10 Tips to heal after loss of a loved one

Its common to find it hard to accept the perceived death of a loved one. We are deeply conditioned to believe in loss and to feel this in the physical body, and reinforce our resistance as suffering in the mind. There is no right or wrong way to respond. There is only a specturm of experience to develop or draw from. Consider 10 tips to heal after loss of a loved one:

1) Meditation and Mindfulness: 

A regular meditation practice helps to quiet the "mind chatter" and observe the true nature of the mind and the ego-centered identity. Mindfulness, or bringing present-moment awareness into daily activities, naturally follows and helps in seeing reality as it is, without the obscuring layer of conceptual thought and beliefs.

2) Self-Inquiry: 

Directly investigate the belief in a separate self by examining it against actual sensory experience. For example, try to find the exact physical location of the "self" in your body. By doing this repeatedly, you may realize the self has no physical location, revealing its conceptual, rather than factual, nature.

3) Observing Thoughts Without Judgment: 

The illusion of separation is reinforced by identifying with our thoughts, emotions, and sensations. By observing these internal experiences without attachment or judgment, you create space to recognize that you are the awareness of them, not the thoughts themselves.

4) Connecting with Others:

Engage in practices that foster a sense of shared humanity. Simple exercises like prolonged, silent eye contact with another person can help break down barriers and create a profound sense of connection and universal love. This helps to dismantle illusion of separation so you realize love knows no true bounds except in the mind.

5)  Reframe Language: 

Instead of using labeling statements like "I am sad," try rephrasing them as "sadness is arising" or "tiredness is present". This subtle shift in language helps decouple your core identity from fleeting emotions and sensations.

6) Embrace Vulnerability: 

Allow yourself to be "permeable" by letting things in and acknowledging your desire for connection. Being vulnerable helps join your "inside and outside worlds," moving away from the fear that fuels separation.

7) Challenge Your Beliefs: 

Actively question and re-evaluate your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the world. Ask yourself if these thoughts are producing the results you want in life and if they are truly fact-based or simply habitual patterns.

8) Focus on Contentment Over Happiness: 

Strive for a baseline of contentment (Santosha in Sanskrit) rather than chasing fleeting happiness. Contentment fosters inner peace and stability, making you less susceptible to the ups and downs that reinforce the ego's narrative.

9) Spend Time in Nature: 

Connecting with the natural world can help remind you of the interconnected, fluid, and dynamic way everything in nature works together. This experience serves as a powerful counterbalance to the individualistic thinking prevalent in modern culture.

10) Seek Non-Dual Teachings: 

Listening to various non-dual teachers can be helpful to ground you, but nothing replaces your own direct investigation and personal experience.