Recognize more than one kind of ego

I met an equestrian who believes every human being is, by nature, selfish.   She believes humans are motivated by what makes them feel good, or what they sense is good, even if they are consciously unaware of intentions.  Are you convinced all selfishness is the same?

Let's say a person can experience wise selfishness, free of narrow-mindedness.  A person can also shape an acceptable form of selfishness that is not complete altruism.  Is your selfishness informed or more irrational? Do you view loving yourself and others as bad?

If you believe two kinds of ego exist, then you may also believe one is preferable.  One kind of ego relates to a higher idea of yourself, as in arrogance, destructive selfishness, vanity or, the illusion of superiority.  Magnified self-interest invites problems. 

Another kind of ego is a sense of self you create to boost your esteem, to persuade yourself you have courage and the ability to realize dreams.  You might view this is a positive side to ego, the kind that teaches you self-confidence and taking responsibility.

To assume that all selfishness is the same would be to overlook different levels of awareness.  If you lose a sense of ego entirely, then you would feel discouraged, you would reject rather than move toward unconditional love and self-acceptance.

Some people would even say the motive to survive can be viewed as selfish.  Desires can be perceived as positive or negative.  When you desire to acquire or experience something, you decide what is justified, what is positive or negative.  Excessive selfishness leads to uncontrolled indulgences and perversions that do not serve you. 

3 ways to relate to others

Whenever you meet someone, you have been conditioned to consider them friends, enemies or, strangers.  Further, you often react with desire, aversion or indifference. 

So long as these feelings exist and become predominant, love, altruism and kindness are relegated to another part of mind.  You categorize people without thinking.  You invite people into your life fully, tentatively or, you reject them out of fear.  You do not accept.

As you explore the nature of your mind, you begin to realize you cultivate thoughts about people that do not serve you.  What can you gain from harmful thinking? This is an invitation to tame or discipline your thoughts, to envision what it would feel like to be them.  If you choose to reframe how you relate to others, you dissolve your confusion.

Human beings dream of a more peaceful existence.  This requires a willingness to relate to others, to view them in relation to self.  As you choose to learn from people, you grow to recognize the root of your suffering is ignorance and what you were not ready to see or accept about your relationships to others.  It is never to late to open your mind.  

7 Ideas to make the most of where you are

People regularly ponder where they would like to be and what they would prefer to be doing. This is a way you distract your mind and focus from the intrinsic value of ‘the now.’ In order to feel you arrive anywhere, you take action in the moment and use what you learn to get you there.

Ask yourself how often people reorient your attention to what you will be doing in the future. How often do you think about the weekend? When work will be over? When that promotion will come? Reflect on what motivates you to awaken and focus on the present. What could you do differently? Consider these 7 ideas to reframe thoughts and make the most of where you are;

1) Accept Science cannot explain everything. A distinction exists between what had not been discovered or verified, or explained by Science and what has been scientifically-proven to be non-existent. Opinions have emotional motives. Scepticism reflects fear. Familiar human senses discern aspects of the physical world, but you cannot assert nothing exists beyond your current awareness. For example, the metaphysical is not disproven by physical means.

2) Realize consciousness is developing. Human beings have detected this changing awareness inside for eons, but remain uncertain how it works and the actual extent of its influence. Awareness has no physical form or colour, is not measurable or palpable by obvious means. And yet, you expand it through experience and evolve to discern in ways that defy words.

3) Work backwards from your goal. Each time you make a decision, you are faced with infinitely more choices that could take you further from where you desire to be. Some people feel overwhelmed at the thought. One way to keep focused is to mentally work backwards from your goal. Narrow the leeway you give yourself to meander.

4) Talk to people. You may be amazed to discover what you learn from whom you meet in passing or from people you see regularly but rarely interrogate. To be drawn to anyone is a case of the law of attraction in motion. You share a common bond, experience or wish. This invisible tie reveals opportunities to learn from each other. Where and when is up to you.

5) Listen closer to your words. What you say tells you a lot about your thoughts and feelings. To use negation is to reinforce a lack of faith or belief in yourself. Anytime you say, “can’t,” you actually mean “won’t.” To remain consciously unaware of words you use or context prevents you from savouring where you are.

6) Shift your thoughts to love. When you generate anger or frustration, you reinforce belief in fear and not love. You redirect energy away from feelings that strengthen or empower you.

7) Attune to your physical body. Physiology reveals whether you are grounded in the present or demonstrate impatience to get elsewhere. Your fight or flight response kicks in when your body is not aligned with your mind and spirit. Your body emits signals to tell you when you are hungry, tired, balanced, at peace or not. Learning to read your body teaches you a lot.

Tom the body piecer & 3 tips to be true to yourself

Traveling on a big city train, I recently struck up conversation with a man who offered some profound insight. I learned this man was a fashion designer turned professional body piecer. He spoke with me during an hour commute into a Toronto suburb.  Based on his life experience, here are three tips he believes would help you be more true to yourself;

1) View yourself as knowledgable in your field. People who perceive themselves as 'experts' are often the kind of people who evolve to become close-minded. To remain open to learning is to admit you never know it all.  Yet, to believe you know little or nothing is a lie to yourself. You have power to boost your esteem without being arrogant.

2) Share what you know. Every experience you have can help other people learn.  In group settings, people learn skills faster and adapt more effectively.  When people have the attitude 'knowledge is power,' and they choose to keep secrets, this does not help others.  In fact, it leads to fear, deception and less productive situations.  Many people undervalue their role as a teacher and the good they can do wherever they already are.

3) Rise above judgement.  People often decide whether they will talk to others based on appearances, assumptions about a job, socio-economic status, life choices or fear.   As you evolve to permit yourself to shatter your own illusions, you move beyond stereotypes and discover what being human is all about.  You have opportunities to learn from everyone about yourself.  Every situation or encounter is a gift.  You invite what you need.

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius

What would cause you to trust yourself more?

Your insticts are supposed to be dependable. Your eyes open each morning.  You get up.  Your taste buds and other senses generate constant information. Nonetheless, you often hestitate to listen.  You disregard signs. What would cause you to trust yourself more?

Think back to that relationship you entered into that did not work out as you had hoped. What was that uneasy vibe you felt way back at the beginning? For some reason, you chose to overlook that. It was not important, right?

Reflect again on that instinct you had to run around the corner when your instinct told you the bus was early.  How did it feel to discover that you were right?

Remember the time when you were choosing peers as members for your sports team in gym class.  Part of you felt compelled to choose friends or popular kids. Another part of you urged you to choose for ability.  Your team revealed how you felt about appearances.

Recall the time you were on the phone and your instinct caused you to run to the kitchen.  Your mind was sending you vibes about the pot of boiling water you had left on and forgotten. This was not a memory lapse. It was a gradual building of trust inside you.

What about the time you were scanning the community bulletin board and came across that part-time job that led you to hold the responsibilities you now hold? Was it coincidence you were compelled to phone the number? At the time, you thought you had no idea what you were geting into. Seems part of you did.

None of your instincts are ever misplaced. Yet, you disregard far more than you acknowledge. Each instance you choose to trust your feelings, you gain new insight into yourself.  You are building confidence and raising awareness in ways that serve you.