10 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Life

Many people say they would like to change their lives or make positive changes but seem to encounter obstacles, complain, feel restless or postpone taking decisive action.  Now is the moment to be more pro-active.  Consider 10 ways to take greater responsibility for your life:

1. Prioritize Yourself

To take more control of life, deep down, we must feel worthy, deserving of good things, better decisions. Holding self-limiting beliefs, perpetuating negative self-talk ("I can't or won't...")  causes us to avoid responsibility.  Thus, we may feel undeserving of better. Thing is, we can only love and support others if we love and support self first, practice self-love and self-care.

2. Stop Blaming the External

Although common practice, blaming others for our conditions is a form of self-sabotage, an unconscious attempt to escape from growing up (maturing as a soul). Society teaches us to and judge others rather than address our own actions. When we are hyper-focused on other people’s behaviours, we often overlook signs and signals we give ourselves and available big life lessons.

3. Develop Self-Awareness

To take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, we must grow self-aware. Self-reflection allows us to deepen awareness.  To grow mindful of feelings, thoughts as they arise, helps us understand our actions,  patterns and reasons behind the things we do.

4. Be Accountable

Being responsible entails being accountable to yourself.  Some people love external praise and their own positive feelings and yet find it hard to realize they are the source of all their behaviour, perception, feelings, or results. Pride blocks growth.  To be accountable is to accept and understand our role in each situation.  How we are treated depends on how we treat ourselves. The key is self-honesty, not avoiding transparency. Of course, self-pity and guilt are not helpful.

5. Get to Know Yourself

Turns out, we are conditioned to adopt other people’s beliefs about us.  Beyond external conditioning, we all have our own sense of success and happiness.  Though family and peers may have good intentions, we cannot act to appease others and live in integrity.  If parents may want their child to look a certain way, choose a specific training, career, or partner. We would not blindly listen if we took steps to get to know self, our version of happiness and success. This requires self-honesty.  We may even need to separate from people who constantly impose their views.  This can create internal conflict, complicating our decision-making.

6. Love Yourself

Taking responsibility can be difficult until we love ourselves enough to get that every moment, we control our thoughts, feelings and life direction. Realizing this changes things.  When we judge ourselves harshly, we throw off our inner balance. We feel ungrounded, unsupported, unsustainable, and very discouraged. Self-love guides us to the wisdom within the self. A mere shift in perspective is a potent action in the name of love.

7. Eliminate Excuses

To make excuses is not responsible, like denying you are the captain of your ship. An irresponsible person may say they want to eat healthier but say they don’t have time. However, to be responsible, accountable, and honest, is to prioritize creating time. We can find many reasons not to make life changes.  Yet, this is giving our power away. We all have the same 24 hours per day. We are all responsible for how we choose to use it.

8. Remove Toxic People

Toxic people enable us to continue unhealthy habits and toxic behaviour. People who genuinely care for us and love us will hold you accountable.  They want to see us achieve our dreams. Other individuals want to keep us  co-dependent.  To take responsibility for life means taking responsibility for our entourage, and relationships. People who frequently complain, self-loathe, self-deprecate, and speak down on your progress do not benefit our growth.  Creating distance brings us inner strength. Nourish healthy and supportive interaction. Also, seek to establish emotional independence to make better decisions from an objective stance and attract authentic people into our life experience.

9. Eradicate Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can arise from childhood trauma inflicted by abuse or bullying. These negative, self-limiting beliefs we have of ourselves usually originate from the projections and judgments other people throw at us. When we are younger, we tend to internalize these words, and they become ingrained. It takes time to un-condition such negative ideas about Self. However, it’s possible by doing activities aimed at self-love and self-care. We come into this world with a very clean slate.  As we grow, we begin to take on our personality. Much of this has to do with the environments. However, we can take responsibility for our lives and reclaim our full potential.

10.  Take Quantum Leaps outside Comfort Zones

The only way to truly take full and complete responsibility for our lives is to rediscover what it is to experience examples of fearlessness. This may begin in a playground swing,  allowing ourselves to fear the wind in our hair as we pump the swing higher.  As we gain courage and confidence, we increasingly make choices to do what we have not done before, confront our fears and see where assertiveness and adventurousness take us.  This may guide us to new job, new relationships, new entourage, new pastimes and ways to spend out time.  Remind yourself the five people you spend the most time with are the five people you are becoming.

