Eradicate anxiety

Each decision we make to define and experience hardship or conflict, enables us to feel better grounded in life, even if we continue to struggle. The end result sought in most endeavours is peace of mind. You desire to feel good about yourself, that you've made choices that cause you to be true to yourself, to do the best you can. As you ponder this idea, you'll determine ways to measure your sense of success, outside perceived reasons for anxiety, and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Everything around you is constantly changing so its wise to learn to evolve with rather than resist change.  A good question to ask yourself is, "would I rather feel right or happy?" If you would rather feel happy, then it becomes easier to let sources of frustration or worry go. If you would rather be right, and you'd even fight for vindication, you justify success on a different plane.

Illness and adversity can appear to be burdens. Yet, you have a source of contentment that is accessible inside at any moment, and despite any conditions. Have you learned to tap into it? When you feel challenged, its especially important to reconnect with this inner feeling because it reframes your sense of success. As you tap into inner peace, or learn to create it, this practice can have a positive impact on your mood and attitude and better equip you to deal with difficulties.

To have a strong and active mind may mean you frequently deliberate how to work out issues and problems. Does your mind run on over-drive? In such cases, your initial sense of success may relate solely to a satisfactory resolution. However, it is also useful to pay attention to the meaning and impact of alternate states of mind. Feelings can become your guides as you gain faith in this process.

Sometimes, solutions to your problems will be hidden or apparently inaccessible. No matter how you strain, you may not appear to get closer to solving them. This lack of progress toward perceived success may feel disconcerting. Yet, unbeknownst to you, you get closer and closer to an acceptable resolutions all the time. It's a matter of adapting how you see and interpret things.

Grow to accept your initial view of situations is not as bad as you initially thought. Understand you may create illusions and exaggerate problems. You also decide when your course of action is enough to result in feelings of success. What will happen as you believe you can eradicate your anxiety at the source? Taking greater control of your mind itself reveals success. The question is, do you belittle that mighty feat?

Vindication

Becoming a best-selling author is a widespread dream, but few people devote themselves to this harrolding path, and even fewer succeed. Despite a resume seen as impressive that has been adapted many times, I've always felt most terrified of disappointing myself, and those people who believe in my ability to succeed.

For a family with a track record of accomplishment in their individual lives, the pursuits I've chosen have differed widely, and have rarely been predictable. I realize I’ve bewildered friends and relatives with everything from space policy work to dream analysis yet, you'd think they'd sort of have been prepared. Back in high school, I was voted “Most Unique Female Graduate.”  That paved the way.

Attending and graduating from well-known universities also augured great things. The matter being, career paths I chose afterward diverged from ones that people who know a stable life would have chosen for me. Although offered a university engineering entrance scholarship, I turned that down. Many people expected me to become a physician, an option that I initially latched onto for what it represented and how I thought I could help people. I now accept that would have been too stifling and unimaginative. I had been prompted in that direction, being surrounded by medical circles in friends, acquaintances and 3 generations of physicians in my family. After all, if I was to be a success, why should my choices be different?

Years later, I still go against the grain of those early ambitions. I arrived in a mindset that I originally only dreamed. When people ask, I describe myself as a writer. I grew into that path after rigorous self-examination and self-questioning. Of course, I diverged to explore many interests along the way yet, I didn't give up on writing. During my journey into self-discovery, I realized my desire to write was never really a choice, except insofar as I chose to listen (or ignore) my inner voice. With a courage that sheltered me through difficulties worthy of novels, I now believe some roles and goals are pre-set.

My writing revelation came as I admitted the culture of achievement in which I had been raised didn't deter me from my desire to write. I'm satisfied to know I've evolved to devote time to what I feel I should be doing, not what others feel I'm supposed to be doing, based only on what they know. Now, a life fraught with uncertainty isn’t for everyone. People have worried about me. People still worry about me. They sense my life is hard, in a conventional sense. And yes, it can be challenging, but this is negative only if I choose to feel unsatisfied from following my passions. I’ve evolved to learn that we're often taught life is as hard as people convince us it should be.  Thinking for ourselves isn't taught, but learned though experience and building self-confidence.

I decided to carve out a career for myself out of something that many others, of more rational judgment, are content to discuss as a diversion from daily business, as a pending retirement project or, explore as a temporary hobby. This lack of perceived legitimacy deterred me for a long time. As a person who learns to listen to an inner voice, you learn legitmacy begins and ends in you, once you learn to separate from external expectations.

As a freelancer, I write nearly every day, apply for positions and contracts in newspapers and magazines. Payments arrive for these projects. Yet, bills have often been more regular. I've taken on many kinds of work to help support my writing ambitions. I've lectured on university campuses in different countries, collecting speaking fees and grants when possible. In retrospect, it was all to support my writing and to develop my experiences worthy of stories.

