Bury the hatchet

Stop simply dreaming of moving forward in relationships.  Learn to move beyond incidents with an adversary that hold you back. Whatever grudge, hostilities or hard feelings you hold onto, are worth letting go. Consider the positive things you miss.  The forgiveness process may initially seem easier said than done. Yet, starting somewhere will make all the difference. Ask yourself what messages you send to yourself through your relationships.  Why do you attract and why? 

The idea of ‘burying a hatchet’ originated with the American Indian tradition of what chiefs of tribes literally did when they came to a peace agreement. It is recorded from the 17th century in English, but what it refers to is much earlier, possibly pre-dating the European settlement of America. Earlier literature refers to the concept as “hurling the hatchet as far into the depths of the earth as possible.” What kinds of things would influence you to "let bygones be bygones?”

1) Recognize the benefits in simplicity. You may be surprised how a deeper sense of satisfaction and closure can be brought about by just telling yourself it’s possible to move on. Forget about striving to predict how many things may go your way and what control you may or may not exert later over that person.  Lost time building your life elsewhere isn’t worth it.

2) Move toward inner harmony. Getting more comfortable with what has transpired enables you to move closer toward inner peace. You can realize balance between positive and negative thinking.  A wealth of wisdom is available to you.  All you must do is tap into your views on the nature of existence and whom gives it positive meaning. If you don't like someone, move on.

3) Retain valuable lessons. How you feel about someone else mirrors back feelings you sense inside yourself. If you see someone as an adversary and you disagree with his or her decisions, what does this tell you about yourself? Your eagerness to get into certain situations? And work in particular environments? What can you retain and re-apply?

4) Grasp that you determine what happens. It may be a bit of a shocker, but you actually imagine and create your experiences and encounters with people. You may not have been aware of the power you exert, but you can visualize your life differently from here. You will choose to forgive and proceed when you have learned what you needed to learn from that person and situation and you’ll grow.

5) Recall what you told yourself before. Which reasons could you have had for wanting to get into a situation you considered frustrating or challenging? Why might you have invited an encounter with an incompatible person? Your choices are the tools which shape what you will eventually experience. As you follow the thread back to possible motivations, this will assist you to evolve inside and move on.  What other people choose is their business. You control yourself.

Robert Perkins: 3 Steps from Wall Street to Wilderness Canoe

Back in the summer of 1987, Robert Perkins quit his job as a Wall street insurance executive and flew to the remote Canadian town of Yellowknife. He dropped a 17-foot canoe into the Back River, in the deep Northwest Territories. This man carried with him everything he would need to survive and document the 72 days and 600 miles he predicted would be required to become the first solitary canoeist ever to reach the river's mouth at the Arctic Ocean. Why the rush?

After years as a printmaker and struggling to be a full-time painter, he fell in love with a woman whose family wanted him to prove he could get a good job, make money, and earn respect. Eager for approval, he responded to the challenge by landing a corporate Manhatten job, and the couple moved in 1984. Two months later, the woman left him because he was no longer the man she knew. Perkins felt very alone with his new job and financial security. After two years, physically and emotionally exhausted, all he could think about was quitting and finding a canoe in the wilderness. What can we learn from his quest for solitude?

1) True wisdom is found far from people. The only way you can listen to yourself is to learn to step back from what you know and learn to perceive differently. Rethink your understanding of space and time, as well as priorities. What are your external influences? What can you discard? Perkins realized that the life he had created for himself wasn't what he really wanted. As he looked more deeply into nature, he realized this was a way to experience his feelings as they were.

2)Establish your sense of worth. Perkins felt defeated and guilty in the world he had created for himself. His family couldn't grasp why he headed off in a canoe to the Arctic. He came to the point where had to do something and redefine his view of an acceptable way of living. If he was to go up there to die, that was his choice. He accepted the unforeseen consequences. He chose the journey and took the risk as a challenge to prove himself to himself and to nobody else.

3)Create your own sense of "validation." Step back from society or other reasons you think you need external approval. Perkins became fascinated with his own shadow. Seeing himself for what he was was the only thing that validated him. This proved he existed. In such a situation, with life focused on survival, a person just doesn't care what other people think. Get to the point where you can "make up your own mind," In essence, you are your only company and muct take strengths and weaknesses at face value.

Isabella Lucy Bird Bishop & 5 Reasons to nurture hope

In 1892, Isabella Lucy Bird Bishop became the first woman to be elected to the Royal Geographic Society. At age 21, she began to travel.  Her family sent her on a sea voyage hoping that the travel would be good for her health. She ended up circling the globe three times, at times traveling by elephant.

This adventurer evolved to share her stories as she wrote books, including The English Woman in America (1856), The Hawaiian Archipelago (1875), A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains (1879), Unbeaten Tracks in Japan (1880), Journeys in Persia and Kurdistan (1891), and Korea and Her Neighbors (1898). Her altrusim led her to found hospitals in China and Korea.  What can we learn from the personality of this worldly woman?

