What do you do if someone hates you?
Whether its in your workplace or some other area of your life, it may seem disconcerting if you have the impression someone hates you. This negative vibe may evoke a very strong feeling. You might ask what you did wrong? What can you do about this anyway?
First of all, hate is an offshoot of fear and vulnerability. What you perceive in others reveals deeper feelings in need of healing. Each experience you have is meant to assist you to transform into more profound awareness. Hate and fear are the opposites of love.
If you hate someone, then this enables that person to exert power over you. This is an invitation to push your figurative and emotional buttons. Life is all about learning to detach from such manipulation. Life always evolves differently than you expect it to be.
Some people think hate is an illusion, that it doesn't really exist. People imagine different forms of rejection and disapproval as a mirror or reflection of insecurity. To think positively helps to dissolve such images. Shatter myths you create out of fear. You did nothing wrong. Everything is realtive. Just change your attitude. Discipline your mind.
Reader Comments (21)
This is my favorite part of your post. I has pertinent meaning to me right now as I work through releasing an old friendship/relationship that soured long ago.
Thank you for your insight, Liara.
1. When I am feeling it from someone I know (or don’t know), which rarely rarely happens, I ask myself, "Have I done anything that might have upset this person...even though that still does not make me responsible for their hate. Is there anything REAL that I need to take responsibility for here (for me)? Do I need to apologize for anything? And remove that aspect from the picture?"
2. Then I have to look at it on a soul level or psychic level. I have to distinguish what are their feelings and what is mine. I am someone who feels things even over great distance, and feels everything another person is feeling, I even hear their thoughts. So I have to separate their feelings from mine. Once I can do that I can let go more easily and deal with the situation. Sometimes I can be around someone and suddenly feel intense hate, anger or fear and I have to stop and look, because usually I am picking up something that is someone else’s.
3. Then, like you, I have always seen that hate is what I call a "secondary emotion". The original or base emotion is fear. I have experienced life as two fundamental emotions: fear and love. And then all the off shoots from those emotions. If we can get to the base emotion we can readily understand what is going on. Or at least I can in myself; it works for me very well and very immediately.
4. I have also learned to watch out that I don't carry someone else's emotions out of my own past conditioning. Ex: if someone hates me and I look inside and know that I've done nothing to deserve that hate and YET I still carry it for them by going inside and feeling all hurt and bad about myself, then what they want to do has worked and it has confirmed for them several things: 1. That it's okay to hate. 2. That what they are doing is working and effective and okay to do “with” me. 3. That they are a bad person (they get this message because I am letting them hate me and I don't think anyone REALLY wants to hate. It hurts to hate another person. And I am telling them it’s okay to be sick and mean or hateful.
5. I have learned that I can set solid boundaries; I don't have to stay in the presence of someone who is sending out hate. It is not good for my spirit and soul. BUT I have also learned to model love to someone who hates. If I feel loving toward Robin then I won’t let someone hate me. I see that I am worthy of love…even in my humanity. If I am loving Robin I meet hate with love. And I mean REAL love, I go in myself and find the soul of that person that is hurting and frightened and I tell them that I love them that they are safe and loved, and not just by me but by LIFE. I have seen amazing results by doing this, even over great distance. I forgive them and myself. I forgive even while they are in a state of hate, because they are in a state of hate, because they are part of me and I am part of them. In forgiving them I forgive Robin. I forgive and I can breathe and love and let go.
6. I have learned that people DO change, People DO heal. People DO learn to love, We are all God (the Creator, Life, The Great Spirit, etc.)
7. I learned that when I heal another I heal myself. We cannot heal something with out healing ourselves, over and over and over again.
Thank you dear one for inspiring me SOOOOOOO much! I think I will turn my comment here into a post for my blog. :) You bring the best out of me. I like that! :)
Every thought and bahavior sets into motion a cause. All causes have effects in your life. Sooner or later, the causes set into motion by your thoughts and actions produce effects which rebound. You experience good (comfortable) karma or bad (uncomfortable) karma. People really only talk about karma when they mean bad karma. It is useful to realize you have more good karma than bad. People don't effect you unless you choose to react.
i have a problem i dont understand my Boyfriend just passed away tow weeks ago his sister an i dont get along i used to live with him for a year then i moved out but left my stuff there but me am him where still togeather long distance relationship we would call each other every day now that he passed away his sister hates me she is mad cause iam taking his van home with me the van is in my name i was not invited to the service she calls me all kinds of bad names she is up set cause iam taking the van at frist i was going to give give her the van but when she started with me calling me all kinds of names i said no she said she wonted to sell the van to bury his ashes iam very hurt i didnt do any thing wrong to this person she is nuts what should i do .
It's definitely brought in some insight as to why an ex-date/friend has been off and on malicious with me. I have forgiven this person a couple of times and have been there through their ups and downs in their relationship. I had shut this person out many times but they always weaseled their way back in.
It's difficult to constantly forgive someone who is flat out mean when I have been nothing but nice to this person. But enough is enough, and letting this person back in my life is nothing more than a trap.
The lesson learned during this 5 year up and down, is to love yourself and to forgive. But it doesn't necessarily mean to keep this person in your life.
I digress...