Apart from the desire to survive, I also develop long-term book projects. I spend several hours a week editing ideas and drafting and later submitting proposals. The waiting game comes next. Rejection letters from uninterested publishers and through my agent yet, all reviews have enabled me to improve my work. I'm grateful to all feedback because this enables me to better myself.

I've been inspired by many writers, and especially individuals like John Cleary. He persevered despite receiving over 534 rejections before his first acceptance of a book manuscript. He’s now been a writer 60 years, with over 8 million books sold and book number 50 is in production. He has taught me to recognize that I'm never too old or tired to adjust to a situation and to take new risks.

I still hear echoes that criticize my choices and the idea that I don’t seem to be 'making it' or creating a vision of success in the way others would perceive I should. This has prompted me to ask myself why society teaches us that we shouldn't struggle to realize our dreams. Isn't the journey and lessons learned what makes the sense of accomplishment far more worthwhile?

Sure, I like to see people who care about me also feel proud of me. The time I've spent as a freelance writer, academic article author, university lecturer, and newspaper columnist, weren't perceived as successful by others because the money I earned didn't enable me to meet my responsibilities. At the time, I became disheartened. I moved on to other things yet, I still write.

The time came when I changed my mind about where I desired to write. My determination to be a writer had evolved through my visits to over 50 countries which had been for varied purposes. Looking back, many earlier goals illuminated a light bulb in my head. The simple truth was that previous places I'd lived hadn't enabled my writing to blossom, so I moved to refine my comfort zone.

For now, I enrich and build on my roles by sharing my voice and promoting human interest stories that draw from my education and background. I know I'll write more books. Boxes of short stories wait to be organized. What is most satisfying perhaps, is knowing people who care about me realize my motivation, commitment and determination are valuable. Though writing, I teach self-acceptance is key to attracting external success.  Happiness begins and ends in me.

Living a bogus life?

Do you dream the sham was over? If you truly wish to evolve into a more authentic person, train yourself not to be bothered by how society reacts to your choices. This doesn't imply you should always rebel against rules society has established. Rather, it's up to you to explore and discover your true self. What would this mean? If the traits and skills you discover inside fit well into known social structures, that's fine. Yet, if what you learn about yourself doesn't seem compatible with what others feel you should do, you have no need to follow their goals.Do you ever question your own?

Your goal is ultimately to unveil your true character and to apply it to the best of your ability. In the minds of others, if you're unlike them, you may appear as a reactionary or non-conformist. It may seem you would disagree with other people just to disagree, even if what they said to you made sense. Sometimes people are right, for they can't always be wrong. The goal to disagree at all costs wouldn't propel you forward or help you better understand yourself.That would reinforce a bogus life.

If you see yourself as a non-conformist, you may also be a rebel. You may choose to live based on what you perceive works for you, regardless of what other people think. If you're a bit unconventional, and you evolve to follow your soul, you'll realize your goals, providing that you believe in them. You'll discover this simply requires time and concerted effort.

To become authentic then, you must stop living a bogus life. It's useful to learn to be natural, and not superficial or two-faced. If you don't express how you genuinely feel, people will not be able to trust or depend on you, and you'll feel uncomfortable in relationships without connection or depth. Do you realize the difference between when you're being true to yourself and when you're just pretending?

It's desirable to discern what feels right and what feels wrong at a given time, and to act on that. It's also desirable to re-connect with your inner self, especially if you feel alienated from what makes you who you are. Difficulties begin and end in you. Some people assume an insincere life would only lead to emptiness and unfulfillment. Why explore that hole if you could experience what it means to be real?

Chocolate destiny

Many people dream of chocolate, consider it an aphrodisiac and even legitimate food group. Chocolate lovers and supporters of its anti-oxidents may have reason to become concerned about a new chocolate debate in the U.S. that challenges the definition of chocolate itself. Should % cocoa in production mean some candies will be unable to be called "chocolate" food? Would this cause you to reflect more on the ingredients of what you consume? Or, do only the after-effects matter?

Currently, the U.S. rarely allows vegetable fats as ingredients of products labeled as "chocolate." BUT, this may be about to change. An industry trade group called the Grocery Manufacturers of America, has combiend with the Chocolate Manufacturer's Association of America, Archer Daniels Midland (ADM) and a variety of groups. They desire to incorporate cheap veggie oil and lower chocolate food value. This curious effort to lobby the FDA to weaken chocolate standards has won allies among industrial-meat interest groups. They include the National Cattlemen's Beef Assn., the National Meat Institute, National Fisheries Institute, the National Meat Canners Association. Why might such groups suddenly take an avid interest in chocolate?

