Ease into the flow

Relationships with some people come so easily while other relationships seem awkward and strained. You may ask why? How can you get along so well with a friend or colleague and have parents, a partner, siblings, in-laws or other people, causing you to feel self-conscious or 'out-of-place?' What is the nature of incompatibility? What does this tell you about harmony?

As you get-to-know yourself, sorting through feelings and vibes gets easier.  You actually know yourself better than anyone, yet may temporarily lose confidence.  Rest assured, openness is a trait you have as a child and you can tap into it at any moment.  Why do you think it felt much easier to express your feelings more directly then? Ease into the flow;

1) Be more aware. Ask the source of love in your life what you need to work on. Keep an open mind.  Watch which emotions arise as you listen and hear the observations. Discover negative vibes  are not telling you about people so much as why you resist expressing love. Invite love to come in and replace negativity. Zero in on why you may think someone won't accept you or like you, and why this matters. Reasons for discomfort you thought you'd never solve resolve themselves. Issues actually begin in your own imagination.

2) Open your inner channels to feel. Recognize that anxiety or worry are telling you valuable things about your complaints and reactions to particular people. What do you fear? What might other people fear about you? Allowing your energy to flow reminds you the more fulfilling life you envision can't come if you're stuck in a mode of self-criticism. You can't control what others may think. This is an invitation to release thoughts you outgrow.

3) Feel good about yourself. Your own desires create, deepen or sever relationships based on what your mind allows. If someone clearly asks you not to contact or interact with them, it's their call. Such people have and may deny their own issues. As you release your own negative thoughts, any unwanted energy will dissipate and stop controlling you. What remains is grounded in compassion.  Trust this process and negative energy won't return.

4) Accept flashes of insight. The truth is that quieting the mind enables you to reframe the relationships you live. Observing your own thoughts and behaviour triggers flashes of insight.  The mind says all pieces will fall together and the heart knows no puzzle ever fell apart.  Intend fulfilling relationships and this is your experience. All is always well.

Restore your inner strength

For much of your life, you may have derived your self-worth from how you performed in the office, with romantic partners, in athletic competitions or, in some other area of your life.  Even if you haven't been consciously aware of it, you may have felt that the more professional or group recognition you gained, the more personal compliments were directed your way, the more money you earned, all determined your underlying value.  Are you the type of person who thinks, "the better I do, the more people will like me?" Is this the crux of your view of success?

If you've had thoughts like those described above, you may have accomplished things, but still miss out on a lot.  There's more to life than simply lving according to other people's criteria or how they think you should live.  Some of the most challenging experiences are those that trigger most personal revelations and initiate inner healing. 

If you have been frightened of making new decisions or taking initiatives, you may assume fate is in charge and there's no point in taking steps to shape your course.  You may not yet have realized its up to you to restore faith, trust and tap into existing inner strength.  Consider this:

1) You decide what comes of you mentally and spiritually.  Conditions such as lack of food, little sleep, and other disconcerting sources of stress, remind you that what becomes of you results from an inner decision.  Do you decide to give up, stop seeking solutions, and stop fighting or, do you decide external circumstances will not control your attitude? Just as you may experience the suffering sides of emotions, you can learn what it means to stop suffering just as soon as you formulate a convincing, multi-sensual, mental picture of what it means and believe. 

2) You can make use of or forgo opportunities.  Are you aware that your inner strength can raise you above your outward experiences?  You are confronted with fate, each time you have the opportunity to achieve and learn through suffering.  You can choose to face hardship in a courageous and dignified way, and value your health in whatever state or, see meaning in other perceived predicaments that challenge your comfort zone. Ask yourself how would whatever you sense is difficult in your life actually helping you? Embrace it.

3) You can decide to take spiritual evolution seriously.  Your free will and decisions shape your observations and how you understand success.  You determine how long you fear your circumstances, and when this destructive mindset will end.  Another way of seeing is to realize difficult situations are gifts that enable you to interpret life as an opportunity to grow beyond what the mind can teach you. Embrace the challenges where you perceive.  Shift your perception.  Turn your circumstances into the reason for your latest, inner triumph. Decidr to take spiritual evolution seriously. Respond with joy and stretch yourself.

"If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you." -T.S. Eliot

Hungry for self-acceptance

When someone makes you an offer, you have the opportunity to accept or reject the offer. Similarly, if you propose products, services or something about you to other people, then they could embrace or reject you.  If you learn to see rejection as a process of learning how to become more effective or how to become truer to yourself, then you'll be less likely to feel devastated in the case that events don't unfold your way. Its a path to self-acceptance.

Reflect on an experience when you feel rejected.  Your attention may be drawn to things you didn't know about yourself or other people.   How do you benefit? What can you gain?  You may discover a hidden agenda, evidence of untruths, an interplay of thoughts and feelings within yourself, and about the other person who has rejected you.  Getting 'brushed-off' is an invitation to grow and love yourself more just as you are right now.  Do you realize that? 

