Trading places, spaces and identities

Okay, so you're having a hard time understanding someone's behavior or point of view. What are you doing about that? Maybe you ignore the person and hope he or she goes away. You could request clarification, but the person in question may simply repeat what was already said and leave you confused or frustrated. This is an invitation from the universe to gain insight into yourself.

If you wish to better understand someone, you have other options. Imagine you trade places. That's right! Pretend you're the person with whom you disagree. If you were in this person's shoes, how would you feel? What would your motives be for a particular opinion? What do you gain from being inflexible? What does this say about your personality? How do(es) culture, social role, religion, age, gender and life experience influence your perception and attitude?

As you ponder answers, you begin to see new points of view. You begin to see that the anger, fear or resistance are simply layers of illusion to be peeled away. What matters is you open the heart and show compassion. Listen to what someone is really saying. Words and gestures are smokescreens.

Expect the unexpected

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.

One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.

At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of."

And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, he graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time?

Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.

His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

You never know when someone may be an angel in disguise.

Expect the unexpected.
"What goes around comes around."

It is suggested to:

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth

“Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Gratitude

Gratitude is a feeling of being thankful.  You feel grateful for your family or other people you cherish, but how often do you tell them aloud, express this in writing or demonstrate it using other gestures? How often do you reinforce that priceless sense of appreciation? What was it in our personal histories that caused us to stop talking openly about how we feel? As we grow up, we tend to become quiet, downplay thoughts and feelings and hesitate to be open.  You may sense the world you grew up in does not respond kindly to openness or transparency.  People aren't taught to accept compliments graciously but often respond in disbelief.

Consider western societies include special occasions into calendars.  You may think of Father's Day, Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day, Valentine's Day, Vetran's Day, National Independence Days, and others. Ask yourself why it is necessary to remind yourself to take time to express gratitude for those people and freedoms or circumstances that you are thankful for. How do you think of yourself if you forgot birthdays and other special occasions? You may feel upset or sad when people don't acknowledge you.  Are you conditioned to only give and receive appreciation at specific times during the year.  How does your life transform as you become more spontaneous with kindness, compassion and appreciation?

Imagine what your life would be like if you felt appreciated by everyone. You wouldn't likely have an internal gauge that measures attention. It wouldn't matter if people didn't contact you on commercial holidays.  Look beyond the negative feelings you might feel if people seem to forget about you. What does this really say about how generous you are with self appreciation? Do you need reasons to be grateful? Why hold back your feelings? What do you fear? Be grateful for every moment.  Show others by example they too can live a more joyful life. 

Gratitude is the memory of the heart. -Jean Baptiste Massieu

Staying power

Notice the conditions and relationships that have staying power or longevity in your life.  What keeps them in your scope or focus of attention?  What solidifies a bond between friends or partners and convinces them to 'stick it out' even when circumstances are difficult? What keeps certain people connected?

"The prospect of growing old together," admit one middle-aged couple.

"The loneliness I see among mature singles around me," replies one married man.

"We give each other strength," admits a female partner of 10 years.

"The joys of our children and grandchildren," explain grandparents.

"Shared values," notes a married woman.

You hear about financial troubles, serious illness, workaholism and other hurtful habits or activities, and yet, people who choose to stay connected somehow recognize how trivial many of their trials, disagreements or concerns really are.  They talk things out and let go.  They learn how not to hold grudges.  Instead, they focus on what brought them together.  They reminisce about how and why they overcame problems in the past. 

Couples that stay together through hardship learn it enables them to grow stronger and build trust. They learn the value of apology and forgiveness in and work through destructive, negative thoughts and feelings.  Healthier relationships are those where partners find ways to face the truth about themselves and also evolve together. A shared vision, a willingness to listen to each other, can lead to a relationship with staying power.  People will often offer you advice about your life.  Evaluate it thoroughly from your perspective. You are accountable for your decisions. Depend on yourself. Have faith in yourself. Share your intuitive views and see what feels right.

The unseen and intangible

What is it that causes you to take chances in your life? When you choose to risk losing something that means a lot to you, this requires courage. Your sixth sense may warn you of impending dangers in enough time to avoid them. Then again, you may not heed warnings of your inner voice, or even notice them, and then, taking risks may end up harming you.

What enables you to sense opportunities on the horizon? You may get good vibes after speaking with someone or you may simply develop an attitude that a great career change is around the corner. This kind of positive feeling may motivate you to impulsively attend a casting or submit a resume to a senior manager over an impromptu lunch.

You may reply that unseen and intangible signs enable you to uncover elements of faith.  You may imitate individuals you admire who have taken chances and succeeded along their own paths. Although you may study cause and effect, and gain insight into the spirit of positive thinking, only understanding of your own patterns and characteristics enables you to see the difference between thinking and feeling the nature of a risk. Thinking is grounded in fear. Feeling is guided by love. Notice when you think with the head or feel with the heart.

At some stage, you no longer judge yourself.  So, you come to see everything as experience with the same opportunities to love and accept yourself fully of not.  Now all you do is trust.