What do you truly want?
Notice how wants and desires arise from birth. A separate sense of self is born. This is not itself an issue. This is not meant to be a substitution for the divine being within. Notice whatever you give attention to grows. So, it is believing in separateness that gives rise to whatever you allow to hijack your focus. All-the-while, the truth never moves. Ask yourself what this moment feels like without all the wants and desires.
Step back from what gives life to your story, from what evokes emotions in your direct experience. Notice they grow stronger grounded in perceived time (past and future), a sense of suffering, loss or lack that seems to exist. What is the underlying message? What peers through?The only things that can change are mind and how it experiences. The perceiver of all is forever present. What is wanted beyond ego and desire?
Beyond that exists the imagined ideal, that which is intuited as perfect freedom. An image of unconditional love jumps into mind until it is known you are this. Awareness does not exert effort to rid you of your thoughts. What you are does not believe in thought. Notice how you speak of or view "you" and awareness or that which has no form. Are they not one? Look deeper. Notice what you really want and what you really are is always here. What direct experience is the living question you continue to seek?
"You are free to call forth any reality that you wish. What does God want? Nothing. Absolutely nothing." -