Consider Colonel Sanders, the brains behind Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC).  Whether or not you like or eat the food from this restaurant is beside the point.  Sanders shouldered over 2000 rejections before he came upon a receptive restaurant for his recipe ideas. It took a lot of determination and thickening of his own skin before he met people willing to buy and market his special recipe.  The rest is history.  Yet, KFC success didn't happen overnight. 

Take notice of how you give and respond to rejection.  Do you shrug off rejection easily and move on or, would you benefit from taking a crash course on grace and maturity? Are you tolerant, loving and accepting of others, or are you apt to humiliate them and wound their pride? Whatever approach you take reveals to what degree you love and accept true self.

Let's reflect. So, you didn't get offered the promotion or maybe you were dumped by your partner for someone else.  Neither situation is particularly appealing on the surface, but look a bit deeper.  Rather than permit yourself to feel bad about what you didn't get, or view yourself as less than worthy, you can see every situation as doing you a favor.  Look at your new freedom! New opportunities are arising; in personal growth, in other jobs, and more fulfilling relationships. Everything is a stepping stone to something. 

When all is said and done, you benefit from observing your responses to everything that unfolds in your life.   As you evolve to understand why you feel rejected, you come to see a limited perspective can expand.  If you tell yourself you're less than you are, then you reinforce false beliefs that do not serve you.  Everything is a teacher if you see it.

In the end, you can breathe a sigh of relief if you are brushed off.  Step back and see what this allows to arise in your life.  If you didn't have doubt or expectations, then feeling frustrated, demoralized or disappointed wouldn't arise and capture your attention.  Situations only hurt if you allow attachment.  Teach yourself suffering is a state of mind.  Satiate the hunger that does not really exist.  Self-improvement is unnecessary as you love yourself as you are.

Stop getting more of the same

So, you've taken the plunge.  You've decided to start a small business.  Congratulations! Whether you did it because you desire to be your own boss, to schedule your own hours, to provide a service where you intuit a need, or for other reasons, you'll be more in control of your work life than ever. A new source of energy and inspiration is very exciting! Wow!

Now, we all have the power to be the primary driver behind what we do, yet, not everyone takes advantage of this position to better themselves.  Why not you? If you truly wish to stop getting more of the same reactions about work from yourself or other people who disagree with your attitude or choices, then you'd benefit from a willingness to clarify where you are and why.

1) Commit yourself to your new venture.  Even where you are starting a business beside a regular job, you will not succeed with a lack of effort.  Deciding you will make it happen means you will consistently devote a certain amount of time every day to developing this venture, through networking, phone calls, bookkeeping, website building, marketing or whatever. When the option becomes financially viable, you may leave the other job and focus on business development.

2)  Ask those questions you have been afraid to ask. It is forseeable that you'll encounter situations or information you do not completely understand.  This is a sign its time to consult a professional.  Remind yourself lawyers, accountants and outsourcing other experts could be in your interest.

3) Encourage yourself.  Motivational books, business seminars and conventions are ways you can develop yourself at the same time as share valuable lessons learned.  You will find that remaining open to new kinds of information will not only promote your personal growth, but will also nuture your continuing interest and enthusiasm.  Remind yourself being happy and knowledgeable will build client leads and trust.

4) Prepare for uncharted territory. Finding the courage to step out of your comfort zone is admirable, and it often brings its share of obstacles which require problem-solving.  That you feel ready to face uncertainty is a big step to devising the strategies you will need to move ahead.  Prepare yourself mentally for challenges, and they will be less likely to scare you.

5) Decide to seek and change yourself. Business success doesn't necessarily evolve if you begin with a plan to change the world.  However, if you accept you're on a new road of self-discovery, and you take steps to learn,  you'll find your efforts will make a positive difference.  Understand every choice and action enables you to get-to know yourself better.  Everything you think, say and do reveals a bit more about yourself.  The better you know your strengths and weaknesses, the more your business can benefit.

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” - Meister Eckhart

Trading places, spaces and identities

Okay, so you're having a hard time understanding someone's behavior or point of view. What are you doing about that? Maybe you ignore the person and hope he or she goes away. You could request clarification, but the person in question may simply repeat what was already said and leave you confused or frustrated. This is an invitation from the universe to gain insight into yourself.

If you wish to better understand someone, you have other options. Imagine you trade places. That's right! Pretend you're the person with whom you disagree. If you were in this person's shoes, how would you feel? What would your motives be for a particular opinion? What do you gain from being inflexible? What does this say about your personality? How do(es) culture, social role, religion, age, gender and life experience influence your perception and attitude?

As you ponder answers, you begin to see new points of view. You begin to see that the anger, fear or resistance are simply layers of illusion to be peeled away. What matters is you open the heart and show compassion. Listen to what someone is really saying. Words and gestures are smokescreens.