Moving beyond addiction
Saturday, September 5, 2020 at 8:58AM "You look very insecure, sitting up there in your tree", said one highly-ranked Chinese official to a Ch'an master who enjoyed his life perched in the treetops. "Oh ho, good sir, YOU look very insecure to ME, down there on the ground!" replied the delighted master.
This often referenced Chan story contains a message which, we are told, the official was wise enough to understand. It was the official, whose life and fortune depended upon external favour and considerations, who was insecure. These were his unconscious addictions, the foundation upon which his life was built, on "shifting sands". It was his attachment to these external conditions that created his insecurity, his instability and restlessness.
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One day, the Buddha and his monks were walking down a road and were confronted by a frantic and miserable farmer racing down the road. He stopped them, saying "Good monks, I have lost my oxen, they were travelling this way. Did you see them?" The Buddha sadly replied, "No, we have not seen them. Perhaps they took the fork in the road back there." At this, the farmer wailed and continued his complaint. "Only this summer, locusts ate all my crops? What will I do?" and he ran crying down the road. The Buddha watched him go, and turned to his friends, saying "Dear monks, do you know how lucky you are? You never have to worry about your oxen or crops."
Thought and memory are the same. Until we know the difference between thought and awareness, no clarity arises. We are taught to take for granted our memories constitute who we are. Yet, 'who I am' in this moment, is not a thought. It is unrelated to what we think we have ot not. Rather, it is felt. As we are fully present, all that exists is awareness. Who is being aware? The monks know Being and no-One are the same, that is, everything. No-One is everybody. We cannot allow awareness to arise if we keep reverting to memory. The moment we feel a lack within, we feel separate, incomplete, like something is wrong or missing. This leads to addiction, the perceived need to fill a void. We do everything in our power to fill it, talk about it, do something to enable us to feel good about ourselves.
Alcoholism or other addictions allow people to experience what it is to feel uninhibited freedom. Becoming addicted to dark thoughts keeps one focused on and perpetuating the focus on the pain body. Until we realize the very nature of being is infinite. It cannot be destroyed. We forget we are whole, awareness. This starts the sense of lack, which brings separation, and the need to fill a voice from which emerges addiction and fear. We are not afraid of something. We are simply fear. This fear exists because we are convinced something is lacking. We have lost trust not only in others but also ourselves. The thought arises how could I be free of addiction? There is the amnesia of what is universal. You cannot prove it, you can only live it.
Similarly, when a person wants to know about love, he may read books, watch movies and hear about other people's experiences Yet, One does not know what love is until one begins to feel love, feel the love inside the self. Until he tastes love, feels it inside himself, he cannot know it. Truth is not something we can prove. It is self-evident. We exist. When we wish to prove, we revert to memory and get lost in the quagmire. As long as we live grounded in memory, we will fear death, old age, sickness , of so many things, everything.
The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results", says Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita. Jesus too said that the Kingdom of Heaven is ever-present. Of course, the problem is, everyone is not always fully present. We are in the future, we are in the past, we are in our memories, we are in our anxieties, we are in our fantasies! Why? Because we are attached to our story; our personal narrative. We play it inside our head constantly. As we cook, we daydream. As we drive, we fantasize. As we work, we consider what better job there is for us out there. And as we love, we all too often do the same thing. So rarely are we simply aware of what we do, simply mindful.