Discover your inner entrepreneur

How is it a physician like Michael Crichton can abandon traditional roads and become a bestselling author and film director? Why would internist Tess Gerritsen give up 16 hour days with cardiac patients to write medical thrillers that evolve on tv and movies ? Why might a pharmacist friend of mine reduce his hours in a Chemist shop to develop an exploding family flower business?

Why would a laboratory tech physician I met in passing turn attention away from cancer grant research to explore creative market advertising? What compels a bioethics expert I met to leave teaching to pursue dreams of playing jazz sax in nightclubs? Why are people like Tony & Maureen Wheeler willing to struggle financially for over 6 years in to develop a baby like 'Lonely Planet?' These people give into passions to pursue what matters to them, and overcome a fear of losing.

For many people, a lack of fulfillment will trigger their desire to step back from life at a given time, and rethink their options. I also know musicians who have feared failure in their area of passion and turned to medicine and other professions to feel safer, and earn predictable incomes. Yet, even for them, the draw of uncertainty and opportunity to earn deeper fulfillment lingers.

Do you ever think about what may be missing in your life or what you would do if money wasn't an option? No matter what job or career you choose, you will benefit from learning how to sell yourself. At times, this skill is useful to land you a job. More importantly perhaps, the art of persuasion may be most helpful to convince yourself you have what it takes to achieve anything.

1) Desire to be accountable for outcomes. If you give yourself freedom to create art, products and services as offshoots of your deepest beliefs and talents, you realize you control the quality of what you offer, as well as how you distribute or shape your image. As you grow to recognize synergy between how you think and what you choose to do, you become accountable for your own dreams and you realize your actions will inspire others.

2) Willingness to pull your weight. Basic salaries in start up businesses may be barely enough to live on. Money isn't supposed to be the primary motivation for the true entrepeneurial spirit. Rather, its gaining the understanding that money comes when you grasp your skills well and take risks to offer them to the world. To make a decent income, you must sell enough to pay off your costs, and then, you will earn profit, commissions and empower investments.

3) Ability to redefine the rules. The constant re-invention of yourself and your priorities can itself become a tradition. Why believe you must be like everyone else? Trend-setters aren't followers. They develop courage to be a visionary or pioneer. As you learn to define the rules of your game of life, you'll do what you discern necessary to stand out from the crowd and your competitors. Being yourself rewards clients for loyalty. Believe in your own immeasurable value. Not conforming requires you to define rules. You must learn to market yourself.

4) Instinct to be bold and adapt. Business has to change in order to survive. You need to be able to sense when trends and climates are evolving, and evolve with them so as to grow in ways that enable you to influence them. Develop media saavy and connect with people and you may emerge as a 'crowd-pleaser.' Ultimately, you'll please more people as you learn what you need to do to please yourself and listen.

5) Insight to recognize 'the good, the bad & the ugly'. Self-examination enables you to better understand yourself and what image(s) and skills you aim to project, as well as assess whether what you are doing is working. Are you achieving worthwhile goals? If not, why not? Truly honest assessments are more likely to generate honest answers that you can work with. In order to nurture those audacious ideas, and begin or revise how you offer meaningful, creative output, learn to understand yourself.  You'll naturally focus on a target market and plan for future surplus profits.

Get right down to it

When you get right down to it, your sense of success will depend on things like your energy level, how you've lived life to this point, and whether you feel motivated to do new things. If your mental views of success are distorted away from what you really hope to do, you're likely familiar with and discouraged by distorted results.

As you review your understanding of morality (your perception of right and wrong), justice (how you view acceptable and unacceptable), and ownership (your view of desireable or undesireable), you will gain a deeper insight into your different ideas of success. People often forget they experience varying degrees of success in their lives because each of us has different ideas of what is possible at a given time. Do you use your own standard for success or are you influenced by other people? In this sense, success can be partly measured by how you become more aware of your beliefs and the process of expressing them or going after them.

success you can see and touch: this kind of success is measured in quantity, size, cost and status based on materialism and financial value. You can count and appraise what you have and also compare what you've got to what others have in order to evaluate how real and precious it is.

success you can feel inside: this kind of success is measured by qualitative emotions and gestures based on your connection to people, places, ideas and experiences. You depend on inuition, your sixth sense and reciprocity or reverberrations to tell you how real it is.

success you can detect in self-awareness: this kind of success is measured in how well you get-to-know youself. How content you are with your choices reveals how well you know your needs and desires are understood and met. How attuned you are to your feelings and what you accept or deny in yourself also reveals degrees of truth.

success you can map in progress: this kind of success is measured by physical and mental development. It often helps to explain your individual sense of personal growth, level of health and well-being.If you've been ill or injured, your rate of approaching full recovery is measured by things like dexterity, motor skills, appetite and renewed strength. Your baseline was the past. You could always surpass that.

success you can anticipate: this kind of success is measured by what you attract with your positive thinking, accompanying mindset and attitude. You use your hopes and dreams and how close you feel as a success gauge.

