Dream job gone sour?

Each of us has a dream job, you know, the vision of where you do what you enjoy, feel challenged, get paid well, and get along with all your colleagues, staff and superiors.  In a way, this may sound like an ideal that you've never experienced.  Yet, for other people, its something that seems to materialize and then, slips through their fingers.  If you had a job you liked, and then it went sour, its useful to understand why so the same thing doesn't happen again. 

1) Have you outgrown your circumstances?  You may be learning and growing faster than your peers.  When you get to where you no longer feel challenged or stimulated by your work, then what used to appear your dream job can turn into an undesireable way to spend your time.  Remind yourself that how you perceive yourself and your life begins with you.  If you determine you're no longer happy where you are, only you can make the decision to do things differently ofr find a place where you'll be happier.

2) Is there a personality clash?  A workplace can be agreeable or disagreeable based on your co-workers.  When you get along well, things can seem to go great.  Yet, politics may enter the picture.  If so, feeling like you have to look constantly over your shoulder or, wondering who may be saying what behind your back isn't pleasant. Tolerance may only go so far. What alternate courses of action have you considered?

3) Have you forgotten what drew you?  People choose jobs because of different reasons.  Something about a dream job usually motivates you at the core.  Have you forgotten why you chose what you do? When might you have become disconnected from your passions.  To rekindle the reasons for your choices may be well within your grasp.  Reach inside and re-energize.  Consider what you would need to do to get the good feelings back.

Break out of the mould

Do you dream of breaking out of a mould? Perhaps no person in your family went to college, or ever earned much money.  You may not think any of your family or current friends amounted to much.  This doesn't mean your life must be like that.  You can be the person who changes the trend and raises the bar.  What makes you think you can't break the mould and create a different kind of life for yourself?  

You may have been surrounded by negative people who set examples and standards for you.  Just because you're familiar with how to be negative and critical, and you know people who are frequently gloomy and complaining, you're not obliged to adopt and copy these behaviors.  Why not take steps to change all that and redefine your vision for success?

What about your workplace? You may have been conditioned to follow the lowest common denominator. Peers may douse your enthusiasm and discourage your initiative.  Have you felt like a victim of 'tall poppy syndrome?' Are people trying to convince you that you should be less than you are? If you don't feel you fit in, you may not in the most suitable environment.

The odds may be against you, but you're not limited by environment, by your family, by your pocketbook or by your history.  Whether you step out of a mould is based on your choice.   Your understanding of your abilities and your potential are wrapped up in your idea of success. 

The 'make-other-people-happy' gene

You may not consider having a change of heart controversial, but what about people around you?  What if you're the type of person who doesn't like to disappoint others? 

Maybe, from the time you were a child, you considered yourself a 'good kid.'  You always felt you did the right thing.  You felt the love and respect of your parents and or at least a close circle of friends, teachers and mentors.  Somewhere along the way, you developed the desire to please and this became synonymous with your own sense of happiness.  You couldn't tell the difference.

Suddenly, you're having seemingly radical thoughts.  Your intuition is suggesting you change course.  You sense something doesn't fit. You envision separating from what you know or have known.  People are not looking at you kindly. Will you leave them in a bind and think of yourself? Intead of inner peace, do you experience inner turmoil?  What makes the most sense when your desires are in diametric opposition?

The frog on the horizon

You may feel comfortable where you are doing what you're doing. And yet, you may not realize the great opportunities that pass you by.

Consider the story of the frog who was born at the bottom of the well in a remote town. This was the world he knew. He was initially content to splash around in the water he had always known. After all, his family was there and he was having fun. He didn't mind so much the size of the little round well. He felt as though he had everything he needed. So why move or change?

But the day came when this little frog decided to look upward instead of simply straight ahead as he always had. He caught a glimpse of light that sparked his curiosity. He wondered what was up there. He felt the impulse to climb up the slippery wall of the well. Admittedly, it was tricky. The uneven bricks in were covered in wet moss. It would've been much easier for the frog to remain where he had been. He looked back yet, decided to keep going forward.

When he finally reached the opening at the top, he cautiously peered over the edge. What he discovered was astonishing. He caught a glimpse of a glassy pond. This body of water was much bigger than the water in the well. He hopped in that direction and stumbled upon soft lily pads. Never felt anything like that before! Marveled as he was by what he saw and touched, he decided to venture out a bit further. Much to his surprise, he discovered a lake. After swimming in the lake, he sensed he might go further still. When he did, he came across water as far as he could see. A wise turtle explained that the frog had arrived at the ocean. It was beyond belief.  He decided he would swim until he reached the horizon. After a while, he got on the back of the turtle, and they continued swimming.

The story of the frog reminds us how we can limit our own thinking. It's one thing to be content with what we have where we are, but its another thing altogether to shy away from challenge or change because you prefer to stagnate or fear uncertainty. The only ways to evolve and grow is to take risks to do what you haven't tried before. Being adventurous doesn't necessarily mean you're restless or seek to avoid discomfort where you are. The idea of reaching out to discover your destiny is a means build self-confidence.   Empower yourself and you'll create the life you want.

Ugly & grateful

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.

To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long age been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch.

Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, and even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!" All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If ever someone picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor’s huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end. Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front.

As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear. Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring.

Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion. At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful.

He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for. Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.

~Anonymous (Author Unknown)