Urges to respond or not

It's often said that the greatest urge human beings have is actually to be recognized and appreciated.  Do you feel these urges to receive this kind of compassion and attention? Consider whether your primary focus is in yourself or in other things. Do you tend to focus the subjects on you? It's possible to review and live up to your expectations. You have power to shape your life.

In my own life, I've met many people who have developed conditioned reactions to criticism.  A popular reaction is the urge to respond back, often on the defensive. Sensitive people do this.  Perhaps such reactions are familiar to you?  Whether or not you realize it, you can take a kind approach which opposes this urge.  Instead, why not suprise the person who criticizes you and agree with what they say.  This would acknowledge how intelligent and perceptive this person is and recognize him or her as valuable.  You could always expand by re-stating your point of view in a less-threatening way afterward.  If you happen to disagree with the critic, you can still accept it and respect it for what it is. A good rule of thumb is

1) recognize the other person's feelings in a positive way

2) express how you have felt in the past and why

3) identify how the present can positively influence your future (value the critic)

Adjust your sails

If you know where you wish to go and what you aim to do, then whetever pace you choose to take actually helps you get there.  Rather than focus on what other people do or don't do, say or don't say, why not focus on your own race? Ultimately, you only really compete against yourself.

Of course, if you put yourself on a boat with an inspiring mentor, or someone who strikes you like he knows what he's doing, that person will always sense just when it's time to adjust his sails.  He can intuit the direction of the wind.  He reminds you that you can always find your own wind.   It can be helpful to re-evaluate your standards based on the bevhavior of people you admire.  Yet, teach yourself not to judge yourself or others. Instead, orient your life based on how you're inspired.

Regardless of what anyone says, you are never a victim of circumstance. You have every reason to be excited about where you are, what you're doing, and how you are evolving.  As you learn to get emotional about a dream, the power of emotionals goal will motivate you to commit.  How long it takes you to reach your own goals is directly related to the clarity of your own vision.  If you don't have a strong vision, you can always revise it and review your progress.  Ask yourself an open-ended question and plan how your circumstances will unfold.  Make it happen.

Perpetual change

No event, no relationship, no feeling, no joy or sadness, no situation, ever stays the same.  All setbacks are a matter of perception. Even setbacks themselves change. Why? Higher Forces empower us to shape our perception, to evole with our understanding and acceptance of that which does not change. The external world is constantly changing but only as the physical senses see things.

It may be a revelation but you are not the center of the universe.  The essence of being is one of many expanding universes.  Humans are but a small part. The big picture is constantly changing, and we constantly participate in and contribute to the changes inside ourselves and around us.

We have at least two choices; to resist change or participate in and embrace change. Every change can be resisted. Every change can be facilitated by cooperation and good will. How will you choose to act today to further clarify your own sense of success?

"There are two big forces at work, external and internal. We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain. What really matters is the internal force. How do I respond to those disasters? Over that I have complete control." -Leo F. Buscalgia

Secrets of Happiness

In the Secrets of Happiness, Richard Schoch examines three thousand years of history and concludes that we can deepen understanding of happiness by reading different philosophical and religious ideas and applying them selectively to our lives. He reviews thoughts of the Greeks, Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, Muslims and Stoics, and then, invites you to ask:

a) Do you think you have a right to be happy?

b) What is required for you to feel content?

c) Can you be happy if others are unhappy?

In the end, only you can determine if your own sense of happiness represents something you need to feel complete, whether it represents an illusion or unattainable goal, or a mysterious feeling meant to gain significance through you life experience. You may determine happiness is the symbolic trophy earned through challenges, hardship, burdens and suffering. Perhaps you feel this state of mind can only result from deep and consistent spiritual reflection or honest self-examination. This is your journey. Fulfillment could be in this life or the hereafter. You decide what form it will take, that is, if you decide it should take any form at all.

Start with believing the truth of happiness is accessible and all you really need to be happy is easy to obtain. Focus on learning about yourself, on helping other people to satisfy desires and things necessary for survival, such as obtaining enough food, water, compassion and shelter, to meet basic human needs.  Helping the less fortunate also enables you to help yourself. 

Decide whether your sense of happiness must be connected to lower stress, minimum pain and maximum inner peace, or if another combination makes more sense to you. How you reach out to learn will enable you to plot your course.  The secret to your own happiness lies inside yourself.

Get unhappy, find happiness

Many of the uplifting stories we hear seem to require we get unhappy to find real happiness.  You may know people who swallow pills to change their mood, hire a coach to influence motivation, seek a clutter consultant to downsize belongings, change diet to boost energy and self-esteem, digest the advice of others without really knowing themselves. Every valiant effort and strategy has a time and place.  Yet, how well we know ourselves, and whether we have internalized a sense of entitlement, influences what we choose to learn about the nature of happiness.

Consider that in the 2006 film, The Pursuit of Happyness, actor Will Smith plays the role of Chris Gardener.  He's a smart but struggling salesman, husband and father.  His marriage sadly crumbles due to heavy financial difficulties. Determined to create a better life for himself and his son, he tells his son, "don't ever believe someone who tells you you can't do something."  Gardner is dscouraged when evicted from his home.  He finds shelters and bus stations with his son while he strives to excel in a stock broker's internship.  He's determined to transform his life and he does.

Through life experience, Garder's character demonstrates seeking pleasure in life doesn't mean we do just as we please.  He realizes certain actions will increase his sense of accomplishment and happiness yet, other actions (or lack of initiative) will diminish happiness.  He also shows we can't be certain whether happiness will result from simply learning as we go.  Hoping for the best may seem dangerous or inefficient, but we learn no single right decision exists.