Contemplation about a future

Romantic relationships have been known to break-up when one partner or both realize things are not working.  Many factors contribute to one person leaving another.  Communication may be shaky or even non-existent.  Common issues include unmet inner needs, unsatisfied dreams and a lack of cooperative effort to realize shared goals. The partner who desires to leave may suddenly see him- or herself differently.  Personal feelings shape expectations for the present and future. 

If you consider leaving your partner or know someone who does, conselling and talking with close friends can help shed light on key issues. Reflection and self-examination are also very beneficial. It's in your interest to review why you think you were attracted initially, what appeals about your relationship, what turns you off, what have you done about it, and what steps you have taken to truly understand the pros and cons of staying and leaving. For starters, why not consider these issues: 

1)  Stability. You may be drawn to challenges or avoid them like the plague. When predictability or unpredictability are the basis for a relationship, and your original circumstances change, it can be disorienting and alienating. Figure out if your comfort zone thrives on danger and threat of loss or, a perceived guarantee of security. Either way, permanence doesn't exist. If you're always moving and alert to change, excitement may be confused with passion. If you've known no hardship, conflict or turmoil, peace may stir passion. If you choose to dwell on what you've known, you haven't yet learned to face reality of change and how a sense of stability can evolve separately from economic, health, environmental or other changes. 

2) A neurotic partner.  You may be attracted to a partner who says what you're thinking and puts words to your feelings which saves you effort.  You may never have learned how to express yourself well. If you get angry with a partner, you may not realize you're really angry with yourself, about what you're doing or not doing. What you believe you can't accept in another person is always a mirror of what you refuse to accept in yourself.What could you learn about expressing how you feel?

3) Evolving happiness. It's rare for partners to break-up when all is well. However, when views of happiness and contentment diverge, this can cause trouble.  It's useful to review issues of compatibility that initially led you to attract your partner. Ask yourself what has changed and why? Only you can know whether external conditions affect your relationship, whether its a change inside your partner and/or yourself. Consider material desires, spiritual pursuits, issues of having children and other pieces of the puzzle.  Some of your partner's qualms may surprise you. If you open your eyes, you'll discover how well you really know that person (or don't) and also how well you know (or don't know) yourself. Would you be willing to make new compromises?

4) Criticism & deficits. If your partner frequently reminds you of your failures, and is highly- critical in destructive rather than constructive ways, this may become more than your ego can bear. Before you jump to conclusions though, it can be useful to examine your track record and reasons for being defensive.  Consider why your partner may become so judgemental and what this tells you about past role models in your lives. Do you desire to be like destructive role-models? Do you know what they are? or, has this behaviour happened inadvertently?

5) Past relationships. if your partner can't stop talking about an old flame and seems convinced  a comparable person doesn't exist, you may ask yourself about whether you value reciprocity. If your partner feels safer dwelling on the past, and fears the risk of failing with someone who is caring and available, you might begin to realize a one-sided relationship isn't what you want.  How your partner reacts (or doesn't react) to your advances offers clues about the future. What would your behavior and desire to stay with such a person teach you on how you value yourself?

6) Infidelity. Some people believe in unconditional forgiveness and other people are unable to accept infidelity from a partner on any level. You think you know where you stand on this matter until it happens to you or to someone you know. Emotions or self-questioning may seriously cloud the issue.  What's important is how you feel about your partner, whether you can live with what the person has done, and the impact your decision will have on any children involved. Whatever you decide, remind yourself that understanding why infidelity happens can also teach you about yourself, your needs, and your awareness of your partner's needs. Rethink how you value honesty and vulnerability.

7) Secret resentment of demands and roles. You may be reluctant to give more of yourself and your time than is absolutely necessary to your partner. You may struggle between your desire for dependence and for independence. You may more toward love and cooperation, and also value alone time, privacy, and detachment. Indecision about where you stand on self-sufficiency and partnership or your partner's inability to clarify this, may cause you to rethink your commitment.

8) Highest hopes and ideals.  Home is the place where love is first be practised and understood before it is practiced or shared anywhere else. If you're partner isn't meeting your expectations, ask yourself whether this person is aware of your hopes and ideals and whether they're realistic. After all, you'd benefit from understanding how your expectations emerged, why you chose your partner, and what satisfying or unsatisfying these expectations represents to both of you. Since people change, hopes and ideals can change too. Do you evovle with them or against them?

