Stop punishing yourself

Analysis of the week submitted by D.H of Vancouver, Canada.

Dream- I was standing in a bright hallway, by a door that had a window to the outside. In the next room a woman was screaming. She was being murdered and I knew this. Yet I was rooted to the spot. Strangely I don't recall feeling fear, just quiet reserve.

The screams stopped and this man came around the corner of the hallway carrying a bloody axe. His grin was evil and his eyes were fixed on me. Telepathically we communicated and I knew I had to follow him or he would kill me right there. In a sense I think I was buying time by following him. I was aware of another person with me suddenly (I think it was my younger brother); we are close.

I stood at the top of the stairs to the cellar where this killer motioned for us to go. The other person had started down the stairs ahead of me and I turned to look back at the door / window. There was a young boy standing on tip toes staring through the glass with wide eyes. He could see the bloody axe.

Our eyes met and I silently mouthed the words, "Help Me". His eyes widened further when at that same time the man with the axe saw him and started towards him. He ran off in a flash and the man with the axe turned his attention back to me.  Down the old wooden stairs I went, into the cellar. It was dark, musty, and smelled of blood and gasoline. I knew he was going to kill us and then set the home on fire. My brother had disappeared.

My thoughts shifted away from going along with this. I heard my voice say, "I have to go to the bathroom," as I suddenly turned and began to climb back up stairs. The man with axe protested and started to follow. I pictured that bright window where the young boy had been. Somehow knew I would be free. I awoke as I was nearing the top of the stairs with the man close behind

Predominant Emotions- Fear, shame, anxiety, growing hope

Interpretation- Different parts of a house gain meaning based partly on what you experience in these places. Carl Jung links rooms and levels with symbolic layers of the unconscious. If you believe the basement is the foundation of your psyche, and your character grows from there, then the root of your discomfort is in early memories. According to you, something stinks about your childhood. You desire to release emotions that may include rejecting or doubting certain of your abilities.  Part of you fears the implications. You contemplate the benefits of being honest to distract yourself from the source of your discomfort.

Blood is a reassuring energy source at the same time as a possible reminder someone or something is bleeding you dry. You may be overthinking or over-doing it. This does not have to imply financial resources are being depleted. If a person or project is draining you like an energy vampire, then you are starting to realize you must behave differently in order to find alternative energy sources and fulfillment.

Part of you is running scared. You are suffering for what seems to be due to the behavior of others. You may interpret it as coercion, intimidation, exploitation or some other sense of being used. Remind yourself what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In the end, you always choose how to feel and which lessons you will learn from the experience.

Contrary to what you may think at this moment, you are never useless or powerless. The reason people start to feel some level of failure is because they forget how to believe in themselves. Anxiety is a feeling ability that prevents you from feeling too safe or complacent. Without it, some people assume their learning will stagnate and survival is less within ther control. Something has triggered anxiety you thought you had put behind you. Although useful when deadlines loom and as a means of keeping you focused, you are permitting anxiety due to biological factors to become blurred with that grounded in fear. Only you can uncover and resolve unresolved conflicts. Stop punishing yourself.

Comments

[Davina]

Hi Liara. Wow this is fantastic! Thank you for taking the time and sharing your interpretation of this dream. There is a lot here and I will marinate with what you've said. Imagine that... it's almost too much to absorb all at once... The basement and childhood memories strike a huge chord.

[Liara Covert]

Davina, different kinds of dream analysis can always trigger additional clarity. Dreamers will awaken from anxiety dreams when the emotional build-up becomes too intense. When a person escapes from a nightmare by awakening, this is not an effective way to deal with the root cause of discomfort. It is merely a temporary solution to postpone or repress something you are not ready to face. Some people evolve to train their mind to face challenges and explore unconscious fears through dreams. Anyone can learn to master situations. Each person learns to do things at his or her own pace. Sometimes, people choose to work with someone who guides the self-reflection process. Options always exist.

[Davina]

You know, I hadn't considered that by awakening, I had escaped dealing with the root cause of the discomfort. That bugs me! :-)

[soulMerlin]

Dear Liara ~ I have written down what came to me when I read the dream. I realise I am talking about myself.

"Dear Everyman ~ The murderer represents your fears. You did not go to save the woman - you disassociated yourself from her in the same way you disassociate yourself from your own fears. If you do not confront your fear(s), he will come with the axe of destruction. Your brother wishes to support you and wants you to move on in your life, but his supportive message is too much for you and you look through the window of time, at the image of your own youth, when you could act with simple bravery. You are asking the 'you' of your past to help the 'you' of your 'now'. But you are procrastinating and finding diversions and 'bathroom-visits' to delay your inevitable confrontation with the object(s) of your fears - your un-personified man with the axe. You look to the window and your young self has gone - You must be brave and you must no longer put things off. You must act."

This post is exactly what I needed to start 2009. :)

xhenry

[soulMerlin]

I read your analysis after I entered my first comment. It was like looking at a diamond from a different angle/viewpoint/perspective...then I read this line from you comment to Davina:

"It is merely a temporary solution to postpone or repress something you are not ready to face."

When I look through two mirrors - I see how I look from the outside and I see my problems reflected in others. I know I am able to heal them and also myself....when I get out of the bathroom. :)
xh

[Liara Covert]

Davina, healing is a process. You are constantly aligning levels of awareness with levels of your perception that are selectively aware by choice. The feelings that you do not initially acknowledge are those that capture your attention because of your desire for deeper healing. You always come to conscious realisations at exactly the right time for you. If you are not ready to face a fear, then your conscious mind will deny it or, just not remember.

[Liara Covert]

henry, dreams may be less about requesting things we want than about teaching us to detach from thoughts and behaviours that do not serve us. Dreams invite part of you to explore beyond fear, which is itself an attachment. You are also encouraged to discover feelings beyond hope and other feelings which are also conditioned attachments. As you reframe the nature of your life, you do not change the world or some fragment of reality, you alter perspective.

[Davina]

Thanks Liara. That is comforting.

@xhenry. Thanks for sharing your interpretation. It's interesting that I wasn't aware of a sense of disassociation in the dream, and felt no obligation to save that woman. In my waking life I feel fear very strongly, but I tend to maintain a sense of calm reserve from the outside.

I prefer to stay out of the bathroom too :-)