When did you last redefine "normal?"

You may think you know people, have them pinned down so to speak, and suddenly discover there is more to them. In the process, you are raising your awareness and expanding your perception. You are realizing your notion of normal changes.

I think to a recent dinner I shared with friends of my parents I have known forever. It was an informal affair that involved post-holiday turkey leftovers, an array of mis-matched dishes and homemade treats. This heart-warming setting taught me the power of energy shifts based on how receptive we are. The forty-five year age gap between couples is part of normality.

Our topics for small talk vary widely. On this particular evening, I did not bring up my growing epitaph collection, poisonous creature- related stories linked to places I have visited, or the motorcycle adventures of Ewan McGregor who intrigues me as he documents a journey "All the Way Down" through unique regions of Africa. The energy in the air invited other kinds of exchanges. Ever notice how or why people introduce topics into dialogue? They feel comfortable with you, with themselves with the topic. It is all about self-acceptance.

Now, the host of the evening was a former priest. He admits he gained valuable life experience in his religious roles before resigning and redefining his idea of normal. He married in his fifties, twice became a father in his sixties, then a widower before falling in love and remarrying. He shared how opening his mind led him to expand his perspective in unexpected ways. His life prepared him to attune. His beliefs shifted to focus on things he had not considered, let-alone seen before.

Without faltering, he calmly shared an experience that he had not confided with me before. He was asked to be a poll bearer (casket handler) at the funeral of a former religious colleague. He felt grateful to be part of the service, as he had known this man well. While my friend waited in an alcove near other poll bearers, he watched a filmy version of the deceased enter through the doorway. This spirit communicated with my friend using telepathy. He asked, why the gathering? He was initially unaware his body was dead. My friend used his mind to shift this spirit's attention to the body in the open casket. The spirit seemed to register. He looked around, smiled and suddenly vanished. My friend calmly continued with his funeral responsibilities. For him, this was normal. To me, it was too.

By this point in the evening, it seemed perfectly natural for me to share my impressions of Ram Bahadur. He recently emerged from a meditation he underwent from May 2005 to December 2008 inside the trunk of a tree near Katmandu. He had lowered his metabolic rate, breathing and mastered his other bodily functions. Imagine, he had been sitting still during much of his meditation. I invite you to read this and review your sense of "normal"; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ram_Bahadur_Bomjon

No doubt you have your own understanding of the term, "normal." It is always based on experience. It can only ever be based on experience. That is how you permit your current life to unfold.  What happens next is also up to you. And, so?

Fall asleep and maintain consciousness

Different levels of awareness exist.  Every instant, a certain separation divides what you think, feel and physically do.  Your being has too many functions for the human mind to keep track of all at once.  The more aware you become of this separation, the more you may begin to believe parts of you are dreaming while other parts are more conscious and aware.

If you assume that part of you works while part of you sleeps, then you may begin to believe you can fall asleep and still maintain consciousness. This does not make it advisable to drive or operate machinery as an experiment while you take a power nap.  And yet, how you view rest may never be the same.  How you sense spatial awareness will also evolve.

It is useful to decide on something you would like to do in waking life or presumed sleep.  Otherwise, you have no point of reference.  In the case that you choose not to be aware, you selectively tune in or out of internal and external realities. Your underlying motivation shapes the roles you choose to play.

In my experience, conscious participation expands how one explores different levels of awareness. From the moment you take responsibility for perception and formulate deliberate intentions, your life experience changes in degree. You perform roles of observer and participant. You are in your life, not of it.

Did I really do that?

Everybody can reflect on experiences and view the past differently in the present. You have insight into yourself now that you did not have before. And yet, certain choices or behaviours may still amaze you. When have you asked, "did I really do that?" What meaningful lessons did you gain?

One man I know broke baby toes on each foot more than once. He did so as the result of making his way to the toilet in the dark. He was reluctant to admit his night vision was not dependable. Yet, when the doctor taped his toe for the third time, it was no dream. The man then opted to use a flashlight.

I recall a time in my life when I lived in the Netherlands for a summer. Before I ended up juggling seven jobs (one for each day of the week), I had a few curious job interviews based on misunderstanding newspaper ads. One waitressing job turned out to be in a bar that offered legal drugs on their exotic menu. The masseuse interview turned out to offer additional erotic massage training in the basement of a bar with leopard couches and sheepskin rugs.  Although I chose not to accept these two positions, I learned that each experience is a teacher. I learned to find humor, keep composure and a straight face.

