Stop punishing yourself

Analysis of the week submitted by D.H of Vancouver, Canada.

Dream- I was standing in a bright hallway, by a door that had a window to the outside. In the next room a woman was screaming. She was being murdered and I knew this. Yet I was rooted to the spot. Strangely I don't recall feeling fear, just quiet reserve.

The screams stopped and this man came around the corner of the hallway carrying a bloody axe. His grin was evil and his eyes were fixed on me. Telepathically we communicated and I knew I had to follow him or he would kill me right there. In a sense I think I was buying time by following him. I was aware of another person with me suddenly (I think it was my younger brother); we are close.

I stood at the top of the stairs to the cellar where this killer motioned for us to go. The other person had started down the stairs ahead of me and I turned to look back at the door / window. There was a young boy standing on tip toes staring through the glass with wide eyes. He could see the bloody axe.

Our eyes met and I silently mouthed the words, "Help Me". His eyes widened further when at that same time the man with the axe saw him and started towards him. He ran off in a flash and the man with the axe turned his attention back to me.  Down the old wooden stairs I went, into the cellar. It was dark, musty, and smelled of blood and gasoline. I knew he was going to kill us and then set the home on fire. My brother had disappeared.

My thoughts shifted away from going along with this. I heard my voice say, "I have to go to the bathroom," as I suddenly turned and began to climb back up stairs. The man with axe protested and started to follow. I pictured that bright window where the young boy had been. Somehow knew I would be free. I awoke as I was nearing the top of the stairs with the man close behind

Predominant Emotions- Fear, shame, anxiety, growing hope

Interpretation- Different parts of a house gain meaning based partly on what you experience in these places. Carl Jung links rooms and levels with symbolic layers of the unconscious. If you believe the basement is the foundation of your psyche, and your character grows from there, then the root of your discomfort is in early memories. According to you, something stinks about your childhood. You desire to release emotions that may include rejecting or doubting certain of your abilities.  Part of you fears the implications. You contemplate the benefits of being honest to distract yourself from the source of your discomfort.

Blood is a reassuring energy source at the same time as a possible reminder someone or something is bleeding you dry. You may be overthinking or over-doing it. This does not have to imply financial resources are being depleted. If a person or project is draining you like an energy vampire, then you are starting to realize you must behave differently in order to find alternative energy sources and fulfillment.

Part of you is running scared. You are suffering for what seems to be due to the behavior of others. You may interpret it as coercion, intimidation, exploitation or some other sense of being used. Remind yourself what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In the end, you always choose how to feel and which lessons you will learn from the experience.

Contrary to what you may think at this moment, you are never useless or powerless. The reason people start to feel some level of failure is because they forget how to believe in themselves. Anxiety is a feeling ability that prevents you from feeling too safe or complacent. Without it, some people assume their learning will stagnate and survival is less within ther control. Something has triggered anxiety you thought you had put behind you. Although useful when deadlines loom and as a means of keeping you focused, you are permitting anxiety due to biological factors to become blurred with that grounded in fear. Only you can uncover and resolve unresolved conflicts. Stop punishing yourself.

What if getting younger is not a dream?

People view their lives in fragments.  As you notice your mind racing, you may feel perceived phases enable you to focus or, feel less overwhelmed with all that appears to unfold for you. 

Whether or not you realize it, you schedule and set deadlines as if everything is a race with the invisible clock. You imagine life as symbolic sand in an hour glass where time is running out.  What if this is an inaccurate assumption?  What if time is a dream and getting younger is not? What it is all your choice?

Bob Proctor is a motivational speaker and teacher from The Secret who shares a view on aging.  During a recording he made in 2006, he remarked people assume getting older means getting tired, weak, sickly and increasingly inactive.  He also stated that at seventy-three, he felt he had more energy than many people he had met who were twenty three.  He said, when people tell him old people should slow down, he said that is a pile of crap. He believes you should speed up.

Have you ever asked why people of similar ages can appear and act so different?  Why does a retired colleague of my dad's make it to base camp at Mount Everest even though he has a brain tumor that surgery did not cure? Why do other retirees without such health problems have less will, stamina and drive? Why do some seniors take far younger spouses? Could it be a tireless libido? Heredity is part of it, but there's more. 