25 Ways to Turn Ordinary into Extraordinary

Everyone goes through life with choices to be ordinary and remain that way or to activate the extraordinary within themselves (and others). Consider 25 ways to Turn your version of ordinary into extraordainary:

1. Clarify Vision -

People who identify a vision are more likely to realize this as a purpose.  To know what you want allows moulding the dream. Vague desires and beliefs lead to uncertain outcomes. It is this sense of direction that gives them the staying power, and collaborate with the universe to allow magic to happen.

2. Develop Expertise -

Whatever the vision, be driven to research and know the field to the best of your ability. Be the best you can be. There is no job too small to strive for excellence. There is innate understanding self-mastery is part of evolution and money is a by-product of the value they offer.

3. Focus -

People who know how to focus realize that they cannot do everything. They focus on what enables them to feel most alive and inspired in their chosen direction. 

4. Positive Attitude and Perseverance -

Extraordinary people have a broad perspective.  They take action and have confidence being the bext they can be is inevitable. They know action is required before feedback is aquired and changes can be made. This attitude allows them to persevere and be resilient when things do not follow a linear path.

5. Be Flexible -

Success is not about being closed- or single-minded. Sometimes changing course makes sense in changing environment. Turns iut, success is a mindset not a destination. It arises as a feeling of self-acceptance from engaging in what we feel passionate about. This feeling may arise after changing plans or directions. Successful people know that if their reasons for doing what they are doing changes, then changing behaviour is natural.

6. Master Time -

Making the most of time we give ourselves is the way to make the most of life.  Extraordinary people value their time and see the direct connection between how they spend time, respect schedules and expsnd energy. 

7. Communicate well -

People who can communicate effectively excel in life. Speaking the same language does not necessarily mean people understand or truly listen to each other. What makes them effective is that they are clear about and sensitive to the outcome they want to get from their communication and are flexible in their method of communication to achieve their outcome. They know how to build rapport. 

8. Nurture Courage -

We've all heard the phrase "No pain, no gain."  Not many actually go that extra mile. Those who do make life worth living. Successful people have the courage to put their vision into practice and courage to continue. They are willing to not only take risks to fail and face fears. They are not afraid to fall if it means moving forward.

9. Be Generous -

Extraordinary people are generous givers. They know and are convinced of the "secret" that the more you give, the more you receive as long as you are genuine about your gifts. They operate on the principle embodied by Zig Ziglar's quote, "You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want."

10. Build Self-Esteem -

Extraordinary people believe they deserve their success and know anything is possible. They understand that a mistake is something that they do and not who they are.  They realize that self-esteem is a state of mind and choosing to uplift and encourage others uplifts and energizes themselves. 

11. Be Proactive -

We all know of people who have potential or talk a big game but accomplishes nothing. Those who spend all their time thinking about doing something will never succeed. People who ignite the extraordinary in themselves are doers and not talkers. They don't wait for conditions to be perfect before they take action. They take the plunge, observe the feedback and then modify their further actions.

12. Nourish Confidence -

Confidence guides extraordinary people take action. Like the chicken and the egg, confidence helps you achieve your goals which in turn makes you more confident. A great way to be confident is remembering your past successes and overcoming your fear of failure.

13. Read -

Regular reading inspires extraordinary people.  Sometimes they read the stories of others they admire to awaken these qualities in themselves.   Accessing more books makes a big difference in our own expansion, understanding and open-mindedness. Certain books will help you become a true expert in your field, others nourish your passion or challenge conditioned or limiting beliefs.

14. Trust Intuition -

Trusting the "gut" brings out extraordinary aspects of ourselves.  They may not be easily explained rationally. People who feel successful learn to harness the power of their subconscious mind.  They send it "orders" from the conscious mind. This involves mentally visualizing a desired outcome and then being present to take in the data and information that will become the ingredients for the subconscious to deliver "orders" that were sent. 

15. Be Curious -

Two people are running a race and they come up to an immense wall blocking their path. One person sees the wall and starts getting down on himself for wasting his time and decides to quit the race before he wastes even more time. The other person immediately thinks about what the possibilities are for getting over the wall. Will he/she climb it, break through it, dig under it, etc? No matter which option he/she chooses, he/she immediately acts on their decision and collects feedback. Extraordinary people adopt an attitude of curiosity and they truly feel that they can always learn. They adopt great qualities of others.

16. Accept yourself fully -

Polonius had it right when he said: "To thine own self be true". People who awaken to the extraordinary within don't pretend to be something they are not. This allows them to express their creativity freely and not worry about hiding who they really are. The best way to accept yourself is to genuinely appreciate and accept others. If you tend to judge others, you do not accept yourself either. Self-rejection prevents being who we are.

