3 Tips to discern the gift in your internal judge

The urge to judge is human. We all go through stages where we are more or less judgmental of oursleves and other people.  You may recall periods in your life where your opinion seemed justified, where your feelings were colored by emotion but you did not realize it then

One question you may ask is, how attached or committed are you to your beliefs?  Commitment can become a conscious decision to revisit your inner judge.  You can grow to discern the gift in every perception.  You can evolve to recognize that any assumed deficiency is actually a piece of a master puzzle.  You are gradually collecting and connecting the pieces to feel more complete. Consider these 3 tips;

1) Recognize everyone has things to work on. The next time you catch yourself about to criticize or say anything negative about others, remind yourself that you also have your own growing to do.  Any thought or feeling that does not encourage or build confidence, means you have forgotten you have access to greater compassion, wisdom and perspective.

2) Emotionally-wounded people heal with love.  People relate through experience.  People who share common experiences connect through feelings without words.  From the moment you realize you relate to pain and suffering, and love, you begin to realize you can relate to everyone.  Knowing this reminds you that unconditional love helps transcend uncomfortable silence and misplaced unworthiness.  

3) Everything is a stage in a process.  Any conditioned attachments, fear of change, yearning for certainty, all distract you from the core strength of your human identity.  This impermanence allows for evolution, transition, and growth that indifference, disinterest or absent awareness would not.

Comments

[LifeMadeGreat - Juliet]

Hi

Great reminders!
And, often the deficiencies that we see in others are in fact those in ourselves.

Juliet

[Davina]

Hi Liara. "...unconditional love helps transcend uncomfortable silence and misplaced unworthiness..." This was a beautiful statement. It leads me to the thought that even emotions need this perspective.

As I was writing this comment I received the idea that thoughts and emotions are like the wind that just blows through us. We so easily take responsibility for them. I believe we do play a role in their existence, but they're not our total identity.

[Liara Covert]

Juliet, human beings are by their nature very attuned and coherent. And yet, it requires the will to hear and respond to what your body, mind and spirit are telling you. Individuals have not always learned to listen to their own needs, and have not always chosen to listen to needs they discern in others. We are all students and teachers.

[Miruh]

Hello Liara,

The new look of the site is beautiful, more user-friendly too!

These tips to remind us about judging others are a compassionate look at ourselves and others. What we see lacking in others is a reflection of our own.
Thanks for a great post.

Peace to you!

[Adrianne]

Hi, I have just discovered your blog and really appreciate this post.

I've noticed that my negative experiences with my internal judge follow a predictable pattern - I judge myself and feel emotionally bad and then I attempt to transfer this to others by judging them. I think an acute awareness of my emotions - caring about how I am feeling - is a big key for me in healing this. So, when that first self-judgmental thought comes up, I notice that it does not feel good. I stop listening to it and choose thoughts that feel better that are aligned with "seeing the pieces of the master puzzle" as you nicely put it.

[Liara Covert]

Adrianne, raising awareness about how you think and feel is key to healing and creating positive change. It is meaningful to realize that everything you do is useful. The more you learn to love yourself, the more the universe will send you back conditions that help you understand the nature of love. The more you judge, the more the universe will send conditions to help you learn more about love. Your perception and understanding change as you evolve.

[Karl Staib - Work Happy Now]

3 great points that are very much under appreciated. I've been guilty of not applying any of these to my life. I'm working on the first one right now. I was put in a new position at work, without a much needed raise. I know the company is struggling in this economy and upper management is trying to make the best choices. I just need to concentrate on what I can change and keep going a great job.

[Liara Covert]

Karl, it can be helpful to examine the meaning behind your words. If you believe you lack something, as when you say things like,"much needed raise," then this raises reasons for discomfort beneath what you are directly saying. This is an invitation to take a closer look at your feelings concerning specific wants and needs. It is common for human beings to convince themselves they "need" things when your soul is really asking you to shift mindset to a different kind of completeness. Part of you is suggesting your conscious focus is misplaced. What do you see?

[Loving Annie]

Another great post, Liara.
Having compassionate awareness rather than judgement - and responding with loving communication is what I am trying to do right now...
The people who helped me the most along the way were kind to me - I want to remember how effective that was.

[Loving Annie]

Just came by to say hello, Liara :)

[Jessica]

Tip #3 speaks to me most because I feel that I am constantly in a transition phase in life. I know these phases can ultimately strengthen us but sometimes the daily 'wear and tear' causes me to lose perspective. It certainly helps to have others remind us that these phases push us to evolution and transition!

[Liara Covert]

Annie, always great to receive your positive vibes.

Jessica, it is useful to realize you are never alone. Every person is constantly challenged. Open people are continually-growing because they are willing to learn.