1) Challenge conventional wisdom.  Just because people tell you what's good for you doesn't mean they know you or your potential. Isabella Bishop turned the situation of her illness into an excuse to discover parts of herself she hadn't known before.  She challenged what was seen as 'acceptable' and 'appropriate' for women of her era.  She gained insight into herself and did what worked for her.

2) Establish your own way of living.  You may not know exactly what you desire to do or what makes you feel comfortable at that point in your life. Recognize that exploring your interests and options is how you'll discover the sources of your passion. Isabella Bishop turned to writing as a way not only to reflect on her experiences, but also to share cultural lessons she had learned. You too will find your way, so long as you find courage to take intiial steps to get going somewhere.

3) Direct your vision inward.  Temporary disorientation can be remedied by looking into yourself and listening to your inner voice. if you haven't heard that before, its time to discover an effective inner guide. Isabella Bishop learned to trust herself when society and her friends and family were at least initially uncomfortable with some her choices.  She nurtured faith in herself.

4) Follow your instincts.  To orient  yourself and create a hopeful future, it pays to listen to your instincts.  This means you learn to develop trust your dreams. Isabella Bishop realized what each of us creates in the 'her and now' develops through thoughts and hopes as well as action.  As you continue to imagine where you're not, but where you'd like to be, this is how you'll get there.

5) Push your own limits.  Regardless of what other people are doing, you establish your own standards and goals. In order to motivate yourself, pushing yourself beyond what you have already done will keep you motivated and inspired to continue living a mroe fulfilling life than you know.  Isabella Bishop became a pioneer in her own right, not simply to become a lady of firsts, but to pursue her dreams.  She figured out there was much to learn in this mutli-dimensional world.

Don't tip the waiter

The "Don't Tip the Waiter" game requires players to construct a cardboard waiter, balance him on a precarious stand, and to take turns stacking cardboard plates of food on his serving platter. The first person to overload him and tip him over loses the game. Much like the game of life, success implies grasping when you have enough on your plate so not to topple over. Is your life that easy?

If you're like many people, you undertake more activities than you can realistically manage. You may sense overdoing it is a punishment or a requirement that is part of your learning process.  To know what's good for you means you take time to deal with the tasks you've set out for yourself. You need not do things all at once. Yet, if you do, you'll progress as you choose to learn from the results. For people who don't choose to learn lessons, they may repeat negative experiences. These people will invite similar challenges into their lives until they learn to manage them.

Remind yourself that success is attainable in different forms at different times in your life. If you desire a miracle, success even takes that form as you work toward it.  It's useful to consider various possibilities. No feeling of imbalance is beyond repair. Why wait for other people to discern what you can or can't do? To judge you from outside looking in doesn't mean they know you as well as you know yourself. No incorrect definition of success exists. The implications for us all are enormous.

Umbrella of life blown inside out

Umbrellas startle us when they're blown inside out. Human instinct is to struggle against the winds of change. Some people dream of controlling their lives like an umbrella, yet, deciding to live in a new place can become more or less than you expect. The acts of organizing and packing house certainly offer opportunities for learning about yourself. Did you ever realize that what you choose to take and what you choose to give away or part with reflect much about your mindset and level of personal growth? Ask yourself what you think you need now as compared to how you felt in your last place? You will begin to notice that certain things about you have changed. What do subtle nuances reveal about your character?

1) Your desire to move was triggered by some event. Perhaps you outgrew your old place or, something about the neighbourhood no longer suited you. Perhaps it was a job opportunity that caused you to consider re-locating? Maybe you'd like to have pets and where you live didn't allow them? If you were forced out, you may have been evicted or, as a renter, you may not have lived up to conditions of the lease.  Heck, maybe the landlord decided to sell and the new owner had other plans for the place you used to call home. Whatever the case, you were ready for change. In your mind, this was a step to improve your circumstances. You chose to reframe your priorities. Consider implications for yourself and for people you know. Why is this good for you?

2) The timing and conditions of your move are perfect.You may be exhausted after the collecting boxes and wrapping breakables in newsprint. You may have lifted furniture or been fortunate to direct hired movers or kind-hearted friends who sacrificed afternoons or weekends. Your moving experience requires choices and decisions about what is best for you and where. If you don't ask for help in this process, does it mean you're a glutton for punishment, you're broke or, you have another plan in mind? Remind yourself that at some point in life before the move, you sensed that something was incomplete. Are you getting closer to a sense of completion? Your inner change isn't finished until you decide. How do your visible, external transitions mirror inner changes? What kinds of new views are you beginning to notice?

3)Change occurs in multiple directions. Scientists will tell you, "that which is built is constantly being destroyed; that which seems lost is being used to build the New." Change is frequent and natural. Many times we hear people say, 'I hate change.' We all have abilities to envision and imagine an appealing life. Not everyone has the courage to carve it out. As you learn to refine your mental tools, you'll not only look forward to change, but you'll realize you're consciously reshaping your reality to feel more comfortable with who you are. If you feel like an umbrella, you may wish to stay blown inside out because change enables you to benefit from the directions and timing of opportunities that present themselves.