Better late than never

Throughout our lifetimes, we're given opportunities to learn from our experiences.  You may ask yourself what you would choose to learn.  You may also turn a blind eye from lessons available right in front of you.  Why is it some people choose to ignore lessons they could learn and from which they would benefit? Maybe its a question of being ready and willing to take that next step forward.  When will you feel ready to experience a new level of freedom in your own life? 

If you feel you don't know how to learn, or what you should learn at this point and time, you may feel isolated inside yourself.  Each time you reach out to find sources of fulfillment in the world outside, you will be disappointed.  The key lesson you need to learn, sooner rather than later, is you create the life you wish to lead from within yourself. Does this sound easier said than done?

Consider that you have the freedom to pursue your dreams or to stifle them.  You have the freedom to leave home and venture out into the world, or to stay within your comfort zone.  You have the freedom to make choices which affect the happiness of other people and that also affect the level of happienss you experience yourself.  As you make choices, you're learning more about when you pretend and when you really act to define new bearings.  Its never too late. 

Take a chance on you

In the minds of a lot of people, doing different things than usual implies taking a risk. After all, you may wonder whether you can "pull it off" and feel you really succeed in a new venture. The key thing to recognize is risk-taking is an exercise in confidence-building.  You may not be able to predict the exact outcome, but to have faith in positive things will likely take you far.

Ask yourself when was the last time you took a chance on yourself? When was the last time you believed that you could do something that excited you, motivated you, regardless of what other people around you thought of it?  You may not remember the last time. If you take chances often, do you realize that other people could be watching and learning from your courage?

As each day passes, realize that your choices define who you are and who you aspire to be.  By taking risks, even small ones, you are testing yourself and developing inner strength you will be able to benefit from later. Remind yourself that looking deep inside can help you to overcome fear that prevents you from taking risks.  Informed risk-taking would be good for you.  This implies you learn to imagine possible results of risk-taking and would be willing to accept varied outcomes.

Once you decide to stop trying to figure out what to do and focus on decisions that will lead you to become who you wish to be, you will discover new benefits to risk-taking.  You may feel more comfortable to ponder the percieved pros and cons of change before taking risks.  That's fine.  Take approaches that work for you. Baby steps may work best.  Move at your own pace. 

Re-set boundaries

At different times in your life, people will cross your personal boundaries.  You will sense this as you grow uncomfortable and trigger an emotional reaction from inside you.  Marshall Rosenberg's insightful book, Non-Violent Communication offers four ideas to assist you to avoid becoming overly emotional and defensive.  Do you know where your feelings originate and why?

1) Separate Observation from Evaluation.  Underneath all that is happening, to what are you actually responding?  You may be upset about something completely different or unrelated to the person who has somehow pushed you 'over the edge.' Refrain from scapegoating and letting off steam in inappropriate ways, such as lashing out.

2) Identify how you feel.  Isolate the feelings that stem only from you and grasp the choices of words that you may use to victimize yourself.  Learn not to give other people power over your emotions, to make you feel things.  Be accountable and work through all your discomfort.

3) Pinpoint your needs.  What do you aim or hope to get out of this set of conditions?  What is realistic versus desirable?  Start with intuition and then list what you seek from this person or relationship. What will you do so not to go too far in expecting too much. Where would this be?

4) Formulate a request.  How you approach a person influences the reaction you'll get.  If you demand, people don't often react well.  If you say nothing, people will assume you don't desire anything.  Figure out what you seek and formulate it in a way to show how it would benefit the other person to give you what you seek.  Kosher strategies wouldn't involve threats or blackmail.

You know how to do it

People will complain about what they can't do, and aren't doing, and yet, we already have access to solutions.  Why is it people don't desire to share information they have to help themselves and others? Effort leads to outcomes. Perhaps you're afraid? What prevents you from reviewing and re-evaluating your existence and outcomes?

Consider different understandings of existence.  What you see and feel are linked to the kind of solutions you perceive through your senses. Yet, only dwelling on this level of understanding prevents you from seeing the whole picture and your potential. You have access to wider views. 

Another view of existence consists of intangible things such as your mind and ego, invisible information and different forms of energy.  You know water takes on different forms.  You know life forms vary widely.  Your energy takes on different emotions that you feel even though you don't necessarily see them.   You can tap into them and learn how inter-relationships can evolve to be mutually-beneficial. 

Awareness and what you think you know, is a separate sense of existence again.  Looking around, you can grasp occurrences that define their own sense of time and space unrelated to you.  You can change yourself with respect to your surroundings or with respect to your own impulses.

Speculate how your emotions are recycled energy that you choose to package based on your relationships with people and situations. This tells you that you have the tools you need to react differently next time, and you can recall what worked or didn't work for you before.  Accept the value to be found in each learning process.

Digest the possibilities

What does the desire to goal-set mean about you? This concept has different meanings for each of us. Some people feel the need to identify a target to self-motivate or make anything happen. Other people recognize value in committing to a series of goals that are supposedly leading to longer-term conditions.

Whatever your mindset, goal-setting can play a beneficial role in your life, if you choose to evaluate what courses of action would suit you, and what you will have to contribute to the process to get something desirable back. Consider these aspects of the process:

1)How would you like your life to change? Goals can be like the signposts you outline to guide you through your own evolution. You may not realize your attitude, mindset and thought process all influence how you think you would like your life to change and also what you really want. Reflecting on why you desire to aim to create certain experiences will help you understand this. This phase is the time to self-examine, determine wht may be missing and what you could do to fill a void in your life. Only after you discern something is missing might you act to change that.

2)What will be possible implications for whom?Its easy enough to voice a desire to create change in your life, but you may not be used to recognizing how change will affect other areas of your life. Your commitment to one thing may require sacrifices and compromises elsewhere.  Are you ready to deal with the reactions of people in your life to yoru desired changes? What if they disagree with your priorities? Communication with people oustide of yourself may be a beneficial part of the goal-setting process. Who will your new goals affect and how? Would you be willing to spend less time with loved ones? Are you ready to sacrifice part of your life or disrupt family routines to care for sick friends or relatives? If so, for how long?

3) Are you aware of possible physical tolls? When you claim a desire to accomplish something, you may not factor in the physical exertion it will require to reach your goal, and also what you will have to manage afterwards. These are not matters meant to scare or deter you, but rather, to remind you that goal-setting is more than an emotional planning exercise. If physical training will be required, do you plan to keep this up as part of a long-term change in lifestyle? Would gaining weight as the result of having children be something you would later take steps to lose?

4)Where will new responsibilities lie? You may come to associate a level of responsibility with the process of goal-setting as well as following through. To devote yourself to a cause or dream is not something you desire to abandon during growing phases. Acquiring a pet, seeking a new job, developing new relations, having children, working on your self-image, health, fitness or entrepreneurial skills, are but some of the goals that involve an ongoing learning process. Your existence may be set to connect with other people, creatures and circumstances. To step back and recognize the profound terms will contribute to new fulfillment.

"We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." -Thich Nhat Hanh