Answer the call

How many people have you met who did a course or a degree in one area of learning, but were unable to get a job in that field afterwards? Were your job projections inaccurate? What if technology advanced or politics closed a mine, or evolving social infrastructure made the planned career obsolete? Where does that leave you?

If you feel prevented from pursuing that thing which you aim for, this can lead to frustration and disappointment, especially with the burden of educational and other bills hangs over your head. Does helplessness linger inside? If this sounds like you or, you know someone who has had such an experience, what do you do about it? You could begin by answering a call to reflect on your existence and life strategy.

1) Reframe your life. Its no good "crying over spilt milk," which means what's already done is done.  You have chances to define your identity in meaningful ways. If you no longer function the way you had been thinking, simply learn to adapt and entertain the idea that other ways exist. Why not seek them?

2) Decide the problem lies in you. The real issue is that you may have forgotten what you learn represents tools you can use to get yourself anywhere. Don't limit yourself to apparent closed doors or missed opportunities. What steps can you take to apply your skills gained somewhere else? How can you reframe circumstances to benefit yourself and others differently?

3) Expand on your knowledge. Whatever you learned during formal training, this is not the end of your learning process. Consider that you aren't competing with anyone.  Outward reaching doesn't have to be limited to what you assumed would be waiting for you before or during study, before or during your last position. There's more to life than what you think you know already.

4) Create new opportunities. This doesn't necessarily mean you must start and run your own business. The key is to learn to market your skills to people whom you think would benefit. How are you taking initiatives to contact people and demonstrate what you can do for them? These individuals could be prospective clients, prospective employers or people who could become your mentors.

5) Accept what you hadn't seen. Its possible the work future you foresaw for yourself was missing something. Many kinds of service roles exist, and you may not considered one to which you would be well-suited. Your biggest challenge may be to see beyond your own agenda. The needs you perceived within yourself may not be your fundamental needs at all. Society may have adapted to reveal what your true needs and desires are. Look at your conditions as a blessing. How will you react?

Shoot for the Moon

Many people will reflect back on their lives about chances they took and wonder why they did it.  They may not like how results have evolved. Perhaps you know someone who feels regret?  Risk-taking assumes you think a bit about the implications before you take action.

The reason you would assume an experience is risky was because some potential outcomes aren't desirable. Yet, possible appealing outcomes are strong enough to motivate you to take chances beyond your norm.  As you conetmplate taking risks, consider these preliminary questions to sink your heels in:

1) Where does your allegiance lie?  What you're willing to gain or lose is often linked to your priorities, those people or situations which enrich your life. How does it affect your choices?

2) How do you need to suffer?  Ever heard the line, "no pain, no gain?" Some people assume they must offer something in return for their eventual sense of success. What will you give of yourself? Will it be physical exertion, emotional stamina, or some other branch of who you are?

3) What needs would you forego?   Taking risks implies you feel ready on some level to embrace change.  This kind of attitude involves reviewing and redefining your basic needs and perceived needs above and beyond that.  As you change, your needs will evolve. To risk new kinds of desires, self-image and self-acceptance go hand-in-hand.  How do risks cause you to rethink who you are?

4) Why not shoot for the Moon?  If you sense its time to promote transition or really make big changes, its possible you'll sense it will motivate you to raise your own expectations.  You may be more likely to take a risk if you foresee a justifiable outcome on the horizon. Work towards it!

Better late than never

Throughout our lifetimes, we're given opportunities to learn from our experiences.  You may ask yourself what you would choose to learn.  You may also turn a blind eye from lessons available right in front of you.  Why is it some people choose to ignore lessons they could learn and from which they would benefit? Maybe its a question of being ready and willing to take that next step forward.  When will you feel ready to experience a new level of freedom in your own life? 

If you feel you don't know how to learn, or what you should learn at this point and time, you may feel isolated inside yourself.  Each time you reach out to find sources of fulfillment in the world outside, you will be disappointed.  The key lesson you need to learn, sooner rather than later, is you create the life you wish to lead from within yourself. Does this sound easier said than done?

Consider that you have the freedom to pursue your dreams or to stifle them.  You have the freedom to leave home and venture out into the world, or to stay within your comfort zone.  You have the freedom to make choices which affect the happiness of other people and that also affect the level of happienss you experience yourself.  As you make choices, you're learning more about when you pretend and when you really act to define new bearings.  Its never too late. 

Take a chance on you

In the minds of a lot of people, doing different things than usual implies taking a risk. After all, you may wonder whether you can "pull it off" and feel you really succeed in a new venture. The key thing to recognize is risk-taking is an exercise in confidence-building.  You may not be able to predict the exact outcome, but to have faith in positive things will likely take you far.

Ask yourself when was the last time you took a chance on yourself? When was the last time you believed that you could do something that excited you, motivated you, regardless of what other people around you thought of it?  You may not remember the last time. If you take chances often, do you realize that other people could be watching and learning from your courage?

As each day passes, realize that your choices define who you are and who you aspire to be.  By taking risks, even small ones, you are testing yourself and developing inner strength you will be able to benefit from later. Remind yourself that looking deep inside can help you to overcome fear that prevents you from taking risks.  Informed risk-taking would be good for you.  This implies you learn to imagine possible results of risk-taking and would be willing to accept varied outcomes.

Once you decide to stop trying to figure out what to do and focus on decisions that will lead you to become who you wish to be, you will discover new benefits to risk-taking.  You may feel more comfortable to ponder the percieved pros and cons of change before taking risks.  That's fine.  Take approaches that work for you. Baby steps may work best.  Move at your own pace. 

Re-set boundaries

At different times in your life, people will cross your personal boundaries.  You will sense this as you grow uncomfortable and trigger an emotional reaction from inside you.  Marshall Rosenberg's insightful book, Non-Violent Communication offers four ideas to assist you to avoid becoming overly emotional and defensive.  Do you know where your feelings originate and why?

1) Separate Observation from Evaluation.  Underneath all that is happening, to what are you actually responding?  You may be upset about something completely different or unrelated to the person who has somehow pushed you 'over the edge.' Refrain from scapegoating and letting off steam in inappropriate ways, such as lashing out.

2) Identify how you feel.  Isolate the feelings that stem only from you and grasp the choices of words that you may use to victimize yourself.  Learn not to give other people power over your emotions, to make you feel things.  Be accountable and work through all your discomfort.

3) Pinpoint your needs.  What do you aim or hope to get out of this set of conditions?  What is realistic versus desirable?  Start with intuition and then list what you seek from this person or relationship. What will you do so not to go too far in expecting too much. Where would this be?

4) Formulate a request.  How you approach a person influences the reaction you'll get.  If you demand, people don't often react well.  If you say nothing, people will assume you don't desire anything.  Figure out what you seek and formulate it in a way to show how it would benefit the other person to give you what you seek.  Kosher strategies wouldn't involve threats or blackmail.