A good friend of mine was accepted to a university Master's program. His parents helped him pack up and move to a nearby city. He had lived at home during his undergrad, so this was his first home away from home. Yet, he was not away a week before he decided to abandon the program and called his parents to pick him up.  He listened to his gut. This inner growth served him. Not only did he learn to listen to his heart and pursue a more fulfilling career. He also gained the confidence to come out of the closet and be truer to himself. As he learned to face his fears, he inspired greater self-acceptance in the lives of family, friends and patients. Looking back, he wonders what took him so long to be more honest.

What we used to perceive as thoughts to be disregarded, do not have to be dismissed.  Some insights we gain are visceral.  They change as profoundly as our subjective experiences.

3 Tips to discern the gift in your internal judge

The urge to judge is human. We all go through stages where we are more or less judgmental of oursleves and other people.  You may recall periods in your life where your opinion seemed justified, where your feelings were colored by emotion but you did not realize it then

One question you may ask is, how attached or committed are you to your beliefs?  Commitment can become a conscious decision to revisit your inner judge.  You can grow to discern the gift in every perception.  You can evolve to recognize that any assumed deficiency is actually a piece of a master puzzle.  You are gradually collecting and connecting the pieces to feel more complete. Consider these 3 tips;

1) Recognize everyone has things to work on. The next time you catch yourself about to criticize or say anything negative about others, remind yourself that you also have your own growing to do.  Any thought or feeling that does not encourage or build confidence, means you have forgotten you have access to greater compassion, wisdom and perspective.

2) Emotionally-wounded people heal with love.  People relate through experience.  People who share common experiences connect through feelings without words.  From the moment you realize you relate to pain and suffering, and love, you begin to realize you can relate to everyone.  Knowing this reminds you that unconditional love helps transcend uncomfortable silence and misplaced unworthiness.  

3) Everything is a stage in a process.  Any conditioned attachments, fear of change, yearning for certainty, all distract you from the core strength of your human identity.  This impermanence allows for evolution, transition, and growth that indifference, disinterest or absent awareness would not.

You cannot always explain what works

A man shared a personal story with me. There was a period in his life where he thought certain experiences were a dream. It relates back to unexplained phenomena that allow him to expand as he gets older.  He has come to believe one cannot always explain what works.

When he was a teen, he lived with his single mom in a rather memorable house. He started noticing how cold he always felt in a specific room, even in summer. Hair stood up on his arms as if to invite him to get alert. He heard noises and was unable to identify or trace them when he searched for a source. When doors began to open and close on their own without wind, and other weird things happened, it became disconcerting.

Turned out his mom knew a friend who engaged in séances. This man could apparently feel things. That individual had never visited their house. At that point, the teen was unaware of the implications of the man’s protective chant or the nature of the events that would present.

The organiser of this séance entered a mediative state, aligned with the room energy and asked aloud for evidence of the presence of spirit. Not only did a door locked from the other side unlock itself and open, but a piece of moulding from around the door frame fell off onto the floor. The apparent drama that ensued was almost like a movie. Some friends present during this experience were startled, yet others were sceptical. The teen was convinced the presence was not dangerous, but it remained an enigma. He felt serenity and curiosity. He opted to do local research.

The next day, he visited a few neighbours. Not being social, he had not met them before. He learned a man had in fact died in the room that always seemed cold. Intuition led him to spend more time in that room. During all the time he lived in that house, he never saw anything physical, but he believed in something that he did not comprehend. He felt the air. The presence of things he could not explain comforted him in the absence of his father. The house suddenly seemed still, peaceful. He did not discuss his feelings aloud, but something knew and reciprocated.

He now looks back in bewilderment at that stage of his life. He reflects on moments of pure intimacy with something not easily describable. As an adult, he has learned people tend to have a rigid notion of what is real. He recognizes few people expand on experiences that defy words and numbers. In his mind, those things that are profoundly real can only be felt deep inside to be known.The spontaneous imagery that appears in his mind is like nothing he learned in his technical field, yet this works.

It is said dying people exert healing power or guidance over the living. Yet, humans hesitate to say the same thing about interacting with the deceased. Many people recall a cherished person and a memory will stay with them throughout their lives. As you move beyond conditioned restlessness, you sense connections from beyond also enable survival.

You do need not look at someone with human senses to know that person is with you in unseen ways. Inner knowing is how we evolve. It is how we sense what exists beyond us. We are invited to rediscover and explore mysteries amidst the ordinary and more obvious. We are never alone.