Rise above limitations

You may wonder why things just don't seem to go your way.  How can this help define success? You may underestimate the impact of your self-imposed limitations and how they reverberrate.  Each person tends to identify what he or she thinks is wrong with the world, and even judges people or the self. Whether or not this sounds familiar, you may forget or not realize how everything you think, say and do affects the nature of your life now and in the future. 

Each time you add another limitation; mention something you can't do, indicate a reason why your dream won't happen, agree with experts who say your health is doomed, sigh that failure is predictable, justify why ideas are impossible, you may stifle creativity and define your life path. Although a negative comment may appear insignificant on its own, when added to the others, they may become 'the straw that broke the camel’s back.'  Suddenly, activities you could always do become difficult or your view of suffering skyrockets to beyond imaginable.  How can we discover the sources of our hidden limitations and eliminate them?

1) Learn to recognize how you limit yourself.  If you choose to focus only on your strengths and deny your weaknesses, this may hinder more than help you. Learn instead about your own reasons for your sense of weakness.  How do your beliefs hold you back?  As you realize why you benefit from all your skills and qualities, this will assist you to rise above your self-imposed limitations.

2) Ask people for input. What you perceive as your 'trouble spots' may differ from what other people think. By asking for feedback, you may open your eyes to new personal qualities you didn't recognize. Consider people who have told you what they think you can or can't do.  Other people's views of your character may not always be accurate.  It's up to you to find the courage to inquire, to learn to discern the difference and come to accept your own view of the truth.

3) Evaluate possible action. Once you have an idea of the kinds of things that hold you back, the next thing is to devise what you'll do to swing things in your favor.  Defining a challenge enables you to pay more attention to detail. Whether its the state of your health and well-being and a desire to improve a quality of life, your view of behavior in relationships or the workplace and the aim to rethink interactions, or discontent in another area of your life, its to your advantage to review possible approaches that will help you move forward on your terms.

4) Commit yourself to take action. Regardless of your circumstances, you have the choice to alter your beliefs and take new kinds of action to refine and expand on your view of success. Deciding you wish to understand yourself better is paramount.  This isn't only a desire to isolate and clarify your goals, but also a desire to learn why you fear or hesitate to reach them. Why you hold yourself back and how may ultimately surprise you. Knowing is the first step to overcoming such obstacles. 

What happens after "hello?"

More than once in your life, you may have taken a chance to speak with a stranger. It may have been just outside a hotel.  You may have asked a shopkeeper for change.  You may have stood at a bus stop or at some other venue, and something inside compelled you to open your mouth and comment on the weather.  You may have offered to help an over-loaded person carry parcels.  Perhaps you kindly offered directions or inquired about the time. Maybe you simply had had a bad day and desired to get a few things off your chest. But then, what happens after "hello?"

Of course, there's also the chance you have thought about talking to strangers, but always held yourself back.  You may feel tongue-tied, be worried about what you would say, or how your words would be peceived by others. You may lack self-confidence to take such an initiative or, you may have always been told its just not the thing to do. I've met some people who learned it could be dangerous to speak with strangers and other people who simply think it really isn't polite.

My own experience has been varied. I've learned that taking the risk to talk to a stranger isn't wise in some circumstances.  I've also learned that taking a risk to talk to a stranger can open doors of opportunity which have truly enriched my life. I suppose that as you build confidence and learn to trust your intuition, you'll learn where and when taking a risk to speak to people works or doesn't work for you.

A positive example of where I took a risk was outside of a hotel in Sydney, Australia. I had a flexible schedule for part of that day, and I struck up a conversation with a Chinese family who was waiting for a change in pedestrian light beside me. I had a map and asked if I could assist them with directions. Two of the men were living in Brisbane, and one man was accompanied by his visiting parents from Beijing. Not only was I able to offer them directions, but I ended up walking with them into the city, showing them some venues I knew, and we discovered other venues together.

As the morning went on, I showed them Hyde Park, Phillip and Cook Parks as well as Botanic Gardens. We read and laughed about foreign vegetation, and chose to watch and cheer on the competitors of tail-end of the local triathalon. I was available to take photos of strangers and they even took some with me. The Chinese visitors shared a fruit picnic with me. We watched cockatoos, ducks and other native birds beg to share.  These people discovered places they may not have otherwise seen in part because I was took the time to be with them. I also learned from them as we walked along.  Much to my pleasant surprise, I found I had a lot in common with one of them and sense we'll be able to assist each other more in the future. They were surprised that a stranger like me would help and also seem so friendly. They now have a different idea of possibilities. 

About lunchtime, I left them to continue to discover the harbour and other local areas without me. Though, what a marvelous time I had had! All this happened after I chose to say "hello." I went on with the rest of my day, reminding myself that you never know who you might meet or where, and how you might be in a position to help. Risk-taking can be a blessing, if you choose to believe in yourself and all the positive experiences waiting for you around the corner.