Some people are grateful to develop gray hair and wrinkles while others engage in a constant battle with time.  What does it really mean to go against your nature? People undergo botox, cosmetic surgery and procedures to preserve or prolong an appearance that is impermanent. Why focus on the physical?

Consider people with serious illness which confines them to bed and may adds years to their external appearance.  Happiness comes to represent the simple fact of being alive. The evolution they are invited to undergo inside heals years of bitterness, anger, pride and destructive thinking.  They come to feel happier and more at peace than ever before.  Are we each not choosing to redefine our own fountain of youth?

Society teaches aging is a choice.  You can take this literally or figuratively.  You can decide to age gracefully in your heart, mind and spirit, regardless of what other people expect to observe in your physical body. Committing to a certain mindset can feel a bit limiting.  Despite this, how you think actually determines your joie de vivre and vision of freedom.

If you are aware of aging relatives, you may also begin to view aging differently, even if you feel youthful.  To align ourselves with our most precious values is what empowers us to refine a changing sense of purpose.  The idea of youth or aging becomes less important than learning to let go of everything but life itself.  Every moment, we redefine survival.  Where we are, our state of mind and physical form matter less than how we feel.  Freedom from aging can come anytime we choose to evolve with the events of our own lives.  We can cherish memories, but release the past and ideas that do not serve us.

How do you evaluate your sixth sense?

Many people suppress abilities they consider inexplicable or disturbing.  You might even fear some of the things you have been doing. You may not be ready to deny them, but you may also be unwilling to discuss them with people you assume would not relate or begin to understand. What do your feelings tell you about your mind power? Do you discern a sixth sense?

Have you ever had a premonition? More than one? Do you get them consistently? You may know people who feel anxious about an event they expect to happen, and it does! Having a similar experience may prompt you to break into joyful song or, it may scare you out of your wits. Each feeling gauges your perception of mind power.  You may accept or disregard it.

One nurse I know fears recalling her dreams because of repeated premonitions. She has a history of dreaming about accidental deaths before they happen.  She never knows the victims.  Yet, after being rattled by dreams, she has read news stories which mirrored her visions.  She chooses not to develop this ability because it makes her feel uncomfortable.  She rarely shares her view of the truth yet feels no reason to explain this.

How often have you found yourself anticipating what people would say before they did? Maybe you have even said the same thing at the same time as other people. From the bizarre to the extraordinary, you are allowing your mind to zero in on energy forms invisible to physical eyes. You are opening another kind of eye that receives constant messages from the mind.  

Consider a woman in Australia claimed to have prayed incessantly to spirit to be able to see energy and dimensions many human beings are not ready or willing to accept.  She spoke of her desire almost constantly.  She said it aloud, to herself and in-writing until she expanded her perception in ways that almost overwhelmed her.  Through the course of her experience, she not only redefined her baseline of sanity and insanity, she realized she did not want to see, hear, feel and absorb what she had requested.   She learned to control it.

What is an empirical, non-subjective test for a sixth sense? Regardless of whether you discern or identify one, mastering your life now is not about being good at what you believe you can do.  It is about taking responsibility through every kind of uncertainty.  As you choose to expand how you view and interpret energy, you will begin to truly explore what you are capable of creating and experiencing. You are your only judge and jury. Sensory perception expands or contracts with you. Your memories merge, expand or dissolve based on how you understand time and what you decide to explore further.

How to get through it

Every human being can relate to some kind of challenge or obstacle that prompts them to ask, "how will I get through it?" In fact, some challenges can seem to appear to last longer than you would like. Now, if you are the kind of person who is waiting for some experience to be over, could you be missing something? Maybe your current situation is yet to become one of your greatest teachers.  Are you willing to think again?

One good friend of mine cared for her ailing husband at home over many years and festive seasons.  He slowly died of Parkinson's Disease.  She was in her seventies and he was close in age.  She dealt with his incontinence, his gradual loss of memory, motor control and more humourus escapades. As a retired electrician, his illness prompted him to rewire things.  At one point, pushing the front doorbell turned on a light. She confided she neared what she presumed was her wit's end, then, she transcended that. She found ways to get through it.

