Recognize more than one kind of ego

I met an equestrian who believes every human being is, by nature, selfish.   She believes humans are motivated by what makes them feel good, or what they sense is good, even if they are consciously unaware of intentions.  Are you convinced all selfishness is the same?

Let's say a person can experience wise selfishness, free of narrow-mindedness.  A person can also shape an acceptable form of selfishness that is not complete altruism.  Is your selfishness informed or more irrational? Do you view loving yourself and others as bad?

If you believe two kinds of ego exist, then you may also believe one is preferable.  One kind of ego relates to a higher idea of yourself, as in arrogance, destructive selfishness, vanity or, the illusion of superiority.  Magnified self-interest invites problems. 

Another kind of ego is a sense of self you create to boost your esteem, to persuade yourself you have courage and the ability to realize dreams.  You might view this is a positive side to ego, the kind that teaches you self-confidence and taking responsibility.

To assume that all selfishness is the same would be to overlook different levels of awareness.  If you lose a sense of ego entirely, then you would feel discouraged, you would reject rather than move toward unconditional love and self-acceptance.

Some people would even say the motive to survive can be viewed as selfish.  Desires can be perceived as positive or negative.  When you desire to acquire or experience something, you decide what is justified, what is positive or negative.  Excessive selfishness leads to uncontrolled indulgences and perversions that do not serve you. 

Comments

[Melinda]

Liara,

I do believe there are very different kinds of selfishness--some that is positive and some that is negative. When we are too wrapped up in ourselves and our own problems, it makes a very small package. That kind of selfishness has a negative influence--both on us and on those around us.

However, sometimes we need to selfishly take time for ourselves--because we will be able to help more people if we can first concentrate on getting ourselves healthy and whole. I know that this is true in my case.

I spent quite a few years, working selfishly on myself. I went through therapy, I attended school, I did a lot of soul searching--but that time spent on me allowed me to be able to become whole and thus, be of more help to those who need my guidance.

Take care--and again, what a lovely thought today.

Melinda

[Liara Covert]

Melinda, life experience enables human beings to develop a keen sense of discrimination. Chogyam Trungpa was one of the first teachers to bring Buddhism to the West. His view is that "Ego is able to convert everything to its own use." By ego, he implies a part of you that views itself as separate from everything, or that imagines struggle and fear. Some people always view ego as bad. Yet, it is also possible to view ego as part of you which desires to be unchanging. Still other people believe ego strives to deny what it is and all that you are. In this way, it is more than simply inappropriate or harmful impulses. Developing a heathy ego enables humans to transcend destructive beliefs and illusions.