Decoding trauma leads us to truth

Notice that Truth emerges out of trauma, even layers and layers of trauma as one finds unimaginable courage to to sift through it. This process is about exploring taboos and caverns within us that the mind has us believe are out of bounds, covered with no trespassing signs. Yet, being undeterred from what mind scares us into believing is "mischief" , non-conformity, even instills fear of death or God, is the yellow brick road in disguise, the ultimate path into the unknown that allows the wizard behind the curtain to reveal itself.

Turns out, truth is the unbearable knowledge we are taught to fear and avoid, what ego develops around to hide deeper realities. Truth leaves ego speechless, utterly crippled, unable to know how to relieve its agony as its very existence is threatened. It avoids "Truth" entirely by developing the imaginary level of consciousness. This is where we create an idea of false self that is tolerable and can allow ego to manage the unbearable reality it has to face. It also creates familliar physical senses to ensure the real does not erupt in the face. So, unbearble familliar knowledge becomes repressed, forgotten. Amnesia hits. One becomes clueless, deliberately throwing away the key to knowing itself.

As a strategy, ego creates a symbology, a logical or rational way of seeing and analysing things to ensure the mind stays trapped in the imaginary world. That level of the the symbolic only affirms the imaginary. It simply creates more karma and confusion. True symbology enables us to see through the illusions of imaginary reality that the conscious ego exists in. That conscious level of ego existence is no more than a prison or hell room, (some call it a red room and have fun here for a time). Yet the growing agony of limitations that the imaginary register create difficulty, forces one to play a character that one knows is not one real Self. One feels its an inauthentic being . This cripples the possibility of any lasting happiness and lasting relationships.

To know true happiness, the ego must be released to rediscover what is truly real. This differs from what has been accepted as real, conceptualized as such and then repressed. The act of meditation begins by dropping all concepts to offer a glimpse of truth. At first, this is dropping of imaginary concepts, then the eruptions of the real must be felt and dropped. This brings on the dark night of the soul. Then as all unconscious is recognized as unreal, and the shock of reality may feel like hitting rockbottom.

Despite this, the ultimate trauma for ego is real love. The love ego seeks is the love that reinforces its own illusory existence, that is, conditional love. The ego cannot become vulnerable enough to love deeply or know true intimacy. Ego can only express love as insatiable desire. The desire to be desired is simply the desire to be seen as an object, a body lusted after, used, possessed, defiled by the other. That kind of love is sought as a way to deal with other unbearable trauma. Of course, the awake being knows this is not real love. For it simply leads to more desire for illusory love to fill an emptiness that cannot be filled.

The only way to be free of this is to discover what true love is for oneself. Only through direct experience then does it dawn that you are more than a body. more than a mind, more than emotion. The love that comes from one's own heart is something the ego can never reach. The ego is too repressed to allow itself to be open. To find courage to enter the heart and rediscover love, we rediscover chakra 5, the ability to refute or dismantle the fantasies that have been destroying one's life and crippling one's capacities to manifest one's potential. Yet, once one has access to real love, the ego and power it exerts over consciousness, is dissolved. This fabrication was only meant to enable a helpless child to survive, not to be in charge of the adult body.

One continues to run from oneself, continues to fall into repressed infantile states, until one is ready to grow up, let go of dependency. This is about taking responsibility. We each have ability to self sabotage . As we recognize the ego's folly, nothing to fear. Demons are mental delusions, memory traces. Monsters we project are inviting us to lturn within, see the source of fear. So long as we choose to live in the past, we do not value or fully embody the real truth. Real Love leads one to the real Self.