Another friend of mine has learned what it means to hit rock bottom. The end of the year did not initially evoke joy. His mind was on unemployment and fear of responsibilities he would not be unable to manage. He is evolving to realize he is capable of getting through anything based on what he decides he will.  That does not mean things are easy for him. But, he is realizing many things he thought matter do not really matter.  He is realizing that getting through it involves accepting things as they are and doing the best he can.  How he thinks matters.

A member of my family has has her life changed by serious illness. During the holidays, getting a tree decorated mattered less than finding the strength to get out of bed and downstairs. Juggling office and home resposibilities went by the wayside.  She faced increasing swelling, immobility and other unexpected internal discomforts. The festive season was not about presents, but rethinking gratitude for living, for visits from loved ones. For her, how to get through it has included denial, anger, frustration with losing control and avoiding physical reality. Sometimes selective ignorance, frailty and fatigue become close friends that serve an unknown purpose. To begin to lose independence while you still have faculties is a humbling lesson for pride and refining priorities. Still, good is found wherever you choose to find it.

Whatever challenges you face at the moment, perception may require a certain openness. People around you will not view their conditions the same way you view yours.  You will learn what you choose, remember what you choose, forget what feels comfortable.  People reconnect with the Divine or Forces outiside themselves to cope with inner storms.  Challenges invite you to get-to-know parts of yourself and listen more.

Amidst it all, to realize you are loved and to recall how to love yourself, ultimately help you get through anything.  Learning experiences are everywhere. They begin as a state of mind.

Rachel Naomi Remen & 5 tools to readjust your sails

Rachel Naomi Remen is the author of Kitchen Table Wisdom. Her healing perspective emerges from being a patient herself and living over forty years with chronic illness. She is also a physician and counselor and draws from real life stories.

Rachel has a gift for guiding you to uncover things you had not consciously recognized about yourself.  She has a way of empowering people to acknowledge and transcend their own self-destructive beliefs and judgments.

As you evolve within yourself, you come to sense that her insight reveals she reconnects with her spiritual core. She invites us to open up to be more receptive to the wisdom of the ultimate spiritual teacher, which she believes, is life itself. Consider these 5 tools you can use to readjust your sails;

1) Recognize receiving is not a weakness. People frequently feel drained of energy and do not always understand why this happens. You may assume it relates to what you did or did not eat. Beneath the surface, there is more to it. Some people evolve to give of themselves and do not learn how to receive in return. They exert effort caring for others and do not permit themselves to discover reciprocity. As you relax, you can learn what it feels like to be loved and cared for and transformed as a result.  

2) Choose to redirect your attention. Every experience serves more than one purpose. You grow or stagnate in ways you do not notice until you are ready to move onto another focus. As you evolve in awareness, you are ready to acknowledge particular behaviour or choices no longer serve you.  Things you have been afraid to explore within yourself require courage and encouragement. When you are ready to shift, you will choose to experience sources of pain, frustration and other negative energy.  This is part of a process to rechannel energy and gain deeper self- understanding.

3) Decide to share your feelings. Many people deny this aspect of common humanity. They are taught it is inappropriate, embarrassing, unprofessional or unnatural. They curtail the free-flow of emotional energy because they incorrectly assume no person will understand. This could not be further from the truth. Loneliness emerges as a symptom that deserves new attention.

4) Accept you will never cease to be amazed. As people collect life experience, they may decide that nothing will surprise them anymore. You may have had the same job and same friends or colleagues for a long time, and begin to think you know everyone and have symbolically seen it all. Think again. You experience moments of connection to what is going on around you but you are not always aware.

5) Remove labels and dissolve expectations. How you view things triggers stress. You unconsciously decide one choice, action or situation is better for you. This illusion leads to undesirable anxiety.   As you explore possible reasons for bad energy, you realize values and beliefs underlie your chosen labels and expectations.  If you compromise your true values, then you precipitate imbalance.  As you become more true to yourself, you begin to see stress often relates back to external pressures and expectations that you have deliberately chosen to adopt. Nothing is unchangeable.