Mistaken objectivity

When it comes to objectivity, you'll get exactly what you expect.  Complete objectivity is a fallacy. Nothing can be observed and also unaffected by the observer. If objectivity is your goal, then subjectivity will be your result. What you see or plan depends on how you perceive.  Even mistaken objectivity can be valuable where you discover different levels of observing yourself.

Goals are our friends. Whether we realize them or not, we may always learn. The more goals we set and pursue, the more opportunities we have to gain insight into ourselves. The faster we gain inner wisdom, the more we discover that everything has purpose, even our perceived mistakes. The more we identify goals, the more we realize that we repeatly come full circle in our results.

How you look at where you are enables you to stand back and learn new and different things about yourself.  Coming full circle means a you can experience repeated learning curves. Stepping outside your traditional judgments and assumptions may lead you to believe you achieve some kind of objectivity.  However, you still ultimately perceive yourself from your own views. 

Consider isolating what you really desire in your business or career, in your personal life, in your level of health and well-being, in terms of spiritual and other pursuits.  Then, identify what you sense stands in your way of achieving these goals.  Recognize your subjective influence means your goals, anxieties, fears all exist in your mind.  They characterize who you are through your moods, attitudes and opinions. You can always learn more about your own feelings and emotions.  They determine how you create, perceive, prioritize, disregard or realize individual goals.

You are what you perceive

Take a risk to see what you cannot see, to hear what you have not heard, to taste what you have never put to your lips, to touch and to feel what you have never felt.  What are the experiences like and what holds you back from exploring them even further than you already have? Who told you that you couldn't? shouldn't? or wouldn't?

Ask yourself why you cling to the ideas that you must fear what you have never done, regret what you have never said, feel guilty about circumstances you cannot change.  What prompts you to make your life more difficult than it is?

Permit yourself to feel all those feelings that may confuse or otherwise trigger sadness, darkness and hardship. Take a risk of letting go of control.  Discover emotions for what they are. What do you sense?  What do they teach you? Consider them all gifts which offer opportunities to learn.

As you take jumps and leaps of faith to explore what you don't understand, you will gain new insight into what you're capable of giving, receiving, creating and encouraging.  Take a risk to remove the limits you have unconsciously self-imposed. Break them down. They'll disintegrate. You may discover that these kinds of steps will re-integrate all that you are, and then some.

Re-create yourself

Each relationship you choose is a means of revealing details about yourself.  Reflect on your values and principles.  Do you choose to spend time with like-minded individuals?  Are your closest companions reinforcing habits you wish to break? Some people choose relationships as an effort to escape challenges or aspects of themselves they don't wish to face.  If you think spending time with certain people helps you hide or escape from what you fear or have trouble giving up, you're in for a different kind of surprise. Perhaps it will even be a rude awakening?

Consider people who repeatedly choose friends and partners who have a negative influence or who enable abuse, addiction, obsession, denial, self-destruction or repressed emotions.  Why do you think troubled people often find themselves in similar situations with other troubled people over and over again?  They may not feel they have the strength or abilitites to face and work through their challenges alone.  Yet, if this sounds like you, you need not re-create the old you.

In essence, these kinds of people seldom admit they feel lonely. They sense no one could understand their past experiences and that no person in their right mind would wish to take that painful journey.  And yet, you do not have to wait for other people to see you as you really are before you learn to recognize it for yourself and choose to make new kinds of choices.  The idea of re-creating yourself allows you to awaken the true self inside who is talented and ready to go.

Take for example that who you sense you are at this moment is actually a reflection of your past.  What you have done up to this point has affected your relationship choices.  If you gave into your own destructive behaviors and chose friends and companions who rebelled or made dangersous decisions, these choices enabled you to continue.  Stand back and reflect on your options. Open your heart and your mind.  If you feel you're in a mess, realize you got yourself into your own mess.  Don't let healthier choices pass by. You can get yourself out of any situation. 

Nothing you have done is beyond repair. Do not judge your past and invite external judgment.  Instead, choose to change your point of view.  Examine your life in new and uplifting ways. As you alter your perception of yourself, you will naturally make new relationship choices. As you grow to believe strongly in what you wish to see, you will learn to recognize that engaging in relationships isn't something anyone has to do.  Yet, we can choose to experience this and grow. 

Perspective shapes perception

A guardian angel can be a symbolic entity or real person who appears concerned for our welfare.  We need not know an angelic individual personally, but what we learn from them can teach us new meaning about affection, and open our minds to what it means to be aware and complete. 

I read a story about a devoted Australian mother with a zest for life who died of breast cancer three months after her twins were born.  Funny thing, during treatments, she actually said the date she chose to die and did as planned, after bringing in the New Year 2005. If she determined she completed what she had been born to complete, she may have shifted consciousness.  Her life experience enabled her husband to learn how we choose to live shapes how we react to what happens to us.  He evolved to view her life and passing with gratitude, not grief and pain. He became utterly peaceful and together, turned to focus on his creative energy and potential.

This woman I never knew reminds me love heals our souls and relationships.  Her life story also reminds me I am never a victim of my circumstances unless I choose to lie to myself about what I control.  My life has taught me I may sense that I'm a loving person.  Yet, the experience itself raises my awareness to new levels of understanding that compels a willingness to sacrifice.  Feelings are the language of my soul which I have opportunities to decipher throughout my life.

