consider these 5 tips to reframe rejection and criticism;

1. Do not take things personally

Don Miguel Ruiz expands on this in a fabulous book entitled, The Four Agreements. When criticized, do not allow criticism or rejection to trigger emotions. We can respond with "thanks for sharing that..." or, "I am happy to discuss things calmly with you when I do not feel attacked," or, " Would you like to rephrase that?" If the person is unwilling, turn attention away, leave the room and refuse to channel energy into this.  (Differs from withdrawing in silence)

2. Ask the individual to repeat the negative comment

In many cases, the individual will not repeat it as s/he knows we are onto their game. If the individual does repeat the criticism, we can respond, 'we are not sure we heard that correctly.' Please repeat that... [or #3]

3. Say directly, "Sounds like you wish me to feel badly about myself..."

The individual may say no, no no, just offering constructive criticism or, yes I am! You are a _____! ect. This is an opportunity to take a deep breath and say to yourself "I am not my body, not my mind, not my emotions, not any name someone would like me to believe." (Conscious living is about knowing we have a choice about what to believe and how to feel)

4. Say, "You can say what you like, but I am not choosing to let that in. "

This would not be stated in a way to taunt someone on or nudge them into an argument. It is simply a way of standing our ground. (To ourselves, we can say. 'I am a confident person who is worthy, talents. We must also realize that the way we are being treated is reflecting how we feel about ourselves inside. If we want external behaviour of others toward us to change, we must be willing to take steps to explore how and why we feel about ourselves.)

5. "Say, " did you know critical people reserve the harshest criticism for themselves?

In fact, every instance we criticize others, we are actually making a statement about our own discomfort, pain, fear or inadequacy.  Whenever we criticize others, we are actually relfecting how dissatisfied we are with ourselves? That is a shame. We need not be mean or harsh. We can simply choose to be strong by loving ourselves enough not to be affected by false information. Loving and accepting ourselves fully means we love others enough to show them love rather than reacting in fear. This is done though an open heart.

Reframe illness

If you ever feel under the weather, notice the words you use to describe your state and how experience unfolds to confirm them. Notice what messages the body is sending to you. How do you think and feel about this? This is an opportunity to see through misperceptions.

On the surface, you may feel overtired or over-extended. You may pinpoint restlessness, second guess some of your choices or brainstorm what is next. If you focus on imbalance, sadness, dissatisfaction or rejection, you invite more reasons to feel this way. Be aware of the world you create for yourself.  Only the body is sick. How you view the body and your state of mind changes everything.  Beyond this, what does not change may surprise you.

Watch what happens as you view it all as a teacher. Identify what are you really feeling uneasy or sick about. It's not what you think. Its not the nature of a job, condition, dead pet, or state of relationships that triggers the physical symptoms you notice.  Its not what seems to happen to you, but how you feel about it that affects your energy states.  Shift focus to isolate what you think you fear.  Now, step back to recognize why this fear is an illusion.  Peel away the layers.  Be more selective about your thoughts and the words you use.

Imagine how your life presents as as you recall all is well already.  Sense the joy of laughter and the impact of self-recognition. Healing is a state of mind. The state of being is perfect.

What do you reject?

On some level, every human being rejects aspects of the true self.  Why? Only you can answer such a question for yourself as you choose to be honest and attune to the messages you are always given. 

Negative thoughts or emotions draw attention to discomfort.  This actually draws attention to what you reject.  And yet, human beings have free will.  You do not focus on certain things by your own choice.

Consider that all human beings have a mystical side yet not everyone accepts mystical parts of the self. Why?  Fear of the unknown. Human beings are conditioned what to accept and reject. You listen or not.

Soul knows you as an energy being of peace and joy now. As you permit mental training to mould you into what you are not, you shift focus away from the timeless beauty and unconditonal love you are.

As you attune to how you really feel, you consciously make decisions in alignment with that or not.  You have reasons for listening to the mind or the heart. Every experience is meaningful for its lessons.