17. Create Big Dreams -

Bioographies and autobiogrpahies of extraordinary people reveal they are motivated by their visions. This is one of the reasons they blossom. They are not afraid to dream big. If you want to know whether someone is extraordinary, ask them about their dreams. Ask yourself. The more clarity you add, the more you can feel what it is to realize this vision now in this present moment, the easier it is for dreams to manifest.

18. Be Well-Rounded and Balanced -

Extraordinary people are well-rounded. They live healthy lives, become financially independent, nurture meaningful relationships, develop self-mastery and accomplish their professional goals. They are willing to surrender and change plans if it feels right. They know that sacrificing one key area to achieve another will not help them maximize their potential. 

19. Create a Broad Network -

Successful people understand the importance of relationships and how it is one of the most important factors in achieving your goals. They also realize helping others with no expectation of reward is part of creating a closeknit network. Those who constantly take without giving usually do very poorly on building a solid network.

20. Be Enthusiastic -

A sure sign of someone extraordinary is their enthusiasm or zest for life. They wake up in the morning excited about their day because they know it is going to bring them one step closer to achieving their dream. Extraordinary people tend to be leaders and go-getters because others are attracted to their enthusiasm and become followers hoping to experience the same excitement and energy.

21. Admit Mistakes -

Taking personal responsibility and reclaiming inner power only happens as we admit our mistakes. When something goes wrong and you blame other people or make excuses, you give your power away unnecessarily. Great people admit when they are wrong so they can focus on the solution.

22. Feel Abundant -

Extraordinary people do not view finite resources where achieving happiness and success for yourself means denying someone else happiness and success. They believe that there is enough to go around and it is more about creating value. This is the quality that allows them to be happy for other people's successes. This mindset also encourages the empowerment of others.

23. Live in Integrity -

Heroes are people who triumph. Think of all the heroes you know (in movies, books, and real-life). Don't they all act with honesty and integrity? Aren't they usually generous with others and frugal with themselves? Doesn't everyone look up to them? Being a hero that triumphs in life is no different. People who feel successful are in control. They know they ALWAYS have a choice. They don't feel victimized by their genetics, history and/or circumstances and are aware how they feel now determines where to next. They write the script to their lives.

24. Surround yourself with people who stretch you-

We learn much about others by their company (entourage).  Watching people you know and note who they spend the most time with. Some say a person's salary is usually the average of the five people they hang out with the most.  Some say we are becoming the qualities of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.  Tune in. Adopt their beliefs and habits. Extraordinary people are self-reliant. They don't need permission to do what they want and they don't give other people permission to slow them down.

25. Be an attentive Listener -

People who listen effectively are able to hear and understand the needs of others and focus energy on meeting those needs. The fastest way to be a good conversationalist is to listen well and ask relevant questions.  Extraordinary people are patient and attentive. They get a handle on their emoations, take interest in making the unconscious conscious so they can heal.  They have learned to control their emotions and consciously put themselves in a resourceful state. They understand that they can't change other people or what's happening to them but they can change how they respond to the external.  This is about emotional intelligence.

6 Ways to appreciate change

Many people ground themselves in what is familiar and assume it is permanent.  You may resist change and seem to have difficulties when you encounter what seems to be perpetual change. Notice what stays the same is impermanence.  Be aware adjusting to this changes your life.  Consider these six ways to appreciate change that can be explored further, at your leisure:

1) Ground yourself in what feels good. Rather than focus on what bothers you, or on what you do not think is working, focus instead on things that feel positive and uplifting.  

2) See it as a turning point.  Notice every change is a milestone and a wake-up call.  Pay attention to the learning curve and opportunities to unlearn what you are ready to let go.  

3) Look to Nature.  Recognize that something has to disintegrate or fall apart before something new can emerge or be built in its place. Look to nature for examples of how plants, flowers and trees grow and pass away to make room for the up and coming.  Appreciate where you are.  See value in every stage.

4) Be alert to conditioning. Know joy is something you can choose to experience every moment, every day, in every experience just as negativity is a choice.  

5) Be empowered to know you create every change unfolding in your life. You can gain insight into yourself by recognizing higher consciousness always puts you in situations you can handle.

6) Get proactive.  Know you are ready to make the changes you wish to see in your life.  Whether its  relationship beginnings, transitions or endings, a career or geographical move, parenthood, or other new chapters of life, your focus and attitude help you weather storms.