Another couple I met evolved from being discouraged and in debt in their twenties to becoming financially free in their thirties.  Listening to their life story, which concerns business success, has taught me we're not always consciously aware of what we want from ourselves or our lives.  As we meet people, we may become aware of what we had previously chosen to ignore about ourselves. 

This couple reminds me what I choose to experience expands my awareness of what is possible and transforms my reality.  I instruct my mind and create on a conscious level what I initially imagine.  Like guardian angels, this couple invites me to discover new insights accessible within myself.

13 Steps to greater success

No matter what your line of work or aspirations,your ability to portray self-confidence and strength of character are key to moving ahead, achieving a deeper sense of purpose and progress. Each of us benefits from new ways of seeing ourselves, our behavior and principles.

In 1947, Frank Bettger wrote a classic book entitled How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling. He explains how during his first two years in sales, he barely scraped by. He had to take additional jobs to support himself. Then, he learned some tips from sucessful people like Andrew Carnegie and skyrocketed to become the top insurance salesman in America.  The stories Bettger shares in his book remind you that 13 steps he borrows and expands from Benjamin Franklin can improve not only how you feel about yourself, but perhaps more importantly, how you come across and also achieve results. Even if you're not a sales professional, Bettger explains how you may apply his timeless principles achieve success in any undertaking.

1. Be Enthusiastic!

Act enthusiastic and you'll become enthusiastic. This is a mindset created by your attitude.Any endeavour or situation may seem to grow undesirable or difficult not because you change your circumstances, but because you permit your circumstances to change you. Take back control!

2. Be Organized

Take time to think and plan your schedule. Where will you go? Who will you meet? What will you say? How long will you have? To be prepared and act effectively (even improvise)'on your feet', or present a new idea to someone you know, you would benefit from organizing your thoughts in advance before you meet. When you respect your time, you'll make better use of other people's time and both of you benefit. You never have a second chance to leave a first impression either.

3. Think like the other person

What do you offer or what could you do to benefit that other person? How can you phrase things in innovative ways to put the person first? Reinforce the desire to learn from him and understand.

4. Ask Questions!

Asking questions is to your advantage. You enable another person feel good about dreams or situations.You may provide an opportunity for someone to reflect on issues that hadn't been considered before. The person may realize you could assist in some personal or professional way. Ask questions to qualify a business prospect, to discover a person's true desires and needs as a friend or confidante. To earn respect, build relations and trust,inquire about the person's priorities, stand back and let him or her talk. Take an interest in discovering their personal interests and motivations.  Show the person how you can empower him or her to reach goals.

5. Seek out the key issue

Identify key issues that impact someone's decision-making. As you inquire, learn to seek to learn about the person's primary concerns. Demonstrate how you relate, empathize and or could help. In which ways would this person become more flexible? How might you be able to assist?

6. Listen

Learn to open your ears and read behavior to interpret and intuit feelings of others. Experience offers you opportunities to become a more effective listener.  Societies may teach us how to hear, but rarely teach listening. Rather than permit ideas to go in one ear and out the other, tap into all your senses and retain details. Learn to read gestures and voice tones to understand more comprehensive ideas or a person's underlying feelings about an issue.

7. Deserve Confidence

If you say you're good at what you do, draw from the coinciding reputation. If you feel you're competent, refer to testamonials. It's useful to inquire what people have heard about you before you introduce compliments or advantages to what you offer. It's wise to always agree with objections, expand on the proper context and ask the person to whom you're speaking what he or she would've done in your circumstances. Take responsibility. Be accountable and take steps to build on your existing reputation by empowering other people to comment more than you. As you take opportunities to learn, you will earn and reinforce confidence.

8. Know Your area

Regardless of what you think you know, you can always learn. Remain humble. What do you read or investigate? How do you become involved in life and learning? How do you learn about yourself from other people? How do they learn from you? Ask other people how they might advise you.

9. Appreciation & Praise

We impact how things happen,shape quality and reputation. Compliment your competitors and agree with people who compliment the competitors. You can always take time to turn a situation around with a question. Ask people what they see as desireable advantages. Empower them to tell you what they want or hope. Respond in ways that show your best side and benefit others.

10. Smile & Laugh

A smile is powerful.  What you say is strenghtened by a sincere smile. This gesture, without comment, captures attention and invites positive feelings. Smiling as you speak doubles your success. When have you laughed? Children laugh on average 100x more than adults per day. Remind yourself that being serious is not as good for your health and learning to be light-hearted.

11. Remember Names & Faces

Many "formulas" exist to help you recall details about people. Mental rhyming, mneumonics can be helpful. Why not explore other strategies, including writing details down? Alan Pease wrote a great book called "Easy Peasy" which covers strategies that help jog and reinforce your memory.

12. Relationships

Devote time and attention to your relationships, and nurture new ones. One of your best sources for new business, information and resources is your current network.You can always benefit in new ways from people you know. They can also benefit from you. What are you doing about it?

13.Action

If you desire to accomplish anything, talking about it isn't enough. You must take steps to plan, talk about it, and actually implement a process to make it happen. As you evolve to become more results-oriented, you realize the importance of getting up and performing tasks to earn results. Nothing comes from nothing.