5 Tips to manage awkward moments
Monday, January 26, 2009 at 3:25PM Everyone you interact with will not always agree with your views. In fact, some people may seem like they only know how to disagree, criticize or misunderstand your point. This can lead to awkward moments. You may not know what to say.
You may be in a car accident and be blamed for what you feel was not your fault. You may waiting for the bus and find another person blames you for missing it when that person did not choose to check the schedule. You may attempt to convey an experience that someone else chooses not to accept or understand. The negative vibes or silence speak volumes.
You can be well-meaning in your gestures and still be treated in ways you do not feel you deserve. How do you deal with situations that you almost wish were dreams?
1) Be grateful. Step back to realize how this situation offers you priceless wisdom. This is an opportunity to realize the world does not revolve around you. This is a situation meant to show you everyone will not think and act like you. The reactions of others teach you more about what you are not. In turn, you are invited to learn more about what you are.
2) Learn tolerance. You are not expected to agree with everyone or be understood by everyone all the time or even some of the time. Each person views the world though their own experience, expectations and assumptions. This can lead to your view of disagreement or misunderstanding. You are given the gift of options. You have choices to live and let live.
3) Expand your perspective. However you believe you are being treated, you are missing something. You are not seeing how the other person does. Your judgement is based on a limited view. Relish a chance to expand your perspective. Imagine yourself in their shoes and imagine why they might feel as they do. Learn power in opening to possibilities.
4) Love people as they are. You embrace life as you learn to love and appreciate people for who they are. Insodoing, you discover new reasons to love and accept yourself more fully. Part of this process offers insight into forgiveness. As you forgive a person for what he is not, for things he did not do or say, for all that he is, you evolve to value your mistakes and imperfections. You expand and grow in love.
5) Decide to be the bigger person. You always have choices about how to expend your energy. Where it makes sense, you may determine a battle is warranted. You can exert effort to convince the other person of your position or point of view. Yet, stepping back may help you realize it makes more sense to let it go. Even silence has timeless, intrinsic value.
Reader Comments (6)
I had an awkward moment while shopping one day. I was buying, of all things, toilet paper. There was a huge lineup of people waiting for the post office. The line happened to run right by the shelves that I needed to get at. The energy was of frustration and impatience. People were not thrilled to be waiting in this line.
And I wasn't thrilled at having to peek at the toilet paper in between people in the line. They had to keep moving forward and backward to accommodate me. I started to feel as frustrated as they.
Then... I stated the obvious to a woman. "Boy this is awkward," I said. "Hey look everyone, I'm buying toilet paper." It got a few laughs and the mood actually lightened. So sometimes, even stating the obvious can diffuse a "situation".
I never "fight back" immediately when facing "awkward" moments. I used to but not any more. I realized that best defense is not spending my precious energy on useless defense rather step back and ignore it.
I find that our reaction to people is a direct result of how we feel about ourselves. If we feel ungrateful or intolerant about others, then it means that is how we feel about ourselves. Everyday is an opportunity to improve ourselves and our ability to perceive.
These are wonderful ways to manage these awkward moments we all face from time to time. I really like the idea of being grateful - grateful in all we can learn from really seeing other perspectives, other thought processes, other views.
Alik, your words are welcomed. Each person goes through life experience that leads to different kinds of new awareness. You realize reacting to some people with energy is no longer necessary. Simply listening and vibrating on an uplifting frequency changes everything.
Susan, thanks for sharing the book recommendation. As you point out, people can choose to expand on their beliefs, even when the going gets tough and awkward. In fact, this may be the opportune time for positive change!
Alexys, you make a point that many people overlook. Sometimes people do actively provoke situations yet they are unaware of it. Negative feelings we harbour inside, disregard or overlook, attract situations that can evoke discomfort. Learning to be present allows you to detach from your reasons for feeling awkward. This is a glimpse of an awakening process. It opens people up to their truth. To feel ready to face and accept it is something else.
Lance, as people evolve, they can shift mindset and perspective to eventually transcend awkward moments altogether. As part of the process of reaching this state of mindfulness, lots can still be learned and shared.