Equanimity is what you are
Notice the resistance that arises at the prospect of facing adversity. Sitting meditation in silence offers ideal conditions for preliminary practice, to develop tools to face what evokes discomfort, and yet, sitting as such is not the real thing. True meditation happens when you are amidst the action, the chaos, when you face impossible people, intense emotions, unavoidable situations. During such conditions, can you keep the mind in silence, solitude and peace? To do so, we must first raise awareness and stop attacking ourselves. Many of us have a mind split into a victim, rescuer and/or attacker for ourselves or "others". We may even change roles. Still, when we are fiercely equanimous, we do not perpetrate or yield to threats, do not cave at emotional manipulation or implications, remain unaffected from attacks and guilt-trips that come from our superego, our own unconscious. We dissolve it by refusing to ratify it. By calmly abiding, we see through the unreal. The ego mind attacks, would like us feel bad about ourselves, stuck in a spiral. The only way out of it is to stop being an ego self, be unaffected by desire or fear, pain or enjoyment. Our true practice is to come to view suffering as a mental exercise. Most of us are taught to fear death, pain and other challenges. Yet, to a Zen master, all are great blessings. The view is our enemies are our greatest gifts to evoke love, passion, forgiveness, self-empowerment in the realisation of the unity of all that is. They guide us to let go of the ego mind, that which would like to be in pain, to be in a state of inadequacy, guilt, shame, attacking or peaceless self -justification or self-reproach. These are all false relationships with the real. The Supreme Being is within us. Only through awareness and alignment with Soul can we claim this power. A guru cannot give it. Mantras or other spiritual practices do not give it. One must claim it and with the power of will, integrate it into our life. It happens when we are in a state of deep honesty and truthfulness with ourselves. If we allow it, our inner voice can sting us worse than a sword. Let us focus on remaining in unwavering stillness. Let us not react, but move instead into that state that dissolves into the pureness of our Being which is love. Let us follow our breath. Get into the mind of silent presence. This vital life force, or equanimity is what you are and it cannot be lost.