Consolidated buying enables large cocoa users to wield a significant impact in economies. Big profits mean its easier for companies to take advantage of poorer nations, that rely on cocoa production as a key element in foreign exchange. ADM is a key producer of cocoa, cocoa butter and chocolate, as well as products from livestock feeds to distiller's grains and processed foods. This suggests the company is seeking a wider market influence than we imagine. As the result of ADM's efforts, Congress is leaning toward considering the latest docket agenda that would replace cocoa butter and dairy components of chocolate with cheaper vegetable fats or PGPR. This means reducing quantity of actual cocoa in the finished product and creating an unknown result. So much for encouraging public health awareness?

It's as yet uncertain if repercussions of this debate will affect companies that choose to use real cocoa butter and high quality cocoa. If markets are flooded with low-quality chocolate, the price of 'good stuff' may sky-rocket because of its increasing exclusivity. How many people realize major chocolate makers profit from unsustainable growing practices and slavery to bring you those one-dollar bars? Free trade chocolate is not the only kind that protects farmers.

Rather than eat chocolate meat because you think any chocolate is good for you, or your consumer choices don't matter, think again. The cheap stuff may become worse for your health than ever. Eating it may not support sustainable business that will positively influence the destiny of chocolate you know. Read labels! Many people hope higher cocoa % and cocoa butter content chocolate stays available. Fake chocolate is over-modified with emulsifiers and questionable sources of ingredients. The simpler the product, the less fillers, the tastier and more nutrititious it is. Chocolate lovers have the power to shape the confection's destiny.

Step away from self-sabotage

How far would you go to live your dreams? What risks do you contemplate? A sense of insecurity may cause you to avoid risks. Ask yourself why you hesitate to discover yourself. Drifting around in defeat and failure doesn't have to define your future. What looks like a mistake, isn't really a mistake at all. It's all in how you interpret it, what you choose to learn. Your family history may include serious physical illness, depression, addictions, negativity, disaster or 'wrong' choices. This track record doesn't mean you must forever identify with pain or failure. You aren't your relatives. Step away from self-sabotage. You define yourself through your own risks.

Consider the story of Santiago Munez. As an illegal Mexican-American immigrant, he worked as a gardener with his father to pay bills. His father repeatedly told Santiago he wasn’t capable of doing anything meaningful with his life and that he would always be underprivileged. When he was offered the chance of a lifetime, he chose to leave his family, his struggling life in Los Angeles and everything he knew to travel to England to a totally foreign world. His determination and belief in himself led him to exhilarating, fast-paced international soccer areans. He rose to be a star.

Consider the story of a Costa Rican boy who grew up with 17 siblings in a small apartment with a drug addicted mom. At age 15, he left for the U.S. with an older brother. About a year later, then living on the street, this 16 year old boy grew into one of the most violent gang leaders in New York’s history. At one point, a brave priest approached him to attend a church meeting. The boy reacted with ridicule. He took his gang to church, intending to disrupt the service. Yet, instead, he was moved beyond measure by a love and compassion he had never known. That turning point led him to become a missionary and evolve to counsel violent teens.

Consider the man who's relationship history includes three marriages and three divorces. After a bout with infidelity, another wife contracting cancer, and a quick fling and run to the chapel he'll seldom discuss, his view of good relationships has been severely damaged. Although employed with a stable income later in life, his self-esteem has progressively deteriorated. Yet, somewhere inside, he realized restlessness wasn't the answer. He realized hanging in limbo with a sense of self-defeat wasn't resulting in his desired reality. He took a hard look at himself, sought counselling, admitted accountability and clariifed his desires. Soon after, a kind woman entered his life. His new marriage is the most loving and meaningful yet.

Just because previous attempts to get what you wanted didn't work out, doesn't mean all is lost. You could be from a dysfunctional background, or maybe you've done things you aren't proud of. Even though you think you've repeatedly messed up, if you keep faith in your abilities, you nuture hope. If you aren't blaming the past, you may blame yourself. The only person who holds a grudge is you. You may know divorce, bankruptcy, even illegal acts. Your past choices don't have to define how you proceed from here. You decide whether you'll risk a new path. Isolate and reverse any self-defeating thoughts prevent you from doing what you aim to do.

Reach out for guidance. Learn how to put your hopes up. A positive, hopeful frame of mind will encourage you to take risks to lead a more fulfilling life. You have as many chances as you're willing to give yourself. As you give yourself another chance, you won't change the past, but you can ressurect your dreams and pursue them with new vigor. Move beyond disappointments and situations that discouraged you. You have a destiny. No matter what your perceived setbacks, you can rise above them.